When Mark and I got back to the loft, April and Roger had moved from their bedroom to the couch. April sat up and Roger had his head in her lap. She absentmindedly stroked his hair and flipped through a magazine.
Our entrance startled her, especially since Mark yelled that he brought leftovers home for them. We put the food in the small cubic fridge and Mark went to check on Maureen, whom April said hadn't stirred yet at all.
When Mark was out of sight, I tossed her the small brown bottle I picked up for her. It bounced off of Roger, causing him to stir, but she was able to grab it before he realized what was happening.
"What the fuck?" Roger said groggily.
"Sorry, Roger." I said sheepishly.
I watched April glance at the bottle and then glare at me. She gripped onto it tightly and shimmied herself away from Roger. "Baby, go back to sleep, Collins and I will go outside to talk."
"Mmm…" He had already flipped over so that he was facing the back of the couch.
April grabbed my arm and dragged me into their bedroom and opened the window. She stepped out onto the fire escape and I followed her.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She whispered loudly, holding up the bottle.
"April, you're going to have to tell him." I whispered to her sternly.
"Not that way!"
"Well how? When?" I asked her, raising my voice.
"I… I don't know. But on my time! Collins, I just found out yesterday!"
"He needs to get tested, April." She frowned and turned away from me. "It isn't fair…"
"Fair? What the hell about this is fair?" Tears formed in her eyes and her face was quickly turning crimson.
"Nothing, sweetie, nothing." I stepped towards her and reached out but she pushed me away.
"Besides, who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?"
"A friend."
"Bullshit. You didn't get tested until after Michael died."
"Yeah but…"
"No, I don't want to hear it." She backed away from me. "And I don't want this shit." She handed threw the bottle on the ground.
"April! You need that our you'll get sick."
"No… no I won't."
"Honey, I'm all for having a positive attitude, but denial isn't going to cure you."
"No, I'm not going to get sick, I won't let myself."
"These," I picked up the bottle and held it out to her, "Are the only way to stop it right now," I pleaded with her.
"Not the only way," she said simply.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing, forget it."
"No, what did you mean?"
"Look, I promise I'll tell Roger, just give me some time, ok?"
"You really shouldn't wait."
"I won't, I promise. He'll find out real soon."
She crawled through the window and I followed her. When we walked back into the living room, I was surprised to see Roger awake and Mark sitting right next to him feeding him the leftovers.
"Ahem."
"Oh hey, guys!" Mark overstated. "We were just… I wanted Roger to taste this burrito I got at the Life."
Roger shifted his position so he wasn't so close to Mark. "Everything ok, babe?" He reached out for April and she took his hand.
"Yeah, everything is fine." She smiled at him.
"So Collins," Roger said, after he pulled April toward him, "Mark told me he asked you to move in. Welcome."
"Thanks, it really helps me out…"
"You're moving in?" April asked.
"Yeah, do you mind?" I said.
She turned red again and shook her head.
"Of course she doesn't mind!" Mark said as he got off the couch, "She and Collins go way back!"
I laughed, "Actually Mark…"
"Yeah, Collins and I have shared a lot." April interrupted and smiled at me. I smiled back and watched Mark walk back to the small kitchen.
"Hey Collins,
come here." I walked over to the
kitchen, "You might not want to leave these out," he picked up my prescription
bottle that I left on the counter, "Things like these tend to walk out the
door."
"No, probably not…" I grabbed
for the bottle, but he pulled it away.
"AZT?" He read. I took the bottle from his hand and walked toward April and Roger. "AZT?" He looked at me. "You have… are you?"
I stopped and turned to him. "Yeah, I'm HIV Positive."
"Holy shit." Roger spit out behind me.
Mark dropped the bottle like it was poison and the room grew silent.
"April, did you know?" Roger finally asked.
"Uh… no, I had no idea," She stated, I turned quickly towards her, shaking my head.
"Look, if you guys have changed your mind about letting me live here…"
"No! Of course not!" Mark walked toward me. "We're just surprised. But I mean, we live in the village, we know people who are… uh… positive."
"Yeah, like this junkie I know in the park, he got diagnosed a few years ago, but he's still kicking," Roger pitched in.
"Roger…"
"No, it is ok. We should talk about it, that way it will be no big deal after awhile."
"Right, no big deal," Maureen mumbled from the doorway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop…" She came over to me and took my hand. "I'm sorry, Collins."
"Thanks." I smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug.
"Did you get it from your boyfriend? Is that how he died?" Mark asked.
"Yeah." The room grew awkwardly silent for a few minutes, as everyone diverted their glances from me and from each other. "Look, why don't I go for a walk and you guys can discuss this and if you are ok with me staying here. I'll understand if you're not, really."
"Collins, of course we want you to stay." April said. "We need you here."
Maureen laughed, "It's true, only one day and you wiggled your way into this family."
"Still, I think I need some air," I said as walked towards the door. "I'll be back in a half an hour." I smiled and waved at them, "Honestly, I'll understand if you change your minds."
