Ok, all, sorry bout the wait, I was in Kingston over the weekend. I went there on a trip with Gifted last June, and I got very nostalgic driving through the Queen's campus and at Fort Henry. Worse than Ottawa, let me tell you.

Oh, and an update on my soon to be Harry Potter bashing parody. All the characters have funnier, dumber, more insulting ec-names. (ecnarf names)

(Harry Potter) Harry Pothead- none of this is real. He's just smoking some weird shit, and he imagines it.

(Colin Creevey) IP Freely- don't ask. Just don't.

(Ron Weasley) Runs Easily- that can mean two things. He's a coward, or he needs some ultra maxis with wings.

(Voldemort) Vall-mart. Two things are guaranteed. You will be seduced by his "Lucius Malfoy, aisle five" and will be met by a greeter!

(Albus Dumbeldor) Albus Doubledork- I borrowed this from Mad Magazine, but just to praise them on a name well done. He sent Harry to live with the Dursleys. Is it just me, or is his wizard hat on too tight?

(Gilderoy Lockhart) Gilderoy Blockhead- he's so stupid, he gets his students to do his work. And why is he in the defense league and the order of merlin, which is a giant hoax?

(Dobby the house elf) Dolly, the house sheep. Expect legoflamb to insult him, and he's a cloned sheep, sterile and has arthritis!

(Minerva McGonagall) Minnie Magonoughall- the name just looks sick, doesn't it? Headmistress and creepy dame!

Hermione Granger: Hermhiny Stranger- strange... very strange. Expect a lot of snootiness from her.

Severus Snape: Severely Snapped. Also, from Mad Magazine. I mean, they just kick ass, don't they?

Draco Malfoy: Dragodermic Malformed. No matter what he tries, he can't stop dressing like a woman!

Padma Patil: Padme Potty-mouth. I know, JK copied that from Star Wars!

Parvati Patil: Pastrami Potty-mouth: Again, my heritage and love for Italian food comes through!

Crabbed and Boiled: They do enjoy seafood, don't they?

Gorge and Fed: Might as well face it, they're addicted to love! (and food)

Chamber of Secrets: Room of Rumours. So many rumours. Hmm... *gasp* Slithersnakes dress in pink bunny pajamas and do disco every Friday night?

So I hope that's got you guys hooked. I know that's not all, but hey! Pretty good! I'm going to that movie with a notepad and pen, and writing down EVERYTHING!!! Or try to remember it. Yeah, piss off everyone within earshot. So, in this chapter we have:

The Delissio guys, Harry Potter bashing, legoflamb taking a bubble bath in the mirror of Lightlady, and telling off Borrowedmirror for asking about the lament to Gandy!

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The Buddyship were in a flat piece of land in Lothlorien. Legoflamb was walking in a daze, walking with a candle.

Legoflamb: a lament to Gandy...

Borrowedmirror: What do they say?

Legoflamb: I don't know, it's just a bunch of random words, allright?

Borrowedmirror: Ok, can we get back to our drinking game?

Celebrity: yes! So, who's got a secret to tell?

Aracorn: *reads newspaper* look at this survey. It says that teenage boys would rather cuddle with their girlfriends than have sex with them.

Legoflamb: Yeah, what a load of crap! I don't even need a girlfriend!

Ecnarf: you've got that right. I mean, I thought that a figment of my imagination would be a little more strong minded than that, but a shelf is a shelf! (shelves are elves!)

Celebrity and Gimbli: *play ping pong*

Gimbli: *misses shot intentionally* whoops! I think I'll have to take another drink for that! *downs a shot of vodka* ah, that's the stuff!

Celebrity: If you keep doing that, I'll never get any!

Gimbli: Your point is?

Lightlady: *walks in*

Celebrity: Tie up that hair! Loose hair means loose morals!

Lightlady: What's your point? *purrs*

Celebrity: *realization dawns on him* oooh! Hey, wait! No prostitution in my neck of the woods.

Lightlady: Hey, its my wood!

Celebrity: *dissapointedly* oh.

Aracorn, legoflamb and me: *talk about the girlfriend thing, though I'm not really there and am single, hint hint to the ladies*

Harry Potter: *walks in* yeah, I know! Me and Hermione NEVER cuddle, just go for the goods!

Ecnarf: What girl would ever go out with YOU? I mean, I could pick up a girl faster if I wanted!

Harry: Yeah, that's saying a lot.

Ecnarf: yes, it is, dumbass! I mean, look at you! You're short, scrawny, have stupid glasses, are a social reject, Cho won't go out with you and you are incredibly ugly!

Harry: I see you've been looking in a mirror lately.

Ecnarf: Don't make me come down there! *zaps him with a bolt of electricity*

HP: YAAARRRGGHH!

Ron: Did he just say he and Hermione are together?

Hermione: I'm sorry Ron! Look, I wanted to tell you sooner, but you were so busy looking for a girl to look past your incredible ugliness and acne you wouldn't listen!

Ron: *gets very mad, and kills Hermione, and finishes off Harry*

Legoflamb: You know, I always knew that kid would turn out to be some good. *shoots him anyways* *searches for change* *finds piles of gold* hey, why does he have money? Aw well, he's better off dead and looted, anyway.

All: Amen to that!

Lightlady: I hope you guys don't mind, but I let the mafia stay over here tonight.

Mob guys: *walk in, and sit down*

Don Cortino: You had pizza delivered here?

Joey Fazone: It's not delivery it's delissio.

Don Cortino: You're bein' a wise guy. This is delivery.

Joey Fazone: It's not delivery it's delissio.

Pascuali Parmesan: Frankie Delissio?

Franky Tomatto: I think I saw him with your sister *to Jimmy Bartelli*

Jimmy: *grunts*

Back to the Buddyship...

All: Guh?

Lightlady: Hug!

All: What?

Lightlady: Hug, it's guh backwards!

All: Oh.

Lightlady: ho.

All: *are silent*

Lightlady: *is silent, but backwards*

Borrowedmirror: Drinking games, anyone?

Ecnarf: -

Lightlady: France!

Ecnarf: What?

Lightlady: France! It's ecnarf backwards!

Ecnarf: *with mob accent* Jimmy. This lady here does not know when to quit. Her youthful looks and glimmer have served her well. And she gets rewarded with a nice, cool, Vanilla Coke.

Jimmy: *hands her some white powder*

Ecnarf: No, you fool! The OTHER coke!

Jimmy: *grunts, and hands her the Vanilla Coke*

Lightlady: *drinks, and gets a silly grin on her face, probably from being high*

Ecnarf: Glad you like it.

Lightlady: Well, I let them stay, and I get a free Vanilla Coke! Yay for me!

Frobo: Can I look in a mirror? I'm getting five o'clock rust!

Lightlady: Follow me. *sees legoflamb in mirror* Oh, for the love of *trails off* Did you HAVE to do that right now?

Legoflamb: Yes, I did. Now, Frobo, if you'd leave us in privacy...

Frobo: Don't you mean if WE would leave YOU in privacy?

Legoflamb: Yeah, sure, whatever, kid. *winks at lightlady*

Lightlady: *she's high, remember* hee hee!

Ecnarf: *remember, I'm not really there* reminds me of last June. Went to play mike a round of pool in the Jack Astor's bar. Don't know what happened, because I was high for weeks! And what WAS I thinking? *bangs head on imaginary tree* must... get... thoughts... out... of... head! Damn, no amount of head banging will make me forget that. Some weird shit, I mean, I started thinking strange thoughts that NIGHT, and then for WEEKS I couldn't stop being happy.

All: *don't hear what I'm saying*

Ecnarf: Yeah, that happens a lot. Oh, and my friend Stephanie was wondering if I put her bf (my friend, and her former friend) neil in it. (Its her turn to be happy now) or Vincent. We'll torture Vincent for his stupidity.

Vincent: Ow, ow, stop hitting me! *girlishly* Ow, ow! Quite elbowing me in the face when I'm vulnerable!

Ecnarf: Mua ha ha! I can't get in trouble for this! Ha ha! *keeps hitting vincent* I love my life! Well, in the books, anyways. My real life sucks great big donkey balls. Pardon mon francaise, vous anglais parlezers! Harry Potter is a morceau du merde! Merde, merde, merde!

Gimbi: *all Canadians in the house, remember Molson's thing for 'bubba') beer, beer, beer, beer, b-b-b beer, beer, beer, beer, b-b-b beer, beer, beer, beer! OH, when we get together, there's quite a lot of cheer! Imagine finding meat! That calls for a beer, beer, beer, beer, b-b-b beer, beer, beer, beer!

Ecnarf: Something tells me he's found meat.

Borrowedmirror: Me too.

Ecnarf: Wait, that means we get meat AND beer!

All: YAY! *eat the meat and drink beer, and get drunk*

Ecnarf: Teehee! I'm so hammered!

Lightlady: Hey, you mind NOT leaning on my car?

Ecnarf: That's not a car! Here, puppy, puppy.

Lightlady: I thought you were a cat person!

Ecnarf: I am! And isn't legoflamb missing you right now?

Lightlady: Whoops, sorry folks! Gotta run! *runs off*

And so the Buddyship had their first official sleep over! Actually, it was an all nighter, but you get the idea. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and next chap, the second last, we get JK's confessions! Huzzah!