Author: Hana (cordychase)

Email: cordeliachase@slayme.com

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: If I owned them do you think I would have let Angel leave Buffy after graduation?

Title: Chapter 1: Still Not Home

Author's Notes: In the first part it is supposed to be that the s1 finale of Angel happens 2 weeks before Restless. I know that works out wrong considering Prime evil and The Yoko Factor but what the hell, anyway it's my bloody story so I can do what I want with it. Also in this Angel is human from the end of To Shanshu in L.A. onwards (lets say there was a spell on the scroll to make him human as the reward) .For the 2nd part onwards I will not tell you much – but Fred is in It and she is just a normal girl who angel saved from a demon once and DOES work for him but IS dating him. Oh, and Riley has left Buffy. So basically everything true up to s4/1 meaning (among other things) that even though her mum died Angel did mot hear about it and didn't come to see Buffy and there was no such person as Dawn. This part is more angst than the others but I promise there will be fluff!

Summary: Angel turns human but still stays away from Buffy. 2 Years later they meet up again…



Giles, Xander, Willow and Buffy were sitting in the latter's dining room. Her mother had just gone to the kitchen to get them all something to drink.

"So does everyone agree that this was the weirdest thing we've ever come across?" asked Xander.

"Definitely," said Willow. The doorbell rang and Buffy stood up.

"I'll get it." She walked round the table and over to the door. When she turned the handle she was greeted with a familiar sight.

"Cordy!"

"Hey Buffy! I just finished vacation so I thought I'd pop in and say hi. Oh, and look who's here too," she added moving to aside to show Wesley standing next to her.

"Hello."

"Hey. Come on inside," she said moving backwards so that they could enter the house. "Look who's here guys," she said once they were in the dining room.

"Cordelia! Wesley!" Willow exclaimed jumping up to greet the two.

"Hello," said Giles politely.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Xander.

"We were on our way back to L.A. after vacation so we thought we'd pop in and say hi," answered Wesley.

"It's great to see you two again," said Willow enthusiastically.

"Same here. Hey, what happened to you?" asked Cordy noticing Buffy's scar.

"Don't ask. Let's just say it's to do with a big unkillable demon," replied Buffy.

"Who is now rotting after having his ass successfully kicked by the four of us," said Willow.

"Wow. Oh, by the way thanks for those codes, Will. They worked."

"It was a pleasure," replied Willow.

"So, did Angel say anything?" asked Cordelia.

"What do you mean?" said Buffy.

"What, didn't he tell you he's human?" said Cordy, her eyebrows rising. All eyes turned to face Buffy.

"No."

"We'd better get going, Cordy. The bus leaves in half an hour," said Wesley sensing that now was not a good time.

"Okay, then," said Willow.

"Bye guys."

"Bye," said Cordelia.

"See you later," said Willow. Buffy showed them out, despite Xander's and Wesley's protests, and then returned to the dining room looking in need of some proper rest.

"Are you alright?" asked Willow.

"Hmmm," replied Buffy softly sitting down on the nearest chair. Just then Mrs. Summers came into the dining room carrying a tray with drinks.

"Did I just hear the doorbell ring?"

"Yeah, you did," said Xander half-heartedly.

"So who was it then?" asked Joyce.

"Cordelia and Wesley," said Buffy.

"Cordelia, didn't she go to high school with you?"

"Yep. She did."

"Then where is she?" asked Joyce peering round the doorway.

"She left. She and Wesley had to go and catch the bus to L.A., they just stopped to say hi," Willow answered.

"Oh right. Well, I made you some drinks," she said placing the tray on the table. I'm going to go upstairs and get some rest. Goodnight," Joyce told them starting to climb up the stairs.

"Goodnight," said Giles his gaze not leaving Buffy.

"Goodnight Mrs. Summers," chorused Willow and Xander.

"'Night mum," said Buffy lightly.

Once she left Willow broke the silence. "Are you alright, Buffy?"

"Of course, I am, Will. I am absolutely perfect," Buffy replied sarcastically.

"Buff…" said Xander.

"Buffy, if you want to talk about this, you know – " Giles started.

"No. I think I just need to get some rest," she interrupted. She took her drink and walked up the stairs. When she had gone the rest of the Scoobies looked at each other.

"Just wait till I get my hands on that guy," said Xander gritting his teeth.

"Xander! You know that's not going to help Buffy," said Willow exasperatedly.

"I don't care. He's hurt her a million times as a vampire and now that he's finally human he doesn't tell her. The guy's a… I don't know what he is…he's evil, that's what he is."

"Xander, calm down. What Angel's done he's done for a reason, it may be stupid - we all know what he's like, even though he's very possibly changed over the past year – but there must be a reason," said Giles.

"Yeah. Plus, we don't even know what Buffy wants us to do," said Willow.

"Oh, yeah. We all know that even though she's going out with Riley she still loves him Will. I mean look at the way she talks about him," said Xander starting to pace up and down.

"Well, I guess we just have to give her some space for the time being," decided Giles.

"Yeah. Until she wants to talk about it," agreed Willow.

"Well, I don't know about you two but right now I could just about kill that guy." Xander walked off in a huff and left Willow and Giles to look on.

Three Weeks Later…

Buffy was sitting on her bed, like she had been for the past hour. Ever since Cordelia had dropped the bomb about Angel she hadn't been functioning properly. Her mind was spinning, her legs felt like lead and sometimes she felt that if she stayed still one moment longer she would puke. She had to do something. She couldn't talk to Giles, Xander or even Willow. There was only one person who could give her answers. She jumped off the bed and ran down the stairs. She had to get to L.A. Soon.

Later that day…

Angel was filing out his cupboard. The night before he, Wesley and Cordelia had just vanquished the latest demon that had hit the town and the two of them had not reported in for work yet. He heard heels tapping the cold wooden floor of the office. The ex-vampire smiled. "I didn't think you would be in –" he cut off once turning round to face the person who had just entered the room.

"Buffy."

"Hey."

"Sorry, I thought you were, Cordy."

"Yeah." There was a slight pause in which though neither could find their voice their gaze never left each other.

"What are you doing her?" he finally choked out. Suddenly her solemn expression turned into anger as she folded her arms round her chest.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me?" she demanded.

"I d-don't know what you're talking about?" she said bewildered.

"You don't? Wow, that's the first time someone who didn't tell me something didn't know what they didn't say."

"Didn't tell you what?" he asked not sure if that was the right question.

"Oh, just this," she said and pulled up the blind that covered the window to reveal rays of sunlight that now shone harmlessly over Angel. He realised then that she knew he was human. Damn it. How could she find out? He thought.

"How do you –,"

"Cordelia told me when she and Wesley stopped in Sunnydale on their way back here."

"Oh," was all he could manage to say.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked walking towards him till all that was separating them was an inch.

"I didn't tell you because I wanted you to have a normal life," he finally said.

"What?"

"Buffy, I left you so that you could have a normal life and –"

"Angel, I'm a slayer. The chance of life as a normal girl left me a while ago."

"I know Buffy, but at least if you had a normal boyfriend you could get close to that. It's better for you."

"So what? Since when does anyone care what's good for me? I mean here you are and you're deciding what you think is in my best interests without even talking to me about it."

"Buffy this is for the best."

"Don't you love me?" she asked staring into his eyes. He couldn't answer her. He just looked. Then she reached up and kissed him. He was in shock for the first few seconds. Then unable to control himself he began to kiss her back. He almost put his hands around her waist but he resisted. When they broke apart she look at him in the eye. He said nothing. She finally said, "Can you tell me that you didn't feel anything?"

They stood in silence for a few seconds. Then he drew in a well-needed breath and prepared to do something he had never done before. He was going to lie to her.

"I didn't and I don't," answering both her questions. She looked at him in the eye for a moment and then ran out the door. He stayed there for a few minutes staring at the empty door. Then he turned round and began getting back to his work. She, on the other hand, was running as fast as she could to get somewhere, anywhere. Just so long as no one would be able to see her cry.

TBC…