Silence. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. This silence is bad. The kind that makes your insides turn to jelly and seriously consider the possibility of digging through solid concrete just to escape the tension. The pressure of the room seems to increase until you just know something's going to give. I frantically try to think of a reply. The only problem is, how do you reply to that?
"I never meant to hurt you," I eventually mange to persuade my voice box to say. That wasn't exactly a good response, but then, I don't really think a good answer exists. Those blue eyes soften slightly, she can sense how I feel from the sound of my voice. I knew this conversation would have to happen eventually, but I wasn't prepared.
"I worked for nearly three months to get you back. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have no way to get to you? I don't blame you, but it's not easy for me."
The words reach my ears, and although I know that she didn't mean it to be hurtful, the words may as well have been razor sharp knives. I look at the floor. It's easier than looking into her eyes. If I do that, it might just be real, and I don't think I can handle her emotions as well as mine.
"I'm sorry." The only words I can think of. I know it's not enough, but I don't know how to put what I'm about to say, so anything that'll buy a little time is fine with me.
"She was there when I thought I'd lost everything. I always hoped you'd find a way to beat the odds, but it was a long time. But even when Laira was there, I couldn't help wishing it was you."
Dammit. I should have stopped after 'I'm sorry', but no. I had to continue. Her eyes start to fill up with tears. Why, why had I been so stupid!
"I just need to know, sir, did you love her?" Great! How am I supposed to answer that one. I suppose I'll have to resort to the truth. I couldn't lie. Not to her.
"I cared about her, but I wasn't in love with her." The relief on her face has just made the whole conversation worthwhile. She walks towards me and puts her arms around my neck. Smiling, I return the hug, and even though the last few months have been tough, maybe, just maybe, things are starting to look up.
"I never meant to hurt you," I eventually mange to persuade my voice box to say. That wasn't exactly a good response, but then, I don't really think a good answer exists. Those blue eyes soften slightly, she can sense how I feel from the sound of my voice. I knew this conversation would have to happen eventually, but I wasn't prepared.
"I worked for nearly three months to get you back. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have no way to get to you? I don't blame you, but it's not easy for me."
The words reach my ears, and although I know that she didn't mean it to be hurtful, the words may as well have been razor sharp knives. I look at the floor. It's easier than looking into her eyes. If I do that, it might just be real, and I don't think I can handle her emotions as well as mine.
"I'm sorry." The only words I can think of. I know it's not enough, but I don't know how to put what I'm about to say, so anything that'll buy a little time is fine with me.
"She was there when I thought I'd lost everything. I always hoped you'd find a way to beat the odds, but it was a long time. But even when Laira was there, I couldn't help wishing it was you."
Dammit. I should have stopped after 'I'm sorry', but no. I had to continue. Her eyes start to fill up with tears. Why, why had I been so stupid!
"I just need to know, sir, did you love her?" Great! How am I supposed to answer that one. I suppose I'll have to resort to the truth. I couldn't lie. Not to her.
"I cared about her, but I wasn't in love with her." The relief on her face has just made the whole conversation worthwhile. She walks towards me and puts her arms around my neck. Smiling, I return the hug, and even though the last few months have been tough, maybe, just maybe, things are starting to look up.
