A/N: Yet another unexpected chapter. I'm kinda enjoying this now. There will be another one after this - probably about the Wednesday mission - but I don't know when that'll be up as I haven't started it yet. Got a few ideas. Won't be a serious mission, I imagine. We'll see.

PS. I promise there will be more physical S/J ship in the next chapter.

Spoilers: Season 4/5-ish.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is an original MGM, Greenburg/Anderson, Gekko, Top Secret, Kawoosh! production. Any material relating to Stargate SG-1 is for entertainment only, and is in no way meant as an infringement on copyrights. In other words, I own nadda.

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Sam felt like she was floating, and it was no exaggeration. She kept checking her feet to make sure they were actually on the ground, because it damn well didn't feel like it. In fact, glancing forwards and backwards, she paused against a wall and inspected the bottom of her feet. It felt kinda stupid doing it, but this was the SGC. Bizarre goings on were their business and she'd learnt not to apply normal Earth rules to whatever went on inside the mountain and, um, up in space.

Sure that her feet were sound, her boots were still regulation, and there was not several inches between her and the floor, Sam continued on towards her lab, resisting the strong, strange urge to whistle 'King of the Swingers'. The Colonel really was rubbing off on her....

Oooh, that was a really dirty thought.

It had been exactly four days since they'd first started.... doing whatever they were doing at the moment. She couldn't call it dating because, frankly, they hadn't gone on a date. Today they'd eaten lunch in the commissary together, late, so that not many people had been around. That meant of course that they could tangle their feet together and give each other goofy looks.

Unfortunately, Daniel walked in to have late lunch, spotted them, waved (nearly dropped his tray in the process), and sat down with them. '' God, I'm glad you're here. Janet just threw my out of my lab. You know she's taken to sneaking around the SGC, making sure her 'recurring offenders' - yes, that's what she calls me - are eating properly and regularly.'' He shook his head and speared something that could have been a carrot, but clearly wasn't the right colour, with his fork.

Sighing, Jack removed his legs from Sam's. '' So, Daniel, all prepared for the mission tomorrow?''

'' Of course. Have you read my report yet?''

This was a running conversational theme between Jack and Daniel. Jack was trying to make sure that Daniel would be on time, with all the necessary equipment, while Daniel was still trying to convince Jack that his reports were worth reading. Even if you did need a dictionary to do that.

Sam, on the other hand, had long since given up trying to convince her CO to read the whole of her reports. Instead, about two years ago, she'd started introducing bullet point summaries especially for him (and, she suspected, General Hammond - though God knew he'd never admit to it) and that seemed to do the trick.

Daniel, however, thought bullet points ruined the flow of his report.

'' I spoke to Davis this morning.''

Both Sam and Jack leaned forward, eyebrows raised. '' And?''

Daniel grinned secretively. '' You remember General Dwight?''

'' Remind me.''

He swallowed hard. '' The guy in the... well.. in the negligée.''

Jack groaned and lowered his head to the table.

'' Which guy? There were three,'' Sam reminded Daniel.

Daniel blanched. '' Oh, God, so there were.'' He shook his head, as if to get rid of the images. '' The guy in the cherry negligée, and I can't believe I just said that.''

'' Oh. Him,'' Jack said to the table.

'' Yeah. Well, you'll never guess who walked into Davis's office.''

'' General Dwight?''

'' And Davis couldn't form a sentence. The guy was standing there, giving him orders, asking questions, and Davis was too shocked to even respond.''

Sam grinned, easily picturing the scene. '' I'm so glad we only have General Hammond to worry about. Poor Davis has more chance of actually seeing the generals than we do.''

'' Yeah, but it can't compare,'' Jack complained, lifting his head. '' I mean, we all know Hammond. I know Hammond's family. I know his kids, I know his granddaughters.'' Leaning forward, he whispered, '' But each time I look at him I see him in... in...''

It was too much for him. Jack stood up abruptly, a panicked expression on his face. '' I need coffee. Now.'' He walked off to the drinks table.

Sam giggled, licked her jello spoon. '' He's not taking this well.''

'' You, on the other hand, seem to be taking it all very well,'' Daniel murmured, raising his eyebrows at her.

'' You forget, my dad's a general. I've seen all sorts of weird stuff. Who cares if they like to get together and dress up in women's clothes?''

'' Women's underwear, Sam. Underwear.''

'' Or tartan and tweed. Or leather and suspenders. It doesn't really bother me. It's funny, but I have better things to think about.'' Such as, the various rooms in the SGC that didn't have security cameras. The various pieces of un-regulation underwear she could wear under her BDUs and exactly how he was going to see them. Naquadah generators. Um, Colonel O'Neill. Reports. Colonel O'Neill. Doing reports with Colonel O'Neill. Chocolate. Chocolate eyes. Colonel O'Neill. Mission reports. Colonel O'Neill's hands. And where he put them....

Daniel sighed. '' I'll bet you're glad your dad wasn't in those pictures, though.''

'' Oh, boy, am I ever.'' She grimaced and scraped up the last of her raspberry jello. Since her private time with her Colonel had been cut short, she might as well go back to work, but she decided to wait until he came back. Just in case he had any... messages for her.

Jack, looking decidedly more calm after several gulps of unsweetened black coffee, sat back down and smiled at them both. '' Let's talk about something else. Now.''

Daniel laughed. '' Want to discuss the Persian influences I saw in....''

'' No! No, I don't. Sam?''

Sam felt, rather than saw, Daniel's surprise. She did, however, catch in her peripheral vision, Daniel mouthing 'Sam?' at Colonel O'Neill. '' I could always tell you about the interesting meteorological...''

'' Ah! Ah-hah! No. God, where's Teal'c? I'm going to find Teal'c. Have a nice afternoon, children. Major, my office, five o'clock.''

She tried not to smirk. '' Yes, sir. Shall I bring those reports, sir?''

He tried not to grin. '' Yes, Major, I think you should. Goodbye, Daniel.''

'' Bye, Jack.''

Grinning happily to herself, Sam dropped her plastic jello cup on her plate and finished off her water. So involved was she in her own libidinous mental thoughts that she hadn't noticed Daniel staring at her fixedly. When she finally did, she did a double take. '' What? What is it?'' she asked. '' You look like you've seen a ghost.''

'' You're having sex!'' he said in accusatory tones.

'' What!'' Her head swivelled Exorcist-like as she checked that no one else was in the commissary to over hear. '' Daniel, I don't know what you're talking about.''

He leaned closer to her and hissed, '' You and Jack - you're sleeping together.''

'' Daniel, don't be ridiculous. Of course we're not sleeping together.'' Not yet, anyway. '' Whatever gave you that idea?''

Daniel ruthlessly stabbed at his vegetables. '' I cannot believe my two best friends are together and neither of them thought to tell me.''

'' Daniel, we are not together. Do you know how much trouble we'd get into?''

'' Oh, please. Jack's 2IC of the most secret base on Earth, you're the top Stargate scientist and your father is an alien. You're both on the flagship team. I think we can safely say some boring USAF regulations don't apply.''

She was starting to feel nauseous. '' Daniel, please, listen to what you're saying. It's nuts! We couldn't be on SG-1 together if we were... dating.''

'' Huh? How did you come up with that one then?''

This was so surreal. This was beyond surreal, actually. She just bet this was another alien plot. If she shot Daniel now he would surely revert to some cockroach-like alien thing and her life would start to make sense again.

'' Janet thought there was something going on between you two.'' He waved a fork at her threateningly. '' She came to see me this morning after she found you in your lab with your hair all over the place and your top on backwards.''

Briefly seeing stars, Sam remembered hoping that Janet hadn't noticed anything was out of place. She, after all, had only realised she'd put her top on backwards when she'd gone to the bathroom shortly after breakfast, two hours after her accidental rendezvous with Colonel O'Neill in the locker room when things had got just a tad carried away. Damn. She hoped none of the techs had noticed because that would be beyond embarrassing.

Hold on a minute... Janet and Daniel were discussing them?

'' What else has Janet told you?'' Sam asked, leaning on the table.

Daniel shrugged. '' Oh, you know. Nothing the base doesn't know already. The zay'tarc thing. The armbands stuff, you know, you and him on either side of the force-field. That once, when you were really drunk, you admitted that you fancied the pants off him. That things were slightly more advanced between Jona and Thera than you let on in your reports...''

'' I'm gonna kill her.'' Sam stood up abruptly, murder in her eyes. '' Daniel, if you tell anyone about this...''

He looked at her in confusion. '' Who am I going to tell? I only gossip about you and Jack with Janet. Oh, and Teal'c. And Jacob, of course. And consequentially Selmac. Garshaw. We let Martouf have the details once too. Aldwin. Of course, Jack put a serious stop to any notions Simmons had so we didn't really have to mention it to him... Sam? Sam, where are you going.....?''

That had been about twenty minutes ago. Unfortunately, she'd been waylaid on her way to the elevators by a tech who had a clipboard and a dangerous set of figures, complete with detailed graphs and wanted her to, on the spot, analyse them for him. Since her mind was boggling, Sam fobbed him off, grabbed an elevator which took her agonisingly slowly to level 21 where she grabbed Janet by her stethoscope and yanked her into the office.

'' Sam, what on earth is going on?'' Janet demanded as Sam closed the door and pulled the blinds down over the windows into the corridor.

'' Jona and Thera?'' Sam hissed angrily.

Janet winced and played with her hair. '' Oh, damn the man.''

'' Jona and Thera?''

'' It wasn't as if you had sex, Sam. Honestly, Cassie does more with her boyfriends than you did with the Colonel... and I can't believe I just said that like it's a good thing.... but anyway I just mentioned it the once and it was months ago. I had kinda hoped he'd forgotten.''

'' I don't believe this. My relationship with Colonel O'Neill is no one's business.'' There. That sounded good. Professional. Outraged. '' And the zay'tarcs! You told him about the zay'tarcs!''

Nervously, Janet fiddled with her stethoscope. '' Well, you know, it just.... slipped out. He thought it was sweet.''

Slipped out! Slipped out! She grabbed her hair in frustration. Sweet! Sweet? Holy Hannah! '' Janet, I'm never telling you anything ever again!''

Since she was afraid that she just might commit doctricide, Sam slammed the door on the way out of Janet's office and stormed off down the corridor to the elevators. She was so pissed off it was reaching universe proportions. How dare they gossip about her and the Colonel like that? Though, technically, it wasn't really gossip anymore, but that wasn't the point.

Hold on, Cassie did more with her boyfriends than her and Colonel O'Neill? Well, that was just... wrong.

Obviously, Sam realised she was distinctly frustrated. It was all well and good snatching a few moments or, ahem, an hour in a storage cupboard on level twenty-three but it wasn't really getting them anywhere. Somehow, having sex on the base was just a little tacky. It really rather rubbed in the point that both of them had no life outside of the base.

Dammit, they needed to get out of the mountain, which wasn't going to happen since they had a mission early the next morning and what Sam planned required at least a day to recover from. Still, she at least needed to discuss it with him. He had to be having similar problems.

She checked her watch. He'd wanted to see her at five, it was now half four. She could waste half an hour in her lab, go there early, or go find that technician and apologise for her abruptness. Sighing, choice number three - the least appealing - won out.

The technician had more figures for Sam to look at, which meant she only got to Jack's office at quarter past five. He was busy. Well, he was throwing a bouncy ball at the wall as hard as he could and ducking, but at least he was doing something. The paperwork in his OUT tray was considerably higher than it had last been, which only meant half of the pile would make its way into her IN tray some time tomorrow.

'' Nothing too bad, Carter,'' he told her, catching the ball one last time and dropping it in a mug on the table. '' Though you might want to get a copy of SG-6's reports - they had some interesting findings that will no doubt send you into hyperactivity. How's your day been?''

'' The usual.'' She smiled at him warmly. '' Um, have you spoken to Daniel recently?''

'' Yes. Shortly after lunch when he came in here to see if I'd seen you.'' Jack raised his eyebrows. '' Doc still alive?''

'' Barely.'' Sam restrained from growling. '' Dammit, I hate when people talk about me.''

'' It's no more than usual, you know, Sam.''

'' I know, I know, there've been rumours about us from the beginning. That's Feretti's fault,'' she added, reaching into his mug and picking up the ball. Stepping back, she bounced it once. Huh. That was kinda fun. Of course, it was all logical. The force you applied, the kinetic energy of the...

'' What?''

Absently, she explained, '' Feretti? You remember, after the first mission, he started that betting pool about... us?'' Jack's security camera was now working and though the security staff kept the sound muted until something looked dodgy or unless people were under observation she didn't particularly want to state the issue so bluntly.

Clearly, Jack had known no such thing. He paled. '' He what?''

'' I can't believe you don't know this. I'm told its running into thousands of dollars by now.'' With some amusement, she watched as he slowly stood up. '' Okay, take a deep breath and calm down. It's not so bad.''

Scrabbling for words, Jack tried to voice his feelings - '' I'm... he's my... seriously... gonna... Sam... kill him.''

She giggled, backed up and closed the door, afraid he was going to make a run for it and seriously dent Feretti's head. '' Guess this has been a day of revelations for the both of us. You know Cassie's gone further with her boyfriends than we have?''

At this rapid change of conversation, Jack shook his head. '' Cassie? She's dating?''

She rolled her eyes. '' So not the point, Jack.''

'' But surely, that Jona and Thera thing....'' He narrowed his eyes. '' I mean, that is to say, well, you know.''

'' Apparently not.''

'' Jesus.''

'' I know.''

'' That's just... wrong. She's... We're gonna have to do something about that. How are you fixed for Wednesday night?''