You know what? I'm gonna watch that new Chamber of Secrets movie... solely to bash it later on. Yeah, watch out! WB is gonna be sorry they ever had anything to do with HP after I'm done with them. Mua ha ha ha ha! Oh, and this is the chapter where I insult myself, just to show how much I hate Harry Potter.

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The Buddyship was in the mine entrance. The place was a tomb. Gimbli was crying like a girl.

Borrowedmirror: We should not have come here. Let us get out of here. We'll take the Gap of Rohan.

Gandalf: You know, you could have just said 'run', then the giant sea creature behind us wouldn't have shut the gates.

Borrowedmirror: You just have to ruin every single line, don't you?

Gandalf: It is a four day journey through the mines. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed.

Legoflamb: Yeah, especially since light like this is SO noticeable in this dark mine.*sarcasm*

The buddyship traveled on. They reached a fork in the path.

Gandalf: I have no memory of this place.

Frobo: Who wants to bet he forgot to take his pills?

Buddyship minus Gandalf: Me!

Frobo sees gollum climbing along, humming the Bell Canada theme.

Gollum: *come on, bear with me here* mm bom bom! Mm bom bom! Mm bom bom! Bom bom bom

Frobo: Oh, no, now that's caught in my head!

Gandalf: Ah, it's this way.

Sam: He's remembered to take his pills!

Gandalf: No, the air down here is fresher. If in doubt, always follow your nose.

Tucan Sam: Hey, that's my line! Get your own!

Gandalf: *blasts him away with his staff* You know, I never really did like him.

The buddyship walks down into a giant hall, but where the entrance is from there, I do not know.

Gandalf: Behold the halls of Khazad-Dum.

Samfast, son of Hamwise: There's an eye opener and no mistake.

Sam never did realize the mistake. Gimli ran over to a smaller room, which I don't know how he managed to find. Gimli started crying.

Gandalf: Here lies Balin, son of Fundin.

Gimli: Ooh, my poor, poor cousin.

Gandalf: Gimli, he was your uncle.

Gimli: Oh, who cares? He's dead!

Buddyship minus Gimli: Good riddance!

Merry walked over to a skeleton and twisted its hand. The skeleton shrieked in pain and fell down the well.

Gandalf: Fool of a Falcon! Next time chuck yourself in and rid us of your stupidity!

Rest of Buddyship: Can we help?

Drums are head. Borrowedmirror goes to the door, and an arrow lands next to his head.

Borrowedmirror: They have a cave troll.

Legolas, Aragorn and Borrowedmirror try to barrier the door. Gimli gets into a rage. The habits are forced to stay near Gandalf.

Pippin: You know, I have a strange feeling he's not going to protect us very well.

Merry: Yeah, I feel that too.

Sam: *gets out frying pan and whacks Gandalf* Well, now he can't hurt us, you know?

Other habits: Yeah.

Orcs stampeded the door, Legolas loosed an arrow and killed one. The other orcs ate up its body which only made them stronger.

Legolas: Damn!

The orcs come in, and everyone starts killing! Then the cave troll came in, and all the orcs ran in fear.

Harry Potter: Ron! Help!

Ron: Wingardium Leviosa!

Legoflamb: What are you kids doing in here? This aint no picnic!

Harry: ooh! A sword!

Aracorn: Get your own!

Ron: Ooh, a frying pan!

Sam: *scared* is there a reason why he's short and has red hair like me?

Aracorn: I think so.

Sam: *hits Ron over the head with frying pan* I think I'm getting the hang o' this!

Ron: *gets knocked out*

Legoflamb: I thought I killed you guys back at the doors!

Harry: *in deep, very fake spoken voice a la chamber of secrets* Don't worry, I will be.

Legoflamb: Hey, stop stealing the girls!

Harry: Oh yeah? Just watch me! *talks in deep, fake voice* Hermione! I'll save you!

Legoflamb: *puts head inside hands and mutters* He'll just never learn, will he? He just won't!

Aracorn: Is there a reason why those kids can beat a troll so easily and we fight with our lives?

Legoflamb: Yeah. JK Rowling is a cheap bitch.

Harry: Hey! She's not cheap! She charged me fifty bucks a minute!

Legoflamb: Woah. He actually needed a prostitute to get laid? I could smile at a girl and then wake up in bed the next morning with her.

Gimbli: Man, those elves have a gift. Stupid elves!

Legoflamb: And Gimbli, don't get me started about your desperation.

Gimbli: Yes, sir.

Borrowedmirror: Man, those kids are ugly! Look at Harry!

All: *laugh*

Harry: *hopping up and down, trying to get his wizard hat back from the troll* Hey! Mommy! He won't give the hat back!

Buddyship: Isn't his mom dead?

Ecnarf: yeah, but soon enough I'll have him killed off. But not before I break his heart! *laughs maniacly.*

WARNING! THIS IS WHERE I GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TO MY OTHER BOOK! PLEASE SKIP THIS PART IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

Harry: NOO!!! NOT RENEE!!! PLEASE!!! DON'T KILL HER!!!

Author: Sorry, kid. It's my job to make you all sad.

Buddyship: Who's Renee?

Ecnarf: A figment of my imagination. I'm starting to regret making that guy witty, smart, and handsome. In other words, me. Man, I'm starting to get jealous of a book!

Legoflamb: Umm, can I have a meeting with this 'Renee' as you call her?

Ecnarf: Sure! Hey, the more the merrier! I mean, since Malfoy's about to get her, I don't see why not! Anything for a friend!

OK, YOU CAN READ IT NOW!!!

Legoflamb: Thanks!

Ecnarf: Ok, here's her phone number address and city.

Legoflamb: France? That sounds a lot like your name.

Ecnarf: It is, idiot.

Legoflamb: Oh, I see. Let me see, what knickname can I get? Moria, airom. Gondor, rodnog. Rohan, nahor. Shire, erihs. Arnor, ronra.

Legoflamb: So she's French?

Ecnarf: Yes. Would you mind showing how it's done to HP and his friends, and then kill them?

Legoflamb: Sure! *shoots goblins, and the rest of the Buddyship joins in legoflamb thus kils the HP gang*

Frobo: *gets hit with the spear*

Sam: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Frobo: I'm allright.

Aracorn: That spear would have skewered a wild boar. Or even a human. Look!

Gimbli: *is roasting wild boar* Hey, I promised ripe meat off the bone, you'll get ripe meat off the bone.

Buddyship: *gets out dinnerware*

Harry: *is still trying to get hat away from the troll*

Aracorn: KEEP AWAY FROM HARRY!!!

Troll: *tosses hat to Aracorn*

Harry: *runs to Aracorn* Give it here!

Aracorn: A little tall for you, short man? *tosses to legoflamb*

Legoflamb: *holds hand out, Harry still can't reach it* You know, it's just not what it used to be. *tosses hat to Frobo*

Frobo: *holds hat above Harry* he really is short! *tosses to Gimbli*

Gimbli: No Dwarf is exceeded by a coward! *beheads Harry* What do you know? He's got no spine! *beheads Hermione* She's got no brain!

Sam: You know, I don't think we've got to kill the troll now. What's your name?

Troll: Uh, Cliff. I just had to get back at these guys for having me beaten so easily.

Aracorn: And we had to get them for copying us.

Troll: You know, I think I'll get those orcs to stay away. You guys had better hurry on.

Legoflamb: Hey, ecnarf! What about that deal?

Ecnarf: Oh, yeah. But on one condition.

Legoflamb: What?

Ecnarf: You turn my 'flamer' talentless from my other book into a human pincushion!

Legoflamb: Gladly! *shoots that little bitch who thinks that they are better than me, but they are not, and get the impression that I think I'm the best, but I don't think that, because Brian Jacques and Tolkien are still way better* there!

Ecnarf: Allright, Renee, come on out.

Renee: You know, I have feelings too!

Ecnarf: No you don't, you're just a figment of my imagination.

Renee: But still, why are you so cruel?

Ecnarf: That's my job. *a la bond*

Renee: *sees legoflamb* whoo! *fangirl swoon*

Legoflamb: *smiles*

Gimbli: Meat anyone?

Buddyship minus legoflamb, ecnarf and troll: Sure!

Ecnarf: It's not quite how my grandmother makes it, but oh well. I haven't eaten in a while.

Gimbli: Can anyone explain why he's in here?

Ecnarf: Oh damn! I better keep on writing! *runs away*

Pippin: Anyone got any mushrooms for on this? Tomatoes?

All: NO!

Gandalf: *burps* to the bridge of Kazalaboom!

Legoflamb: *comes back with silly grin on face, and piece of paper with random numbers on it* I'm with ya!

Gandalf: Ok, weird.

All: *runs to bridge*

Olsen Twins: *surround them, singing their annoying songs*

Buddyship: EEK! *plugs ears*

Olsen Twins: *do their stupid dances*

Buddyship: EEK! *shuts eyes*

Cliff, the troll: GO AWAY, DON'T BOTHER THEM!!!

Olsen Twins: AWW! *scamper away*

Cliff: *sees Baldrock* uh, oh, that must have pissed off the Baldrock, RUN!

Buddyship: *runs*

Borrowedmirror: *almost falls over edge*

Legoflamb: *pushes him rest of the way*

Borrowedmirror: *comes back, just because*

Buddyship: *runs faster downs stairs*

Gandalf: Run, the bridge is near! *points to bridge&*

Legoflamb: Umm, is there a particular reason why we keep on going down, and yet the bridge is level with us?

Gandalf: No.

All: *go to bridge*

Gandalf: *stops* *sees Baldrock* OH, GOD NO!!! IT'S THE COLLECTIVE FORM OF ALL THE FLAMERS!!! GAH THEY'RE UGLY!!!

Gandalf: *gets serious now* YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

Baldrock: Watch me! *tries to walk, but falls down* aaaah! *takes Gandalf down with him* tee, hee! Tell me what to do, old man!

Gandalf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! *draws in breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frobo: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! GAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDDAAAAAAALFFFFF!!!!

Legoflamb: Is there a particular reason why we say everything in flames, now?

Gandalf: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*draws in breath* OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All: *Runs along, and gets outside* *cries*

This is where we leave the Buddyship, and wait for another exciting adventure of... THE ENFORCED BUDDYSHIP THINGY OF THE THING!!!

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If you couldn't tell, yes, this person is flaming my other story. I'm starting to think she's JK Rowling or something. I don't get it, she's always calling me 'dear, dear ecnarf'. Honestly, is she hitting on me? What if it's a he? Oh, God, no!

Anyways, I hoped you like this new, exciting and painful death of Harry Potter. I'll try to make him and his cronies die every chapter. Just for fun, you know? And we'll have some surprise visits, MAYBE, by my original characters. They are not necessarily friends, but Renee here is purely fictional. And maybe other HP characters will have their turn to die.

Harry: Do you expect me to live?

Sar-On: No, Mr. Potty, I expect you to die!