Whee, hee! I'm back, and ready for more! I have just realized: I should
be more proud of this book than my other one (besides the obvious reason):
everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has said this is either funny, good good,
LOL, or something like that. I have also checked many of your profiles
(yeah, I'm Canadian, and therefore legally bound to caring and being funny)
and have found MANY, or almost ALL of you guys have added this to your
favourites list! Go me!
Hold on, let me pinch myself *pinches self* am I getting praise from daniLOTHlorien? My favourite and funniest author? I'm not dead, am I?
Good, I'm still alive. I just got flamed in my other story by a complete bitch. Go figure. Oh, and after my HP bashing fic, we will have TTH: The Two Hours in the movie theatre. And after that: title to be released. I hope you guys realize how much your support has meant to me. I'm sorry I have to end this fic so soon. This is the second last chapter, but it'll be good. Oh, I swear it will!
****************************************************************************
The Buddyship were in their fancy Lorien Kevlar Canoes Lightlady just gave them.
Sam: Ooh, pretty rope! Thanks for the gift!
Pippin and Merry: Ooh, magical mushrooms!
Borrowedmirror: Ooh, hair grease!
Aracorn: Ooh, a razor!
Frobo: What the hell? A piece of glass? *squints* made in China?
Legoflamb: Ooh, Herbal Essences! (sorry, fangirls, I couldn't resist) Wait, no, here! A shiny new bow! And bubble bath bubbles!
Gimbli: Hey, I got to look upon the Lady of Haldir again.
Haldir: WHAT?????
Lightlady: Hmm. I still have Gandalf's hair brush. Gave it to me in the Second Age, and still hasn't come back for it.
And so the Buddyship traveled down the Anduin river for several days.
Aracorn: *nudges frobo*
Frobo: *doesn't move*
Aracorn: *nudges harder*
Frobo: *still doesn't move*
Aracorn: *picks Frobo up, dunks him under water, and brings him back out, smacking his face*
Frobo: *still doesn't move*
Aracorn: Frobo.
Frobo: *wakes up* huh?
Aracorn: Look. The Argonauts! Long have I desired to look upon the Grey Cup winners of old.
Argonauts (yes, Doug Flutie, don't deny where you came from!): *stand there*
Frobo: Who are they? What are they? Where did they come from?
Aracorn: They are Doug Flutie and Pinball Clemens, the most famous of the Toronto Argonaut players. They come from Canada, a cold and deserted land inhabited by monkeys like Stockwell Day, and Alanis Morisette.
Frobo: Who?
Aracorn: Oh, never mind.
And so the fellowship passed by the Toronto Argonauts, who still have to share a stadium with a baseball team. Good thing the Raptors moved out, or we'd be in trouble. And soon they landed on the western shore.
Legoflamb: We should move out. I sense something approaching.
Aracorn: No, the Eastern Shores are patrolled by Olsen Twins.
Legoflamb: I have a shadow of doubt growing in my mind.
Aracorn: Legoflamb, that's just your hair growing too dense.
Legoflamb: I know, I've been meaning to get it cut, but the girls won't love me any more.
Aracorn: Eh, there's too much emphasis on looks these days. That's why Anna Nicole Smith can't go on TV during daylight hours.
Legoflamb: Yeah, you're right. Wait! My spidey sense is tingling!
Spidey: Hey, get your own supernatural sense!
Legoflamb: Ok, my Shelvish sense is tingling! I sense great evil coming here! *looks around* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legoflamb: IT'S JK ROWLING!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JK: What? Am I that ugly?
Buddyship: YEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!
JK: You know, I just wanted to escape from those stupid fans trying to weasel every piece of information out of me for the next book. And now you guys. What a day.
Legoflamb: Shut up! You disgrace my people with your stupid house elves!
JK: So I did. What else?
Legoflamb: Well, you also copied the giant spider thing from Shelob, and IT (suddenly, Stephen King pops out) and you invented the book by Wizard of Oz style, you were high on drugs when you did it (guy who wrote that pops out) you invented the sad, depressed little boy with no life from Ecnarf (I pop in my human form) you also copied the red haired girl from Anne of Green Gables (Lucy Maude Montgomery pops out) and you copied Ron from Sam (Sam walks closer) and you copied 'dumbledore from Tolkien, and an old english book (some old english teacher pops out) and you anger the church by putting in witchcraft (the Pope pops out) and you copied the giant snake from Redwall (brian Jacques pops out) and you copied the sword thing from BJ as well (now the Abbey warriors pop out) and you copied that beginning scene in Goblet of Fire, well the style, anyways, was copied from Tolkien, and you copied your naming style from Tolkien, and you copied goblins from Tolkien and.. *is interupted*
Christopher Tolkien: Yo! Will you stop copying my dad! (Richard Simmons' pop out)
Simmons: shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! *wields his crappy exercise bar*
Legoflamb: and you also horribly misconstrued the word witch and warlock (that old english teacher becomes madder) and you teach kids to break rules (angry parents pop out) and you copied house elves from elves from Tolkien, and you suck at putting humouor in the books *Wayne and Shuster, Royal Canadian Air Farce, the cast of this hour has 22 minutes, including Rick Mercer and Colin whatshisname, and the cast of Red Green pop out)
Harold: Hwaaaaaaaaaah! (sorry, Canadian humour)
Legoflamb: (all people from Just For Laughs pop out, which is a lot) AND Lucius Malfoy looks just like Haldir of Lorien (Haldir pops out) and Dumbledore is a mix between Saruman and Gandalf (they pop out) and all your spells are copied from Latin (Julius Caesar pops out)
Caesar: Salad, anyone?
Legoflamb: AND your 'polyjuice potion' makes absolutely no grammatical sense (old english teacher gets even more angry) and you centre your book around one little boy, which is very hoggish (a young, kindergarten teacher pops out, and spanks her) and you make the book to easy to make fun of (the MAD people pop out) and you copied 'Longbottom' from Tolkien (Chris gets even more pissed) and you fail to mention Italy and Netherlands in the Quidditch World Cup (ecnarf gets VERY pissed) and you use enough plot devices to make James Bond look like a Mac user (James Bond pops out) (Mac president pops out) and you ..
JK: can you stop yet?
Legoflamb: NO! *gasps for breath* and you copied the 'whomping willow' from Tolkien (chris is really mad now) and you make really gay books, which is an insult to gay people (gay people pop out) and you copied the word Padma from Padme from Star Wars (George Lucas, Luke, Darth, and Yoda pop out)
Yoda: Copying leads to angry people. Angry people lead to stress. Stress leads to suicide. Once you commit suicide, no longer will you have a mob of fans. Ooh, Yada needs water!
Luke: Use the force, Yada!
Dark Vapour: Look (luke), I am your father.
Look: No I'm not.
Legoflamb: AND you also wasted five minutes of our lives! You will pay!
All (and I mean ALL): *get real pissed*
Legoflamb: *shouts* ok, HP haters! Start you JK severing devices! (all hp haters pop out, and wield their letter openers)
All popped in people : *wield their blades*
Buddyship: (wield their weapons, as described in past chapters)
All: GRR!
Legoflamb: Allright, everyone! Three, two, one, SLICE!!!
All: *Slice JK into a million pieces, accidentally killing hundreds of Richard Simmons', not that it matters, and Borrowedmirror*
Sam and Frobo: *comically skipping across the water, from a few minutes ago, trying to get away from the sight of JK*
All: Take that!
At this point, the comedians are starting to create hilarious punch lines.
22 minutes, Rick Mercer: *points to a petition* we, as the Canadian people, demand that JK Rowling change her last name to boring. (Yeah, yeah, its been done)
Air Farce, Colonel Stacey: And that's Chicken Cannon news! (I guess you have to watch it to get it)
Others: Make general funny statements, which you can mentally enjoy.
Readers with imagination: Ha ha haaaaaa!!!
All popped in people : *pop out*
Pope: *stays* I hope you realize dat you 'av rid de world... of a great evil. You should be commended. *pops out*
Remaining Buddyship: Wow, praise from the pope!
Aracorn: *sees borrowedmirror dead* NOOO!!!
Borrowedmirror: I would have stabbed you in the back. My archnemesis. My insubordinate. My slave.
Aracorn: Good he's dead. I hated him anyways. I didn't want to see such a beautiful horn wrecked.
Gimbli and Legoflamb: YAY!!!
Legoflamb: Hey, where'd Merry and Pippin go?
Aracorn: Probably went insane from Richard Simmons song.
Gimbli: Then the Buddyship has failed.
Aracorn: No. Not if we stay true to each other. We shall not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and exercise. Come on. Let's go hunt some exercise freaks!
Meanwhile, in my head.
You know, you gotta wonder. This last scene was actually the beginning of the two towers. And yet here they have it at the end. But they made the right choice. It's better this way.
Meanwhile, with Sam and Frobo.
Frobo: More and Less Door.
Sam: Yep.
Frobo: You don't suppose we'll ever see the others again?
Sam: Yep.
Frobo: Are you gonna say the same thing over and over?
Sam: Yep.
Frobo: Do you think you could get a brain transplant?
Sam: We may yet, Mr. Frobo. We may yet.
**************************************************************************** ****
Well, there it is. The last official chapter of the Buddyship of the Thing. Next chapter: the credits! I'll post up all the reviews to date, so if you got something to say, please be nice.
You guys helped me so much, and I hope you'll tune in to the last chapter. Sniff... my first completed fic already. Well, not yet. It's like graduation. Yeah, we'll all get laid. Yippee!!!
Hold on, let me pinch myself *pinches self* am I getting praise from daniLOTHlorien? My favourite and funniest author? I'm not dead, am I?
Good, I'm still alive. I just got flamed in my other story by a complete bitch. Go figure. Oh, and after my HP bashing fic, we will have TTH: The Two Hours in the movie theatre. And after that: title to be released. I hope you guys realize how much your support has meant to me. I'm sorry I have to end this fic so soon. This is the second last chapter, but it'll be good. Oh, I swear it will!
****************************************************************************
The Buddyship were in their fancy Lorien Kevlar Canoes Lightlady just gave them.
Sam: Ooh, pretty rope! Thanks for the gift!
Pippin and Merry: Ooh, magical mushrooms!
Borrowedmirror: Ooh, hair grease!
Aracorn: Ooh, a razor!
Frobo: What the hell? A piece of glass? *squints* made in China?
Legoflamb: Ooh, Herbal Essences! (sorry, fangirls, I couldn't resist) Wait, no, here! A shiny new bow! And bubble bath bubbles!
Gimbli: Hey, I got to look upon the Lady of Haldir again.
Haldir: WHAT?????
Lightlady: Hmm. I still have Gandalf's hair brush. Gave it to me in the Second Age, and still hasn't come back for it.
And so the Buddyship traveled down the Anduin river for several days.
Aracorn: *nudges frobo*
Frobo: *doesn't move*
Aracorn: *nudges harder*
Frobo: *still doesn't move*
Aracorn: *picks Frobo up, dunks him under water, and brings him back out, smacking his face*
Frobo: *still doesn't move*
Aracorn: Frobo.
Frobo: *wakes up* huh?
Aracorn: Look. The Argonauts! Long have I desired to look upon the Grey Cup winners of old.
Argonauts (yes, Doug Flutie, don't deny where you came from!): *stand there*
Frobo: Who are they? What are they? Where did they come from?
Aracorn: They are Doug Flutie and Pinball Clemens, the most famous of the Toronto Argonaut players. They come from Canada, a cold and deserted land inhabited by monkeys like Stockwell Day, and Alanis Morisette.
Frobo: Who?
Aracorn: Oh, never mind.
And so the fellowship passed by the Toronto Argonauts, who still have to share a stadium with a baseball team. Good thing the Raptors moved out, or we'd be in trouble. And soon they landed on the western shore.
Legoflamb: We should move out. I sense something approaching.
Aracorn: No, the Eastern Shores are patrolled by Olsen Twins.
Legoflamb: I have a shadow of doubt growing in my mind.
Aracorn: Legoflamb, that's just your hair growing too dense.
Legoflamb: I know, I've been meaning to get it cut, but the girls won't love me any more.
Aracorn: Eh, there's too much emphasis on looks these days. That's why Anna Nicole Smith can't go on TV during daylight hours.
Legoflamb: Yeah, you're right. Wait! My spidey sense is tingling!
Spidey: Hey, get your own supernatural sense!
Legoflamb: Ok, my Shelvish sense is tingling! I sense great evil coming here! *looks around* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legoflamb: IT'S JK ROWLING!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JK: What? Am I that ugly?
Buddyship: YEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!
JK: You know, I just wanted to escape from those stupid fans trying to weasel every piece of information out of me for the next book. And now you guys. What a day.
Legoflamb: Shut up! You disgrace my people with your stupid house elves!
JK: So I did. What else?
Legoflamb: Well, you also copied the giant spider thing from Shelob, and IT (suddenly, Stephen King pops out) and you invented the book by Wizard of Oz style, you were high on drugs when you did it (guy who wrote that pops out) you invented the sad, depressed little boy with no life from Ecnarf (I pop in my human form) you also copied the red haired girl from Anne of Green Gables (Lucy Maude Montgomery pops out) and you copied Ron from Sam (Sam walks closer) and you copied 'dumbledore from Tolkien, and an old english book (some old english teacher pops out) and you anger the church by putting in witchcraft (the Pope pops out) and you copied the giant snake from Redwall (brian Jacques pops out) and you copied the sword thing from BJ as well (now the Abbey warriors pop out) and you copied that beginning scene in Goblet of Fire, well the style, anyways, was copied from Tolkien, and you copied your naming style from Tolkien, and you copied goblins from Tolkien and.. *is interupted*
Christopher Tolkien: Yo! Will you stop copying my dad! (Richard Simmons' pop out)
Simmons: shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! *wields his crappy exercise bar*
Legoflamb: and you also horribly misconstrued the word witch and warlock (that old english teacher becomes madder) and you teach kids to break rules (angry parents pop out) and you copied house elves from elves from Tolkien, and you suck at putting humouor in the books *Wayne and Shuster, Royal Canadian Air Farce, the cast of this hour has 22 minutes, including Rick Mercer and Colin whatshisname, and the cast of Red Green pop out)
Harold: Hwaaaaaaaaaah! (sorry, Canadian humour)
Legoflamb: (all people from Just For Laughs pop out, which is a lot) AND Lucius Malfoy looks just like Haldir of Lorien (Haldir pops out) and Dumbledore is a mix between Saruman and Gandalf (they pop out) and all your spells are copied from Latin (Julius Caesar pops out)
Caesar: Salad, anyone?
Legoflamb: AND your 'polyjuice potion' makes absolutely no grammatical sense (old english teacher gets even more angry) and you centre your book around one little boy, which is very hoggish (a young, kindergarten teacher pops out, and spanks her) and you make the book to easy to make fun of (the MAD people pop out) and you copied 'Longbottom' from Tolkien (Chris gets even more pissed) and you fail to mention Italy and Netherlands in the Quidditch World Cup (ecnarf gets VERY pissed) and you use enough plot devices to make James Bond look like a Mac user (James Bond pops out) (Mac president pops out) and you ..
JK: can you stop yet?
Legoflamb: NO! *gasps for breath* and you copied the 'whomping willow' from Tolkien (chris is really mad now) and you make really gay books, which is an insult to gay people (gay people pop out) and you copied the word Padma from Padme from Star Wars (George Lucas, Luke, Darth, and Yoda pop out)
Yoda: Copying leads to angry people. Angry people lead to stress. Stress leads to suicide. Once you commit suicide, no longer will you have a mob of fans. Ooh, Yada needs water!
Luke: Use the force, Yada!
Dark Vapour: Look (luke), I am your father.
Look: No I'm not.
Legoflamb: AND you also wasted five minutes of our lives! You will pay!
All (and I mean ALL): *get real pissed*
Legoflamb: *shouts* ok, HP haters! Start you JK severing devices! (all hp haters pop out, and wield their letter openers)
All popped in people : *wield their blades*
Buddyship: (wield their weapons, as described in past chapters)
All: GRR!
Legoflamb: Allright, everyone! Three, two, one, SLICE!!!
All: *Slice JK into a million pieces, accidentally killing hundreds of Richard Simmons', not that it matters, and Borrowedmirror*
Sam and Frobo: *comically skipping across the water, from a few minutes ago, trying to get away from the sight of JK*
All: Take that!
At this point, the comedians are starting to create hilarious punch lines.
22 minutes, Rick Mercer: *points to a petition* we, as the Canadian people, demand that JK Rowling change her last name to boring. (Yeah, yeah, its been done)
Air Farce, Colonel Stacey: And that's Chicken Cannon news! (I guess you have to watch it to get it)
Others: Make general funny statements, which you can mentally enjoy.
Readers with imagination: Ha ha haaaaaa!!!
All popped in people : *pop out*
Pope: *stays* I hope you realize dat you 'av rid de world... of a great evil. You should be commended. *pops out*
Remaining Buddyship: Wow, praise from the pope!
Aracorn: *sees borrowedmirror dead* NOOO!!!
Borrowedmirror: I would have stabbed you in the back. My archnemesis. My insubordinate. My slave.
Aracorn: Good he's dead. I hated him anyways. I didn't want to see such a beautiful horn wrecked.
Gimbli and Legoflamb: YAY!!!
Legoflamb: Hey, where'd Merry and Pippin go?
Aracorn: Probably went insane from Richard Simmons song.
Gimbli: Then the Buddyship has failed.
Aracorn: No. Not if we stay true to each other. We shall not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and exercise. Come on. Let's go hunt some exercise freaks!
Meanwhile, in my head.
You know, you gotta wonder. This last scene was actually the beginning of the two towers. And yet here they have it at the end. But they made the right choice. It's better this way.
Meanwhile, with Sam and Frobo.
Frobo: More and Less Door.
Sam: Yep.
Frobo: You don't suppose we'll ever see the others again?
Sam: Yep.
Frobo: Are you gonna say the same thing over and over?
Sam: Yep.
Frobo: Do you think you could get a brain transplant?
Sam: We may yet, Mr. Frobo. We may yet.
**************************************************************************** ****
Well, there it is. The last official chapter of the Buddyship of the Thing. Next chapter: the credits! I'll post up all the reviews to date, so if you got something to say, please be nice.
You guys helped me so much, and I hope you'll tune in to the last chapter. Sniff... my first completed fic already. Well, not yet. It's like graduation. Yeah, we'll all get laid. Yippee!!!
