After a long session with the Queen all Qui-gon wanted was to go back to his cabin and meditate. But the nagging suspicion that Obi-wan had seen something wouldn't let him. Maybe he would go and ask Obi-wan if he had received any visions. He would really prefer not to be flying blind when he arrived on Naboo. It was going to be hard enough as it was. He walked to Obi-wan's quarters but realized that Obi-wan was not in. He stretched out with the force and felt the resonation of Obi-wan's force signature coming from the small common area. He quickly turned around and headed there. He figured this might be a good chance to start bridging the gap between the two of them.
Obi-wan looked up from his light reader as Qui-gon entered the room. He nodded politely and then went back to the file that he was reading. Qui-gon slowly walked across the room and sat down at the table across from Obi-wan. He took the opportunity to look at Obi-wan with out Obi-wan noticing. Or so he thought. "Why are you staring at me?" The comment came so suddenly that Qui-gon couldn't immediately process what was said. So he replied the only way he could. "What?" Obi-wan just looked at him. "Why are you staring at me? You have been since you came into the room. Is there a reason?" Qui-gon looked down for a moment before rasing his eyes to meet Obi-wan's. "I was looking at you, because I find it hard to reconcile how you look and act now with the young boy I took as my apprentice 12 years ago." Obi-wan stared at him. Qui-gon felt the need to elaborate. "I mean you are so confident in your self. And you have grown up. It's kind of difficult for me to realize my apprentice has grown up. I mean do you have any idea what it feels like to come back from a mission to discover your padawan is going to be taking his trials and no one notified you?! It hurts" Obi-wan's expression was shuttered. But his voice was not. He looked at Qui-gon and rage bloomed in his eyes. "You dare to come and lament to me?!! You cut me out of your life 10 years ago! You told me you couldn't trust me! YOU LEFT ME! And know you are whining to me about how hard it is to deal with the fact that I haven changed! Of course I changed! I grew up! I spent 10 years in the temple KNOWING that I had been rejected by my Master! And knowing that if it were not for my connection to the Unifying Force the council would have tossed me out of the order. Try living with the constant fear that you would be expelled from the only family you have ever known. And then when I finally get to the point where I feel accepted, for me! Not what I can do for the Jedi. Not for who my master is, but myself. My Master that left 10 years ago with the statement that he couldn't trust me after what I had done, now has a child he wants to take on as an apprentice. And then I had to sit there and WATCH you give him the trust and affection you denied me!" Obi-wan took a deep breath and tried to release his anger into the force. "I understand your motives Master Jinn. And I have been very happy with Master Yoda and Master Mace. I am happy they chose to teach me. I am just sad that you never felt the way about me, that you obviously feel about Anakin."
Qui-gon sat silent through out the tirade. He had known that it had been painful for Obi-wan after he left, but the anguish he felt radiating off him was unbelievable. But as soon as Obi-wan calmed down it dissipated. Qui-gon realized that he had no idea who the Jedi sitting across from him actually was. Before he could continue that thought Obi-wan stood up. "If you will excuse me Master Jinn, I believe I will go to my quarters and meditate." With a bow Obi-wan was gone. Before Qui-gon could say what he had planned originally. He whispered it to the empty room. "I'm sorry Obi-wan...." And one by one the tears began to slip down his cheeks.
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