Author's Note: Finally, we have reached the end and I'll be able to get a full night's sleep again! ~laughs~ Now you all know how I wrote so fast! Pure obsession.... This has been the easiest story to write I've ever had, and I'm not entirely sure why. It just flowed so easily from the time Eriol told Syaoran to wait a little until--now. Some day, if people ask nice enough, I may write a sequel to this. There is a story that follows this waiting to happen, I just haven't asked what it is yet. This particular story is at an end though, and I'm both saddened and relieved. I'll miss it, but I have other stories to tell as well.
Thank you one and all for sticking with my story from the bitter beginning to the bittersweet end. This is for all my reviewers up 'till now: Askani Blue, Fuu, L-Chan, Lady Kazuni Kikenshi, Shadow Katana, Six Underground, x2Angelofdeath, Naomi Hunter, Pink Cherry Blossom, Amalthea, CinC, Cora Joy, and Emily-chan. I've gotten more reviews for this than I've ever gotten for anything--so I must be doing *something* right. To everyone who will leave a review after I have posted this last chapter, I want to give you a heart-felt thank you as well. I may be at the end of this journey, but there are still many paths to walk, and you make each step that much easier. Thank you for reading.
Solace
Comfort
Syaoran gave Eriol's hand a nervous squeeze in return as his mother pierced him with her sharpest gaze. He had never felt so nervous, but he tried to keep the words of advice Yue had given him firmly in mind. This could just be a test to see if Syaoran was worthy of leading the Li Clan--it could be her way of assuring herself that he would do what it took to do his duty. In the end though, he had to make the decision he could live with and live with the consequences, no matter what. He hoped it was a test, but it didn't matter one way or the other because he had made a choice and would now stick to it.
"Does this mean you have reached your decision?"
"Yes Mother, it does. Eriol is the one I love and want to spend the rest of my life with."
"What about children? What about strengthening the Clan? What about upholding tradition?"
"Each of those questions weigh heavily on my mind. I don't yet have all the answers, but I will be better able to find those answers with someone I love and trust by my side. Though, about upholding tradition--some traditions are more important than others." The last sentence he added softly, unsure to what extent he meant it or how his mother would take it.
Li Yelan simply nodded, looking as regal as ever. "Indeed, some traditions are more important than others. Especially when it comes to magic. It is up to you to weigh their importance now, I have done the best I could with what I was given. I hope you will be the same."
"Mother?"
"You don't remember your father, but he questioned many things also. He made many mistakes at first, and learned from them. When the burden fell on my shoulders I had learned from his mistakes as well, seeing them as his equal and confidante. The training and teaching I have given you has been as a superior, so you must take what I have given you and give it shape and form as you will. I am done, this is no longer my burden to bear, though I will gladly give you what advice you need."
"Yue-san was right--"
Eriol cocked his head to the side, then smiled knowingly. "He usually is, but what about this time?"
"Sakura-chan made me call him for advice," Syaoran admitted, blushing. "He helped me realize that I couldn't look at this in black and white--and that I should follow my heart."
Yelan nodded. "Great leaders seek great advisors." Her face then broke out in the first genuine smile Syaoran could remember her wearing. "The path you have chosen will not be an easy one, but I am happy to see that you have surrounded yourself with good and wise friends. The elders would have been much more pleased if you had decided to marry Sakura since any children the two of you had would be bound to have very strong magic. That is no longer a concern though, so we must accept the present as it stands."
Tomoyo stepped forward hesitantly at this point, bursting with the need to say something. Still, she was very formal as she addressed Syaoran's mother. "Li-sama, if I may say something?"
"Daidouji-san, I am most interested in what you have to say." Yelan gave her a knowing smile, sending Syaoran into a spiral of confusion.
"Sakura-chan and I have been looking into having a child as well, and I have looked into many modern methods. It may still be within the realm of possibility, if--" Tomoyo broke off, looking back and forth between Sakura and Syaoran.
Yelan simply nodded, but Syaoran suspected that while he had been busy with Eriol the women had already hammered this out behind his back. "That is a possibility," she said, looking at her son and Eriol for reactions. "It is something that must be discussed another day though. Children are a great commitment, and my son has only just found his heart. I would like to simply celebrate their happiness today; the responsibilities of tomorrow will come soon enough."
Syaoran laughed, deciding to play along with their game. "At least we know that the possibility is open, so that's one less thing to worry about." Sure enough, a look of triumph reached the faces of the women to varying degrees. This much had been discussed and set up ahead of time. He shook his head, then turned to Eriol to see his reaction.
The same patient amusement that drove Syaoran crazy years ago had returned to Eriol's countenance. This time it just drove him crazy in a different way. "It is always good to be aware of the options," he said with a sparkle in his eye. "The scientific methods would probably be a lot easier than the magical solution Clow Reed had to find too. It was costly and took a lot of energy."
Syaoran gasped. "There is a spell for that?"
Eriol chuckled, raising Syaoran's hand to his lips as he murmured softly, "Yue was a very demanding, insecure, and jealous lover--and Clow Reed felt it was his duty to beget an heir. This is hardly the first time the Li Clan has faced this particular dilemma. I think I must be a bad influence."
Syaoran tried to listen, but he was distracted by the weakness in his knees and the stirring in his--heart as silken lips brushed across the back of his hand. The intimate gesture and the look in Eriol's deep blue-gray eyes as he did it set Syaoran's skin on fire all over. He swallowed, hard, blinking as he tried to keep his eyes from glazing over.
The girlish titters from behind him turned the flush of pleasure into a blush of embarrassment as he realized that they still had an audience. It was going to take a great effort of will not to lose himself in emotion at moments like this. He wondered if anyone truly possessed that much willpower.
~~~~~@~~~~~
New Year's Eve:
"I'll have to say this--it was one of the most interesting years of my life." Syaoran and Eriol cuddled on the couch in Eriol's mansion in Tomoeda, watching the fire roar in the fireplace before them. "Painful and wonderful all rolled in to twelve short months."
Syaoran just shrugged, sipping his hot chocolate and then giving Eriol a smile that sent shivers through him. "It hasn't exactly been a happily ever after, but I guess this as close as life can actually give us."
"We make our own happily ever after. Just because it's hard work doesn't mean we haven't reached it." He smiled at Syaoran with all the happiness of his soul, wrapping an arm around his love and finding a sense of completeness in the action. It just felt so right to hold the other mage so close, being able to share all aspects of his life with the one he loved. He hadn't been able to do that to this degree before, in either lifetime.
The look of happiness that Syaoran wore these days told Eriol that he wasn't alone in this feeling. They had found true love, the kind that only happened once in a lifetime if you were lucky. All the heartache, all the confusion, everything they had been through was worth it in the end.
"Everyone will be here for the party soon. We should finish getting ready."
"Relax, love. Between Ruby and Spinel there's nothing left to worry about. I promise."
Syaoran chuckled. "I never thought I'd admit this, but those two are growing on me. They're perfect guardians for you."
Eriol just grinned. "I'm so glad they finally have your approval."
"Sorry...I just, I thought Ruby-chan was the most annoying creature ever at first. Then I realized that she would just do anything to cheer you up, even at the expense of her dignity. I can't fault her for that."
"Li-san!!! I didn't know you cared!" Eriol managed to barely get away as his enthusiastic moon guardian glomped Syaoran. "I'm so glad I got you two back together! Mizuki-san was never as much fun, she just ignored me." She pouted cutely, making Eriol laugh despite himself.
"I take it back! You are still annoying!!! Get off of me!"
Syaoran kept pretending to be annoyed beyond belief while Ruby Moon played at being both hurt and flattered. Eriol laughed, seeing through them both enough to know that as long as they bickered everything was fine between them. Syaoran was right--a lot of Ruby's enthusiasm stemmed from her desire to make him happy. When he had created Ruby and Spinel he had been very sad and lonely. They had become more than just guardians, they had been his best friends. Eriol didn't think anyone would be able to understand that, but Syaoran had just surprised him by coming to that conclusion on his own.
Eriol's laughter reached a peak and the other two exchanged a triumphant smile. "Don't. Ever. Change. Either of you." He gave them each a hug, then ran off to answer the door a moment before the doorbell rang. He couldn't think of many times in his life that he had been happier, and each of those times also included Syaoran.
~~~~~@~~~~~
Syaoran couldn't stop smiling. It seemed like everything was working out for everyone. Meilin was the only person at the party without a date, but she had been babbling away all evening in English with Eriol, trying to master the complicated language before she left for America. Syaoran had tried to keep up, but there were a lot of other things he had to concentrate on lately and Meilin was now so fluent that when she spoke with Eriol, Syaoran could only recognize one in five words. She would be chasing after her own happily ever after soon to surprise David Tatom and prove just how much he meant to her. They had continued writing since he had returned to his home, and they were just growing more deeply in love.
Sakura was glowing with happiness, showing off Tomoyo's latest dress with more confidence than she had ever shown before. They were leaving town tomorrow night to go on a romantic vacation since their anniversary was in only a few days.
Happiness flowed through the room, giving everyone the promise of a grand new year ahead.
Syaoran smiled gently before he slipped upstairs and then out on the balcony to think. The night was overcast as he stepped outside, giving a hint of texture to the darkness. Small flakes of snow fell gently, and when they caught the light from inside it seemed they became small stars to make up for the ones hidden by the blanket of clouds.
He was already outside when he realized he wasn't alone. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was out here."
"No, you're not intruding. I was thinking of going back inside to warm up anyway if you were looking to be alone." Silver cat's eyes shifted suddenly to a more natural amber and Tsukishiro Yukito's brilliant smile turned on him full force.
Syaoran was proud of himself. The inevitable blush wasn't quite enough to melt all the snow within a mile, and he somehow found the ability to speak. He was still helpless to the effect this creature had on him, but knowing that the magic was the source of the infatuation and now being utterly in love put things at a manageable level for him. Hell, even the urge to run away was just a faint suggestion in the back of his mind instead of an overpowering command. Another hundred years and he'd be totally over his first crush....
"I'm actually glad I ran into you. I don't think I thanked you enough for your advice. I almost blew it and lost everything that meant anything to me. I feel like I owe you a lot." Syaoran moved to lean against the rail, deciding it was safer for his sanity to look out over the landscape.
"I probably owe you just as much," the other man admitted softly.
"Me? How???"
"Becoming a single person was more of a gradual process than others seemed to recognize--and the hardest part was merging the dichotomy of my heart. The part of me that was just Yukito loved only Touya with his entire heart--and the part of me that was just Yue loved Clow with an eternal and undying love. It's one of those things that kept me awake at night arguing with myself when no one else could hear. When everything with the cards had been resolved and Eriol-sama revealed his secrets, he told me to feel free to visit and talk to him about old times with Clow. A few years ago I did, and it tore me apart to see him so miserable with Mizuki-san. I already didn't like her much for hurting Touya. I--I fought with myself more than ever after that.
"Now though, Eriol-sama is no longer the ghost of Clow Reed. With you he is himself, and he's happier than ever. I was able to stop fighting with myself and torturing myself over him. I'm finally at peace with being one person."
Syaoran turned on him with huge eyes, shocked at the confession. "Are you--I mean--You're not jealous, are you?"
Yue laughed, then assumed his true form. "Are you?"
Syaoran couldn't help but imagine that form in the arms of Clow Reed, knowing that Eriol remembered those days when-- "Maybe a little," he admitted, flushing and looking away again.
A pale glow of energy told him that Yue had assumed his false form again, but the gentle laugh was the same. "That is your answer then. Neither of us have anything to fear, we both have our own loves, but--"
"Yeah."
"I was trying to thank you, not widen the rift. Don't look so glum."
"I just have a lot to think about. But--thank you." Syaoran smiled over at Yue and was happy to see the genuine smile that met him. "I'm glad you're happy too."
They were both silent for a while, then Yue left Syaoran with his reflections. The shadows took form behind him as soon as Yue was gone, then Eriol silently came up and wrapped his arms around Syaoran. "You heard." Syaoran knew the magical currents in this place well enough now to know that Eriol had been listening the whole time.
"Yes. It seems we're all healing and finding happiness."
"I'm happier now than I ever thought I could be. A year ago I had just bought that damned diamond ring and was making myself miserable trying to see what the future would hold. Now, I finally have found a future that fills me with hope."
"Me too, Syaoran. We still have a lot ahead of us, but I am glad we'll be facing it together."
They held each other close, watching the snow fall together, content to live in that moment. They had sought solace from the wounds love had inflicted, only to find love in each other. The clock down the hall chimed softly, announcing the New Year gently while the cheers from downstairs gave a more boisterous rendition. Syaoran felt Eriol shift, pulling him around and closer for a kiss.
"It's tradition to kiss in the New Year...I think it brings good luck."
Their lips met, fitting together with practiced ease. Syaoran inhaled the scent of his lover, cinnamon and sandalwood with a hint of vanilla. It was a smell that never failed to drive him crazy and make him think of devouring his dark-haired love. Syaoran deepened the kiss, needing to taste the mouth that captivated him so. Their tongues lazily met, dancing around each other and caressing each other with a familiar touch. The slow pace did not speak for the passion building between them though--Syaoran's hands were shaking as he held Eriol close and caressed the blue-black strands of his hair. When they finally pulled apart Syaoran was delighted to see the tiny snowflakes like gems slowly melting into Eriol's midnight hair.
"I'm freezing and we have guests, let's go downstairs before get too wrapped up in each other."
Eriol stood still a moment longer, holding Syaoran's trembling hands in his own warm ones. "About what I overheard--thank you."
"Nani?" Syaoran shook his head, impatient to head back to the warmth in front of the fireplace, but at once he stilled, realizing that this was something important to Eriol.
"Thank you for loving me. Just me."
"Silly--who else would I love?" With a sweep of an arm he wrapped Eriol up next to him, dragging his love back inside.
