This just in! Harry Potter will not die today.

All Readers: aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww! *now gets pissed* wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, Osama Bin Laden will!

All readers and George Bush: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

**************************************************************************** ***

The Buddyship were in a gloomy mood. Actually, I'm just making Frobo pay for hating the Dutch.

Frobo: Fine. To prove it to you, I'll go to one of your family barbeques that I was only joking!

Stupid Frobo! He wouldn't last one minute in a pile of guys who reach 6'5!

Frobo: I wanna be tall!

Shutup you! Anyway, they were walking along a grassy, green field when they saw a bunch of guys in turbans, and a bunch of obviously more intelligent monkeys.

Osama: Hey, Mullah! Get a load of this months Play Burqa! Whoo! *points to picture of a burqa that has mesh holes 1 ½ mm apart, instead of .1*

Mullah Mohammed Omar (the taliban leader): *gasp* The word booty is forbidden in Afghanistan! I must shove a forking stick up your ass! *shoves forking stick up Osama's ass*

Osama: OW! I'm beginning to regret hiding out in Middle Earth. We're running low on American peanut butter.

Mullah: And those elvish people don't seem to like us to well.

Monkey: *enthusiastically* ooo! Ooo!

Teacher: No, scooter, it's not time for gym class yet.

Monkey: *disappointed* ooo.

Teacher: For now, resume with your rocking and chanting class.

Students, and monkeys: Ooooosamasamasamasamasama. Ooooooosamasamasamasama.

Teacher: Now, refrain two.

Students and monkeys: Buuuuussh sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. Muuuust kill ourselvesselvesselves.

Teacher: Take five and then we'll resume whacking dummies of Bush with our forking sticks.

Students and monkeys: Yay!

Scooter: Hey, chub chub! What do you want to be when you blow up?

Chub Chub: I don't know.

Teacher: Time to come back in, class!

Scooter: But that wasn't five minutes!

Teacher: Hey, Mullah Mohammed Omar has forbidden accurate clocks. Now start whacking!

Students and monkeys: *whacks dummy labeled akje because Taliban has forbidden good spelling*

Teacher: Come on, you scum! Whack harder!

Mullah: I think you're going a little hard on them.

Teacher: Shut up!

Mullah: *gasp* such words are forbidden! I must shove a Tomahawk cruise missile up your ass now!

Teacher: Yeah, right. The Americans stopped looking for us a LONG time ago.

Mullah and Osama: Darn.

Buddyship: *doesn't know who they are* Who are you?

Osama: Your worst nightmare.

Sam: Actually, I've had worse nightmares than you. It brings back memories, actually... *starts rambling*

Legoflamb: Who are these Americans?

Osama: Stupid, ugly greedy people.

Legoflamb: Hey, Gimbli, sounds like you!

Gimbli: Do not! I live in Manitoba. There is even a town named after me!

All minus Gimbli: Manitoba! In Canada?

George Bush: Canada? What the hell is that? Some kind of food?

Gimbli: No, a country!

Dubya: I didn't know of a country called Canada. Must be some third world country with terrorists! Let's bomb it!

Vice President Dick Cheney: Big time!

Dubya: Get me my war kit! *long silence* hello?

Cheney: I quit!

Dubya: *gets his own war kit, including pretzels, water and a giant cowboy hat* Yee haw! Let's get this war started! *takes sip of water* *chokes* Dang, I should always remember to chew my water before I drink it!

Old Lady Bush: George! What did I tell you about chewing your water?

Dubya: Twenty two chews to a swallow?

OLB: Yes! Now if you can't follow that, then you can't be trusted with mashed potatoes!

Dubya: No, ma! I want ma mashed potatoes. *with a forrest gump accent*

Legoflamb: Gimbli, you sure he's not your twin?

Aracorn: Can we kill them yet?

Merry: No, I want to get Mullah's forking stick. *goes and gets it* you know, that was too easy!

Canada's PM Tim Horton: 'Ey, George! I just found out, we 'ave a Free Trade Agreement!

Dubya: *girlish scream* AAAAAAAHHHHHHH A TERRORIST! GET HIM!!!

Fighter Pilot: I see bullets! I'm gonna drop a bomb on 'em! *drops bomb*

ATT (air traffic controller): Stop! Those are friendlies!

Pilot: Oh, well. It's not like they can do anything to me, right? *long silence* Right?

Canadian people: It was him! Let's get him! *mobs in*

Dubya: Well, that was random. Hey, it's Bin Laden! *starts singing, to the tune of 'la bamba* I wanna bomb Osama! I wanna bomb Osama! Shove a Tomahawk up his ass! You better run faster. You goat humping bastard!

Legoflamb: You hump goats?

Goat: It was strictly platonic.

Gimbli: I'm starting to think this Osama guy is wanted by the Americans, whoever they are.

Legoflamb: Hey, these days, who isn't? (I put that in reference to a muslim man who was sitting in a bug infested cell in the US for NO DAMN REASON!!!) Even I could be! *gets scared*

Gimbli: Yeah, for being too attractive!

Legoflamb: *shaves off Gimbli's beard* Take that!

Gimbli: Nooo! Not the beard!!!

Dubya: *takes cork gun and shoots Osama* Where's the cream filling?

Osama; *struggles* must... die... in... comic... book... guy... death... position... best... death... ever!

Buddyship: *kills dubya with their own weapons, as follows*

Sam: The ancient art of frying pan.

Frobo: by using Stinge.

Merry and Pippin: Toxic mushrooms.

Legoflamb: Two words: Giant arrows.

Borrowedmirror: A spork.

Aracorn: by looking at him the wrong way.

Gimbli: By just looking at him.

Buddyship: Ok, onwards! *narrowly misses bomb dropping behind them, killing everyone*

Aracorn: We must reach the woods of lothie... lorie... wait, I can say this... *slowly* lothlorien. Ok, better!

Borrowedmirror: *mutters to himself* and they call him the King of Here and Gone Door?

Aracorn: I heard that!

Borrowedmirror: No you didn't! *glares at him*

Aracorn: Ok, ok I didn't!

Borrowedmirror: *under his breath* wimp.

Aracorn: I heard that too!

Borrowedmirror: You know, I'm really getting tired of you.

But by that time, they had entered Lothlorien, and Gimbli was getting very cautios...

Gimbli: Stay close young hobbits.

Hobbits: *gather close* *realize he stinks pretty bad, and move away*

Gimbli: They say a great sorceress lives in these woods.

Frobo: Who says that?

Gimbli: They do *points to a few guys, and waves.*

Guys: *wave back*

Gimbli: Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the ears of a hawk and the eyes of a hawk. *arrow points in his face.*

Sam: Obviously, foxes don't see too well. *arrow points in his face* um... help, Mr. Frobo?

Legoflamb: *is seen pointing on arrow at the elves surrounding him* TRY AND STOP ME! HAHAHAHA! *arrow points in his face* dang!

Aracorn: Haldir of Lorien. We come seeking your protection.

Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back.

Aracorn: Isn't it the Lady of the Light? I mean, its her bloody name, light lady.

Gimbli: Oh yeah? Well, in the words of Baldrock, watch me! *tries to run away, but is stopped by a hedgehog who has fallen off of a tree and has impaled itself on his spikes*

Hedgehog: Um... ow?

Gimbli: I should remember to follow good examples from now on.

So then the Buddyship heads on into the inside of Lothlorien, or called Lorien, but was shortened from its original name. I mean, lothlorien is quite a mouthful to begin with.

Celebore: Where is Gandalf the Gay? For I much desire to speak with him.

Lightlady: He has fallen into Shadow.

Celebore: Oh, darn.

Lightlady: But don't worry. You may rest here tonight.

Celebore: Oh, yeah! We can stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I'm makin' WAFFLES!

Buddyship: Cool!

So they Buddyship had their first official sleepover. And all the HP haters will now hate me, because I didn't have a gruesome death for Harry Potter this time. Don't worry, though. In the second last chapter (because I'll make fun of the credits for the last one) I'll have JK confess ALL, and I mean ALL of the things she copied. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I mean it, it's going to be a hot day in hell!

And I hope you mean 'tightness' in a good way. Oh, yeah. They finally found out what happened in the Friendly Fire incident that killed four Canadian soliders. All I can say: it's about bloody time. PEACE!