Why CAN'T I Die Before I Wake? Gosh Darn it! This is a spoof on the story "If I Die Before I Wake," by the famed Kozakura. Silliness abounds.

This story contains vulgar language, sexual references, violence, gore, rape, suicide, and many other squickable things! It is based on the story "If I Die Before I Wake," which was written by Kozakura. Go read that first. Her's is infinitely much better as I only wrote this for some cheap laughs.