**This chapter might be a little sad cuz I'm a little sad right now. It
might not be.I haven't really decided yet. I'll just see how it goes I
guess**
Modesty looked down at the blood that poured out of her wrists. Nothing was going right. She leaned her head against her headboard. Hopefully they found her body before it began to rot.
"That's why you're doing it in your room dumbass."
She smiled at her own thought. Yeah, that was why she was doing it in her room. Why not? She wanted people to know who she was when her body was found. She wanted to give everyone the satisfaction of knowing she had finally cracked and died.
~~~~
Jeff sighed and looked over at Matt. Matt had his head in his hands.
"Matty?" Jeff asked.
"What?" Matt asked and looked at Jeff.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Matt asked. Jeff wiped his eyes.
"Why is everything going wrong?"
"I don't know Jeff."
"Matt we've never had it easy! Mom died when we were young, we work in a fucking tobacco field.tobacco gives cancer which is what mom died from so we're killing other people's mothers! Ah now we finally get pushed closer to wrestling and what do I do? I get everyone hooked on drugs so now we're ruined. Shane got arrested earlier. Do you know how fucked we are? When dad finds out we're dead Matt! DEAD!" Jeff screamed.
"Jeff we're not killing people. We never shoved a cigarette into anyone's mouth."
"Matt! Why don't you understand? Are you fucking blind? Let me spell it out for you! OUR LIVES ARE FALLING APART BEFORE OUR EYES!" Jeff screamed. Matt jumped up and got in Jeff's face.
"You think I don't see it Jeff?" He screamed. "Huh? You think I'm blind? No Jeff I DO see it! But I can't break down. I can't cry. Do you know why Jeff? Because I can't! You kidding me? I break down; our whole fucking group falls apart because I seem to be the one who holds everything together."
"WE ALREADY FELL APART! SHANE'S IN JAIL!" Jeff screamed and sat back down. Matt leaned his head against the wall. There was a light knock on the door and Matt and Jeff's dad walked in.
"Boys, Modesty's mother just called me. Modesty's in the hospital." Gilbert said.
"What?" Matt asked.
"She slit her wrists and tried to kill herself."
"Can we go see her?" Jeff asked.
"I don't think they'll let us in. But we can try if you want."
"I want to."
"Me too." Matt said.
"Alright boys get in the car. By the way, I know what happened to Shane." Gilbert said and turned and left. Matt and Jeff stared at each other.
~~~~~
Shane sat in the backseat of his parent's car. Neither his mom nor dad had said anything since they picked him up from the jail. And Shane hated that. He would rather be screamed at then sit in silence. At least if he screamed he knew he was in trouble. He didn't know what silence meant.
"Are you mad?" Shane asked. Shane's dad hit the steering wheel.
"Yes Shane, we're mad. Not so much mad, more disappointed." He answered. Shane sighed.
"I'm sorry dad. I.I just don't know what happened to me."
"It's your sorry group of friends."
"Dad you can't blame them for decisions I made."
"I know Shane. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too."
"We're going to drop you off at the hospital." His mom said.
"Why?" Shane asked.
"Modesty's there. She slit her wrists."
"Is she ok?"
"She'll live."
~~~~~~
"Hey Shane." Danni, a short girl with brown hair said. Shane smiled.
"Hey sexy." Shane said. It was five weeks later. Everyone was back in school and acting like nothing had ever happened.
"Thank you for last night." She smiled.
"Anytime. And I mean that." He said and walked away.
~~~~~~
Modesty stared at the marks on her wrists. They would probably be there a long time to haunt her. But that was ok. She did more drugs to take her mind off them. Shane started doing them again too. Jeff had stopped, Matt almost did. Shannon was never really into them to begin with. He just continued to do weed.
"You guys are seriously fucked up." Amy said and sat next to Amy on the bench in the hallway. Modesty looked up at her.
"What?"
"You guys are great wrestlers but you're messing with drugs. The only place you'll get with drugs is six feet under the ground. Then Shane gets arrested for drugs, and you try to kill yourself. Now everyone's acting like everything is fine when it's really not."
"So?"
"So? So maybe ya'll should try to get help. Maybe ya'll should talk about stuff inside of pretending it never happened."
"It did never happen. We're not all great wrestlers, the guys are. I can't wrestle. Shane didn't get arrested for drugs; he got arrested because he was caught. And I never tried to kill myself. I just cut myself."
"Do you believe that?"
"Yes."
"I feel bad for you." Amy said and walked away.
~~~~~~
Modesty looked at Shane straight in the eyes.
"I just want you to know that I know what you're doing." She said.
"What?" Shane asked and leaned back on Modesty's couch.
"I know you're sleeping around."
"Are you going to leave me?"
"That's what you want, isn't it?"
"No."
"Then why are you sleeping around?"
"I don't know."
"Shane you're impossible to talk to! Do you realize that?"
"I love you Modesty."
"No. No you don't." She said and walked in the kitchen. Shane followed her.
"I do. I really love you."
"Shane you do not!"
"I do!"
"If you do why are you cheating on me?"
"I'm sorry Modesty! I'll never do it again! I promise." Shane cried. Modesty hugged him.
"It's ok hunny. I forgive you." She said. Shane smiled behind her back.
Modesty looked down at the blood that poured out of her wrists. Nothing was going right. She leaned her head against her headboard. Hopefully they found her body before it began to rot.
"That's why you're doing it in your room dumbass."
She smiled at her own thought. Yeah, that was why she was doing it in her room. Why not? She wanted people to know who she was when her body was found. She wanted to give everyone the satisfaction of knowing she had finally cracked and died.
~~~~
Jeff sighed and looked over at Matt. Matt had his head in his hands.
"Matty?" Jeff asked.
"What?" Matt asked and looked at Jeff.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Matt asked. Jeff wiped his eyes.
"Why is everything going wrong?"
"I don't know Jeff."
"Matt we've never had it easy! Mom died when we were young, we work in a fucking tobacco field.tobacco gives cancer which is what mom died from so we're killing other people's mothers! Ah now we finally get pushed closer to wrestling and what do I do? I get everyone hooked on drugs so now we're ruined. Shane got arrested earlier. Do you know how fucked we are? When dad finds out we're dead Matt! DEAD!" Jeff screamed.
"Jeff we're not killing people. We never shoved a cigarette into anyone's mouth."
"Matt! Why don't you understand? Are you fucking blind? Let me spell it out for you! OUR LIVES ARE FALLING APART BEFORE OUR EYES!" Jeff screamed. Matt jumped up and got in Jeff's face.
"You think I don't see it Jeff?" He screamed. "Huh? You think I'm blind? No Jeff I DO see it! But I can't break down. I can't cry. Do you know why Jeff? Because I can't! You kidding me? I break down; our whole fucking group falls apart because I seem to be the one who holds everything together."
"WE ALREADY FELL APART! SHANE'S IN JAIL!" Jeff screamed and sat back down. Matt leaned his head against the wall. There was a light knock on the door and Matt and Jeff's dad walked in.
"Boys, Modesty's mother just called me. Modesty's in the hospital." Gilbert said.
"What?" Matt asked.
"She slit her wrists and tried to kill herself."
"Can we go see her?" Jeff asked.
"I don't think they'll let us in. But we can try if you want."
"I want to."
"Me too." Matt said.
"Alright boys get in the car. By the way, I know what happened to Shane." Gilbert said and turned and left. Matt and Jeff stared at each other.
~~~~~
Shane sat in the backseat of his parent's car. Neither his mom nor dad had said anything since they picked him up from the jail. And Shane hated that. He would rather be screamed at then sit in silence. At least if he screamed he knew he was in trouble. He didn't know what silence meant.
"Are you mad?" Shane asked. Shane's dad hit the steering wheel.
"Yes Shane, we're mad. Not so much mad, more disappointed." He answered. Shane sighed.
"I'm sorry dad. I.I just don't know what happened to me."
"It's your sorry group of friends."
"Dad you can't blame them for decisions I made."
"I know Shane. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too."
"We're going to drop you off at the hospital." His mom said.
"Why?" Shane asked.
"Modesty's there. She slit her wrists."
"Is she ok?"
"She'll live."
~~~~~~
"Hey Shane." Danni, a short girl with brown hair said. Shane smiled.
"Hey sexy." Shane said. It was five weeks later. Everyone was back in school and acting like nothing had ever happened.
"Thank you for last night." She smiled.
"Anytime. And I mean that." He said and walked away.
~~~~~~
Modesty stared at the marks on her wrists. They would probably be there a long time to haunt her. But that was ok. She did more drugs to take her mind off them. Shane started doing them again too. Jeff had stopped, Matt almost did. Shannon was never really into them to begin with. He just continued to do weed.
"You guys are seriously fucked up." Amy said and sat next to Amy on the bench in the hallway. Modesty looked up at her.
"What?"
"You guys are great wrestlers but you're messing with drugs. The only place you'll get with drugs is six feet under the ground. Then Shane gets arrested for drugs, and you try to kill yourself. Now everyone's acting like everything is fine when it's really not."
"So?"
"So? So maybe ya'll should try to get help. Maybe ya'll should talk about stuff inside of pretending it never happened."
"It did never happen. We're not all great wrestlers, the guys are. I can't wrestle. Shane didn't get arrested for drugs; he got arrested because he was caught. And I never tried to kill myself. I just cut myself."
"Do you believe that?"
"Yes."
"I feel bad for you." Amy said and walked away.
~~~~~~
Modesty looked at Shane straight in the eyes.
"I just want you to know that I know what you're doing." She said.
"What?" Shane asked and leaned back on Modesty's couch.
"I know you're sleeping around."
"Are you going to leave me?"
"That's what you want, isn't it?"
"No."
"Then why are you sleeping around?"
"I don't know."
"Shane you're impossible to talk to! Do you realize that?"
"I love you Modesty."
"No. No you don't." She said and walked in the kitchen. Shane followed her.
"I do. I really love you."
"Shane you do not!"
"I do!"
"If you do why are you cheating on me?"
"I'm sorry Modesty! I'll never do it again! I promise." Shane cried. Modesty hugged him.
"It's ok hunny. I forgive you." She said. Shane smiled behind her back.
