EVA Gear Solid 1.5
Chapter 5: How to take Tokyo-3 as a hostage
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Metal Gear Solid, Gundam Wing, or Love Hina, or Dragonball Z. I know what your thinking. 'Gundam Wing? Love Hina? D-ball Z? What the heck?' Just read on, you'll see soon enough.
Snake was chillin' like a villain at Kensuke's house, reading a book. Kensuke, Touji, and Shinji were watching TV. Just then, Snake put down his book. "Hey Kensuke, where IS your dad, anyway?"
"He's off at some archaeological dig. It's something top-secret, and something for NERV, that much I know."
"Hmmm…"
Meanwhile… at a certain archaeological dig on the side of a certain mountain in a certain Tokyo-3, Kensuke's father shouted in triumph.
"YES!!!"
A giant crane was lifting up a big black mecha. It was gigantic, almost as big as an EVA, and had huge mechanical wings, not much different from bat wings. It held a long staff in one had that looked like a blade extended from the end. Gently, it set it down next to what appeared to be a gigantic opaque ice cube. One of the other workers walked up to Kensuke's old man, holding a printout.
"Genma, do you realize what this is!? It's amazing! I thought these things were destroyed years ago!"
The bespectacled man spoke.
"I can't believe it… The Gundam Deathscythe! This is amazing! This must be what NERV sent us out here to find!!"
"Lets dig around some more! Maybe we can find another one!"
Suddenly, a boy clothed only with one of those tiny Japanese bath towels ran by, looking very scared. The two excavators could only watch as the towel-clad boy began to scale the giant black mech. Just then, 5 girls ran by in the same direction as the boy. One of them shouted,
"Urashima! You get your skinny butt back here to I can properly KICK IT!!!"
From up high on the mech, the boy shouted back, terrified. "N-N-Naru! I didn't mean to do it, honest! Please don't kill me!"
Then, suddenly, the giant black mech began to tip. It started slowly, but rapidly picked up speed as it fell backward; the weight of the boy offsetting its balance. Genma Aida had only a moment to notice where the mech was about to land. Right on a box of N^2 grenades. The N^2 grenades they were using to blow out the chunks of rocks. As the Mobile Suit hit the ground, the subsequent explosion blew it to pieces, sending the Urashima boy flying.
"WAAAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"
The five girls ran off after him. Genma only sweatdropped. Just then the foreman noticed a fog had come over the area.
"The ice cube! It must have melted!!"
Running over to the place where the ice block sat, he found something completely different. It was another gigantic mech. It wasn't as tall as an EVA, but from his vantage point, it was nothing short of menacing. It looked somewhat like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. On its left arm, there was a radome, and on the right, an enormous rail gun. The Gatling guns on either side of its head seemed to stare back at him, ominously. It was painted a dull army green, and it reflected the sunlight as the fog lifted.
"I understand now… This must be… the one."
"Metal Gear REX-B."
"It was cryogenically frozen, and when the N^2 grenades went off, it must have produced enough heat to thaw it out…"
"We'd better inform the commander that we've found it."
"You'll do no such thing, Aida."
"What the…"
Genma turned around to find the barrel of a revolver pointed straight at his forehead. The man who held it was a Russian, no doubt. His long silver hair was tied back in a ponytail and his outfit resembled that of an old pre-Second Impact western. As the fog cleared further, the other excavators and workers noticed the situation, and began to run to them. However, the sound of the revolver being cocked halted them in their tracks.
"Thanks to that stupid boy, my REX-B is finally thawed out. This was too easy…"
Spinning the foreman around, he grabbed him by the neck and dragged him toward the REX, the revolver still cocked, loaded and pressed against his temple. Then, in a feat of almost superhuman agility, he leapt up onto the head of the behemoth mecha. Pulling a lever, the jaw dropped open, revealing a cockpit. Saluting to the men below, he yelled mockingly.
"Thanks for your hospitality, comrade…"
"Who are you!?"
Turning menacingly, he stared down at the man.
"I am… Ocelot. Revolver Ocelot. And I need this more than you ever will."
With that, Ocelot jumped into the cockpit, the jaw slamming shut after him. A whining noise came from within the great machine, and it jolted forward as it stood to its full height. It was like a monstrous dinosaur being awoken. Leveling its railgun at the ammo dump it fired a round. The place exploded in fire as REX began running down the mountain.
Meanwhile… back at Kensuke's house…
"Snake… did you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
"Felt like the earth gave a small jolt…"
"I didn't feel anything."
"Hmmm…"
Back in REX-B…
The Russian spoke into a radio.
"REX hijacking is completed, sir."
A voice crackled over the intercom.
"Did you take care of the excavation site?"
"Blew it away. There are no traces, only a crater."
"Good. Look farther down the mountain. There will be a cave. I've set up some equipment to house REX until we initiate our plan's final phase. That includes the nuclear-equipped railgun ammunition…"
"Understood sir. I see the cave entrance now."
"Leave REX there and proceed to the next phase of the plan. Over-and-out."
"10-4, sir."
Later that day…
For the first time in ages, the Katsuragi household was quiet. The only sound that resonated throughout the apartment was the creak of a shower faucet being turned off, the pattering of water changing to silence. That is, save for the clicking of the front door. Slowly, the door opened without so much as a creak. The figure stepped inside. Scanning the doors, he opened one of them and went inside. He noticed a pair of earphones lying on the bed. Just then, suddenly, the intruder felt a bump from behind his leg. Looking down, he saw a small penguin trying to squeeze past his leg into the room. Smiling evilly, he grabbed the penguin, clamping its beak shut, and running out of the house, shutting the door behind him with a click. Just then, Asuka walked out of the shower, hearing the click of the door.
"Huh? Shinji is over at the stooge's place, and Misato is at work, so who could that have been? At least that silly penguin keeps quiet. Where IS Pen-pen, anyway?"
Back at REX's cave…
Ocelot looked at his handiwork. The small penguin was tied up, duct tape holding his mouth shut.
"Hmm… Not much of a hostage, but it will have to do."
Taking a phone out of his coat pocket, he spoke.
"We've got the hostage. The stage is set…"
"Excellent. That was faster than I expected, Shalashaska. You are indeed skilled. Stay there, and keep the hostage ALIVE. I need to make a few preparations."
"Understood, sir."
"WARK!!"
"Huh? Ocelot, what was that noise!?"
"Oh, um… it's the hostage."
"Well keep him quiet, will you?"
"Yes, sir. Ocelot out."
Turning to look at the trussed-up penguin, he shook his head.
"What kind of hostage is this…?"
"Wark!"
"Oh, shut up, will you!?"
"WARKWARKWARKWARK!!!"
"Why… Why did I capture a penguin…"
"WAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRK!!!!!!"
At NERV Headquarters, Misato's head jerked up, her eyes wide.
"Did I just hear… Pen-pen!?"
Omake Theater (The Chibi-wars!)
:Chibi-Goku is sitting on the floor, playing with a SS Goku action figure.:
Goku- Kamehameha! Hahahahaha…
:Suddenly, the Chibi-Gundam boys run in, lead by Heero:
Heero- Lookit the dweeb!
:The Chibi-G-boys whip out their respective Gundam action figures and smash the SS Goku figure:
Goku- WAAAHHH!!!
:The Chibi-G-boys plop themselves down, playing with their Gundam action figures.:
:Suddenly, Chibi-Solid Snake runs in, smoking a candy cigarette, a Nerf dart pistol holstered on his leg.:
Goku- Who are you?
Snake- Snake. Solid Snake.
:Snake whips out a canister of spray coolant, and sprays it in Goku's hair.:
Goku- HAAAAAAAH!! HELP ME!! Ooo, pretty!
:Goku starts braiding his hair like Duo Maxwell, when it promptly freezes in place. Goku tries to undo it, but ends up ripping out a large portion of hair.:
Snake- Hahaha! Take this!
:Snake smashes the Gundam figures with a 2-foot tall Metal Gear REX action figure. Running back out the door, he turns and speaks.:
Snake- Oh yeah… one more thing-
:::POING:::
Snake- Gundam sucks! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
:The poing was from Chibi-Snake's Nerf dart gun, the dart sticking Heero right between his eyes. As Snake runs out, the Chibi-EVA kids run in, seeing the other Chibi-G-boys trying to pry the dart off Heero's head, while Heero lies petrified on the ground.:
Chibi-Asuka- Mein Gott! What on earth happened here!?
:Chibi-Shinji thinks for a minute, the classic MGS Question Mark(TM) appearing above his head. Suddenly, the Question mark shatters as a Nerf dart flies through it. Another whizzes by Rei's head.:
Chibi-Eva Kids- SNAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!
:Snake's cackling can be heard outside, and the EVA kids chase after him, the MGS Alert Buzzer(TM) sounding in the background as the MGS Escape(TM) song begins playing.:
FINALLY!! I know, this was a short chapter, but it was Shalashaska's entrance. And the main tension-builder of the story. Also, sorry to keep all you EGS fans waiting for this chapter, but school has been a pain in the butt. Anyway… BUM-BUM-BUMMMM!!! The protagonist of the story finally shows himself!! What diabolical schemes does good ole' Shalashaska have brewing for Tokyo-3 and NERV? And whom exactly is Ocelot working for? Well, the man on the other side of the radio, of course. But, who is the man on the other side of the radio, you ask? Well… that's a secret.
The suspense is building! The tension is rising! Find out what happens next on EVA Gear Solid 1.5, Chapter 6!!
Till the next upload…
Gundams falling on N^2 grenades are never a good thing. Unless you're Shalashaska.
~Beanster the Terrible
