The Beggining
Sevvy: Woe is me. I suck. You suck. They all suck. Plus- get this-I am dying. Bohoo. Oh what the fuck. I'm still cool enough to get one last laugh before I'm six feet under, I might as well scare you kiddies with my life story. Should be fun, No?
*Insert Melodramatic Flashback Music here*
Mommy Snape: SEVERUS! Get your pathetic rear in here you good for nothing boy!
Sev: Yes mother...
Mommy Snape: Don't use that tone with me! Gar! You wimp of a child!
*Back to the Present*
Sevvy: My parents loved me. Really.
*At Hogwarts, Snape's 5th year*
Sevvy: SLICE AND DICE! Muahahaha. Woah! Blood loss. Going skitzo..
Vampire!Sevvy: You suck. You can't even maim yourself properly! What type of depressed moron are you?!
Sevvy: *Sob!*
*The Next Day, at Breakfast*
Peter: I'm a looser.
James: I'm perfect! W00t!
Remus & Sirius: *Insert slash undertones here*
Sevvy: *Snicker*
Lucius: Hey, we both hate Gryffindors. Lets fuck.
Sevvy: ...
Lucius: Great!
*Later that Day*
Lucius: Oh Sevvvvvvvverrrusssssss. Blood! Yummy! So pretty! You know I love pale boys, tehehehe.
Sevvy: *Catholic undertones here*
Lucius: See ya at dinner, Sev-boi!
*In the shower*
Author: Ooooo. Naked. Pale. Sevvy. *Giggle*
Sevvy: *Sob Sob Sob Sob Sob* Hair Cut! MUAHAHAHAHA. *Sob Sob Sob*
Lucius: Done yet my Sevvy-poo?
Sevvy: *Mutters* Fuck off.
Lucius: What was that Sevvy?
Sevvy: Oh nothing my dear Lucius!
Lucius: I thought so.
*Potions Class the Next day*
James: Where ever did you get that violent bite mark?
Sevvy: Not telling...
James: Fuck you.
Sevvy: Hey! At least I'm getting some action you prude. Now. As you can see I am horribly weak from blood loss and what not. Help me lift this cauldron.
James: I'll find out where you're getting this mad hot sex Sev! If it's the last thing I do!
Sevvy: Who said you could call me Sev...
James: ...
Sevvy: Woe is me. I suck. You suck. They all suck. Plus- get this-I am dying. Bohoo. Oh what the fuck. I'm still cool enough to get one last laugh before I'm six feet under, I might as well scare you kiddies with my life story. Should be fun, No?
*Insert Melodramatic Flashback Music here*
Mommy Snape: SEVERUS! Get your pathetic rear in here you good for nothing boy!
Sev: Yes mother...
Mommy Snape: Don't use that tone with me! Gar! You wimp of a child!
*Back to the Present*
Sevvy: My parents loved me. Really.
*At Hogwarts, Snape's 5th year*
Sevvy: SLICE AND DICE! Muahahaha. Woah! Blood loss. Going skitzo..
Vampire!Sevvy: You suck. You can't even maim yourself properly! What type of depressed moron are you?!
Sevvy: *Sob!*
*The Next Day, at Breakfast*
Peter: I'm a looser.
James: I'm perfect! W00t!
Remus & Sirius: *Insert slash undertones here*
Sevvy: *Snicker*
Lucius: Hey, we both hate Gryffindors. Lets fuck.
Sevvy: ...
Lucius: Great!
*Later that Day*
Lucius: Oh Sevvvvvvvverrrusssssss. Blood! Yummy! So pretty! You know I love pale boys, tehehehe.
Sevvy: *Catholic undertones here*
Lucius: See ya at dinner, Sev-boi!
*In the shower*
Author: Ooooo. Naked. Pale. Sevvy. *Giggle*
Sevvy: *Sob Sob Sob Sob Sob* Hair Cut! MUAHAHAHAHA. *Sob Sob Sob*
Lucius: Done yet my Sevvy-poo?
Sevvy: *Mutters* Fuck off.
Lucius: What was that Sevvy?
Sevvy: Oh nothing my dear Lucius!
Lucius: I thought so.
*Potions Class the Next day*
James: Where ever did you get that violent bite mark?
Sevvy: Not telling...
James: Fuck you.
Sevvy: Hey! At least I'm getting some action you prude. Now. As you can see I am horribly weak from blood loss and what not. Help me lift this cauldron.
James: I'll find out where you're getting this mad hot sex Sev! If it's the last thing I do!
Sevvy: Who said you could call me Sev...
James: ...
