Days Go By a Shinji and Kaworu song-fic by AngelDragon

Disclaimer: I own this fic, not them. (but they belong to each other)

Notes: This is the set up: Kaworu & Shinji have been together for about 5 years. Kaworu died last year, after suffering from a painful disease. A/U & if ep. 24 & EOE never occurred. If you can't handle the fact that Kaworu & Shinji are gay in my stories.. kindly piss off. If you can handle it, then by all means, read on. (this is to the Dirty Vegas song & I don't own that, either)I wrote this at 3:00 am when I was feeling rather reflective. R & R, onegai?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* You are still a whisper on my lips A feeling at my fingertips That's pulling at my skin ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The morning sun rained down on Shinji through the bedroom window, hitting him in the eyes as he rolled over and groaned. Please, just let me go back to sleep. I have no reason to wake up today. Pulling the comforter over his face, he tried to fall asleep to the soft rumble of the air conditioner. His clock radio begged to differ. It clicked on and a soft rock song he'd heard many times before came to his ears.

Damn.This was on the radio that night..he thought.

He slapped off the mindless thing with a clumsy hand as he pulled down the blanket. He blinked and squinted as the small prism that was the ring on his left finger caught the sunlight. He sat up, alone in the soft fabric and queen-size bed and played with it, making the tiny facets dance in the rays. He sent them flickering off the walls and his face, smiling sadly as he watched them.

I got this that night, too.. along with a few other things

As he touched the cool silver around the precious little stone, he could almost feel the fingers of the one who'd slipped it on over a year ago and began to cry, all over again. He'd gone to sleep crying last night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* You leave me when I'm at my worst Feeling as if I've been cursed Bitter cold within ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Flashback to that night

Soft candlelight flickering throughout the nice apartment.

A burned CD of favorite music on the stereo.

A dinner of slightly ginger-tasting yakisoba with miso soup and inari sushi and a little sake to sip all prepared by loving hands.

Hands that would soon be giving a special gift to the one he held most dear.

Shinji had just come home from school to be greeted by this scene and with his gray-haired Angel dressed in a silk shirt the color of his eyes, a rich red that seemed to flow over his arms and chest in the quiet lighting. The only other things he wore were a pair of form-fitting black jeans and a smile as he beckoned Shinji to the set up table.

Perplexed yet happy, Shinji had followed after taking off his shoes. He was blushing as his love pulled out his chair for him. They sat together and Shinji asks what the occasion is. His charming dinner companion replies, "Do I need an occasion to pamper you, Shinji?" with a coy smile.

Shinji chuckles and scratches at the back of his head, saying, "I guess not, if it's what you feel like doing."

The hour goes by and they talk, laughing as they feed each other little bites with their chopsticks and sip lightly from tiny, shared sake cups, lttle more than seashells in their delicate fingers. After dinner, Shinji starts to get up to help clear the table, but is stopped by gentle, firm hands on his shoulders. Kaworu turns to Shinji, as he stands tall.

"They can wait, but I can't anymore, koi,"he said, softly.

Shinji smiled as he raised a dark brow. His insides fluttered; his love had such a silky voice. He felt his body respond to that magic voice and welcomed it. He was almost embarrassed to admit that he swore he'd had an orgasm just by hearing Kaworu speak softly to him in their bed one night. Remembering always made him blush and his breath catch in his throat.

Shinji watched the tapered fingers enter a pocket and withdraw a small, dark box. A present? he'd thought. This dinner and whatever's on his mind right now are enough. He didn't have to buy me anything. Fascinated, he watched Kaworu as he'd gotten down on one knee in front of him and opened the box. Shinji's eyes widened as it was presented to him, a hopeful look and a lopsided grin on his love's face.

"I kneel before you, oh conqueror of my heart,"he'd said with a little laugh.

What a line! Shinji'd thought. How corny, but he says it with meaning, anyway.

"Will you honor a humbled, fallen Angel with a vow, Shinji?" Kaworu asked softly.

Shinji blinked and raised a brow. "Are - are you serious?"

With a totally straight face that let his eyes echo his thought, Kaworu said, "Completely.Will you, koibito? Itsumo?"

Shinji didn't need to think about it as he leaned forward, tears sliding down as he took Kaworu's face in his hands and kissed him deeply in response. Before he'd broken it, he'd felt cool hands pull his left hand away, to gently slide the ring onto the designated finger..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Days go by and still I think of you Days when I couldn't live my life without you Days go by and still I think of you ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Slowly coming back to reality, Shinji wiped his eyes and hugged himself while trying to slow his breathing down. So hard, these days, so hard. Especially today..He crawled out of the bed he'd once shared, not wearing a thing and dragged himself to the bathroom to drown his sorrows in the shower. As he felt the hot water flowing over him and ran his fingers through his dark, soapy hair, he closed his eyes. He imagined Kaworu was there with him, doing the washing.

After he dried off, brushed his teeth and combed out his hair, he dressed up in jeans and a button-down shirt, then went to the living room. Set up in a corner was a special Shinto shrine to Kaworu.Shinji stood before the two-tiered, low table and closed his eyes. He bowed his head and clapped his hands together twice at chest height for Kaworu's spirit; the kashiwade.

He lit the incense and made fresh offerings of flowers, then knelt on the cushion to regard the framed picture with the black cloth band across an upper corner of it. He reached out to touch the glass and smile sadly again.

"Well, Kaworu.I can't believe it's been a year since you've been gone."He played at the ring again. "And almost two since you.. since you proposed to me." He bowed his head, letting the musky scent of the incense waft over him. "Kami-sama, how I miss you. Ai shiteru, Kaworu.Itsumo.."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* You are still a whisper on my lips A feeling at my fingertips That's pulling at my skin ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*OWARI*