Welcome Home

A/N: I'm warning you now: some people will be strongly offended. Please take my story with a grain of salt. Please.


Bob stopped outside the door, his hear pounding. He tried desperately to slow his rapid breathing before he entered the office, to organize his thoughts.

It had been hard in the web. He had waited a year, survived a year in a harsh environment to get back to her. He shouldn't be so nervous now.

"Come on, Bob. You can tell her." He opened the door, thoughts of sweeping her into his arms...


Dot looked up from her files as the door opened, angry that whoever it was hadn't knocked. The boy that stepped through had long hair and a scarred face. He wore silver armor with a bright, gold icon at the centre of his chest.

This description in itself rang no bells, but still she recognized him. He smiled charmingly as he walked towards her.

"Dot Matrix?" She nodded mutely, and he continued to walk forward until they were milimetres apart. She was breathing audibly, her lips parted. He leaned in close to her face, lips nearly touching. "I've been meaning to tell you..." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body to his. "...I'm deeply in love with you."

She leaned up and kissed him, returning his embrace, giving the occasional small noise of enjoyment. A need for dominance flaring, Bob deepened the kiss...

The fantasy ebbed as he entered the office, eyes closed with nervous tension. With a million webslugs in his stomach, he looked up. And blanched.

Dot was not alone in her office. Bob noted this as his eyes followed the lilac hand travelling up her thigh. The hand stopped it's upward journey at an opportune place on her chest, but Bob's gaze did not. He glanced to her face, jaw dropping, wondering if he were still imagining a scenario, watching helplessly as it spiraled out of control. The soft lips he had pictured against his own were instead opened against the lips of a very familiar hacker...He could hear the soft sounds they made. Bob let out a small, involuntary, strangled noise.

Instantly, the females leapt apart, staring in horror at the door. Dot's horror went to disbelief, to amazement, and back to its original position once again. Her mouth opened and closed several times.

"Bob?" she gasped. The blue sprite nodded numbly. Dot and Mouse exchanged a glance, and Dot cleared her throat. She straightened her outfit, lifted her head, and extended her hand. "It's...good to have you home."

Bob dumbly shook the hand of the sprite he had crossed the web and faced many dangers for. Even through the haze of disbelief, he couldn't help but speculate about the possibilities.


A/N: Since I warned you, you're not allowed to tell me what a sicko I am. Besides, it was a parody of all the fics where Dot and Mouse are more than friends. I just thought it'd be kinda funny if Bob chose that moment...Anyway, you know the drill. Review!