A/N: Thanks Kait for looking over this in record speed. Yay!
The club Maureen chose was a dance club with flashing strobe lights and loud bass-heavy music. I lost the other three as soon as we walked in the door. I wandered over to the bar and ordered my usual drink, a Stoli straight and turned and leaned against it, staring off onto the dance floor.
I couldn't really see more than a few people deep, the place was packed and everyone there was having a good time. I decided to walk through and see if I could find one of my new friends. I walked along the perimeter, the best I could, while juggling my drink and avoiding the sweaty, almost naked bodies. A flash of light gained my attention and I spotted Mark, camera up to his eye, taking it all in.
"Hey there," I bumped into him, playfully. "Having fun?"
He reluctantly pulled the camera down, "Yeah, I guess."
"Where is that lady of yours?"
"WHAT?" Mark yelled over the drum beats.
"MAUREEN!?" I yelled back.
"In there somewhere…"
As if on cue, Maureen appeared from the dense crowd, leading a very cute, obviously gay, guy behind her. "Collins! Just who I was looking for!" She grabbed my glass and downed the rest of it. "I wanted you to meet a friend of mine!" She screamed in my ear. She pulled the guy closer to me, "Collins, this is Mike!"
"Mike?" I yelled back. "As in Michael?"
"Yeah, nice to meet you, Collins." He reached out his hand to me; I shook it, and then shot Maureen a look.
"Same here. Look, I have to go." I turned around and maneuvered my way through the crowd. It was a good thing I couldn't hear their conversation, but I imagined that Mark was yelling at her for being insensitive.
It wasn't that he reminded me of Michael, and it wasn't just that I'm not ready to date, I'm not, but… it was just…
"Roger!" I had made my way to the door and saw a small group of shadowy figures hunched over. I recognized the white lettering on his t-shirt glowing from the black light. He barely flinched at my voice, but reacted enough to know he heard me.
As I approached the group, I saw him trying to slyly pass a needle to the guy next to him.
That was it, I couldn't take it and I couldn't hold it in. This guy was a fucking idiot. I grabbed his arm and pulled him up from the bench and dragged him out the closest door. I slammed his body against the wall.
"What the fuck, Collins!" He pushed me back, but I easily held my ground and trapped him.
"Sharing needles? Are you fucking stupid or do you just have a death wish?"
"I didn't even do anything!"
"You were about to!"
"Yeah, so? It was a new needle." He pushed back against me, "NOT that I have to explain anything to you!"
"Yeah, you do. What about April? How will you feel when you…"
"Who the fuck are you? You just met us yesterday!"
"Who the fuck am I? I'm a walking reminder that this disease exists, that is who I am!"
"Look, Collins, I'm sorry that you're sick, but this is none of your business. I'm none of your business, ok?"
"Roger, you have a problem, no one in that loft will admit or say anything to you! Maureen is too into her own world to notice. Mark is so fucking in love with you; he is scared to say anything, scared you'll leave. And April…"
"Don't." He turned his gaze from me; "Just don't bring her into this."
"Don't you see what you are doing to her? She is terrified for you, and she is so sad. She's afraid of you, too."
"Fuck off." The tears that were welling up in his eyes let me know that I was getting through to him.
"Look, you might not have forever. Especially with this road you're on. That girl loves you, don't fuck it up."
"It's too late…"
"No, it's not. Roger, you can stop."
"I can't! Look, you don't think I've tried? When I don't get a hit, I get sick, really sick…" He looked up at me, "I can't think of anything else."
"I know, but you have to do it. For April. She needs you."
"There they are!" Maureen stormed outside the club. "We've been searching everywhere for you guys!"
"Oh hey, we
were just talking." I backed away from
Roger, and he discreetly wiped his eyes.
"Everything ok?" Mark wanted to know.
"Yeah, peachy keen," Roger noted. "Let's get out here." He started walking away from the club, and the three of us followed him.
"Look Collins, I'm sorry about introducing Mike to you…"
"It's ok, Maureen."
"No, I mean, I just thought that since you were single, and he's really cute…"
"Maureen, SHUT. UP." Mark interjected.
"You shut up! All I'm saying was that, even though you're positive doesn't mean you can't…"
"Yeah it does," I said simply, without breaking my stride.
"No, it doesn't! There are ways to be safe and…"
I stopped in my tracks and turned to her, raising my voice louder. "Yeah, Michael and I were safe and looked what happened. This virus ends with me. I'm not passing it on to anyone."
"Oh. Uh," Maureen sputtered out, "Sorry… I just thought…"
"Maureen… just stop," Mark snapped.
We all walked the rest of the way in silence, all thinking about our own demons. Well, maybe not Maureen, who knows what she was thinking about. Still, none of us knew what was waiting for us back at the loft.
