PART TWO
Jake stood at the stove, stirring the spaghetti sauce, her phone nestled between her shoulder and ear. "What? No, why? Oh, come on, Ryder, just tell me...where are you getting gossip about Will and Bella from, anyway? Ohhhhhhhhhh..." Her tone changed as she teased him mercilessly. "You've been talking to Graaaaaace, haven't you? C'mon...you know you have..." she cracked up.

"Stuff it, Jacqueline. How are things with Hamilton?" he asked pointedly.

Her face fell and her voice frosted over. "Bugger off, you British snot," she muttered. "You know he's in town for work, and you know he's staying here. Stop trying to make me nervous."

"Oh, please, love, if you weren't nervous you wouldn't have bit my head off. Call Bella, that's all I'm saying." He sighed softly, caving in to the question he knew was coming next. "And yes, Grace is the one who told me, are you happy?"

She grinned at the phone. "Immensely. Don't lose her, Ryder. You're a much nicer person when you're with Grace. Didn't realize that's what it was in high school, but..."

"Do shut up, Jacqueline," Ryder said with lethal British politeness. "Call Bella."

"Okay. Coffee next week?" she asked, confirming their set plans.

He lit a cigarette. "See you then, love."

"Stop smoking. She hates it." Jake grinned. "See you next week," she said, hanging up the phone just as the doorbell rang.

She turned the sauce on low and made her way to the door, smiling as she saw Hamilton waiting on the other side. Keep it cool, Jake, she thought as she flipped the locks and opened the door.

"Hey, stranger," she said, smiling as he hugged her. She held on tight, savoring the feel of his arms around her.

Hamilton grinned, releasing Jake slowly. "How is everything, Jake?" he asked as she locked the apartment door and reached to take his jacket. She looked good to him. The tension that had been so present in her eyes at the wedding had faded and she looked happier...not as haunted.

She ran her hands through her hair. "Everything's good, Hamilton. Apparently I need to call Bella, but otherwise, things are pretty normal. Is spaghetti okay? I made that sauce..." she smiled.

"Mmmmmmmm...that's my favorite and you know it," he said as they made their way to the kitchen. "You want me to call Bella and Will while you finish? Or the other way around?"

She glanced around the kitchen. "It's all pretty much under control, actually. If you want to take your stuff to your room and call them, that's cool." He nodded, grabbing the phone from the counter as he made his way to his bedroom with his bags, dialing Will and Bella's number.

Her attention was riveted on draining the pasta when Hamilton walked back into the kitchen a little bit later. "So what's up?" she asked, too distracted by the steaming water pouring into the sink to notice the dazed look on his face.

Wisely, Hamilton waited until she had drained the spaghetti. "Bella," he said quietly, "is pregnant."

The pasta pot clattered loudly into the sink as Jake's head snapped up, her eyes stunned. "Wh...what? When? How? No, don't answer that, I know how," she muttered, her head spinning. Bella and Will were going to have a baby? Her mind fought to process the information. Oh God...oh God...first that and now...now this...I can't...calm down calm down calm down. He'll see...he'll know...there's food, he won't notice, but he's not stupid so..." she blinked, startled out of her thoughts by his hand in front of her eyes.

"Jake? Hello? Where'd you go, boy?" He'd thought this would be good news, but for some reason, it didn't look to him like Jake was handling it well. She seemed utterly surprised. It was strange...almost like they were having the same reaction to the news, she was just showing it more openly. That was impossible, though. Jake...she should be thrilled that her best girlfriend was having a baby.

She smiled shakily as she snapped out of her daze. "Sorry...just...wow, really? That's so amazing! I...I should call her. Later. Dinner's ready now. You hungry?" She busied herself with the last minute dinner preparations, focusing on keeping her hands steady and the tears out of her eyes. "Can you get the wine out for me?"

Hamilton watched her carefully as he poured wine for them both. It was almost like whatever had been bothering her at the wedding was back with a vengeance. There was something tickling the back of his mind, something that might help him figure it out, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He sighed inwardly as she took the food to the table, smiling brightly. She's faking again, he thought.

"Dinner is served," she said, hoping he couldn't see the pain in her eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Much later that night, Hamilton woke up suddenly. He sat up, confused, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as the room came into focus. What? Why...God, why am I awake at...he glanced at the clock. 2.45 in the morning?? He never woke up that early...or late, depending on what time he'd actually gone to bed. Hamilton was an 8-hour a night sleeper, and God help the person who woke him up in the middle of that. Sighing to himself, he decided that he must have woken up simply because of the strange bed in a strange apartment in a strange city.

"Shit!" There was a clatter in the kitchen, and that was clearly Jake's voice. Throwing back the covers, he got up to find out what was really going on.

Jake bit her lip, hoping Hamilton hadn't woken up as she picked the pasta pot up and started scrubbing again. She couldn't sleep. God knows she'd tried, tossing and turning for hours as she tried to fight down what she was feeling. Finally, she had to get up. They'd left the dishes soaking in the sink, so she decided to take her stress out on them.

"Uh...Jake? I'm pretty sure it's clean now. Unless...is 'shiny' now a synonym for 'dirty'?"

She jumped slightly, startled. "How long have you been standing there?" she demanded, the pain inside her making her defensive.

"Um..." Hamilton bit his lip. "A few minutes? Sorry...I heard something and just...thought I'd check and make sure everything was okay." He looked closely at her. He could swear there were tears in her eyes and tearstains on her cheeks. "Jake, is everything okay?" he asked quietly, hoping she'd finally tell him.

Her face shuttered. "Everything's fine. Just couldn't sleep, so I decided to do the dishes. Sorry I woke you...go back to bed."

With that terse order, Hamilton's temper flared. "No," he said shortly. "I'm sick of this."

"Wh...what?" Jake stared at him, stunned.

He ran his hands through his hair as he started to pace. "You," he said, pinning her with his gaze, "have been quiet, moody, and secretive with me ever since Bella and Will got married. I'm so sick of it, Jake. Dammit...I'm supposed to be your best friend. Why can't you just tell me what the hell's going on?" His voice faded, laced with hurt.

"I...Hamilton, no...it's not...I can't..." she stuttered helplessly, fighting back tears. The bewilderment in his eyes was too much for her to bear. She hated it...seeing the hurt on his face...the loss in his beautiful eyes...she was going to crack. "Please," she whispered softly, "please go back to bed."

"No." He held her gaze, determined to have this out. "It's destroying us, whether you see it or not, and I'm sick of it. I feel like you're slipping away from me, Jake. If that's what you want...if you want me out of your life, then just say it. God, stop with the damn cold shoulder. Stop shutting me out. Just tell me to leave you alone and I will."

She closed her eyes as a few tears slid down her cheeks. "Hamilton, no...God...you've got it all wrong, okay? I'm not trying to shut you out, but this...you can't help with this." She looked at him, her eyes filled with tears in the dim light as she whispered softly, "I wish you could...you don't know how badly I wish you could...but you can't. I'm so sorry."

He set his jaw. Her tears were going to kill him, but he had to do this. He'd been nice and patient and careful for months now and they weren't getting anywhere. "You are too trying to shut me out."

"No, I'm not. I swear..." her voice trailed off weakly.

"Jake. Stop it. If you're not trying to shut me out, then don't fucking do it. Tell me what's going on." He hated this. Hated doing this to her...hated pushing as hard as he was, but this secret of hers was killing them.

Jake turned back to the sink, turning the water on full blast as she scrubbed furiously, muttering to herself. How dare he do this to her? She hated it when he pushed. God, why couldn't he just wait a while? It would go away in time. She'd make it go away.

He walked up behind her quietly, turning off the faucet.

"...pigheaded, stubborn, arrogant, irritating, annoying, frustrating, can't leave me alone, God...if he'd just stop it would go away...he's so damn annoying..."

"You said that already."

"Shit!" she cried, glaring at him through her tears. "Just...leave it alone, Hamilton! Dammit, there's nothing you can do, okay? It's not your fucking fault that I'm jealous and it's not your fucking problem so just - "

His eyes widened, stunned. "Jealous? What? Jake...why would you be jealous?"

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...shit. Shit. Stop while you can...please... but she couldn't.

"Why the hell wouldn't I be jealous? Bella and Will...God, they have everything..."

He swallowed hard, wondering where she was going with this. "Everything? But...I thought you were happy, Jake. What do they have that you don't?"

She glared, her eyes burning with hurt and frustration and anger as she cried. "They have each other. Forever. They're best friends, they're in love, they're married, they're having a damn baby and I'm so fucking jealous of them I can't stand myself. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

He stared at her numbly as she cried. She was jealous? She wanted what Bella and Will had? "Jake...what...that's why you've been so upset?"

She sighed in frustration. "Duh, Hamilton. God...I hate it...hate feeling so petty and ridiculous and knowing that I should be grateful for what we have now and I shouldn't let stupid shit bother me and God..."

"Wh...what?"

She shuttered again. "Nothing."

He narrowed his eyes as bits and pieces began to come together into a pattern that was so stunning and incomprehensible it took his breath away. Did she just say...? No. NO. She can't feel...oh God, what if she does? Stop it. Shut up. She didn't mean...

"Jacqueline, why are you jealous of Bella and Will?"

She wiped her eyes, defeated. "It should have been us, Hamilton," she whispered softly.

He stared, speechless.

"That should have been me in the damn white dress and you at the front of the church and it should have been us dancing the first dance, Hamilton." Tears were pouring down her face now as she finally let go of all the pain that had been bottled up inside for months. "And Goddammit, it should be you and me finding out we're having a baby...because it's so right for us. So fucking right. And I'm so tired of hiding and it makes my stupid heart break every time I think about it so I'm trying really really really hard to get over the fact that I love you and accept that you're just my best friend and I'm sorry but it hurts, okay?"

And with that, everything in Hamilton's brain stopped functioning. He didn't know what happened or how it happened but all he knew was that Jake said she loved him.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Wh...what?"

She couldn't say anything else; there was nothing left to say. She sobbed quietly, hating herself for being so weak...for ruining the one thing that was most important to her life.

"No...oh God, no...please...don't...Jake..." and then he was pulling her into his arms, holding her close as she sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Hamilton...I've tried so hard to fight it. I shouldn't have said anything...please...don't let this change things between us...I...I'll never mention it, I promise," she whispered sadly.

He bit his lip, whispering softly, "It changes everything, Jake." She started to pull away, but he held tight as he traced her cheek gently with one hand, wiping away her tears. "Oh God...I..." he stared into her eyes as words failed him. Swallowing hard, Hamilton did the only thing he knew to do.

His lips brushed over hers tenderly as his hands slid up to cup her cheeks. She gasped and he deepened the kiss, melding his lips to hers as all the frustration and years of pent-up hidden love poured out of him.

Jake whimpered softly, shocked that he was kissing her, but too happy to question it. She slid her arms around him, holding him against her as her tongue met his, teasing, shivering as the intensity grew. His tender kiss was quickly becoming uncontrollable. She loved it, clinging as he pressed closer, sliding his lips across her cheek, under her jaw to the sensitive place right under her ear.

He shuddered helplessly, the feel of her hands on his skin making him burn for more. Her tiny moan when he kissed under her ear made him smile. He'd remembered. He slid his cheek against hers, savoring the feel of her skin as he whispered, "God, I love you...I don't think I ever stopped, Jake."

She pulled back, looking up at him with wide eyes. "You do? You didn't?"

He swallowed hard, whispering, "I love you, Jacqueline."

"Y...you...are you sure, Hamilton? It's okay if you're not...just tell me. I'll understand. I promise," she said nervously, still unable to believe her luck.

He kissed her again, whispering sweetly, "I love you. I've loved you since I was 15. I love you now. I promise, Jake...I've waited my whole life for you. We don't have to wait anymore...don't be scared...please? It's me..."

"It's always been you," she whispered against his lips, pulling him towards her bedroom.