Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 and everything in it, Squaresoft does.
~My Song to You~
Chapter Four: Nobody wants to be Alone
The sound of different objects hitting against the white paneled wall filled the dark cramped up room, which was supposedly Balamb Garden's main office. Which was home to Squall Leonhart. The hero, the mighty lion that saved the world from time compression, the cold one, the...man who was a mess, who's face filled with no hope but sorrow.
He dropped his tired body onto the couch behind him, his ice blue eyes scanning the mess he had just made. Papers scattered around, shards of glass, little bits and pieces of objects that couldn't be identified, and some pens and pencils scattered about. To anyone, it didn't look like a powerful man's office. More like a teenage child's messed up room.
Squall Leonhart sighed. Out of the many sighs he let out in a day, this one felt rather comforting. A bottle of beer was in one hand, while the other was hanging lazily over the arm rest of the white leather couch.
I hate you...
He couldn't believe the emense anger building inside him as he smashed the bottle of alchohol against the wall infront of him.
The grass is greener
On the other side
We take people for granted til they're
Out of sight
The lost young man closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead in frustration. I still don't understand....I don't understand. I don't. Why? Why did you leave? You simply disappeared.....do you know...how afraid I am? I don't know why I'm afraid...I'm afraid that maybe it was all my fault. Was it my fault? That you left me without saying good-bye? Did I not love you enough.....? Did I not treat you well enough? You wanted more...and I couldn't give it all to you. Is that it?
He groaned. Stop talking to yourself idiot. The bitch is gone, it's not your fault, it's her fault....Yet deep inside he felt unsure of the words spinning in his head. He hated how one side of him still...supported her . While the other half of him was at least sensable and knowing reality and that she was the one who left him, and that was that.
Yet after all these years, he hadn't found another. No other could catch his heart, no other could..replace her role in his life...and that was what he hated. He felt weak. Why Rinoa? Why can't you leave me alone? Is it not enough that you taunt me in my dreams and reality, that you want to cling onto my memories and nag at me? Why..why are you always there...you left me, but why...are you still in my mind? What are you trying to do, sorceress? Do you want me to waste away and the last things for me to think of is of you? You're just a little girl...you can't control my life, but look what you did to it already. I was wrong...I'm the weak one...I've always been.....haven't I? The little boy all alone.....sitting there, waiting. I'm always the one waiting. For Sis..for you. For you to come back, but you won't. Because you hate me don't you? That doesn't matter, I hate you too.
Squall threw his head into his hands. He couldn't stop thinking, he couldn't stop the menacing voice in his head. He was lost, and he didn't know what to do.
Love, such a lonely place
Nobody wants to be alone
To have the world but no one to share it with
It was Saturday morning, the rain had stopped, leaving moist green grass and sparkling streets, as a young woman opened her eyes to greet the new morning.
For moments she stayed still, staring at the ceiling with her big almond chocolate eyes. So full of emotion and passion, yet longing at the same time.
She finally sat up, her long raven hair cascading down her. It wasn't completely straight, with a slight curl at the tips of it, though she remembered very well the time she had her hair straight.
Another day...to face...She thought as she stood infront of her mirror and frowned at herself. Her delicate hands gripped around her cream colored brush as she untangled her locks of hair. Yet after two strokes she sighed and placed the comb down, walking idly to the window facing the back yard of the mansion.
"Hello world, it's me." She greeted softly and got no response. An emptiness welled up inside her as fresh round tears built up in her eyes.
She quickly left the window and sat down on the peach colored carpet, her knees pulled up to her chest.
Why is life unfair. Why did it have to be me...why? She tried to stop herself from asking the same questions over and over again, but she couldn't hold back her frustration. Her head started pounding, yet it hadn't been so fierce since two weeks ago.
She groaned as she doubled over onto her back as her body felt extremely hot, as if she burned. She screamed, no one would hear her anyways.
Her soft voice turned into a deeper and louder one, one she couldn't stand. Her eyes flashed from her rich brown to a dark maroon and then purple. No. Was the only word that spun in her head.
She clutched her fists onto her bed sheets but they melted away from her hands. She quickly let go of anything and ran into the bathroom, splashing her face with cold water.
Her heartbeat slowed as she felt the burning sensation die down. She raised her eyes to the mirror, and was relieved to see her usual color.
I get so lonely
Thinking about you
And she let herself cry.
"Squall!" A young man wearing a cow boy hat tapped at the double door leading to the office of Balamb Garden. "Squall!" He yelled again.
He could hear a groan from inside and he frowned. "I'm knocking this door over if you don't-" Yet he was interuppted by the opening of the door, and the headmaster of Balamb Garden staring at him with unfocused hazel eyes.
Irvine frowned, he was use to seeing Squall in the state he was now, but he didn't know why recently Squall seemed to be getting worse and falling into a deeper state of depression.
Squall said nothing, but continued to stare ahead of him, and Irvine couldn't help but yell, "Damnit Squall! The garden needs you don't you get it?! If their headmaster is a piece of junk, what's gonna happen to this place?! Huh?"
There was silence, until finally he responded. "....Nothing."
Irvine sighed, "Ok, I just came by to tell you that Galbadia Garden sends an invitation to you, the headmaster, and some of his guests to attend the garden's anniversary dinner."
Squall smirked, much to Irvine's surprise since it was probably the first time he saw Squall's expression change in a long time. "Just get Quistis to go. Or you."
Irvine crossed his arms. "I would love to go, but they mainly want to invite you don't! We gotta stay on good terms with Galbadia! Even I have the brains to figure that out."
"You've always had the brains," Squall muttered back groggily.
Irvine turned to leave. "You're going Squall, even if you don't want to." And then he walked off.
Squall retreated back into his room, to lazy to close the door to his office. "Galbadia....." He murmered to himself as he fell asleep sitting infront of his desk.
Selphie jumped into a sitting position ontop of the cafeteria table that Quistis occupied. "I've come up with an idea!" She said thoughfully.
Quistis raised an eyebrow. '"And that is?"
"Maybe we should get Squall to take some meditating lessons you know? To calm his soul?" Selphie placed a finger under her chin.
The blonde instructor sighed and rolled her sapphire her eyes. "Dear god Selphie! We need intellegient ways to help Squall."
"But it could work!" Selphie frowned.
"Yes, but do you think Squall would be willing to go along with it?"
Selphie blinked, "Well unrealistically yeah, but realistically no."
"Exactly," Quistis uncrossed her long legs and stretched her arms. "So did you hear from Irvine?"
"Yeah, he went to tell Squall about the dinner party," Selphie took a proper seat across from Quistis. "He said he didn't exactly reply."
Quistis gazed into the bottom of her cup and sagged her shoulders in disappointment. "He really isn't getting any better."
"That's why we have to get him to go! He hasn't seen the world in ages," Selphie frowned, which was unusal for a cheerful girl like herself. "Oh Quisty!! What if Squall never gets better..."
"Don't say that," Quistis snapped and then sighed. "I'm sorry Selphie, I didn't mean to sound harsh."
"No, I understand," Selphie gave a small smile. "Yeah, Squall will get better! Right?"
Quistis smiled meekly back. "Yes...Squall will get better." She finished off with confidence.
