A/N Well Well Well. Here we are, updated. Be warned: Captain Falcon shows signs of humanity, emotion, and unprettiness. If this is too much for you to bear, then I suggest you turn back now. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write an epic limerick?!

-------------------------------------Captain Falcon: A Legend Relived

Dearest Cappie would start his day soon

He was up and dressed; it was only noon!

A primp and a prink

Over the bathroom sink

About which cosmetics and clothing were strewn.



Cappie wandered about, now fully delicious,

His panties in a bundle to do something vicious.

He scanned for a victim

And heard a dictum

From a voice on his shoulder that was quite surreptitious.



"You can't do this!" cried the winged hallucination.

"'Tis not right merely because it causes thee elation!"

"What about that poor soul

Over whose fate you take control

That does not wish to be part of your combination!"



This had never occurred to Cappie before!

Or perhaps it was something he chose to ignore.

But he was sure that he had read

He was SURE someone had said

His motto. "All the world's a whore!"



To add to his confusion Cappie soon saw

Another little feller to lay down the law

"Don't let Bernie tear you apart!

That ugly little bleeding heart."

Cappie stood, drooling in awe.



"If frequent casual sex is what you need

While your partner flies, flaming, with speed,

Then go to it, man!

You, with your muscles and tan

Who wouldn't want such a manly steed?!"



Cappie was frustrated, needless to say.

He was raping carelessly yesterday!

Suddenly he felt remorse.

This was very ugly, of course

So he sent Bernir flaming into the gray.



Cappie decided his conscious was overrated.

It was a manifestation that he hated.

To rape or not to rape

Put him in quite a scrape

And never again was it something he debated.