Mulder was sweating. He stared at the screen, where there were pictures of four chairs. One was red. But which was it???
Suddenly, in ran Scully. She saw the screen.
"Mulder, it's a trick! There is no red object! They're all green!"
With that, Mulder turned towards Alex. He grabbed a nearby weapon, and figured out how to work it. He set it to stun and shot Alex.
"Oh my kartzblethathlg! What have you done to The Great, Beautiful, Worshipful, Amazing, Majestic, Wonderful, Kind, Merciful, Perfect One?"
"Who?" said Mulder and Scully in unison.
Karzelltath rolled all of his eyes. He spoke in an annoyed tone
"Alex Trebek." he said.
"Oh not much. Don't worry, he'll get better!" said Mulder.
"Good! We can't continue with the invasion-"
"INVASION?!?" asked the startled agents.
"Yes, the invasion of Earth. We… uh-oh, I don't think I was supposed to tell you about that! Um, you can forget that, right?"
"No way! We're not going to just stand by while you invade our planet! We need to stop you!" said Scully.
"It wasn't my idea! Leave me alone and I'll help you!"
A sudden voice came from the other side of the throne room. Mulder and Scully recognized it almost instantly.
"Not so fast!"
"What are you doing here? How did you know we needed help? How did you get here?" asked Scully.
"Did you know about the plot before? Does this have anything to do with the monkey babies of Eddie Van Blundht? Was I right after all? Are you in on the conspiracy? Do you know if there is a bathroom around here? I really gotta go!" asked Mulder.
The newcomer didn't answer. Instead, he pulled out a gun and shot at some of Karzelltath's heads. Then he reloaded and shot some more of them. He did this several times. When he was done, Karzelltath had only twenty heads left. Karzelltath teetered at this loss, and fainted.
"So, answer our questions please!" said Scully.
"Yeah!" said Mulder "What are you doing here? How did you know we needed help? How did you get here? Did you know about the plot before? Does this have anything to do with the monkey babies of Eddie Van Blundht? Was I right after all? Are you in on the conspiracy? And most importantly, do you know if there is a bathroom around here? I really, really have to go!"
"Mulder- do the world a favor- SHUT UP!!" said an irritated Scully.
"But I DO have to go! When nature calls, you can't just take a message!"
"Down the hall and to the right. Third door on the left, middle stall is for humans." said their rescuer.
"So why are you here, Skinner?"
"We've known about the invasion for some time. Our plan was to annoy Alex Trebek until he went crazy. In that case, the invasion would have to be stopped. We have been monitoring him. His stress is getting very high. We were hoping he would go crazy before Friday, but it wasn't going so well. He seems to get harder to annoy every day! And our tactics were amazingly annoying- not only did we annoy ourselves, we annoyed every man, woman and child that was ever exposed to our plans. It was amazingly-"
"Annoying?" said Scully helpfully
"Oh yeah. We almost went crazy before him!"
"So how were you monitoring him? Isn't this a spaceship? How could you see him?"
"We put teeny, tiny cameras in the tag on the mattress that you can't remove."
"Told you so!" said Mulder, who had just returned.
"So what were these amazingly annoying tactics?" asked Scully, ignoring him.
"Don't you see? CELEBRITY JEOPARDY! We paid celebrities to go on the show and answer as stupidly as they could. I think they did a good bad job!"
"I agree!" said Scully.
"So how did you get up here?" asked Mulder.
" I'll answer that!" came another mysterious voice, also recognized immediately by the agents.
"Wow! Is everyone we know going to show up?" asked Scully.
"No, just us." said Krycek.
"Wrong again!" came a chorus of voices.
"Oh no! The EVES!" said Mulder.
"GGGRRRRRAAAAA!" said something else.
All of them turned. It was the Jersey Devil, who was followed closely by Flukeman, several Grays, Duane Barry, the alien bounty hunter, and Max Fenig.
"Max! Thank goodness, someone we don't hate! Except you, of course, Assistant Director." said Mulder.
This, it seemed, was not to be. Mulder and Scully saw the black film pass over his eyes. He was infected with the oil!
From the other door entered more of Mulder and Scully's old acquaintances. B.J. Morrow, Eugene Tooms, Eddie Van Blundht, the Conundrum, Robert Modell, Jose Chung, Eladio and Soledad Buentes, Leonard Betts, the Great Mutato, Gibson Praise…
"BAMBI!" shouted Mulder.
Scully kicked him in the shins.
"SHERIFF HARWELL!" she said suddenly, even happier than Mulder had been.
Mulder tried to kick her in the shins, but she grabbed his ankle and flipped him onto the ground.
"Hold on, what's happening here?" asked Skinner.
"We're gonna dance the night away!" shouted everyone but Krycek, Mulder and Scully.
With that, music started playing. They all formed a huge conga line. Skinner, Krycek, Mulder and Scully shrugged and joined in.

*********************************************************************************************

Chris Carter woke up. He blinked several times. What an odd dream!
"Okay… no more Taco Bell at three a.m.!!"

THE END
(thank God!)