I don't own slam dunk so don't sue me its takehiko inue property

This is a story about Ryota's feeling when Ayako decided to live with her family who are based in Tokyo

Left Behind

I'm not bitter, not mad. I could never be mad at her. But that doesn't change the way I feel. I don't blame her, I could never do that, but I'm still lonely. She would have stayed if she could, I know that. They all would have. But she couldn't, and it wasn't her fault.

I wonder if she thinks of her family, there in Tokyo. I wonder if she is happy. Her family seems quite loving, and I hope their love is enough for her. I wonder if she thinks of me.

She was such a sweet girl, always friendly to me, always eager to meet my friends. She never made me feel alone, and she wasn't afraid to tell me if I was being stupid. And she left me here.

It's not her fault. She had to leave. I couldn't have stopped her (or could I?).

She never knew how I felt (or did she?). Would that have made her stay? The fact that I loved her and could think of no one else, then and now? Would that have made her stay with me? No, that's selfish. Her family, her friends, they need her

I need her.

 I'm being selfish again. If she is happy in Tokyo, then I am happy (or am I?). If she doesn't need to stay with me, if she doesn't need me . . . no, that's selfish. She doesn't even know how I feel, and I don't know how she feels.

But I need her. That much I do know. When she was here, I felt happy, I felt like I belonged. She was always the one who made me feel that way. Even as a child, she was my friend . . . I grew up for her. I willed myself to grow up. But I can't will her to be here. I wonder why not? That's a lie, I know why I can't . . . my heart isn't in it. She's happy in Tokyo. My will for her to be happy is stronger than anything else. Maybe it's me that's keeping her there. I never want her to be unhappy . . . I love her.

I never told her how I felt . . . I can't help but think that if I had told her . . . if I had told her, she would have stayed with me. But she left. And I'm here alone. Left behind.

If I told her . . . what if she felt compelled to stay? And felt compelled to leave her family? Because of me? I couldn't have that. But . . . it's what I want. I can't have both, and I know if I was forced to choose, I'd want her with me. But she was the one who made the choice, and she left.

I don't blame her . . . it's not her fault. It's my stupidity. I should have told her.

I can't ask a girl to leave her family and her home, especially on my account. Especially not her. And yet . . . even if it wouldn't make her stay . . .

I'll always love her, and maybe one day, she'll return to me. And she'll feel the way that I do. Just maybe . . .

It's up to her. What she wants is what I want.

Just to see her again would be . . . Just to hear her call for me . . . Just to have her happy . . . I don't know. I can't have everything. I don't want everything. I just want her . . .

. . . happiness. That's all. Her happiness.

Ayako . . . no matter what . . .

It's no use. Nothing I can say or do can bring her back. Nothing. I'm alone. If I have to choose between her happiness or my happiness . . . and yet . . .

I should have told her.

                                       THE END

To all those who read some of my fics  haven't you noticed that most of my stories are sad? Because now I was under this stupid depression. Istead of making my self useless I decided to write some stories that reflects how I feel now. So I hope you like this ficci of mine and hope all of you will review