AN: Fun, fun, fun. This is all because I don't have the time to sit down and write another long one with a plot and sense and characterisation....

Spoilers: Season 4-ish.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is an original MGM, Greenburg/Anderson, Gekko, Top Secret, Kawoosh! production. Any material relating to Stargate SG-1 is for entertainment only, and is in no way meant as an infringement on copyrights. In other words, I own nadda.

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Sam was of the opinion that she was being really, really clever. Not astrophysicist clever, no, not this time. Naquadah reactors, particle accelerators were nothing compared to the feats of cunning she was pulling off that night. That night, Sam was avoiding the worst damn thing she could think of.

Socialising.

Sam wasn't really a people person. From an early age, she'd learnt that people came and went and the only person who stayed constant was herself. She would always be around, so each time her father was transferred, Sam could say goodbye to whatever town or city they were leaving behind, safe in the knowledge that while she may be leaving whatever tentative friends behind, she would always have herself.

Therefore, what with college, the academy, being a woman in what was still essentially a man's world following a male dominated career path, Sam really didn't have all that time to get out much and, frankly, didn't really feel the need too. On top of that, saving the world every week sure took a lot out of you and when she was on downtime, and she actually took it, she really liked to crash out at home, watch some TV, maybe visit her family. Nothing too strenuous.

Nothing like this.

Tonight, Saturday night, was the First Annual NORAD and SGC Dinner and Dancing Event. Special guests included a number of senators, some really pompous generals and the President who'd dropped in for the first twenty-five minutes and then snuck off.

Sam wished she could sneak off. Then again, she didn't have to fly to the UK to meet with the Prime Minister.

As far as she could see, everyone in the room was trying to out-classify each other and as she was currently hiding behind a screen of fake potted trees, she was able to hear several amusing (from an outsider's point of view) conversational snippets.

'' - of course, that's classified.''

'' - but then, you know, if I told you that, I'd have to kill you. I'm not kidding.''

'' - I didn't have a childhood. In fact, I'm not even here.''

'' - I'm going by Dr James P. Terry tonight. And you are?''

Sam would just love to tell someone what she did. I work for a secret military organisation that kicks alien ass every other week and by the way did you know we're at war with a parasite species who want to turn us all into hosts? No? Oh, is that champagne....?

Actually, it was champagne and Sam was desperately thirsty but knew she couldn't have anything. Luckily for SG-1, yesterday's mission had been a complete and total disaster in ways which only SG-1 could achieve. Sam was on so much medication that if she took one sip of alcohol she'd probably keel over.

Which would, on the other hand, get her out of there.

Hmm.

Decisions, decisions.

Sam had yet to see the Colonel, or Daniel, in fact. Teal'c had, naturally, got out of the event through sheer Jaffa luck. Damn. Maybe she ought to invest in an alien physical trait. A nice gold emblem in the middle of her forehead would certainly bring attention to her eyes.

Oh, that was a point. Must check make-up.

Nabbing a teeny, tiny itty bitty sandwich from a tray, Sam made her way to stand in the queue for the ladies. She stood there for probably all of three minutes before she decided that there was bound to be a mirror somewhere in one of the corridors around the hall where the fancy reception was being held. Smiling politely at the women standing around her, Sam snuck out of the queue and headed down the hallway.

It was far quieter away from the hallway, which helped the mild headache Sam had been sporting all day as an after effect of being thwacked around the head with a staff weapon. She had the biggest bruise under her hair - hence her hairstyle. Thank God the 'mussed' look was in or she'd be in real trouble. It had been hard enough putting on a dress with a bodice that pushed and pinched over ribs that were freshly bruised without having to comb her hair over a lump the size of Texas.

Sam turned a corner, checked behind her, and carried on walking, her heels - not pinching yet, but she was sure she had that to look forward too once the dancing started and she'd be forced to stand up with generals who remembered her from when she was a little girl - softly clipping on the dark blue carpet. She could hear murmuring, and she wondered if some of the staff had snuck out back here to smoke or drink in the little rooms. She peered through the port hole to one of the rooms on the right and saw what appeared to be a conference room.

The murmuring increased until it became talking, and the talking became chatting and the chatting sounded really, really...

She opened a door.

.... familiar.

'' Why the hell didn't you come and get me?'' she demanded crossly.

Four men turned to look at her, eyes wide, mouths open mid-speech. Then they all looked sheepishly at the floor.

'' Sam! Hi! You look great,'' Daniel effused, smiling at her. '' We didn't know you'd arrived.''

Sam put her hands on her hips. '' It's half past nine, Daniel. The buffet's been served already. What, did you think I was going to ignore Hammond's express orders to be here on time or else?''

'' Well, to tell you the truth, Major,'' Davis said in placating tones, '' we were just deciding who was going to go and look for you, and Dr Fraiser, when you came in.''

She decided to be big and not wind them up further. Besides, she quite wanted to take in how they all looked. Simmons and Davis looked, of course, poster perfect in their tuxes, no creases, no marks. They'd probably rented them for the evening, though Davis might well own his since he was a Pentagon lacky and they were used to these things. Daniel's tux, on the other hand, was slightly dishevelled. He'd taken off his bow tie, undone his top shirt button, rid himself of his cummerbund and his shoe laces were untied. She couldn't help but smile goofily at him. He was just so adorable.

But Colonel O'Neill?

Another matter entirely.

Sam didn't consider herself aggressive when it came to men. In fact, she would say generally she was fairly oblivious to men. Oh, she knew when she was attracted to them. Oh boy did she know. Depending on the man, her reaction would range from quiet admiration to HolyHannahishelookingatmehe'slookingatmeHolyHannah! To give an example, Martouf had been at the beginning of the scale. The quiet attraction. Ironic, really, considering Jolinar's reaction to him had been at the other end of the scale. For Sam, the only man who really made her toes curl and her insides muddle was Colonel O'Neill.

Hopefully, he didn't know that. The way that she'd watched her words during the zay'tarc retesting had assured her of the remaining confidentiality of her true feelings.

Anyway, he was looking decidedly yummy. His tux was all intact, just worn with the kind of casualness that made it sexy. Like he'd just thrown the tux on with minimal effort and it wasn't really bothering him all that much. His hair was it's usual mess, which really only added to the appeal, and then of course there was his eyes. Sam was a real eyes girl. It was the first thing she noticed and the first thing she committed to memory. If anyone asked her, she could give in minuscule detail the colour of eyes of every single one of her boyfriends from age fifteen upwards.

Deciding it probably wouldn't be best to pounce on him, like her libido was laughingly suggesting, Sam looked around the room that her work friends had sequestered. Again, it was probably another conference room. There was a projector screen pulled down at one end and at the other a projector was set up. Daniel, the Colonel, Davis and Simmons were all sitting on or at the table in the middle of the room.

'' Are there slides in that thing?'' Simmons wanted to know, managing to meet Sam's eyes. She didn't think he'd ever recovered from the day when Daniel had accidentally let slip that he thought Simmons had a crush on Sam. Poor boy.

Sam wandered over to the projector and looked in. '' Oh. Yeah,'' she said in surprise, pulling one and holding it up to the light. '' General Thade.'' Why was he wearing... were those tartan golfing trousers?

'' Who?''

'' One of my father's comrades,'' she murmured thoughtfully, frowning and sliding the slide back in line. Frankly,, the last time she'd seen General Thade had been about ten years before, but she didn't recall that he'd worn outlandish clothing. She picked up another and held it to the light as well. And got a shock. '' Oh boy.''

'' What?'' Colonel O'Neill hopped off the table and came to stand next to her and just because he smelt nice was no reason for Sam's stomach to suddenly do a somersault. He took the slide from her and held it up. '' Wo-ho-hoa!'' He whistled in delighted shock. '' What the hell is this?''

By now, everyone wanted to know what was going on.

'' Why don't we just run this shall we? Davis, hit the lights.''

'' Er, sir...''

'' Carter, not a word. I'm going to have some fun at this thing whatever the cost and if looking at sneaky pics of all those assholes out there is it, then that's the way it's going to go down.''

Sam sighed. '' Is that an order, sir?''

He narrowed his eyes at her. '' Are you making sure you won't get in trouble for this, Carter?''

'' Yes, sir.''

His smile was wide and genuine. '' I like the way you think, Carter, really, I do.''

Primly, Sam went and took a seat at the table, secretly dying to see what else was on those slides.

'' Lights off,'' Davis said, flicking the switches against the wall. The room plunged into darkness, the only source of light coming from under the door.

'' Spooky,'' Daniel murmured. '' Jack? What are you doing? Get a move on.''

There was a clicking noise, then a whirring. '' It just needs to warm up first. It's the same brand of projector we had in high school, which says a lot, really. We could be hear for years. Anyone got any good ghost stories?''

Sam rolled her eyes. She heard him start to move around and turned to watch his shadowy form walk towards her. The chair beside her, really close beside her, was pulled out and he sat down, tapped his fingers impatiently on the table.

Davis spoke up next, '' Major Carter?''

'' Yeah?''

'' General Battersea was looking for you earlier.''

Well, she knew that, didn't she? It had been the main reason for her hiding behind the potted trees. '' Really?''

'' Yes. He was really quiet anxious to see you.''

She just bet he'd been.

'' Sam?'' Daniel inquired in a suggestive tone of voice. '' Something you'd like to tell us?''

'' He's sixty if he's a day!'' she squeaked. Damn, Majors in the USAF didn't squeak. What had she been thinking?

She could not only hear, but she could also feel, Colonel O'Neill softly laughing next to her. '' What's age got to do with true love, Major?''

Sharply, she turned to look at him. Maybe it was the dark, maybe it was the closeness, but she didn't feel particularly like being respectful. '' You can't see, but I'm glaring at you right now.''

If anything, this made him laugh harder, still in that soft, breathy way that the hairs all over her arms and back of her neck standing to attention.

'' I'm not sure he was looking for the Major for himself,'' Davis said, and instantly condemned himself to purgatory in Sam's eyes.

'' Oh?'' Daniel asked.

When would that damn projector start working? Sam wondered, panicking. Now she was tapping her fingers on the table.

'' He had his son with him.''

She scrunched up her face. And waited.

Colonel O'Neill leaned forward and got, if possible, closer to her. '' Major? Why would General Battersea want you to see his son?''

She turned her head again and this time, this time, her lips brushed against some part of his face. Totally by accident. Really. Completely by accident.

But he didn't move away.

And neither did Sam.

The projector suddenly whirred into action. Behind her, the screen lit up but she only knew that because she could see a tiny square of bright light reflected in his eyes. She saw what she'd accidentally almost-kissed only moments before. Just to the right of his mouth.

'' Holy Christ!'' Daniel whooped behind her. '' I know him... God, what's his name? General... General...''

'' Fuller,'' Davis put in.

'' Wearing a maid's outfit! Oh this is priceless. Jack? What the hell are these?''

'' I don't know, Daniel. Keep watching,'' Colonel O'Neill said clearly and every single word brushed against the corner of Sam's mouth.

She sighed ever so slightly. The corner of his mouth turned up just a little. Sam parted her lips, she saw his eyes dart down to look at her mouth, and, mischievously, Sam slid her tongue between her lips and dabbed at first her bottom lip, then her top.

'' Damn,'' he whispered, his eyelids lowering.

Damn, indeed, Sam thought.

'' This has got to be some kind of a birthday party. Otherwise I'd be really worried for America.''

'' Do you think General Hammond's in here?''

'' Oh, God, if he is, I'll never be able to look him in the face.''

The Colonel made the first move a moment before Sam was about to make hers. He tilted his head slowly to the side and moved very, very carefully towards her. Her eyes closed automatically. His mouth touched hers, she parted her lips. They pressed together for several seconds, savouring the first illicit contact, then Sam reached up with her hand and brushed her fingertips along his jaw and that seemed to decide him. He moved in further, parting her lips with his own and cupping the back of her neck with his own hand. Still half aware of the people around them, they muted the noises they usually would have made and worked on getting as physically close to each other as they could without breaking contact. She started turning her body around on the chair just as he reached across and wrapped his hand around her hip, pulling her towards him. For a moment she panicked, then she realised he was sliding her onto his lap. That done, skilfully, she wrapped her arms about his neck, tilted her head to the other side for a different angle and pressed herself against him. The moan he made was very low, very subtle, but she felt it reverberate all over her body.

HolyHannahHolyHannahHolyHannah.

They pulled back eventually, needing to breath, and quietly panted. Sam leaned her head forward and rested it on his shoulder, closed her eyes. He stroked the small of her back, his chest rising and falling.

Suddenly, there was a chorus of cries around the table.

'' Holy shit,'' Jack breathed.

Sam lifted her head and instinctively turned around. '' Oh my God.''

Daniel had lowered his head to the table. '' I'll never be able to look him the face again. Never, I tell you. Oh Jesus.''