Family Matters

By Aurora

Chapter 6

Too stunned to speak she turned on her heel and fled. Far away from that office she fled. About 5 steps away from the door the first sob tore from her throat. She tried to cover them up as much as possible as she made her way to she didn't know where. Eventually she ended up in front of Remus' office. It had been his idea anyway. She knocked hurriedly and as he opened the door she pushed her way inside before he could say a word.

"Hermione? What…what happened?"

She sat in the chair by the window and wiped her eyes. She took a moment to breathe and calm herself.

"I went to see him, as you instructed."

He was confused.

"And he made you cry?"

"Yes…no…ok both!"

She threw up her hands in exasperation.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Ok why would he make you cry? Didn't he…well you didn't try to..."

"What Remus! I went to him. I asked him why he was mad at me. He told me I was selfish. He got extremely upset at me because apparently I caused him and everyone else so much pain when I left."

"Of course you did Hermione! He was in anguish for days and days! He looked for you for a very long time. We tried to console him, but he didn't get any better. He felt responsible in some ways because he wasn't there for you that time. Then one day he came to breakfast as if nothing happened. We never understood what made the change. It just happened."

It was her turn to be confused.

" He said he blocked the memories but…Why all the concern for me?"

Remus took her hand.

"Well that would explain the sudden change. Don't be silly Hermione. You know he cared about you! I mean, remember when we were fighting against the second wave of deatheaters and you broke your ankle? How he carried you all the way back to Hogwarts and healed you himself since Poppy was still out in the field tending to others?"

She wrinkled her forehead.

"Or the countless times he would go with you whenever you went to fight, always to make sure you came back ok. Kind of as your protector?"

The confusion must have been leaping from her face because Lupin grasped her hands more firmly.

"Think Hermione. Remember."

She began to replay the memories of that time in her head. Severus' smiling face. Helping her. Always there for her. Little hints here. Litter hints there. Of course she had cared for him, but was it like that? Was that why she was so comfortable with him? Why this bothered her so much now? So much pain in his eyes…

But nothing of what Lupin spoke of.

"Remus, I don't have those memories. I don't understand. Obviously you remember and Severus remembers but I don't. Do you have a pensieve? Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough?" she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"You really don't remember do you?"

She shook her head.

He moved to take the pensieve from his shelf and set it in front of her.

"Think of the tine I spoke of first Hermione. The second battle."

She thought and put the tip of her wand to her head, pulling the silver strand from her head to the basin.

Together they looked at the strand of memory and both looked at each other the moment they saw the gaps.

"Hermione, I think you may have obliviated the memories. There's no other explanation. The memories just aren't here."

"Why would I do that?" she whispered.

"I can't answer that. But if you want, we can reverse it and I can sit right here with you as it all comes back. Kind of as a support group."

She looked at him and thought slowly before nodding her head.

He muttered the needed words, placing the strands of memories back inside and then muttering the words to release the banished ones.

She closed her eyes unconsciously as it came back.

Snape laughed. Genuinely laughed and his smile reached his eyes.

She would remember that moment forever, she thought as she began to laugh too.

She regained consciousness and realized she was being carried. She looked up at the hard face of Severus Snape and then down at the pain at her ankle. Silence was all that was needed then as he hurried back after the second battle that they barely won.

He laid her on the table in the infirmary and summoned potions and blankets and other medical necessities.

He had her clutch his shoulder as he put the ankle back into place and she remembered biting her tongue instead of crying out. She remembered the rush of blood in her mouth.

He gave her a glass to spit in, somehow knowing what she had done. He then set the break and had her drink some steaming Skele-gro, which burnt worse than anything she had ever drank in her life. She remembered the sharp pains in her ankle for the some 8 hours it took for the potion to work properly. He had stayed there the entire time, holding her hand. When she had woken up from sleep she had still found him there, watching over her.

More images flashed before her of them fighting together, both watching each other's tails. Some of them caused the softest looks to form on her face. But the one that made the tears fall was of the night before the big day, when they ended up defeating Voldemort. The day she would leave it all behind.

They were eating dinner in the great hall. It was full of students. The school year was over, but Hogwarts was still the safest place for them. There was a silence in the room except for the occasional clang and clatter of forks and knives meeting plates. Hermione sat at the High Table along with Harry, Ron, Draco, and Neville. They were the graduated students from Hogwarts fighting in the war. They spent this last meal before the big battle together. After dinner, they all (those at the high table) went to a meeting with Dumbledore. He exchanged encouraging words and glances to everyone before bidding them goodnight. Afterwards, Hermione had gone for a walk with Snape. They had just walked, to nowhere in particular, and eventually made it to the Astronomy Tower. They stood there together, looking at the stars.

"With how sad steps, O Moon, thou climb'st the skies." he spoke softly staring at the bright orb in the sky.

"Sidney correct?" she asked.

He nodded.

She looked at him then and found him staring intently at her.

"Tomorrow will come too soon." she whispered.

"Indeed it will" he replied, pushing her hair behind her ear.

As his hand rounded the back of her ear it came up to cup her face.

"You haven't been feeling well." he spoke, rubbing his thumb along her jaw line.

"It's nothing. I think it's just nerves."

He pulled her into his embrace.

"You know that tomorrow I have to lead Draco and Neville's group, right?" he spoke into her ear.

"I know. "she said, burying her face in his chest.

He pulled away from her a moment to study her face.

"Hermione…I…"

"Shh…" she said, placing a finger on his mouth to stop him.

She replaced her finger with her mouth and kissed him gently.

He quickly gathered her in his arms again, kissed the top of her head while swaying back and forth.

They had awoken the next morning in each others arms, having rested together.*

The tears were flowing now.

"Shh…Hermione, what do you see?" asked Remus.

"Everything! I see everything!" she cried helplessly.

She took a breath to calm herself.

"After I miscarried the baby and ran away, I got home to my apartment. When I went to my bed, I remembered Severus. What we had…Merlin, what had I done? I had run away not thinking of anyone but me! And then I remembered it all. I knew I couldn't go back so I obliviated the memories to stop the pain. Oh Remus! How could I have?"

She put her head in her hands then and wept.

Remus put his arms around her and hugged her.

"It's ok. You made a mistake. You can still try to fix it."

"But he hates me. Don't you see? He doesn't want anything to do with me now."

She sniffed loudly and Remus offered his handkerchief.

"Now that I know he loves me." she whispered.

And that I love him, she thought.

REVIEW!!! PLz!!!

* They didn't "sleep together". They actually just slept.

Also, I must give Sir Philip Sidney credit for the line "With how sad steps, O Moon, thou climb'st the skies." Its from Astrophel and Stella XXXI  The whole sonnet is this:

1 With how sad steps, O Moon, thou climb'st the skies!
2 How silently, and with how wan a face!
3 What, may it be that even in heav'nly place
4 That busy archer his sharp arrows tries!
5 Sure, if that long-with love-acquainted eyes
6 Can judge of love, thou feel'st a lover's case,
7 I read it in thy looks; thy languish'd grace
8 To me, that feel the like, thy state descries.
9 Then, ev'n of fellowship, O Moon, tell me,
10 Is constant love deem'd there but want of wit?
11 Are beauties there as proud as here they be?
12 Do they above love to be lov'd, and yet
13 Those lovers scorn whom that love doth possess?
14 Do they call virtue there ungratefulness?