Name: Queen_Gwenyvere
Email: queen_gwenyvere@hotmail.com
Title: Prologue: Something To Sleep To
Summary: Picks up towards the end of the Liason goodness we got during the 9/9 episode. What I think happened after Elizabeth stood on the stairs watching Jason look out the window. This is going to be part of a series.
Rating: G...for now.
Anything Else: The title and any lyrics I may use here in are from the song "Something to Sleep To" by Michelle Branch. Thanks to ILETUDRIVE for beta-ing and thanks to The Canvas for the transcript of the 9/9 episode.
"Anyone can break a heart," Elizabeth's words washed over him, the calmness and gentleness in her voice soothing his tempestuous soul. He had been determined not to get attached, not to care, not to be more than a friend to her. He couldn't afford that. Couldn't afford to let her get close, only to lose her because of his job. He had thought it would be easier to push her away, keep her at arm's length, and keep her safe. What he hadn't taken into account was the strength and resolve of this incredible woman who loved with her whole being and was firmer in resolve than he. Before he even realized what was happening, she had worked her way back into his heart, and chipped through the walls he'd erected to protect them both.
"No one is completely safe when you care about another person," she continued.
Damn, there went his plan. If he followed her logic, all the body guards and all the pushing her away in the world wouldn't keep her totally safe, not as long as they cared for one another. To keep her safe, he could always make her think he didn't care, make her not care for him. But he didn't lie, couldn't lie. He with held the truth sometimes, because of Sonny's orders or because of his own beliefs, but he never outright lied.
They weren't lying to one another now. She had confessed to him her one night stand with Zander, and he had told her what he'd seen, told her why he hadn't intervened. They weren't bailing. He had promised her he wouldn't, and Jason Morgan always kept his promises.
He looked at her, found her eyes sparkling with hope and understanding, and had to take a breath. "I would never hurt you on purpose," he swore.
She smiled briefly. "And that's important to me," she replied, with such sincerity that he knew in his soul that she meant it. She knew that sometimes, because of his job, he would have to keep things from her, and she had accepted that she would be left in the dark out of necessity. But she also knew that he would never hurt her on purpose. That he couldn't.
"But not enough." He reached out and tenderly brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
"Maybe it is," she told him. "If you care enough to try."
He let his hand linger at her ear, and almost unconsciously, his hand cupped her face. It seemed second nature to him, like breathing. Elizabeth closed her eyes and turned her cheek into his warm, large hand, nuzzling his flesh affectionately. She took a deep breath and sighed, sending shivers down his spine when her breath brushed his skin, its touch a butterfly's caress. He felt her resolve winning over his and he cocked his head to one side, keeping his hand on her soft cheek.
"I can respect you," he said softly. "And listen to you." Each word he made was a promise, an oath, a vow to her, and to whatever it was that was between them. "And be honest with you."
She opened her eyes, and he saw tears glistening in them. He knew she would not shed them, but he felt his thumb almost twitching, anticipating softly wiping them from her face. "Yeah," he finished. "I can try."
She smiled at him, and all the words that still needed to be said passed between them.
Jason half grinned and said, "Could you go upstairs now before Zander barges in at the exact wrong moment and I flip out and I beat him up and we start all over?"
Elizabeth laughed and pursed her lips, her eyes shining with glee. "Ok. Ok, you convinced me." She squeezed his arm affectionately and rose off the couch, letting the afghan crumple around her. He rose off the couch with her, in one graceful motion, and grabbed her by the forearm. She turned back to look at him, confused, wondering if perhaps there was more to be said. But instead he pulled her to him, took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair and shoulder. She rose on tiptoe to meet him, and held on tightly, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent. He smelled of lake water and of the antiseptic she had applied to his temple wound. He smelled of shampoo and the fabric detergent Sonny's laundress used on Jason's clothes. Elizabeth knew that Jason would sometimes would forget to eat unless reminded, so she couldn't imagine him setting aside a day to do laundry.
After a while they parted, both their bodies instinctually crying out at the loss of contact.
"Good night." Her voice was heavy with emotion.
His eyes met hers, "Good night." He watched her as she ascended the stairs, her bare feet light, barely making a sound. He saw her turn and take one last look at him as she reached the landing; before finally continuing and disappearing around the corner.
Jason let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Turning, he saw her afghan lying in a heap and he reached down, folded it, putting it to rest on the arm of his couch. Running his hands through his hair, he walked to the balcony doors and looked out upon his view of Port Charles. This was one of very few places he allowed himself to get lost in thought, allowed his thoughts to consume him. He was a creature of the night, and often thought he did his best thinking, whatever that meant, standing at this door.
He didn't know how long he stood there, staring out at the night, at the moon and stars and the twinkling lights of a sleeping Port Charles. Suddenly, though, he was aware of another presence in the room. He heard her slight frame put its weight on the landing, felt her eyes on the back on his neck, and knew she was standing in shadow, watching him watch the world.
Without turning, he said to her, "Is something wrong, Elizabeth?"
She jumped slightly, startled. Tentatively, she descended the stairs, saying, "I couldn't sleep. I didn't mean to spy on you."
Jason chuckled and turned, extending his hand to her. "It's ok," he said kindly.
Elizabeth smiled and scampered down the stairs, making Jason grin at her impish behavior. He squeezed her hand when she took his, and pulled her around in front of him. Instead of putting his hands on her shoulders, like last time, he dared settle them on her slender waist. He felt her flinch when his hands brushed against the sliver of skin that was exposed by the hot pink tank and gray flannel pajama pants she wore.
"Does this bother you?" he asked gently, praying she wouldn't say that it did.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "It just surprised me, that's all." She crossed her arms over her stomach and rested her hands atop his. She felt him step in closer to her, felt his strong body press slightly against her own. Oh what the hell? she thought and took a chance, letting her body sag ever so slightly, so that he was more or less supporting her weight. She smiled to herself when he made no move to push her away or carry her own weight.
Jason looked down at her, surprised by the bold move she had just taken. Their relationship, whatever it was, tended to be one step forward, two steps back, and Elizabeth had just taken a huge leap forward.
"Do you do this a lot?' she asked.
"Do what?" he replied.
"Stand here, at the window, staring out at the city," Elizabeth answered.
He considered this for a moment. "I do it when I don't feel like sleeping, or have a lot on my mind."
"What happened to going for rides on your bike?"
"I do that too," he said. "But when Michael was born, I didn't sleep when he didn't sleep, and he was too little to take off with me on my bike."
Elizabeth giggled, and felt Jason tense slightly, confused at her laughter. She tried to explain, "Did you ever actually try?"
"I thought about it," he answered. "But he was way too little to even try it. I'd talk to him about it and I'd read him the manual and stuff." He paused. "I used to tell him that I'd take him for rides on it when he was older."
Elizabeth looked up at him, hearing the sorrow creep into his voice. "You miss him, don't you?'
She's his yellow brick road
Leading him on
And letting him go as far
as she lets him go
He continued staring out the window, and did not answer her. He wasn't going to tell her no, because it would have been a lie, so he simply refused to answer. "Jason," she said cautiously. "Carly handed him over to you and then demanded him back. She jerked him away from you and bounced him around half the homes in Port Charles."
"He's safe with Sonny and Carly. Sonny's a good father," Jason answered stoically.
"So were you," Elizabeth replied, spinning in his arms to face him. She reached up and gingerly brushed her fingers over his wound.
"How would you know?" he asked, finally meeting her eyes.
"Bobbie used to tell me and Lucky how good you were with him," Elizabeth said, residual pain from the memory of how things once had been with Lucky briefly flashing through her eyes.
Hoping everything's the same
But everything has changed
She blinked, pushing it back down, knowing that it was a life time ago, and that everything happened for a reason. She was a different person now. She was no longer the reckless little girl searching for safe harbor. She knew she had grown into a strong and independent woman. She knew Jason only saw her as that; he didn't see her or her past, or her mistakes, or what had happened to her. He didn't pity her and he didn't coddle her. He listened to her and he pushed her to be herself, to be free. He didn't allow her to be something she wasn't just so that it would please other people. She was just Elizabeth to him. He didn't ask her to be anything else and she knew he never would.
She ran her fingers across his jaw line and down his neck, touching his shoulder before moving her hand down his arm and taking his hand in hers. She led him to the couch and he obediently sat on it. She took the folded afghan and curled up in it again, settling herself as close to him as possible without curling up against him. Jason liked his space, and if he wanted her closer, he would let her know.
"Do you miss him?" Elizabeth asked, her voice gentle.
Jason was quiet for a long time. "I don't think he really remembers me. I mean, he knows I'm a friend of Sonny and Carly, but he was too young to remember me taking care of him."
"Jason he was your whole world for the first year of his life. I can't imagine what it must be like to have someone you love taken away from you like that." Elizabeth reached out to cover his forearm with her hand.
"What about when Helena took Lucky from you?" Jason asked.
Elizabeth chortled wryly, "Which time?" When Jason didn't specify, she sighed. "Lucky was different. He was my first love, and when...when Helena took him from me, first with the fire and then when she took the memory of his love for me away, it killed me." She paused, averting her eyes away from his. "But it made me stronger. It made me who I am." She lifted her eyes back to meet his. "And you helped me understand who I've become. Please help me understand this about you. Losing a child is different than losing a lover."
"He's alive, he's safe, he's happy and he's taken care of," Jason stated, clenching his jaw.
"Did you ever think of blaming Carly for taking him from you?" Elizabeth ventured, knowing she was stepping into dangerous territory.
Jason sighed and tipped his head back, resting it on the edge on the couch. "Carly didn't take him from me," he corrected, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Robin did, when she told AJ that he was Michael biological father. That was the beginning of the end of my role as Michael's father. Robin took him away from me, not Carly. Carly only did what she had to do after Robin betrayed our secret. Sure, Carly hatched some crazy schemes, and got herself into lots of trouble, but at the end of the road, she found Sonny and Sonny adopted Michael. Michael has a mother and a father who love him."
"What about you?" Elizabeth came back to her original question.
"It doesn't matter." Jason's tone was resigned and steadfastly stubborn.
"Yes it does," Elizabeth pushed. "It does matter. Your feelings matter." She paused, taking a breath. "You know how you said earlier you would never hurt me on purpose?"
Jason nodded, unsure of where she was going with this.
"I wouldn't hurt you either. Not on purpose." She rubbed his arm slowly. "I would never betray you like Robin did."
Jason lifted his head, meeting her gaze, expecting her to look away because she was afraid she'd gone too far. What he found instead was that she looked back at him, her stare unwavering. In her eyes he could see that her heart broke for his loss of Michael, a wound he'd let scar and kept hidden, like the scar from that time he was shot and she found him in the snow. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to take care of this wound the same way she'd taken care of his gunshot wound, the same way she'd taken care of the wound to his forehead.
"I know," he replied. He pulled her into his embrace, held her against his body. She came to him willingly, wrapping her outside arm around his waist as her head came to rest on his chest, while her inside arm snaked behind his, her hand coming to rest on his neck, her finger tips lightly caressing his skin. "I know," he repeated, resting his chin atop her head.
In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to at night
Elizabeth closed her eyes contentedly, allowing herself to enjoy the moment, not knowing when the next time would come when they would get to be like this. She gave herself over to sleep, lulled by the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the reassuring thump of his heartbeat.
Jason also gave himself over to sleep, wanting to stay awake and watch her, but overcome by exhaustion, both emotional and physical. The scent of her hair, the feel of her body next to his was a soothing balm and for the first time in a long time, he felt a certain peace wash over him.
The next morning, Jason woke to the sun's rays warming his face. Elizabeth was still asleep in his arms and he smiled at her, realizing how addictive it could be, waking up with her in his arms. He brushed his lips lightly across her temple and gently pried his way out from underneath her, settling her on the couch, tucking the afghan around her.
You give me something to sleep to
And all I know is
You give me something to dream to when I'm all alone and blue
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
Quietly, he slipped upstairs to change and shower. While he was in his room changing, he got a call from Sonny asking him to bring Carly down to the docks ASAP.
Sighing, Jason put his cell phone and his wallet in his back pockets and pulled an olive green T-shirt over his head. Carrying his boots, he crept down the stairs trying not to wake Elizabeth. Sure enough, she was still sound asleep on the couch.
Jason made a quick stop in the kitchen, and found Zander sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. He had made a pot. Jason looked at him by way of greeting and headed straight for the coffee.
"She waited up for you," Zander said.
"I know," Jason replied. He did not feel like, not did he see the need to volunteer to Zander all that had transpired between Elizabeth and himself last night. Downing his coffee in several gulps, he placed the mug in the sink. Bending down to tie his boot laces he heard Zander ask, "Do you love her?"
"What?" Jason's head snapped up.
"Do you love her?" Zander asked again, looking at Jason over the rim of his coffee mug.
"That's none of your business," Jason replied gruffly, moving to tie his other boot.
"Because she loves you," Zander continued.
"You don't know when to quit, do you?" Jason snapped, coming to his feet, trying to keep his voice down. "What happens with Elizabeth and me stays between us. It's none of your business or anyone else's."
Zander sighed and finished his coffee, "You're right, it's not. I'm sorry for pushing the issue."
Jason merely glared at him, as Zander tried to bury the hatchet he couldn't even remember. All he could feel was this overwhelming feeling that he and Jason had never gotten along, and that a lot of it had to do with Elizabeth. "Look, I know it can't be easy protecting the man who had a one night stand with her."
Jason held his tongue, merely saying, "You have information that is valuable to Sonny. That is why I'm protecting you. Elizabeth asked me along time ago not to hurt you, and I promised her I wouldn't. I'm doing this for them, not for you."
With that he turned on his heel and left Zander alone in the kitchen.
Gingerly, Jason opened the closet door and grabbed his leather jacket. He walked to the door and opened it, turning to look upon Elizabeth's sleeping form. Her eyelids were clamped firmly shut, and her mouth was pursed. Jason stared at her for a few moments before calling out, "I know you're awake." She didn't move. "You can open your eyes now."
Elizabeth grinned and opened one eye, "You're no fun."
He grinned at her and left without another word.
Elizabeth stretched languidly, releasing the tension from her muscles that ached slightly from sleeping on the couch in somewhat of an awkward position. Any aching was worth it though. Now that she had fallen asleep in Jason's arms, she wondered if she would ever be able to sleep anywhere else again. Kicking off the blanket, she headed towards the kitchen, following the smell of freshly made coffee.
The view caught her attention and she paused to look out the balcony doors. The sky was overcast, the day damp and cool. She shivered involuntarily ad quickly walked back to the couch, wrapping the afghan around her shoulders. Her sense of peace of a moment ago had vanished and she suddenly couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of foreboding that had come over her. She took another wary look at the cloudy sky before heading for the kitchen, hoping a jolt of caffeine would shake her of this sudden feeling of doom and gloom.
In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
Something to sleep to
Something to sleep to at night
Email: queen_gwenyvere@hotmail.com
Title: Prologue: Something To Sleep To
Summary: Picks up towards the end of the Liason goodness we got during the 9/9 episode. What I think happened after Elizabeth stood on the stairs watching Jason look out the window. This is going to be part of a series.
Rating: G...for now.
Anything Else: The title and any lyrics I may use here in are from the song "Something to Sleep To" by Michelle Branch. Thanks to ILETUDRIVE for beta-ing and thanks to The Canvas for the transcript of the 9/9 episode.
"Anyone can break a heart," Elizabeth's words washed over him, the calmness and gentleness in her voice soothing his tempestuous soul. He had been determined not to get attached, not to care, not to be more than a friend to her. He couldn't afford that. Couldn't afford to let her get close, only to lose her because of his job. He had thought it would be easier to push her away, keep her at arm's length, and keep her safe. What he hadn't taken into account was the strength and resolve of this incredible woman who loved with her whole being and was firmer in resolve than he. Before he even realized what was happening, she had worked her way back into his heart, and chipped through the walls he'd erected to protect them both.
"No one is completely safe when you care about another person," she continued.
Damn, there went his plan. If he followed her logic, all the body guards and all the pushing her away in the world wouldn't keep her totally safe, not as long as they cared for one another. To keep her safe, he could always make her think he didn't care, make her not care for him. But he didn't lie, couldn't lie. He with held the truth sometimes, because of Sonny's orders or because of his own beliefs, but he never outright lied.
They weren't lying to one another now. She had confessed to him her one night stand with Zander, and he had told her what he'd seen, told her why he hadn't intervened. They weren't bailing. He had promised her he wouldn't, and Jason Morgan always kept his promises.
He looked at her, found her eyes sparkling with hope and understanding, and had to take a breath. "I would never hurt you on purpose," he swore.
She smiled briefly. "And that's important to me," she replied, with such sincerity that he knew in his soul that she meant it. She knew that sometimes, because of his job, he would have to keep things from her, and she had accepted that she would be left in the dark out of necessity. But she also knew that he would never hurt her on purpose. That he couldn't.
"But not enough." He reached out and tenderly brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
"Maybe it is," she told him. "If you care enough to try."
He let his hand linger at her ear, and almost unconsciously, his hand cupped her face. It seemed second nature to him, like breathing. Elizabeth closed her eyes and turned her cheek into his warm, large hand, nuzzling his flesh affectionately. She took a deep breath and sighed, sending shivers down his spine when her breath brushed his skin, its touch a butterfly's caress. He felt her resolve winning over his and he cocked his head to one side, keeping his hand on her soft cheek.
"I can respect you," he said softly. "And listen to you." Each word he made was a promise, an oath, a vow to her, and to whatever it was that was between them. "And be honest with you."
She opened her eyes, and he saw tears glistening in them. He knew she would not shed them, but he felt his thumb almost twitching, anticipating softly wiping them from her face. "Yeah," he finished. "I can try."
She smiled at him, and all the words that still needed to be said passed between them.
Jason half grinned and said, "Could you go upstairs now before Zander barges in at the exact wrong moment and I flip out and I beat him up and we start all over?"
Elizabeth laughed and pursed her lips, her eyes shining with glee. "Ok. Ok, you convinced me." She squeezed his arm affectionately and rose off the couch, letting the afghan crumple around her. He rose off the couch with her, in one graceful motion, and grabbed her by the forearm. She turned back to look at him, confused, wondering if perhaps there was more to be said. But instead he pulled her to him, took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair and shoulder. She rose on tiptoe to meet him, and held on tightly, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent. He smelled of lake water and of the antiseptic she had applied to his temple wound. He smelled of shampoo and the fabric detergent Sonny's laundress used on Jason's clothes. Elizabeth knew that Jason would sometimes would forget to eat unless reminded, so she couldn't imagine him setting aside a day to do laundry.
After a while they parted, both their bodies instinctually crying out at the loss of contact.
"Good night." Her voice was heavy with emotion.
His eyes met hers, "Good night." He watched her as she ascended the stairs, her bare feet light, barely making a sound. He saw her turn and take one last look at him as she reached the landing; before finally continuing and disappearing around the corner.
Jason let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Turning, he saw her afghan lying in a heap and he reached down, folded it, putting it to rest on the arm of his couch. Running his hands through his hair, he walked to the balcony doors and looked out upon his view of Port Charles. This was one of very few places he allowed himself to get lost in thought, allowed his thoughts to consume him. He was a creature of the night, and often thought he did his best thinking, whatever that meant, standing at this door.
He didn't know how long he stood there, staring out at the night, at the moon and stars and the twinkling lights of a sleeping Port Charles. Suddenly, though, he was aware of another presence in the room. He heard her slight frame put its weight on the landing, felt her eyes on the back on his neck, and knew she was standing in shadow, watching him watch the world.
Without turning, he said to her, "Is something wrong, Elizabeth?"
She jumped slightly, startled. Tentatively, she descended the stairs, saying, "I couldn't sleep. I didn't mean to spy on you."
Jason chuckled and turned, extending his hand to her. "It's ok," he said kindly.
Elizabeth smiled and scampered down the stairs, making Jason grin at her impish behavior. He squeezed her hand when she took his, and pulled her around in front of him. Instead of putting his hands on her shoulders, like last time, he dared settle them on her slender waist. He felt her flinch when his hands brushed against the sliver of skin that was exposed by the hot pink tank and gray flannel pajama pants she wore.
"Does this bother you?" he asked gently, praying she wouldn't say that it did.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "It just surprised me, that's all." She crossed her arms over her stomach and rested her hands atop his. She felt him step in closer to her, felt his strong body press slightly against her own. Oh what the hell? she thought and took a chance, letting her body sag ever so slightly, so that he was more or less supporting her weight. She smiled to herself when he made no move to push her away or carry her own weight.
Jason looked down at her, surprised by the bold move she had just taken. Their relationship, whatever it was, tended to be one step forward, two steps back, and Elizabeth had just taken a huge leap forward.
"Do you do this a lot?' she asked.
"Do what?" he replied.
"Stand here, at the window, staring out at the city," Elizabeth answered.
He considered this for a moment. "I do it when I don't feel like sleeping, or have a lot on my mind."
"What happened to going for rides on your bike?"
"I do that too," he said. "But when Michael was born, I didn't sleep when he didn't sleep, and he was too little to take off with me on my bike."
Elizabeth giggled, and felt Jason tense slightly, confused at her laughter. She tried to explain, "Did you ever actually try?"
"I thought about it," he answered. "But he was way too little to even try it. I'd talk to him about it and I'd read him the manual and stuff." He paused. "I used to tell him that I'd take him for rides on it when he was older."
Elizabeth looked up at him, hearing the sorrow creep into his voice. "You miss him, don't you?'
She's his yellow brick road
Leading him on
And letting him go as far
as she lets him go
He continued staring out the window, and did not answer her. He wasn't going to tell her no, because it would have been a lie, so he simply refused to answer. "Jason," she said cautiously. "Carly handed him over to you and then demanded him back. She jerked him away from you and bounced him around half the homes in Port Charles."
"He's safe with Sonny and Carly. Sonny's a good father," Jason answered stoically.
"So were you," Elizabeth replied, spinning in his arms to face him. She reached up and gingerly brushed her fingers over his wound.
"How would you know?" he asked, finally meeting her eyes.
"Bobbie used to tell me and Lucky how good you were with him," Elizabeth said, residual pain from the memory of how things once had been with Lucky briefly flashing through her eyes.
Hoping everything's the same
But everything has changed
She blinked, pushing it back down, knowing that it was a life time ago, and that everything happened for a reason. She was a different person now. She was no longer the reckless little girl searching for safe harbor. She knew she had grown into a strong and independent woman. She knew Jason only saw her as that; he didn't see her or her past, or her mistakes, or what had happened to her. He didn't pity her and he didn't coddle her. He listened to her and he pushed her to be herself, to be free. He didn't allow her to be something she wasn't just so that it would please other people. She was just Elizabeth to him. He didn't ask her to be anything else and she knew he never would.
She ran her fingers across his jaw line and down his neck, touching his shoulder before moving her hand down his arm and taking his hand in hers. She led him to the couch and he obediently sat on it. She took the folded afghan and curled up in it again, settling herself as close to him as possible without curling up against him. Jason liked his space, and if he wanted her closer, he would let her know.
"Do you miss him?" Elizabeth asked, her voice gentle.
Jason was quiet for a long time. "I don't think he really remembers me. I mean, he knows I'm a friend of Sonny and Carly, but he was too young to remember me taking care of him."
"Jason he was your whole world for the first year of his life. I can't imagine what it must be like to have someone you love taken away from you like that." Elizabeth reached out to cover his forearm with her hand.
"What about when Helena took Lucky from you?" Jason asked.
Elizabeth chortled wryly, "Which time?" When Jason didn't specify, she sighed. "Lucky was different. He was my first love, and when...when Helena took him from me, first with the fire and then when she took the memory of his love for me away, it killed me." She paused, averting her eyes away from his. "But it made me stronger. It made me who I am." She lifted her eyes back to meet his. "And you helped me understand who I've become. Please help me understand this about you. Losing a child is different than losing a lover."
"He's alive, he's safe, he's happy and he's taken care of," Jason stated, clenching his jaw.
"Did you ever think of blaming Carly for taking him from you?" Elizabeth ventured, knowing she was stepping into dangerous territory.
Jason sighed and tipped his head back, resting it on the edge on the couch. "Carly didn't take him from me," he corrected, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Robin did, when she told AJ that he was Michael biological father. That was the beginning of the end of my role as Michael's father. Robin took him away from me, not Carly. Carly only did what she had to do after Robin betrayed our secret. Sure, Carly hatched some crazy schemes, and got herself into lots of trouble, but at the end of the road, she found Sonny and Sonny adopted Michael. Michael has a mother and a father who love him."
"What about you?" Elizabeth came back to her original question.
"It doesn't matter." Jason's tone was resigned and steadfastly stubborn.
"Yes it does," Elizabeth pushed. "It does matter. Your feelings matter." She paused, taking a breath. "You know how you said earlier you would never hurt me on purpose?"
Jason nodded, unsure of where she was going with this.
"I wouldn't hurt you either. Not on purpose." She rubbed his arm slowly. "I would never betray you like Robin did."
Jason lifted his head, meeting her gaze, expecting her to look away because she was afraid she'd gone too far. What he found instead was that she looked back at him, her stare unwavering. In her eyes he could see that her heart broke for his loss of Michael, a wound he'd let scar and kept hidden, like the scar from that time he was shot and she found him in the snow. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to take care of this wound the same way she'd taken care of his gunshot wound, the same way she'd taken care of the wound to his forehead.
"I know," he replied. He pulled her into his embrace, held her against his body. She came to him willingly, wrapping her outside arm around his waist as her head came to rest on his chest, while her inside arm snaked behind his, her hand coming to rest on his neck, her finger tips lightly caressing his skin. "I know," he repeated, resting his chin atop her head.
In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to at night
Elizabeth closed her eyes contentedly, allowing herself to enjoy the moment, not knowing when the next time would come when they would get to be like this. She gave herself over to sleep, lulled by the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the reassuring thump of his heartbeat.
Jason also gave himself over to sleep, wanting to stay awake and watch her, but overcome by exhaustion, both emotional and physical. The scent of her hair, the feel of her body next to his was a soothing balm and for the first time in a long time, he felt a certain peace wash over him.
The next morning, Jason woke to the sun's rays warming his face. Elizabeth was still asleep in his arms and he smiled at her, realizing how addictive it could be, waking up with her in his arms. He brushed his lips lightly across her temple and gently pried his way out from underneath her, settling her on the couch, tucking the afghan around her.
You give me something to sleep to
And all I know is
You give me something to dream to when I'm all alone and blue
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
Quietly, he slipped upstairs to change and shower. While he was in his room changing, he got a call from Sonny asking him to bring Carly down to the docks ASAP.
Sighing, Jason put his cell phone and his wallet in his back pockets and pulled an olive green T-shirt over his head. Carrying his boots, he crept down the stairs trying not to wake Elizabeth. Sure enough, she was still sound asleep on the couch.
Jason made a quick stop in the kitchen, and found Zander sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. He had made a pot. Jason looked at him by way of greeting and headed straight for the coffee.
"She waited up for you," Zander said.
"I know," Jason replied. He did not feel like, not did he see the need to volunteer to Zander all that had transpired between Elizabeth and himself last night. Downing his coffee in several gulps, he placed the mug in the sink. Bending down to tie his boot laces he heard Zander ask, "Do you love her?"
"What?" Jason's head snapped up.
"Do you love her?" Zander asked again, looking at Jason over the rim of his coffee mug.
"That's none of your business," Jason replied gruffly, moving to tie his other boot.
"Because she loves you," Zander continued.
"You don't know when to quit, do you?" Jason snapped, coming to his feet, trying to keep his voice down. "What happens with Elizabeth and me stays between us. It's none of your business or anyone else's."
Zander sighed and finished his coffee, "You're right, it's not. I'm sorry for pushing the issue."
Jason merely glared at him, as Zander tried to bury the hatchet he couldn't even remember. All he could feel was this overwhelming feeling that he and Jason had never gotten along, and that a lot of it had to do with Elizabeth. "Look, I know it can't be easy protecting the man who had a one night stand with her."
Jason held his tongue, merely saying, "You have information that is valuable to Sonny. That is why I'm protecting you. Elizabeth asked me along time ago not to hurt you, and I promised her I wouldn't. I'm doing this for them, not for you."
With that he turned on his heel and left Zander alone in the kitchen.
Gingerly, Jason opened the closet door and grabbed his leather jacket. He walked to the door and opened it, turning to look upon Elizabeth's sleeping form. Her eyelids were clamped firmly shut, and her mouth was pursed. Jason stared at her for a few moments before calling out, "I know you're awake." She didn't move. "You can open your eyes now."
Elizabeth grinned and opened one eye, "You're no fun."
He grinned at her and left without another word.
Elizabeth stretched languidly, releasing the tension from her muscles that ached slightly from sleeping on the couch in somewhat of an awkward position. Any aching was worth it though. Now that she had fallen asleep in Jason's arms, she wondered if she would ever be able to sleep anywhere else again. Kicking off the blanket, she headed towards the kitchen, following the smell of freshly made coffee.
The view caught her attention and she paused to look out the balcony doors. The sky was overcast, the day damp and cool. She shivered involuntarily ad quickly walked back to the couch, wrapping the afghan around her shoulders. Her sense of peace of a moment ago had vanished and she suddenly couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of foreboding that had come over her. She took another wary look at the cloudy sky before heading for the kitchen, hoping a jolt of caffeine would shake her of this sudden feeling of doom and gloom.
In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
Something to sleep to
Something to sleep to at night
