Author's ramble: Sooooooooo sorry for the long delay in the update. I FINALLY finished all the chapter and will post them all soon. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. (In case it's been a while and you forgot what happened…Carol is in Rogue's body and isn't too happy about it and neither are the X-men. That's about it.) Ok then, on with the Fic!
* * *
Carol,
Before I say anything else, I just want to tell you that I am so very, very
sorry. Words cannot express the amount of pain and sorrow I feel for what
I've done. Please understand that I never meant for this to happen.
I never meant to hurt you, honest. I know nothing I could ever say or do
could ever make up for what I've done, but this is all I could do to give you a
second chance at life. I hope you can make the best of it, as I sure
haven't. I've left you a few notes to help you out in getting adjusted
but I know the X-Men will help you do that anyway. I know they'll treat
you with the same respect and kindness they showed me. Even though I may
never have shown it, they mean a lot to me and I treasure them greatly.
It may sound corny, but they are like my family; the only family I've ever
known. Please take care of them for me, as they have taken care of me.
Again, I'm really, really sorry.
Rogue
Dear Kitty,
Hey there, Kitty. Well, I guess you wound up getting a new roommate after
all, huh? I'm sure she'll be a much better roommate than I ever
was. I'm sorry for all those times I teased you or may have hurt
you. I know we never really got along that great, but I always liked
you. You were such a nice person with a good heart. Always remember
the good times we had together. Take care of yourself.
Lots of Love,
Rogue
Dear Evan,
Hi, Evan. I know we never talked much; actually we hardly talked at
all. I'm really sorry about that. No matter what anyone says,
you're a cool kid and you have a lot of potential. I'm sorry I never got
to know you. It's hard having so many regrets and no time to make up for
them. I wish you all the best.
Love, Rogue
Dear Jean,
Hi, Jean. I know you thought I always hated you because you were Ms. Perfect
but the truth is, I always admired you. You were always so cool and
levelheaded. But, I always felt that I had nothing and you had everything
and I took that against you. I'm sorry. It wasn't fair of me and
it's not your fault things are the way they are. I never hated you; I
just hated the way things were. Thanks for always being so nice to
me. I wish we could have gotten to be better friends.
Love,
Rogue
Dear Scott,
Hi, Scott. We've been through a lot together, haven't we? I never
got to tell you how much I appreciated you or everything you've done. You
never stopped trying to be my friend and to convince me that you were the good
guys. You always showed me such kindness and sincerity. Thank you
for everything. Please show Carol the same kindness you've shown me.
Love always,
Rogue
Dearest Kurt,
Hey, Kurt. This has got to be one of the hardest letters I've ever had to
write. You understood me like no one else on the team ever could.
You really made me feel like someone knew how I felt, about having to hide from
the world. I wish people weren't so judgmental on appearances and would
see the beauty you have within you. You are one of the kindest, sweetest
people I have ever met and I wish that everyone could see that. Don't let
anyone ever make you feel unworthy or freakish. You are a beautiful
person, Kurt. I'm sorry I won't be around to see you grow into the great
man I know you will be. Take care, Kurt.
Love,
Rogue
Dear Mr. McCoy/Beast,
Well, this is it. I'm taking your advice. I know it isn't what you
had in mind, but I have to do what I believe was right. And I believe
this is the only way I can make things right. I want you to know that I
loved the talks we had together. Some of my best memories are of talks
I've had with you. Thanks for always being there for me and giving me
such great advice. Thanks for always letting me make my own
decisions. Thank you for being a great friend and a wonderful teacher and
mentor. You're the best teacher I've ever had. You've taught me things I
could never learn in school but only from someone as wise as you.
Shakespeare was right, parting is such sweet sorrow. I will miss you
dearly.
Love,
Rogue
After everyone had read their letters, Kitty informed them of the letter Rogue
had left to Carol addressed to everyone. Everyone gathered in the
"meeting room" of the mansion to hear Rogue's letter read.
Carol had changed into something a little more comfortable (and colorful) and
sat next to Jean, cross-armed and looking annoyed. Carol handed the
letter to Professor Xavier but he insisted that it be read by her, as she was
the closest thing to the real Rogue that they had. Knowing that
protesting wouldn't work and that it would just annoy them further, she
reluctantly accepted. And so, she opened the envelope and began to read.
Dear everyone:
I'm writing this letter so that you guys have an idea of what was going through
my head in my last hours. I have to say, the decision wasn't easy for me
to make. I knew I couldn't just erase the memory of what happened with
Carol, it wouldn't be right. But I couldn't just let myself wither away
with guilt either. You all know that's what was happening. I talked
to Mr. McCoy and he told me that we have to learn from our regrets and use them
to make things better. I figured the best way I could use it was to give
Carol another chance at life. It was the least I could do and the only
thing I could do. I know no one will agree with this decision and as I
write this, I'm feeling apprehensive about actually going through with
it. But, it's the only way. I never wanted this to happen, but it
happened and I have to deal with it. As I write this, I'm thinking about
my life and the last moments I will have, just as a dying person would.
It's weird, I guess it's almost like I am dying. It's very scary to know
these are my last few hours. To know I'll never see another day. I
guess that's why people always watch the sunrise when they know they're
dying. It's little things like that that we take for granted. We
always figure that we can see the sunrise any day, but we never really stop
to. But your thoughts change when you know you're not coming back.
I said "good night" to Kitty for the first time in a while, because I
knew it was the last time I'd be able to. She seemed shocked but happy.
I'm glad I got to make her smile one last time. She's going to sleep now,
and I would too, but I have too much to do and say.
Right now my thoughts are turning to my life here at the Institute. Life
down in Mississippi wasn't bad. It was always OK, especially before I found out
I was a mutant. But, after I found out what I was and found out my curse
of a power, I felt like the loneliest girl in the world. That is, until I
joined you guys. Even with my powers being what they are, I felt a sort
of belonging here. I did still feel like an outcast because I knew I
could never truly belong to a group. I know I always seemed distant, but in my
heart I was glad to be part of a team, a family. I was distant because I
had to be, because my powers prevented me from getting close. But I never
hated being an X-Man (well, maybe when I had to wake up early for Danger Room
sessions. ;) ).
* * *
Right now, I'm watching the sunrise. I flew up to see it. This is my
second and last time using Carol's powers. I had used them earlier today
to clear my head. I never knew flying was so exhilarating. It's
such a wonderful feeling: the freedom, the wind all around you. The sky
looks so beautiful right now. I wish I could stay here forever, just
watching the sky. I can't help but cry now, knowing I'll never be able to
see something so beautiful, knowing my time is almost up. I
wish you were all here with me at this very moment to see how amazing this is.
* * *
Just now, I smiled at Kitty and told her that I'm going down to breakfast
today. I'd like to spend my last few hours with those who mean the most
to me. I want our last few moments together to be good ones.
* * *
Breakfast was nice. I hardly said a word to anyone but I was content
enough to just listen and see everyone having a good time. Anyway, I
gotta go now. It's time for the meeting. I'm feeling really scared
and nervous right now. I feel like I want to cry and scream and run all
at the same time, but I know I have to go through with it. This is
something I have to do. I'm sorry, everyone. I really wish there
was another way. Even though I won't be around (mentally, anyway), I will
miss you guys. You are truly the best thing that happened to me.
Love always,
Rogue
"Well, that was interesting. That explains why I'm so tired."
"Is that all you can say? After all that? After all she just
said?" asked Kitty.
"What else would you like me to say? That I forgive her? That
I feel sorry for her or for you? You seem to be forgetting that I'm the
victim here."
"Oh, get over yourself," Jean said.
"All right, that's ENOUGH!"
Everyone turned suddenly to Professor Xavier. They had never heard him
yell like that.
"We've all had a hard day, but we still need to get Carol settled in and
acquainted with things for school tomorrow."
"School?! What are you talking about? I'm not going to school.
I'm a college student, remember? I don't belong in high school!"
"I'm afraid you'll have to go until we can sort things out. It would
raise too much suspicion if you were to suddenly stop coming to school, and the
last thing we need is an investigation here. I'll arrange things so you
can be 'home-schooled', but that process may take some time."
"This can't be happening…"
"Here is Rogue's schedule. Scott and the others will go with you
early tomorrow to show you where your classes are. I'm going to call the
school and excuse you from any exams or quizzes. However, there still
lies the problem with your accent."
"What about my accent?"
"Well, Rogue had a southern accent."
"Are you telling me I'm going to have to 'Tawk lahke thais' and say things
like 'sugah' the whole day?"
"Not quite. But, yes you will have to talk with a southern
accent. I'll be helping you with that and with anything else you may need
help with."
Carol sighed. "And just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse."
