Chapter 13 Title: Don't Tell Sam Chapter rating: R (sexual situations, remembered torture)

Early the next morning Iris awoke to the sound of a nightingale singing in the dawn. Outside the slightly open window the stars are fading into a clear, pale lavender/blue sky. Iris found herself spooned up against Frodo's back while he lay asleep on his right side. She had her left arm wound around his chest, and started playing with one of his nipples. He stirred in his sleep and reached his left hand back around to her hip, caressing her.

They ended up making soft, sleepy love in the early morning. They were both lightly sweating, their breath coming in soft moans and mingling with the song of the nightingale. The world was far, far away. Dawn has arrived, and the nightingale's voice was joined by cockcrows, finches and larks, but the lovers didn't notice. They were lost within each other.

Iris lay atop Frodo for a few moments, spent and trembling with released desire. She snuggled up under the arm he had casually flung across her pillow. Frodo finally opened his eyes and smiled down at her.

"I must admit," he sleepily smiled, "I have never experienced a more pleasant awakening in my life."

"You've never spent the night with a lass?" she teased, toying with his nipples again. His chest was hairless and alabaster, making a showcase of his dark pink nipples. Iris was fascinated.

"No, I have never had that pleasure until now," he quietly admitted, stroking her hair. "Iris, I might be fifty-two, but I have not had many sexual encounters in my life. And my Uncle Bilbo couldn't ever bring himself to tell me about such matters the way most hobbit lads learn from their fathers. I am not well versed in pleasing a lass, so I do apologize if I am a bit clumsy or, um, rushed."

Iris smiled and kissed him squarely on the lips. "Mister Baggins, no one could ever accuse you of being clumsy or, um, rushed. You have done more than please this lass." She suddenly became very serious. "You've stolen my heart, Frodo Baggins."

Frodo rolled her over onto her back and planted his own kiss on her lips, then on each breast. "You are quite special to me. More that you will ever realize. I said it last night, and I shall say it again. I love you, Iris Proudfoot."

Iris ran her hands up and down his back as he nuzzled her neck. She could feel the parallel scars on Frodo's back which she had first observed the previous day in the examination room.

"Frodo," she tentatively said, "you said you would tell me about what happened to you during the War."

He stopped kissing and hesitantly settled onto his side, his head propped up on one elbow. "Yes? What do you want to know?" He couldn't help his hand from tracing lazy circles around her breasts and bellybutton.

"You have scars on your back," Iris said. "What are they from? I can tell they must have been infected as well. What happened? How did you get them? Why didn't you seek treatment?"

Frodo flopped on his back and swallowed hard. He closed his eyes and scrunched down into the safety of the bed clothes. He sighed and placed his interlocked hands behind his head. Iris rolled onto her side to reach out a hand of comfort to her suddenly stricken lover. Frodo opened his eyes and turned his head towards her.

"This will not be easy for me, but I did promise to not hide anything from you," he sadly said. He looked up at the ceiling, accessing his memories from that dreadful time. "What I am about to tell you must never, NEVER, go beyond this room. Sam, especially, must never learn of this. Promise me that?"

Iris nodded. This must be something terrible indeed, if Sam was not privy to it.

"Sam and I could not find an un-guarded entrance into Mordor when we reached the Black Gates," he started his narration. "We had to rely on Gollum to lead us to another passage. One he said was very perilous, but not heavily guarded like the others. We had no choice but to trust him. We traveled many days to another pass in the mountains to another citadel. Gollum was right. There was a secret, forgotten tunnel which lead into the mountains and opened up on the other side into Mordor."

Iris settled back, rested her head on his shoulder and placed her hand on his chest. Frodo draped his arm around her waist while the other held onto her hand. His continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Gollum betrayed us there in the dark stairwell. I was attacked by this . this, giant spider is the only way I can describe it. It was huge. It was a monster. The stench was overwhelming. I thought Sam and I had driven it away, but it was stealthy and separated us as I was running towards the light. I do not remember anything else for a long time. Sam told me he saw the monster sting me in the neck. I carry that wound too. It is here, under my hair."

Frodo turned slightly and raised his raven locks away from the left back of his neck. Iris could make out a purplish puncture wound right before his curls started. It was wide and ugly.

"I keep my hair long to hide that scar," he matter-of-factly stated. "The sting paralyzed me. Sam thought I was dead. He told me he stayed with my body for a long time, hoping I would wake up, but I never did. He was forced into making a dreadful decision he should have never had to make. He truly believed I was dead. He was forced to choose between staying with me, or continuing alone into Mordor, by himself, to destroy the Ring."

Frodo sighed and a tear trickled down his cheek. Iris wiped it away. He wanly smiled at her.

"I am sorry. I become emotional when thinking about this. I do not think I shall ever get over it. I know it tore Sam in two. If things had not turned out differently, I am sure he would have gone mad before the end. Taking up the Ring is not done lightly."

"But things did turn out differently, love," Iris quietly said.

"Yes," he said, "but not without a lot of pain. Well, Sam took the Ring and had to abandon me in the tunnels of Cirith Ungol. He tells me he did not get far before hearing a band of orcs coming. They found me and took me into the citadel. That is when Sam learned that I was not dead, only paralyzed. Sam had to find another way into the tower.

I remember waking up with the orcs pouring some burning liquid down my throat. They had already stripped me of most of my clothes and belongings. They were under orders from Barad-dur to strip all spies, interrogate them, and send everything directly to Sauron. He was suspicious that a great Elf lord had the Ring and was trying to get into Mordor to challenge him. I am not a very convincing Elf lord, am I?"

"Not in the least," Iris whispered, trying to not interrupt his mood.

"I was sick from the venom and lack of food and water and rest. I did not know where I was or what had happened to Sam. I thought the orcs had finally captured us, and since Sam was not with me I thought they must have killed him. I knew the Ring was gone, and that was the worse torment. I believed the orcs had already stripped me of the Ring and It was on its way to the Dark Lord, and I would soon follow.

They bickered amongst themselves over everything. One group tried to get information out of me. They finished stripping me and tied me up against the wall for interrogation. I was of no use to them. I thought the Quest was over and everything was hopeless. I despaired, but refused to tell them anything. They kept asking questions and flicking their knives and telling me how they were going to skin me before sending me off to the Eye to be devoured. One did start sticking me with his knife. He . he . well, he jabbed me in the buttocks and then wiped my own blood on my face and . and then licked the blood off. Then they started in with the whips."

Tears escaped from Iris's eyes. She quietly flicked them away. Frodo struggled to contain his emotions. He hugged her to himself in an almost- painful grip. She did not protest.

"I must have blocked out the pain somehow. It was as if a part of me was there in the tower, and another part had flown away to someplace quiet and still. I remember feeling each blow, but I have no memory of the pain itself. I know they were talking to me, asking me questions, but I do not remember hearing anything except the swish of the air as the whip came down across my back. I know I cried out, but I do not know what I said. It was probably insane babbling, since they were angry and kept up the beating and interrogation."

"But the blood on my back did something to them," Frodo wept openly now. "While most of them were arguing over my clothes and who was going to get credit for the capture, one of them cut me down. A fight broke out between the two groups. They were actually killing each other over me and my things. The small one who was wielding the whip dragged me over to a corner."

Frodo closed his eyes, his lips tight and white, his face drawn. Tears rolled down his face. "That orc raped me. He used my own blood to do the deed. I can still feel him rubbing his dirty hands over the wounds on my back to lubricate himself. Iris, don't ever tell Sam. Please."

"Oh, Frodo," Iris sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I promise, I'll never tell a soul."

"Sam can never know," Frodo continued. "He has enough problems dealing with the guilt he feels for having to abandon me in the stairwell and how long it took him to find me again. If he knew about everything they did to me, well, he would never be able to forgive himself and it would drive him insane."

The nightingale gave one last trill before handing over responsibility for songs to the birds of the day. Sunlight drifted in through the window, casting yellow streaks across the sheets and pooling beside Frodo's right side. He finally closed his weary eyes and wiped the tears from his face. After a few moments he continued.

"The orcs killed each other in the end. Sam finally found a way inside and rescued me. It must have been several hours later, but time had little meaning to me then. I know I was in shock and still naked when he found me. I thought I was hallucinating when he sang to me in the gloom and death. I never told him about the rape. He might have guessed, but we have never talked about that day or my torture."

"One of these days you will have to talk to him about it," Iris softy said. "Neither he nor you can heal until you bring it out in the open. I leave that up to you two. This is between you and Sam. But you'll never finish your book until this incident is dealt with verbally."