Name: Wandering Remorse

Author: The Bone Lady

Summary: Irina grieves over Laura as guilty memories plague her.

A/N: This is my 3rd Alias fic. I hope you like it. I love Irina, I think she is the most complex and fascinating character on the show. I hope you enjoy this, and I hope I have written her well (just so you know now, I wrote her more umm…. soft and regretful then some others might, and yeah so she's different from how she's played on TV….by the way Lena Olin kicks ass) sorry about any errors, I suck at editing.

Disclaimer: I do not own alias, nor do I produce it. I sadly will never own Michael Vartan…but hey I can

Dream can't I?

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Wandering Remorse

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She sat still, eyes wandering the area. White crosses splayed far to the horizon, another reminder of the dead, her dead. Remorse quickly came while the memories of her regrets pattered through her mind. She wasn't supposed to become this. Not this monster. They told her she was helping communism through out the world, that she would be a hero. Hero's never betrayed, heroes don't lie, and heroes don't kill. It went against everything that was good. She could do everything but laugh at the irony of her very thoughts, they had told her that she was doing her job for the greater good. They made it good. Nihilism at it's best. While we're at why don't we thank god for Stalin? Oh wait we weren't supposed to believe in God.

Her mind drifted back to what stood before her. His name was carved perfectly, the white of the cross still unstained. It stood perfectly straight, the honest image of God's symbol, pure and without fault. Her hands wandered over to the engraved name. Memories flooded her thoughts, but all she could do was try to shut out that day, that hour, and that second. He had cried out for his son's soul to be saved from this woman. "Please…." He looked up as she lifted the gun. "Let you save my son's innocence and soul from this spawn of Lucifer." He looked up at her. His once bright hazel eyes filled with darkness and many regrets. She knew she had to do her job, or else they might kill her child, her only happiness in life. Tears finally started spilling as she fell to the ground. Today was her day, the day she cried for her sins, and grieved for her loss of innocence. She didn't hear the sound of feet behind, she didn't see those green eyes stare in shock. This was not supposed to happen on her day she thought. That same thought kept on wandering through her head as William Vaughn's only son appeared before her. Her wary eyes looked up to meet the eyes that truly hated her most. But a surprise came to her as he stepped forth, not angered hurried steps but slow fragile ones. Her vision blurred and suddenly the feeling of strong arms surrounded her. How could one man have so much compassion? But it wasn't until she heard his pure French pouring from his mouth that she realized what he was doing. He was trying to forgive her. He wanted her soul to be saved. More tears flooded her eyes, as she realized he had just answered her question.

"Why…why don't you hate me?" Her raspy voice cried.

He looked into her eyes, searching for the right words. Finally, he spoke. His words had no bitter resent, nor were they full of understanding. But they spoke so true and full of thought, that she knew, he could forgive. "Because I could never hate the mother of the woman I love, you created her. You gave me back what you had taken away. And for that I will forever be in you thanks. But only for that." Tremors wracked her body, as she felt the need for him to know what drove her to this point, what made her the way she was. Every person has a story…. and this was hers.

TBC

Ok this is probably going to be a 4 parter. Maybe, if I get some reviews, then most likely I will.