Chakotay punched furiously at the small blue punching bag in front of him in frustration and anger, hitting it swiftly each time it swung back towards him.

It had been ten days since the party at Sandrine's but his conversation with Phoebe still hung heavily in his thoughts. He had wandered away from Phoebe in shock, not at the revelation that Kathryn loved him - he'd had suspicions about that for years -- but at the fact that she had done nothing about it. He understood her reasons while she was on Voyager, but it upset him that she hadn't told him now that they were back on Earth.

Of course, he was dating Seven...but that was part of the problem too. He believed that he genuinely had feelings for Seven as well as the Captain, but he was unsure what to do. He wished he could talk to someone about it, but Kathryn was his closest friend and, well...he could hardly talk to her about it. So here he was on the holodeck, in his favorite boxing program, beating up on a small blue bag filled with sand. He had tried boxing holographic opponents, but he was too distracted to strategize and he had lost three matches in a row before switching to the bag.

As he boxed, he reflected on the previous week. He had been distracted and awkward around Kathryn all week, especially when Seven was around. Kathryn had never said anything about his behavior, but from the odd glances she kept giving him, he knew that she must have noticed something.

Suddenly a voice startled him out of his reverie. "Torres to Chakotay."

With a sigh he quickly walked over to his combadge, which he had laid on a bench nearby so that it wouldn't get damaged. "Chakotay here. How are you, B'Elanna?"

The impatient and harassed voice of B'Elanna Torres answered him quickly. "You're late, Chakotay. You were supposed to meet us at the restaurant a half hour ago and now Miral is pitching a fit because she's teething, hot, fussy and hungry. That's how I'm doing. Where are you?"

He winced. "I'm sorry, B'Elanna, I was in a holosuite and I lost track of time. Let me change into more appropriate clothing and I'll be there as soon as possible."

He could hear B'Elanna sigh over the comm. "We'll be waiting."

As he said this he hurriedly began to exit the holosuite and requested a site-to-site transport back to Kathryn's house.

He entered the quiet house and noticed a PADD on the kitchen table. He paused and scanned it. It was a note from Kathryn telling him that she was spending the day at the beach with Phoebe and her family. She also told him that Seven would be gone for the day as well as she was going to see her aunt, but that both she and Seven would be back home in time for dinner that evening.

He sighed, knowing that she might have enjoyed having lunch with B'Elanna, but he knew that she would also enjoy spending time with Phoebe and her family.

He jogged up the stairs to his room and quickly changed out of his sweaty clothes. After he had put on clean civilian clothes, he called for a site- to-site transport to the restaurant where B'Elanna was waiting.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway sat on the southern California beach, relaxing and enjoying watching Phoebe's kids as they played in the ocean.

She was enjoying the afternoon immensely and was glad that Phoebe had convinced her to come, declaring that it would be good for her. And Phoebe was right - she was enjoying herself...however, it was times like these that made her wonder what her life would have been like had she pursued a family instead of a career in Starfleet.

She sighed heavily and was about to get up to go find her sister when Phoebe sat down next to her.

"Why the long face Kathryn?"

"I was just thinking about what might have been, had I made different choices."

"You mean Chakotay?"

Kathryn glanced over at her sister with an unreadable expression. Phoebe met her gaze steadily and finally Kathryn looked away.

"Not really. It's related in a way, but I was really thinking about what my life would have been like if I'd had children. Obviously that hasn't been an option for the last seven years."

"Well, what about now? You're not in the Delta quadrant anymore."

"No," she said carefully, "I'm not."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"I'm not going to jump into anything." She smiled wryly. "Before I can have children I would have to find a father for them."

Phoebe laughed, but then looked candidly at her sister and said with customary directness, "I thought you already had, Kathryn."

At this comment Kathryn glanced quickly over at her sister then her gaze flicked back out towards the children and their father. When she finally turned back to face her sister, Kathryn's face was a mask showing nothing.

"I won't tell him, Phoebe. He has Seven now and he's obviously very happy with her. He's certainly been acting more comfortable around her lately than around me. I won't ruin his chance at happiness."

"How do you know that you wouldn't make him happier than she would?"

"I won't say anything to him," she insisted. "Besides, why do you think he would be happier with me?"

"Because when I -- "

Phoebe stopped abruptly as she realized what she had almost revealed.

"When you what?" prompted Kathryn.

"Nothing."

Kathryn's eyes narrowed. "Phoebe."

"It's nothing," she insisted. "Just...a conversation I had with Chakotay."

But it was too late; Kathryn had already figured it out. "You told him," she whispered in horror, her eyes wide.

Phoebe watched her for a moment then began to explain. "It was an accident, Kathryn. I didn't mean to tell him -- it just slipped out."

Kathryn remained silent, staring ahead at the waves crashing on the beach.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," continued Pheobe, "I know you didn't want him to know, but he was concerned about you. I really didn't mean to tell him."

Phoebe stopped talking knowing that whatever she said now was useless. So she just sat there waiting for Kathryn's reaction. She didn't have to wait very long.

"I'm going back to the house," she said quietly.

Phoebe opened her mouth but before she could think of something to say Kathryn had picked up her belongings and was already making her way down the beach.

* * *

They were halfway through the meal when Chakotay finally realized that B'Elanna had been talking to him for the last few minutes. When she had asked his opinion on something or other, he had finally realized that she was talking to him.

"What did you say, B'Elanna?"

B'Elanna stared at him in concern for a moment then sat back in her chair, ignoring the meal in front of her.

"What's the matter, Chakotay? You've been distracted ever since you got here. Is everything okay with you and Seven?"

"Everything's fine." He tried to change the subject away from his mood. "How bad is the rumor mill? I'm sure it can't be good."

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't think anyone knew until that party at Sandrine's that you two were together. Quite frankly, I think it surprised a lot of people."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're not exactly an obvious match."

"Look who's talking."

B'Elanna smirked. "Well, you have to admit that when Seven first came aboard Voyager you obviously didn't get along with her and didn't really trust her either. And to be blunt, most of the crew always thought that if you ever got involved with someone on Voyager it would be the Captain."

Chakotay was silent for a moment, considering her comment. "There was never anything between us beyond friendship, although I admit that I did wish for more at times. We did flirt occasionally, but nothing ever came of it. I had always hoped that if we ever got home that maybe our relationship would change."

"You're home now," said B'Elanna.

"But I was already dating Seven when the Admiral showed up. Besides...I didn't really think that Kathryn cared about me like that anyway. But now..."

"What do you mean? What's changed?" B'Elanna's eyes widened. "Did the Captain admit that she has feelings for you?"

He looked up, surprised that at her perception.

"Something obviously happened," she continued, "And it's bothering you a lot."

"She didn't say anything to me...but I found out from her sister and now I don't know what to do. A year ago it would have been so simple -- I would have just gone and told Kathryn that I felt the same way, but now with Seven in the equation...it wouldn't be fair to her if I decided to explore a relationship with the Captain."

"Would it be fair to her to stay in a relationship with her if you're in love with someone else?"

"No," he said slowly, "I suppose not." He sighed. "I guess I should at least talk to Kathryn and see where it goes from there. I owe her that much."

B'Elanna smiled. "Go on. We'll have lunch another time."

He stood to leave, but as he turned to walk away B'Elanna laid a hand on his arm, making him stop and face her.

"Good luck, Chakotay. The whole crew has watched the Captain struggle to get us home for so long, and now we just want her to be happy."

He smiled and nodded to her in acknowledgement then left the restaurant.

The transport and the walk back to the house seemed to take forever, especially when he was so anxious about telling Kathryn. He paused at the door for a moment, just to collect his thoughts, and then opened the door and walked into the house.

He could hear voices coming from the kitchen, and when he entered the room he saw Phoebe and her mother sitting at the kitchen table. He started to greet them, but immediately noticed their tense attitude.

"Is something wrong?" They glanced at each other and avoided his gaze. Phoebe's expression seemed guilty and concerned. He immediately noticed the missing presence. "Where's Kathryn? I thought she was spending the day with you."

Phoebe paused a moment and glanced at her mother and answered him without looking up from the table.

"She's gone," she said softly.

It felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs and when he anwered his voice came out uneven. "What?"

Phoebe finally looked up at him. "She was already gone when we got home. She left a note saying that she would be returning to Starfleet Headquarters. She didn't say when she would be back."