Author: Hana

Email: cordeliachase@slayme.com mailto:cordeliachase@slayme.com

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: a) BTVS and Angel are owned by Joss Whedon, UPN, WB etc.

b) The first quote is owned by Britney Spears (from 'I'm not a girl,...')

c) The second quote is owned my Celine Dion (from 'A New Day Has Come')

Title: Chapter 9: Confessions

Author's Notes: This is told in a mix of ways. The very beginning is in Buffy's POV. From there onwards (after the stars) it is back to the normal way. As always, sorry for the delay.

Summary: Angel turns human but still stays away from Buffy. 2 Years later they meet up again…

Dedication: Elisha. My other 'frister.'

Distribution: Ask me first.

Reviews (FF.net) and feedback: Definitely!



//I've seen so much more than you know now.

Don't tell me to shut my eyes.//

Buffy:

So this is it.

I either die today...or don't, I guess.

But then again, does it make a difference either way?

I so have to stop thinking doom headed thoughts.

If I don't I guess I'm just going to...I'm going to end up like Gunn.

I have to do this.

I have to kill Nakate.

I just wish Angel were here.



Okay, I am so not going there.

****************************************

It was dark out here. And not just dark because the sun had set so that the street lamps and few cars were the only sources of light. It was dark because there was something there. Something that shouldn't be.

Something evil.

Buffy could feel it. She shuddered at it. Since she was the slayer it was no surprise to her that she felt. She could sense the demons and vampires from far away now that she had developed her skills properly. But this was different. She knew it was Nakate, aside from vampires all different demons sent out a different kind of presence. But Nakate's was so overwhelming it scared her. He scared her.

And that was something no demon had ever been able to do before.

She turned down the lane, she was getting closer every step of the way to reaching Nakate's current home. She walked, not even having to concentrate on her direction, her feet taking her where she needed to go.

Just then Buffy yelped and jumped back. Something - or someone - had come out from the other side. The person grabbed her by the arms and whispered, "Shh. It's only me."

This time Buffy jumped back even more.

"Angel?" Neither of them said anything for a while. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to help you."

"Wh-wh-why?" she stuttered.

For a few moments neither of them could say anything. Then Angel managed, "Because you were right."

"What?" Buffy choked out.

Angel just looked at Buffy first, than replying, "You were right, about what you said. I shouldn't have followed you. I was worried about you, but I needn't have been. You can take care of yourself."

"Thanks, that means a lot," said Buffy softening up. "But somehow I don't think you managed that alone."

Angel smiled. "I had a little help from Cordelia." Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, maybe a lot. But it was from me. She just helped me find it."

Buffy smiled back. She was about to swirl forwards on her heel when Angel stopped her.

"What?"

"There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Okay, shoot."

"Actually it's more along the lines of you telling me something." Buffy's eyes blinked for a moment in understanding but she said nothing. "I know you came to tell me something and even though I didn't then I will listen to it now."

"Cordelia didn't tell you?"

"She said it would be better if I heard it from you." Buffy gave a brief smile. "It's about them isn't it? Something happened."

"Yeah," Buffy whispered. Angel lifted her chin up so their eyes met. Buffy sighed. "Nakate, he's not just some demon. When I fight him it's personal."

"Tell me about it."

"Last year we found out mum was sick. She had a brain tumour and one day I found her lying no the couch, not moving. Not breathing. The ambulance came too late, she was already dead. They said it was the tumour. But, then we found out it wasn't. Nakate had killed her. He had done a spell so there were no traces of it. Her brain tumour was bad enough to have seemed like what killed her."

"Buffy, I'm so sorry -"

"Wait, there's more. In the end we found out about Nakate and how he came. It was because of Willow."

"What?"

"She had overused her magic. She didn't know it, but she had summoned him. After Xander and I spoke to her about it, she disappeared. When we found her again, she had gone completely over to the dark side. At first, I couldn't fight her. I mean, she was my best friend for years and then I wake up one day with a message from the PTBs that the only way to get rid of Nakate is to kill the person whom he was summoned by." Angel's eyes flew up and he embraced her. He could feel small teardrops falling on his jacket. "I couldn't kill her, Angel, I couldn't even face her, until..."

"Until what?" said Angel, dreading the answer.

"Near the end of our first year of college, Willow started dating this girl, Tara." Angel suddenly looked confused. "Willow was gay."

"Oh."

"Anyway, what happened was one day when we were coming to my place, Xander and I found Tara dead. At first we thought it was Nakate, but then we found out it was Willow. In the end I made myself face her, but I didn't have to kill her. She went mad."

"How?" said Angel trying to look at Buffy but only seeing her hair, since her face was buried in his jacket.

"I'm not sure, she and I were fighting and then she started doing these weird things. And then she fainted. I took her to the hospital, incase it was dangerous, but when she woke up she was still like that. The doctors said she was mad."

"Where is she now?"

Buffy finally looked up. "In the Sunnydale Mental Institution." Angel gulped, but didn't say anything. "After that, nothing much happened after that, until Nakate came back. I found out that when he was summoned to earth, if he wasn't given instructions then he tried to kill a being of power, so then he would have their power. This time he had chosen me. That was why he killed mom. Why afterwards he killed Xander..." her voice trailed off and tears began to flow down her face.

"Buffy I'm so sorry." Angel said hugging tight. She cried into his shoulder and he stood their holding her. Then a thought crossed his mind. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?" she whispered.

"What about Giles? Where was he all that time?"

"He was in England."

"England?"

"Yes. He had left before it all started. He said that since I wasn't the slayer anymore there really was no reason for him to be here. Especially since his family was in England." This time, Buffy gulped and stared at Angel with dull grey eyes. "I wasn't his family anymore."

For a moment Angel couldn't say anything. Then, "What about that other girl? The one with brown hair who said she was leaving after graduation, but I saw her when I came that Thanksgiving? What was her name again?"

"Anya."

"That's the one. Where was she?"

"She was there, then."

"But, where is she now?"

"In San Francisco or somewhere around there I think. That time she came back because of Xander. They got engaged before everything started to happen, started to go wrong. After his funeral, she told me she couldn't stay. We said good bye and that was it."

Angel looked at her. She had gone through so much and he was so angry with himself for not being there. He remembered promising her that whenever she needed him he would be right by her side. He had broken that promise. Maybe not all of what happened was his fault but he still should have been there. Then maybe things wouldn't have been so bad. He couldn't change the past, but he could change the future.

So he took her hand in his and led her down the road like he had one night in Christmas many years ago.

And they walked all the way like that. They were on their way to fight a terrible demon.

But they were together.

And for now that was all that mattered.

//Where there was weakness I've found my strength,

All in the eyes of a boy.//

A/N 2: This is not the end!! There is still more to come!