This is really kind of pointless…. And not really insanely funny… at all… REVIEW OR DIE!!
Chapter 1
The walls are so… grey. Why are they grey? Can't they be purple or something? Purple is a good color. My hair is purple, you know? I found a spell on how to do it in a cosmetics book. I like purple. Green is good too. Why are the walls grey?
Hey look! There's Snape! He's a great guy! So funny! Why does everyone glare at me when I laugh at his jokes? Why do I always get detention when I laugh at his jokes? I try to hold it in, but itnever works. The walls in Snape's room are kind of green…
Why was he just glaring at me? I'm going to marry him someday, you know? Not because I love him. I don't love him. I love Draco Malfoy. I'm gonna marry Severus cause he's such a great guy, and because he has a good proffesional job. Draco is gonna be a male model for a few years, I know it, he'll try to be Minister, but won't make it and settle down to playacting. Maybe he'll go to America and be on Broadway.
My Aunt has been on Broadway. She has a very good voice. Right now she is in the Sound of Music as one of the nuns. Draco sings really good. He should be on Broadway! Why can't I be on Broadway? Because I can't sing to save my life. Here comes some Gryffindors. Just those three kids… Granger, Weasley, and Potter. I don't like them. They're mean to Draco. He never does anything to them.
I wish I could tell some one about how I love Draco. Everyone would hate me! Even Katrina! Curse the day I was made a Gryffindor!
Eww! What is that mark on the floor? The grey floor. Why is everything grey? I know its stone, but can't it be some other color? I'm going to charm them purple with the same spell I used on my hair. Or maybe I can… paint them? That's it! I'll paint them! I'll have to work fast though, otherwise I won't have very much done when the teachers clean it up. If I get caught, Filch will kill me. Grey is so ugly.
These corridors are so long! Where is the transfiguration room, anyway? I think I passed it! No! How long have I been walking in this direction? Dammit! I'm two floors higher than I should be! I better hurry. I'm going to be late! Oh, why do I have to daydream so much? I BLAME THE WALLS AND THEIR STUPID GREY COLOR!
I hate running! Now I will be all out of breath, and I won't be able to… OH NO! We have an exam today! God, I'm gonnna fail!
Okay, I made it! Wait… why is everyone laughing at me? Why are Snape and Draco here? OH DEAR GOD! WHERE ARE MY ROBES!!?!?!
It's okay. Just a daydream. Phew.
Now I'm really here. I hope… Did I actually just make that gulping noise like on TV? How lame. I guess I'm not that late. At least I don't have a… OW! CRAMP! CRAMP!
I'll look silly if I put my arms over my head, but that's how you're supposed to get rid of this! How can I concentrate with a cramp in my side?
Oh no! She's passing out tomatoes! Tomatoes? Oh, I get it. She saw tomato shaped pincushions in a muggle craft store. I was wondering why she kept talking about that when it seemed so pointless.
She's telling us what to do. Hey! Did Draco just pass by! God, he is so hooooot, you know? Wait, I missed that! What was the spell! OH NO! Everyone is starting! What am I supposed to do!? Okay, calm down! Just copy some one else.
God, I feel so stupid! Everyone is doing something, except me! Am I in a spotlight or what? I hope McGonigal doesn't notice. Man, is it hot in here? No, that was just Draco. Hehe. Serious! Oh no! She sees me! Okay! Act natural! OH NO! She's walking towards me! Do something!!!!
Um… MEDITATE! I am so stupid. What am I doing with my eyes closed? I better chant or something.
What am I doing, you ask? Heheh… COME ON! THINK!
Yes! Good one! I'm meditating to concentrate on making the spell work! PAT ON THE BACK! But now, how am I supposed to do this spell? Wait! I just heard it! Praise the lord! I think I heard it!
I think it worked. I think its still a little tomatoee. Maybe its edible. HEY! Maybe I can sell those! I'll be rich! Than I can marry Draco after all, you know, buy him into a proffesional job! She's walking around! I better tell her I intentionally made it edible.
YES! SHE BOUGHT IT! A+ for me! BOOYA! Good thing I'm such a quiet kid. Okay, class is over. Better go to lunch! I wonder if I'm allowd to sit at the Slytherin table!
END OF CHAPTER ONE
