(6/10/00—6/11/00) Episode #4: Get That Thing Out of My Face!
CHARACTERS:
JAMES
JESSE
MEOWTH
NEKO-CHAN
GALAXIA
CHAN-SAW
LESBIAN SEAGULL
EVIL BEAR-MON
ARBOK
WEEZING
Neko's GASTLY
Neko's RAICHU
Galaxia's FLAREON
a MACHOKE
some DRUNK DUCKS
and a FABIO LOOK-A-LIKE LIFEGUARD
Scene I(Jesse and James are sitting on the beach, seemingly alone)
JESSE: Talk about an empty beach!
JAMES: I guess not very many people like to go swimming at dawn.
JESSE: (shiver) It is a little chilly…*brrr*
JAMES: (sidling towards her) I could warm you up…
JESSE: (glare) James, what are you doing?
JAMES: (freezes) Er, nothing?
JESSE: That's what I thought.
JAMES: (sigh)
JESSE: (starts to shiver again) Um…
JAMES: (perks up) Yes?
JESSE: (looking around hastily) Maybe…you could…
JAMES: (grin; sidles towards her) Yes?!
JESSE: Seeing as how…we're…alone…
JAMES: Very alone…
JESSE: Seemingly alone!
JAMES: (nod) Seemingly.
JESSE: I guess it would be okay if…
JAMES: (right next to her) Yeeesss?
JESSE: …I borrowed your towel.
JAMES: WHA—?!
JESSE: (whipping his towel out from under him and wrapping it around herself) Thank you, James! That was very sweet of you!
JAMES: (on his back in the sand; stunned) My…towel…?!
(Neko, Galaxia and Chan-saw walk up in their swimsuits, towels in hand—well, Chan-saw's not in a suit but you get the idea…)
NEKO: There you two are!
GALAXIA: Whaddya doin' at the beach at this time of the day?! It's not even warm enough to swim yet!
JESSE: (irritated) Because we like to avoid crowds! I may ask the same thing of you two, though!
GALAXIA: (whispering to Neko) This looks kinky…
JESSE: What was that?!
GALAXIA: (pouty) I didn't say anything!
NEKO: Well we came because everyone knows you're not suppose to swim when the lifeguard's not on duty—
GALAXIA: And lifeguard's are never on duty at five in the morning!
NEKO: We just came to break the rules.
CHAN-SAW: Seey! [Loves breaking rules]
JESSE: Oooh-kaaay…
(Chan-saw runs off towards a pile of driftwood to play with her chainsaw)
JAMES: (righting himself) Ohaiyo gozaimasu. [Good morning]
NEKO: Arigato. O'genki desu ka? [Thank you. How are you?]
JAMES: Bóku mótsu suna ni kamí. [I have sand in my hair]
NEKO: Sóo fukóo na. [That's unfortunate]
JAMES: Hai. [Yes] (shakes his hair to get the sand out)
GALAXIA: (confused) Uh…
JESSE: Could we be included in this conversation, please?!
NEKO & JAMES: Sumimasén. [Sorry]
JESSE: (irritated sigh) Hey, Neko. There's something different about you…
NEKO: Huh? (turning and trying to get a look at herself)
JAMES: (looking at Neko) There is?
JESSE: (thoughtful) Yes. I can't put my finger on it though…
JAMES: (blushing) Er…Neko…since when did you have such…er…um…big…ya know…
JESSE: That's it! Your chest is bigger!
JAMES: (really red) You don't have to be so blunt…
NEKO: (blushing) My…chest… (chances a peek at herself)
GALAXIA: Hey, Jesse's right! Since when have you had such big hooters?
JAMES: (extremely embarrassed) I believe the polite term would be 'well endowed'…
NEKO: (looking at her swimsuit top) Oh! So that's where I put my Pokéballs! (turns around and slips the Pokéballs from her top)
JAMES: (relieved) Good, no silicon!
NEKO: Of course not! I would never get a boob-job!
GALAXIA: (confused) Why not? You need one.
(Neko knocks her over with the back of her fist)
JAMES: (jumping up angrily) COULD WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT BREASTS?!?!!
GIRLS: Speak for yourself! Pervert!
JAMES: (smacks his forehead in defeat) Oi!
JESSE: Anyway, back to a point?
JAMES: (irritated) There's a point to this?!
JESSE: Oh James, shut up or I'll do something that'll really make your face red…
(Neko and Galaxia giggle mischievously)
JAMES: (really curious) Like what?
JESSE: Like this! (makes a grab for his shorts)
JAMES: YAAAAGGHHH!! (dives out of the way before she can pants him)
JESSE: So now you know what I'll do if you don't shut up.
JAMES: I hate this.
JESSE: Jaaaamesss…
JAMES: Shutting up now!
JESSE: Anyway, as I was saying, since when do you have Pokémon, Neko?
NEKO: Since I joined Team Rocket of course. You have to have Pokémon to be in Team Rocket.
JESSE: Of course.(???) Um, why haven't we seen them until now?
NEKO: They've been in Pokémon reform school. Bad behavior.
JAMES: Bad behavior?
JESSE: James.
JAMES: Eep.
NEKO: But they've changed their ways now. Wanna' see?
JESSE: Not really…
NEKO: Pokéballs, go! (throws the balls on the sand and Gastly and Raichu pop out)
GASTLY: Gas, gastly! (starts flying in a tight circle with excitement)
RAICHU: (confused) Rai, rai? Rai, rai, rai…?
NEKO: We're at the beach!
RAICHU: (looks up at her questioningly) Rai, rai, raichu?
NEKO: (dryly) No, you can not bury us in the sand.
JAMES: (nervous) Uh, your Pokémon seem…nice…
NEKO: (insulted) Of course they're nice!
RAICHU: Rai!
NEKO: They're just misunderstood!
JESSE: (dryly) Sounds like James.
JAMES: I'm not weird!
(Everyone whistles and looks away)
JAMES: (pout) Why are you all so mean to me?
GALAXIA: (cheery) Because we love you.
JESSE: And you make it so easy.
RAICHU: (eyeing Jesse's bikini top mischievously) Raiiii…
JESSE: So…if you have Pokémon, Neko, Galaxia must have Pokémon too, right?
GALAXIA: (looking uncomfortable) Um…yeah.
JESSE: What's wrong?
GALAXIA: I'm not sure you'd like my Pokémon very much…
NEKO: (pushy) Oh, just show her your Pokémon, Galaxia!
GALAXIA: If you really want me to…(pulls out a Pokéball) Pokéball, go…(tosses it)
FLAREON: (popping out) Flare! (waves her tail flirtatiously)
JESSE: (excited) A Flareon! I love Flareons!
GALAXIA: Don't be so sure…(nervous)
JAMES: What are you so upset about? A Flareons a great Pokémon! (mutter) Of course, a Vaporeon would be better…
FLAREON: (seeing James) FLARE!!! (dives on him with hearts in her eyes)
JAMES: (terrified) YAAAGH, IT'S ATTACKING ME!!
GALAXIA: It's a little horny…
FLAREON: (licking James' face and rubbing up against him excitedly) Flare, flare, flare!!
JESSE: (dryly) I can see that…
JAMES: GET IT OFF OF ME, DAMNIT!!
GALAXIA: Aww, but she likes you!
NEKO: (sweetly) How romantic!
JESSE: (disturbed look) What's it doing?
NEKO: (suddenly not so happy) Er, maybe we should get her off of him…
GALAXIA: Flareon, get off of James this instant! Bad Flareon, bad! (sigh) I knew I should have gotten her fixed…!
GASTLY: (dizzy from spinning) Gast…ly…! (falls over)
Scene II
(Lesbian Seagull is sitting some ways down the beach meditating within a circle of white candles in a hooded, black velvet cloak)
SEAGULL: (staring into the flame of one of the candles and chanting)
Craft the spell
In the fire;
Craft it well;
Weave it higher.
Weave it now
Of shining flame;
None shall come
To hurt or maim.
None shall pass
This fiery wall;
None shall pass
No, none at all.
(Meowth who is passing by, stops and steps into the ring of candles)
MEOWTH: Hey, Seagull. What da hell ya doin'?
SEAGULL: (aghast) You just—!
MEOWTH: I just what? Whatcha' gawkin at, goil?
SEAGULL: (still speechless) My…spell—!
MEOWTH: (looking around at the candles and stuff) Ooh, you doin' dat creepy witchcraft stuff again?
SEAGULL: (gawk) I…! My…!
MEOWTH: Are you tryin' ta resurrect some ancient evil demon or sompin'?
SEAGULL: (regaining her voice) I…no, not really. Just a simple fire spell.
MEOWTH: (crestfallen) Aw. Damn. (walks off) Call me if ya ever do resurrect some evil demon guy, though!
SEAGULL: (watches him go then frowns angrily) Stupid cheap spell! (tries to kick sand on the candles but stubs her toe on some invisible wall) @#$%! What the—?! (taps at the invisible wall with a finger, then panics and begins pounding on it with her fists) GOD DAMNIT!! IT WORKED BACKWARDS!!
(pause)
GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!
Scene III
(The beach has started warming up. Jess and James are tanning on the beach while their Pokémon play or lounge about in the sand)
JAMES: (tilting his sunglasses down on his face) Jesse, I just thought of something.
JESSE: Hmm. What would that be James?
JAMES: If Arbok's able to get a contract, couldn't he get restraining orders as well?
JESSE: (blink) James, what the hell are you talking about?
JAMES: I'm talking about if Arbok ever got tired of you, he could just talk to his lawyers and run away!
JESSE: (looking at him weirdly) James…Arbok is a Pokémon…
JAMES: Well apparently even Pokémon can get lawyers these days.
JESSE: (blink, blink) You didn't put any sunscreen on, did you?
JAMES: (blink) Um, why do you ask?
(Close-by, Meowth and Chan-saw are building a giant sandcastle)
MEOWTH: Are ya finished diggin' dat moat, Chan-saw?
CHAN-SAW: (popping her head out of a giant trench) Seey…
MEOWTH: Well of course it's gotta' be big! How else would I fit da attack squids and sharks in dere?!
CHAN-SAW: Sey, sey.
MEOWTH: No, dat is not deep enough! Da squids 'n sharks are s'posed ta stay in da moat—we don't want dem gettin out!
CHAN-SAW: Sey! Chansey, chan.
MEOWTH: Stop yappin' an' start diggin', missy!
(Neko and Galaxia pop their heads out of the moat)
NEKO: WAZZUP?!
GALAXIA: Whatcha' doin?
MEOWTH: Yaagh! How'd youse guys get in dere?!
NEKO: Oh, we were just walking along looking for broken bottles and suddenly we fell into this big sand-trap.
GALAXIA: Meowth, what is this? Have the Russians attacked again?
MEOWTH: It's not a sand-trap, it's a moat, moron! And it's for my sandcastle!
NEKO: Damn. I thought you were stockpiling weapons for World War III or something.
MEOWTH: I did dat last week. Now could ya please get outta' dere so I can fill it?!
GALAXIA: (huffy) Fine! We know where we're unwanted!
NEKO: Hey, let's go feed beer-soaked bread to the ducks.
GALAXIA: Okay! But where are we gonna' get the beer?
NEKO: Oh, I'm sure James' got some in his cooler somewhere.
(Jump out of the moat and run off)
MEOWTH: Weirdoes! (to Chan-saw) Hey, powderpuff! You done diggin' dat moat?! I've got ta fill it so I can add da squids and sharks!
(Jesse and James are still tanning on their towels)
JAMES: You know what? I just thought of something else.
JESSE: For god-sakes, James, stop thinking!
JAMES: No, no! It's something really important this time.
JESSE: (sigh) Like what? How does a Pidgey fly?
JAMES: No. (thoughtful) Though that does present a very curious question…
JESSE: Shut up! What were you thinking of?!
JAMES: Oh. Well, I just realized that we don't have the day off.
JESSE: (blink) We…don't?
JAMES: Um, no. (pulls out a calendar) See, here's today, but our day off is actually tomorrow. A common mistake.
JESSE: Oh, damn! (blink) James, how come you realized this before I did?
JAMES: Because I was looking at the calendar realizing your birthday was coming up and I hadn't bought you a present yet.
JESSE: (angry) You haven't bought my present yet?!
JAMES: Nooo…(sweat drop)
JESSE: *grrr*
(Neko and Galaxia run by, followed by a swarm of angry drunken ducks)
GALAXIA: AAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! NEKO, THROW THEM SOME BREAD, THROW THEM SOME BREEEEEAAAAADDD!!!!
NEKO: WE'RE ALL OUT!!!!
GALAXIA: WELL THROW THEM SOMETHING!!!!
(The ducks start pecking and biting at them)
BOTH: OOOWWWW!!! OWOWOWOWWWW!!!!!
JAMES: What got into the ducks?
JESSE: I'm guessing Leinie's.
RAICHU: (popping out of the sand) RAI!
JAMES: Yikes! Don't do that!
RAICHU: Chu! Rai, rai, raichu!
JESSE: I don't like that look in it's eyes…
JAMES: (wary) Have you been drinking too?
RAICHU: (innocent) Chu?
JESSE: (stern) Don't play innocent with us, buddy!
JAMES: (just as stern) Right! We're the experts in playing innocent!
RAICHU: (rolls his eyes) Chu rai! (akanbe)
JAMES: (angry) Well, 'nyah' to you too, damnit! (akanbe)
RAICHU: (rolling his eyes comically and wagging his tongue rudely) Rai rai!
JAMES: Oh yeah?! (glares so angrily that he gets fangs)
JESSE: Stop acting so immature, half-wits! (sticks her tongue out at them)
RAICHU: (glaring back) Raaiii! *grrr*
JAMES: (glaring harder) Grrrr!
(Raichu glares so hard he freezes James. Laughing at him, he steals another beer from the cooler, unsnaps Jesse's bikini top, and runs off with it)
JAMES: I CAN'T MOVE!!!
JESSE: (quickly grabbing his towel and covering herself with it) NEITHER CAN I!!!!!
(Silence)
JAMES: Who knew that a Raichu could use Glare?
JESSE: SHUTUP!!
(More silence)
JESSE: Did you…see anything?
JAMES: (blushing) Um…no…
JESSE: Good! Because if you had, I'd have to pound your face into the sand!
JAMES: (gulp)
JESSE: (crying) Stupid Raichu! Now what am supposed to do?!
JAMES: You could go after it.
JESSE: Are you mad?! I'm not running around the beach in a towel! (kicks him) You go!
JAMES: But I'm frozen!
JESSE: So unfreeze, damnit!
JAMES: (panicking) How am I supposed to do that, Jesse?!
JESSE: To unfreeze something that is frozen, you melt it moron!
JAMES: Er…we're already on a beach, Jess. You can't get much hotter than that.
JESSE: (blushing) Yes you can…
JAMES: (excited) What?! Do you have an idea?!
JESSE: (blushing harder) Sort of…
JAMES: What?! Tell me, tell me!! I'm getting cramps in my shoulders!
JESSE: (embarrassed) Well, I was thinking…maybe if I…kissed you…you would melt…
JAMES: (blushing) Um…yeah…that might work…
JESSE: Just…maybe…
(Silence)
JAMES: (expectantly) …Well?
JESSE: (irritated) Well what?!
JAMES: (carefully) Aren't you going to…kiss me? I'm not going anywhere.
JESSE: (angry) Don't rush me!
JAMES: I'm not rushing!!
JESSE: (making sure the towel is firmly in place) Okay…(takes a deep breath) Here goes!
(Jesse kisses him quickly on the nose)
JAMES: (blink, blink)
JESSE: (looking at him expectantly) Okay-ay! Unfreeze!
JAMES: (eyebrow raised) You kissed my nose.
JESSE: Yeah…Are you going to unfreeze or not?
JAMES: (pouty) How am I supposed to melt if you give me a peck on the nose?
JESSE: (irritated) Okay, Mr. Smarty-pants! How exactly was I suppose to kiss you?!
JAMES: (shyly) Um…you know…
JESSE: Why do you have to be so damned difficult?!
JAMES: Hey, I'm not the one who made up the rules! It's just common knowledge that a guy won't melt if you kiss him on the nose!
JESSE: (huffy) Oh, what would you know?!
JAMES: (insulted) I know plenty!
JESSE: (eye roll) Yeah! Right…
JAMES: (sneaky) Hmmm…You know what it sounds like to me?
JESSE: What?!
JAMES: (smirk) You've never kissed anyone before.
JESSE: (enraged) Of course I have!
JAMES: Nu-uh.
JESSE: Ya-HUH! (getting ready to smack him)
JAMES: Oh, yeah? Prove it!
JESSE: Alright! I will! (muttering angrily) I'll show him, that cocky, self-righteous bastard!
(Jesse angrily grabs his head and kisses him hard on the lips)
JAMES: (melting) …!!
(Jesse continues to kiss him aggressively for a whole minute. Finally she pulls away, grinning proudly)
JESSE: Ha! Told you! (akanbe) Nyah!
JAMES: (mock defeated) You sure did, Jesse…Oh, well. I guess I have to go try and get your bikini top back, now.
JESSE: (losing her smile) Hold on! Don't I get a thank you?!
JAMES: (mock innocent) Thank you? For what?
JESSE: (shocked anger) For unfreezing you, you ungrateful jerk!
JAMES: Ohhh, thaaaat!
JESSE: (seething) Yes, that! [She's covering up for the fact that she enjoyed it ^_~]
JAMES: Would this do? (pulls her to him and kisses her deeply)
(Jesse looks surprised, then melts into his embrace and returns the kiss)
(Suddenly Gastly pops up out of the sand holding a camera—don't ask me how)
GASTLY: (smiling happily) Gas! Gastly! (takes a picture of them making out)
BOTH: (pulling apart hastily) YAAAAAGHHH!!!
JAMES: WE WERE'NT DOING ANYTHING, I SWEAR!!!
JESSE: (diving at Gastly and almost loses her towel) GIVE ME THAT CAMERA, YOU FILTHY, SONAFA—!!!
GASTLY: (disappearing and reappearing behind them—waves the camera tauntingly) Gas, gastly! Gastly, gastly!
JESSE: Oh no you don't, you stupid Pokémon!!! Give me that film now before I tear you limb from limb!!!
JAMES: Isn't it already dead?
JESSE; I…!! James, shut up and get that camera back!
JAMES: (whine) But Jesse—!
JESSE: No buts!! GET THAT CAMERA AND GET IT NOW OR YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT!!!! (the towel falls off from her outburst)
JAMES: Maybe I should go find your top first?
JESSE: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Scene IV
(Meowth is overseeing the final construction of his sandcastle and moat)
MEOWTH: (using a megaphone) Hey! Evil Bear-mon! Have you completed dat tower yet?!
EVIL BEAR-MON: (poking his head over the rim of a tower) Eeev! (thumbs up)
MEOWTH: Excellent! Chan-saw, how is the bridge comin' along?!
CHAN-SAW: (stops chopping driftwood and pulls up her visor) Seey! Chansey, sey, chan!
MEOWTH: Well dat's not my problem! Weezin's in charge of gatherin' da driftwood!
WEEZING: Weee…
MEOWTH: I won't hear dat kind of talk! Now get back out dere and find me more driftwood!
WEEZING: Wee…(floats off sadly)
MEOWTH: (looking around in irritation) Come on, people! Chop chop! We ain't got all day! Now where's my moat-monster crew?!
ARBOK: (saluting with his tail) Char!
MEOWTH: Where's da rest of da crew?
ARBOK: Char…chaaaar-bokuh!
MEOWTH: Dose lazy slacka's! Insubordination! Dey're fired!
ARBOK: …cha, charbokuh…
MEOWTH: Dat's beside da point, Lieutenant! Dey're still fired! Now, report, soldier! Have ya collected da attack squids an' sharks?!
ARBOK: (sweat drop) Char…
MEOWTH: Good! Have dem released in da moat!
ARBOK: (salutes and slithers off to obey) Char!
NEKO: (popping her head out of a window) Hey, there's real carpeting in here! Sugoi! [Cool!]
GALAXIA: (tapping on one of the closed windows) Are these Pella?
MEOWTH: Hey!! Youse in da windows! Whaddya think you're doin'?!
NEKO: (waving a hand dismissively) Oh, don't mind us! We're just hiding from the ducks!
GALAXIA: Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
MEOWTH: Yes!! Get out now!! You're gonna' make it collapse!!
GALAXIA: Aww! Party pooper!
NEKO: (insulted) It's a crummy sandcastle anyway! I would have made a nuclear weapons bunker!
MEOWTH: (dancing about in rage) GET OUT!!!!
NEKO: With a real launch test site!
(Both disappear from the windows)
MEOWTH: (signals to a burly looking Machoke)
MACHOKE: Choke?
MEOWTH: Send in da swat team, captain.
(James is chasing Raichu across the beach)
JAMES: (growling) Give it back, damnit!
RAICHU: (laughing hysterically) Rai, RAI!! Rai, rai, rai…!!
JAMES: You little bastard!! I need that swimsuit top so Jesse will make-out with me again!
RAICHU: (laughing harder) CHUU!! RAI RAI!!
JAMES: I am not!!
RAICHU: Chu! (akanbe)
JAMES: (enraged) Why you—!! Get back here!! I'll beat that goddamn smirk off your face!!
RAICHU: (crying from laughing so hard) RAAAIIII!!
(Both keep running and almost run past Lesbian Seagull who is still trying to get out of her invisible force-field spell)
JAMES: (jerking to a stop) Er…what are you doing?
RAICHU: Rai? (tilts his head quizzically)
SEAGULL: (pounding on her invisible cage) Trying to get out of this damn circle!!
RAICHU: Ra…rai?
SEAGULL: Help me out of this thing, damnit!!
JAMES: What…thing? There's nothing but air.
SEAGULL: It's invisible, moron!! Help me break it or something—I'm trapped in here!!
(James and Raichu exchange a shrug)
RAICHU: Raichu, rai…
JAMES: Neither do I. (sudden thought) Hey, this must be some new mime training thing!
SEAGULL: Mime training, my ass! Just break this damn thing!
JAMES: (ignoring her) I think you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to feel all the walls of the box and then pretend to open a door in the top.
SEAGULL: I'M NOT MIMING, IMBECILE!!
JAMES: (to Raichu) Shh! Let's leave her alone! She needs more practice!
RAICHU: (nod) Rai!
(Both walk off, leaving Seagull screaming after them)
SEAGULL: @#$%#^%#%%^&!%$^@^%$@#$!%%#$^$&#@!$@#$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scene V
(Jesse, Neko and Galaxia are walking along the beach front eating ice cream cones. Neko and Galaxia are covered in about 3 boxes worth of bandages)
JESSE: Where the hell is James with that bikini top?
GALAXIA: Your bikini top?!
NEKO: (sneaky grin) Jesse, what's James doing with your swimsuit top?
GALAXIA: (curious) Is this some kind of game you guys play when we're not around?
JESSE: (blushing) You guys are sick! That's not it at all!
NEKO: Then what the hell is it? What else would a guy be doing with your bikini top?
JAMES: Grr…It's none of your business, damnit!
NEKO: Fine. You can keep your sex-life to yourself.
JESSE: I said, shut up! (whaps Neko in the back of the head)
GALAXIA: Jesse, if James has your swimsuit top, how come you're wearing it?
JESSE: Because I went home and changed into my other suit.
NEKO: Then why…(sigh) Oh, forget about it!
JESSE: Exactly! Forget about it!
(Gastly appears in front of them)
GASTLY: (happy grin) Gaaaas-tly!
JESSE: (turning blue) G-gastly!
NEKO: Hey, Gastly-chan! What have you been up to, you sneaky spook?
JESSE: G-gastly, you haven't been up to anything, have you?!
GASTLY: (nodding) Gastly!
JESSE: (gritting her teeth angrily) Of course you haven't, Gastly…
GASTLY: (nodding again) Gastly!
NEKO: (stern) Gastly, have you been taking scandalous pictures of people again?
GASTLY: (looking guilty) Gaaas…
NEKO: Okay, Mister! Hand over the camera!
(Gastly hands over the camera reluctantly)
NEKO: Good ghosty! (waving her finger at him accusingly) Gastly, you should be ashamed of yourself! Violating people's rights like that! No kawari ni hají! [For shame!]
GASTLY: (drooping sadly) Gas… (disappears)
JESSE: (grabbing the camera hastily) Okay! We'd better go destroy this!
NEKO: (grabbing it back) Are you kidding?! I wanna' see what kinds of juicy things he caught on this baby!
GALAXIA: Ooh! How fun!
NEKO: Come on! There's a one-hour photo place just down the street from here!
JESSE: Yaaagh! You can't do that!!
NEKO: Why not?
JESSE: Because it would be…um…wrong! That's right!
NEKO: (gives Jesse a weird look) Since when did you care?
GALAXIA: Ohmigod, she's gone soft!
JESSE: I-I—No I haven't!
NEKO: Sounds like it to me.
JESSE: (insulted) I have not gone soft, you guys!
NEKO: I think you have.
GALAXIA: You need a really studly boyfriend.
JESSE: (blushing) What?!
NEKO: Galaxia's right. Maybe some really hot lovin' would snap Jesse out of it.
GALAXIA: Hey, how about that lifeguard over there?
JESSE: Uh, you mean the Fabio look-a-like?
NEKO: Yeah! He's perfect for you!
JESSE: (raised eyebrow) Doesn't he advertise butter spray?
GALAXIA: I don't think so—he looks like a lifeguard to me…
JESSE: Not him—Fabio! Moron!
NEKO: Not butter spray. Not-butter spray.
JESSE: What butter spray?
NEKO: Not-butter.
GALAXIA: He sounds like a weirdo.
NEKO: He's got big pecks.
GALAXIA: Do you like him?
NEKO: Eeew! NO!!
JESSE: (angry) Then why are you trying to hook me up with him?!
NEKO: I wasn't. I was trying to hook you up with that look-a-like lifeguard.
JESSE: (sigh) Let's just get out of here. I think I've had enough of the beach for one day!
(All of a sudden, James goes running by, waving Jesse's swimsuit top in the air)
JAMES: HA, HA, SUCKER!!!! I GOT IT!!!! NYAH NYAH!!!!
(Raichu streaks past them, chasing James. Soon after, he's followed by a flock of drunken ducks)
GALAXIA: Um, Jesse…
JESSE: I need a paper bag…
END EPISODE FOUR
