Disclaimer: See previous chapters
Scott took a deep breath and lifted his hand to knock on Lauren's door. When he finally did, it was only seconds before she answered.
"I'm glad you came, Scott. This is kind of important."
"Lauren, after what happened last night, there was no way…"
"I know, I know. Oh, Scott, what an awful thing we did."
"Awful?"
"Yes, we are adults, teachers. We tell our students never, ever to do something like that, and there we are doing it, never stopping to think about what the consequences will be."
"Consequences?"
"Yes, consequences, Scott. We had sex in your apartment, and we never stopped to think about…"
"Lauren, are you this upset because we weren't careful, or is there something else?"
"What else could there be?"
"Oh, I don't know, guilt? Fear?"
"Fear? What do I have to be afraid of?"
"Of someone finding out what happened between us. Of Steven linking your absence and my tardiness together in some way. Of Harry's reaction…"
Lauren's face dropped at the mention of Harry's name, and Scott, as he always does, picked up on it immediately.
"That's it isn't it? Harry? You are afraid of how our night together will affect your relationship with Harry?"
"No, Scott. There is no longer a relationship, and even so, last night was…"
"Magic. I never thought being with a woman in that way, don't you see that we are perfect, Lauren?"
"No, Scott. I don't know what to see right now. I'm so confused. I talked to my brother, Daniel, the only member that I really feel close to, he dated someone he worked with, and now they are married with two kids and another due any day now. It works out for some people, Scott, it does. Right now, there are so many things I need to work out, things that I never felt before, things that I should feel that I don't…"
"What kinds of things Lauren?"
"I know that all I should want to do right now is hold you, and no matter how much I may want to do that in my heart, my head is telling me to tell you to leave and that we have to continue as we were before."
"Is that what you want?"
"I don't know. I want you to stay and I want you to leave, and I love you for how wonderful you made me feel last night, and I hate you for how vulnerable you make me feel. But most of all, I'm scared Scott, I'm not like you. You, you're never scared of anything…"
"Me, I'm scared of everything. I'm scared that last night was a mistake, I'm scared that I might loose any chance that you and I had, but most of all I'm scared that if nothing comes of last night that you will never be able to come to me again and talk to me without the tension and the memories, and if that happened, if we lost that friendship, there would be such emptiness inside that…"
He stopped. She was silently walking towards him, her blue eyes burning with passion and with regret.
"My feelings are all over the place, Scott, all over the place. I don't know if I'm coming or going and I hate that feeling. The holidays are coming up and I want to use that time to sort things out. I'm not saying that there will never be and us, Scott, I'm saying that I can't deal with an us right now."
"So this is it. We make love and now you want to forget about it and move on?"
"I didn't say that. I need to settle things in my mind and over the vacation, I'm going to do that, and when school resumes after the New Year, I'll let you know where things stand. I'm sorry, Scott, last night was wonderful, for both of us, but I'm very confused right now, and I have to do what's best for everyone, and right now, I think that remaining friends is the best thing for us to do. I'm sorry."
"Well, I'll be going then. I'm sorry if I did anything last night that I shouldn't have done. Merry Christmas, Lauren."
"Merry Christmas Scott."
Scott straightened his spine and walked out the door. Lauren left her hand on the knob, trying to keep the presence of him with her. Tears fell down her cheeks. She'd hurt him, that was evident, but all she could think of was how much more she would hurt him if she didn't think this through. Part of her wanted to hold him and make love with him, and another was forcing her to keep her head, and unfortunately, the keep your head part was winning.
Lauren was going stir crazy. She left the apartment and strolled around the streets of Boston. She didn't want to go home and remember that night so she walked for hours trying to clear her head.
After a while, she had to use the restroom. The Kwik-E-Mart was still open so she turned her steps in that direction. She hadn't been inside for more that a few seconds when she was suddenly grabbed from around the waist, thrust against the hard body of a tall male. Lauren was frightened, she almost screamed, however she could not muster the breath once she felt to cold metal tip of a gun be pressed to her neck.
