chapter 1......running away I just coulsn't take it anymore.I hated all the people who fucked up my life.All the people who turned on me. All the people who humiliated me. All my family who barely even realizedI existed. All the people I ever loved now hated me. I felt like just ending my life right there. I could have. The gun was right at my forehead. I almost pulledthe trigger. In that moment my life flashed before my eyes. My poor childhood, my my embarassment. my pain. The things i put up with. The way my dad absed me. I had not one reason not to but i couldn't. I couldn't take my own life.I dropped the gun and fell at my knees crying. I just wanted to die.I hated my slef so bad.I was so miserable. My life was worthless.Nobody liked me. Nobody loved menot even my mother. Never once in my life did i feel love.Sixteen years if just hate and fighting and pain and just emptiness.I just jumped up and startedpunching everything. I abnged my hed against the wall so many times I passed out. Iwas in my room and i had written a suicide note.I woke up a fewhours later and everything was blurry but suddenly everything became a lot more clearI rolled overon my cod hard floor and I saw a picture of me and cory. He was my best friend and only friend for ten years. Till one day, yesterday, he as murdered. And i know who did nad i'll always know who did it. But i'll never tell...that it was me. I killed my only friend. We found his dad's gun and we were just jokin around and he pointed ti to his head and i tried to grab it off of him cause he was scaring me. I tried but my finger pulled the trigger and his brains went everywhere. I've never been s ohorrified in my life, I shot him in teh head but he didn't die instantly. His last words ot me were ''leah...why...I ...love...you..'' and he died. Just like that. I cried and cried and cried there on his basement floor. I didn't know what to do. I grabbed the gun and ran. I ran and threw it in the river. I sat there and i just felt like dyin. I just killed my only friend. the only person who ever said they loved me. I went to this guy's house that I knew.He never liked me and all he wanted to do was fuck me so I knocked on his doorand said ''I'll fuck you if you give me enough E to kill me.''He smiled and said ok. So he fucked me and the whole time al i wqas thinkin about was cory.He loved me and i killed him but then he fucked me harder and i forgot about all my pain for a few minutes.And when he was done i was about to cry. His name was John. He went and got me something to drink and I knew he spiked it but i didn't care. I just wanted to die or at least be unconscience for a while. I smoked a few blunts with him and he gave me a hell of a lot of E. I took ti all and i went unconscience for the rest of the night. I puked all over the floor and myself. I had a seisure and i started seeing things. I had a fever and a headache. I woke up the next day and he had cleaned me up. I was surprised he was nice enough to put me up in his top bunk. I was in my bra and underwear. The sun was shining in my face and i turned over and saw john sitting there. He said ''It's 4;00 are you gonna leave now er what?'' '' I just need to rest. I'm in a lot of pain.'' ''sorry about last night i mean i know all you are is a whore butI thought you was gonna die so I cleaned up your mess and tried to clean you off. Do you remeber what you told me after you smoked yor third blunt?'' ''No what?'' ''You said you just killed cory and you asked me to just kill you and take away all your pain.'' ''I did??'' I felt so sick my head hurt and everything was all blury ''well i was high i didn't know what i as talkin about.'' He came over to the bed and got close to me. his face was so close i had a hard time seeing it cause my eyes couldn't adjust. He was about to kiss me . I don't know why but he didn't and said ''get dressed i'll take you home.'' So i did. My dad ws pissed i stayed out all night and when i walked in the door he yelled ''YOu Stupid Fucking Litttle WHORE!!!!'' and he punched me in the stomach. I fell down and he kept kicking me in the ribs till i passed out. The next thing i know is i'm pointing a gun to my head. And as you know i didn't. But i had a better idea. And that was how i came to running away.
chapter 2......the chase

I packed my things, got in my car, got all the money I had to my name and that was like 2,000 bucks in the bank all saved up over the years. I got in my car and I drove to whereever . I just kept driving till I realized I allready left the state. I felt scared but happpy. I was really far. I started driving at 1:00 am and I drove straight till noon the next day. All I could think about was Cory. He was the only person in the world who cared about me. Nobody ever said they loved me. Not even my mom or dad. My dad had physically and emotionally abused me since I was 8 years old. After a while i just got used to the pain and I didn't cry no more. And my mom died a year ago in a car accident while she was drink off her ass. She's probavly fucked the whole city by the age of 15. I was born when she waws 14. Around where we lived she sold cocaine and shit. AHything she has she sold-including herself. That whore-my mom. tramp,prostitute.whatever you wanted to call it, she was.At noon the next day I stoppped at a gas station. I had cane from Pennsylvania. Penn Hills. By then I was in Marland. I had been speeding the whole way. I just decided to keep going south. When I walked in the gas station, I saw this Postcard that said ''Just keeping going straight...you never know where your gonna go.'' I thought that was sorta funny. THen i went up to the cash register and i sadi to the guy, ''Could I get a pack of ciggarettes?'' He asked to see my id and i pulled out my fake id and he said ''Allright What kind?'' ''Newports.'' So he got em for me and said, '' So your from Pennsylvania?'' ''Yeah.'' ''We don't get many people from pennsylvania in here. Especially a hot girl like you.'' '' Thanks, but I gotta go.'' '' What's your hurry? Where you heading to?'' ''I really don't know.'' ''Well why are you in a hurry? Not many people come in here. Why don't you talk to me for a while?'' ''As much as I'd like to stay and talk you don't wanna talk to me. Trust me. You don't wanna get to know me." "I know i wanna know about you. Like why do you seem so scared?" "I got a lot on my mind." "Just please come back and talk to me for a while. Come sit back here with me. I need some company and you look like you do too." "Well... Allright." So I went behind the counter and sat on the chair he said i could sit in. He said, "So what's on your mind?" "Well I just pretty much ran away and i don't know where i'm going" "why'd you run away?" "I just had a lot of problems im my life." "What city are you from?" "Penn Hills" "For real? I have a brother who lives up there." "Who?" "Well you probably don't know him. He's younger." "How young?" "15" "Oh hey I was just wondering what city is this?" It's called..." He quit talkin cuz 3 real big dark black guys walked in. "Oh shit." He grabbed a gun ( I hadn't even noticed it was there.) and he grabbed my hand and we ran out the back exit. Next thing i know is they're running after us shooting. We ran to his car and he like threw me in and he tried to start the car but it wouldn't start. "SHIT! Does your car work?" "yeah." "Let's go. Fuckin hurry!" We ran to my car all the way around the front and i got in and drove away as fast as i could. They had just came out and shot at my car but missed. I drove at least 80. I yelled at him, "What the fuck was that??" He didn't say anything he just kept lookin behind us. "Are you gonna tell me?" "Look I don't wanna get you involved." " I kinda think I allready am." "No your not. They don't know you I don't even know you" "Why did you grab me then?" " Because if i hadn't you'd be dead right now." He looked behind us and said " Allright, drive a little faster." So i did like 95 which was really bad on this car.Then he said, "Allright nevermind I thought it was them." I slowed down a little bit and said,"where are we going?" "Just get off the next exit." So I did and i went which ever way he told me and we stopped at an apartment building. He said "Wait here. Lock the doors." So I did and he came back and said, "This is where I lived So I know this place real good. Just go where i say ok?" "Allright." So I did and we stopped at a house. he said, "This is where I live now. Wait here..Look I can't go back to work or home so whereever you go I go." "Are you kidding?" "No I'm not. I have to leave this place or my ass is dead. I'm not joking. I guess I'm in this with you for now." I didn't sa anything. I didn't know what to say. He said, "Please just wait here." So i waited. He came out with a whole bag full of shit and said "Allright Let's go." So I got back on the interstate and justdrove to whereever. Neither of us even knew.
Chapter 3...........The dream

So we drove all day and made small talk in the car.But really i could see how scared he was. He told me his name was Mike and i told him my name was Leah and around 8:00 we were in South Carolina. We decided to stop and get something to eat. We went through the drive through at some Wendy's. We got out of the car and stretched.I was sore from sitting so log. We sat on the trunk of the car and ate. I was so hungry. He payed for it. And wesat on the back of the car and he said, "Ok. I'll tell ya what happened if you tell me why you seem so sad." "Well Allright." I wasn't gonna tell him I killed somebody.But he just said "Well where I lived I was dealing drugs and I had the money-like 800 $ andthey gave me the stuff and I fuckin lost it. They pulled their guns out thinkin I was tryin to rip them off. I just ran with it like a fucking dumbass and luckily i got away with it though. How I fucking lived to this day i don't know. I got shot in the chest though." He lifted up his shirt to show me the scar. "Then i had to quit my old job because they knew where i worked. So i did. And then one day the one guy's girlfriend and me were messin around at a party and she went off and told her boyfriend I tried to rape her. That was another reason he wanted to kill me Then I guess he found out where i worked and the other 2 guys he had with him were 2 escaped convicts. First time anyone had seen them in 2 years. It's been on the news and shit. One guy was in jail for murder. He robbed a bank and tried to rape some chick. They've been searching for me for liek a week and now I guess I'm jsut gonna leave everything behind. I really can't go back." "Holy shit didn't you think to tell the cops or something?" "yeah and be caught with drugs.?" "Yeah That's true.So when do you plan on telling your friends or anything?" "If my friends know where I am and they find out then what do ya think they'll do to my friends? They could kill it out of them and I could never live with myself." "Oh well don't you have any idea where the money went?" " I have no idea I fucking looked everywhere everybody and like everyhouse. It fucking disappeared." "Do you still have it?" "Why?" "Just wondered." "no." "Then where's it at?" "Home...So tell me why are you on the run?" "I'd rather not talk about?" "I told you. You said you would tell me." "well i had a lot of problems like in my head. Everyone thought I was awhore, My mom dies my step dad always beat me up. I almost died a few times. All the people I used to be friends with just ignore me now and my mom never once told me she loved me but she was at least nice and my friend cory pretty much myonly guy friend who didn't think i was a slut just died and he was like my only friend. He was murdered. He was the only person I was ever really close to and my stepdad who always beats me has been hurtin me since I was 8 years old. I'm 16 now and that's half my life and I just couldn't take it anymore. He was silent for a second. He just looked at me like in shock till he said "I feel so bad." " You shouldn't. I dont' want you to feel bad cuz of me." "I mean I don't know I can't beieve a person like you would have to go through something like that. That's terrible. Do you need a hug or something?" " A hug?" " Yeah." " I guess. I mean that would be nice." And so he hugged me and I jst felt liek so mice for a change. Cory hugged me all the time. and I just missed that He always said stuff to me like 'Girl one day everything will be okay.I promise you' But now he was dead and eh wasn't around anymore when Mike let go he said "So where did you plan on going?" " I wanted to go to a beach. And I just thougt I'd keep going south." " If you keep going south you'll probly like end up in Texas. You gotta drive on south east. It takes you through like Georgia and stuff. I know I lived there for a while. " " Well do you think we should drive some more." "I'll drive for you if you want." "Allright" So we ended up talking a little bit longer and we got back in the car and drove. We got back on the interstate and I said, "So what did you pack?" "Ya know clothes and stuff." When he said that I started looking at what he was wearing. He had on khaki baggi jeans and a faded red t-shirt. He had like brownish blonde hair sorta spiked and he was wearing a gold necklace. I said, "How much did that necklace cost you?" He looked over and smiled and said, "Only like $ 9.50." "Are you serious?" "Yeah. why?" "Why you pay so much?" "I didn't pay for it." "Who did?" " I stole it." "Oh my god. You mean you stole it from a store?" "Hell no. I stole it off some ugly rich ass guy who my x-girlfriend cheated on me with. He never found out." " I woulda done something like that too if i was you." "Yeah I know and this guy was suck an asshole too.He went out with a girl for like a day and then dumped her. I hate guys like that." "For real?" "Hell yeah I ain't like that I love girls. I don't just tell a girl I like her just to sleep with her." " If your serious then that's really cool. I don't know a lot of guys like that." "Hell yeah I'm serious. I love girls. I'm like so close with all the girls back home. All the girls where I live said I was so cute. They all talked about me and Ya know but I'm just cute." "Well you are." He laughed and was like, "Oh yeah see I told you. I'm a cutie...or...hottie...or whatever girls say." I smiled and said "Hottie; they all say hottie. No body really says cutie. Some girls sy cute like Oh my God he's so cute but we mostly say Hottie or hot." "What about 'fine'?" I laughed "Yeah we say that too but fune us only if your like hotter than hot." We both laughed. "Hotter than hot? Well then is there hotter than fine?" "Yeah...sexy." We both really laughed to that. Later in the car at like 10:00 I fell asleep. I had a dream about Cory.We were sittin on his old couch and he said, "Leah I'm in heaven and I got a chance to say goodbye." I grabbed his hand and said, "Please don't leave me i need you. I don't wanna live without you!" He gave me his warm smile and said "I promised you always one day everything will be okay. I promise it will. I'll never forget you. I hope you have a fun time in Miami. I'll always be with you no matter how bad things get, I'll always be wit you. Never forget that." Then 2 guys started taking the furniture out of his room and they set the house on fire and as the house burned he said, "Never forget I'll always be with you everything will be okay." Then he fell into the fire and I woke up and I was so sad. I realized I was holding Mike's hand and I looked up at him and then I let go and He said, "Are you okay?" "Yeah I'm allright." I turned and looked out the window and I kept thinking about the dream. I just couldn't stop from crying. I tried not to make a sound but i guess he noticed because he held my hand and said,"It's okay.It's okay. What's wrong?" I wiped my eyes but then I just thought about his warm smile and I cried. He held my hand really tight and said, "It's allright. Don't worry your okay." I eventually stopped crying and I fell asleep. Later he woke me up around 2 am. and said "Do you wanna stop at a hotel or something?" I sorta said, "Um...yeah..." So we stopped somewhere and wern't in and it wasn't too expensive. So when the guy gave us a key to the room we found out it only had one bed. He said, "That guy must have thought we...Oh my God..." We laughed and then he said "Is this allright with you?" "Yeah I guess If your ok wiht it." "Yeah if you are." "Allright" So we went back out in the car to get clothes and stuff for the next day. And when we got back I went straight in the bed and put on the tv. He went and took a shower. WHen he came out in his towel and nothing else... well ya know.

Chapter 4...............At the Hotel

He was watchin me all looking at him. I looked away real quick. I was all wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in. I was like half asleep by then and He said "Do you want something to eat?" "Like what?" "I'm bored I'm going down to the vending machine. want some candy or something?" "Allright.