The Middle



*Some time Later in Hogsmead*

Lucius: Join the dark side! Its uber kewl!

Sevvy: 'kay!

Dark Mysterious guy: *Foreshadowing what's to come!* Mmmmm! A yummy pale boi with cash and a serious lack self-confidence! Good work Lucy!

Lucius: No prob!

Dark Mysterious guy: So just sign your name right here and your eternal soul will belong to us!

Sevvy: 'kay!

*Even later*

Evil dude: You swear to do whatever well tall ya in exchange for really cool black robes and a snazzy white mask? Sev and Luc: Yep!

Evil dude: *Points to a cute little family* Slice and dice!

Sevvy: Oooooooo. Time for repayment! *

Scared Boy: Squeak!

Sevvy: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE POWER! THE POWER! OH YEAH! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! *Blood, Gore*

Scared Boy: *Die*

Audience: ...

Death Eaters: ...*Hurl*

Sevvy: WIMPS! MUAHAHAHAHAH!

Voldemort: Bravo! Our new pasty angst boy has spunk!

Sevvy: Spunk...? ...

*Present*

Sevvy: *Angst!* Damn, I was a sick looser.

*Later*

Lucius: Now Sev, there is just something about your scrawny, pale, goth boi- ness that is just so nummy!

Sevvy: Tell me about it..

*Later*

Voldie: Here Sevvy Sevvy Sevvy!

Sevvy: Yep?

Voldie: Tell me 'bout yourself.

Sevvy: Well... I like long walks on the beach, curling up in the dungeons with a good book, potion fumes, kittens, chocola-

Voldie: Way to much info. Uhm. How bout you tell me what makes you so gosh darn hot?

Sevvy: Well then. I am tall, scrawny, pale, angsty, uhm, had long black, eye covering hair.. Uhm, was abused as a child and am looking for a place to fit in.. (*Sob*) Did I mention I look good in fishnets and leather?

Voldie: *Drool*

Author: *Drool*

Sevvy: *Blink* Wait a sec-

Voldie: *Glomp*

Sevvy: Ohhh Voldie.. Ohh YES! YES! There we go.. Voldie, oh yeah!

Voldie: I just cant get enough of your cute little pale self! Oh Sevvy!

Sevvy: Did I mention I like bondage...?

Voldie: *Tackle*

*One big Orgy later*

Sevvy: *Grumble*

Author: There is just no pleasing you, is there Sev? I mean first you get banged the living day lights out of ya by Lucius (Ok, I know it was against your will, but c'mon, don't tell us ya didn't like it), then you and Voldie (who still looks like Tom Riddle might I add) got something going, not to mention the throng of fangirls waiting outside Hogwart's walls for you to just step your little glompable self outside.

Sevvy: *Grumble*

Author: Be that way. *Wink Wink*

Sevvy: *Twitches and walks into the main hall*

Sirius: Sev, ole buddy, ole pal!

Sevvy: *Glare*

Sirius: Hey, James wants to meet you under the whomping willow, if you catch my drift.

Sevvy: UHG! I am sick of this. What if I don't go?

Sirius: You will. *Wink Wink*

Sevvy: *Mutters*

*Later that night*

Remus: Arrrwwooooooooo! Woof Woof! Howl!

Sevvy: AHHHHH WHEREWOLF! YAY! I GET TO DIE AND LEAVE THIS HELL HOLD! SEE YA'S SUCKERS! Wait. I don't really want to die, do I?

Sirius: *Snicker*

Peter: I'll save you!

Sevvy: Damn.

Vampire!Sevvy: Hahah! Told ya you couldn't even get yourself killed. Wimp.

Sevvy: Shuddup.

*Over the next 3 years*

Lucius: Eh. I sleep around. Not much happens.

Sevvy: I become Voldie's personal sex toy.

Voldie: I rule! Booyeah!

Sevvy: ...

Voldie: Hey, Sev, wanna make me an immortality potion?

Sevvy: Not really..

Voldie: To bad, make one anyways.

Sevvy: 'kay.

Lucius: Did I mention I sleep around?

Dumbledor: I know what you're up to Sev. Unprotected sex is dangerous, you know.

Sevvy: I'm trying to kill myself, remember?

Dumbledor: Oh yeah. Ok. Well stop by if ya needa chat!

Sevvy: Okies. Toodles! Hahah! SEE YA HOGWARTS!

*While later*

Voldie: Time to try the potion!

Sevvy: Uhm..

Voldie: AHHHH!!!! IM BALDING AHHHHH! SPASM! AH!!! OH SHIT! AHHHH! *Die*

Sevvy: Damn. I killed the Dark Lord.

*Even later*

Voldie: Hey, Sev. Its all good, shit happens!

Sevvy: Uhmm, thanks...?

Voldie: *Insane cackle!* Its all THEIR FAULT! MUAHAHA

Sevvy: Who's fault?

Voldie: THE EVIL CLOWNS!!!

Sevvy: M'lord...?

Voldie: Uh, my bad.. Uhm, the death eaters.. Right. Um YEAH! It was THEIR fault.

Sevvy: ...

*Couple Days Later*

Lucius: Where ya been, boy?

Sevvy: With the Dark Lord. Duh. Its not like I have a social life.

Lucius: *Glare*

Sevvy: Uhm, he requested me?

Lucius: *Slap* You're MY property, bitch!

Sevvy: Oh yeah. Damn.

*Even Later*

Sevvy: I got nothing left. Life sucks. See yas peeps! Time to visit Big-D!

Dumbledore: Can't help ya kid. You screwed up big time.

Sevvy: WTF?

*In steps Minister of Magic and more Catholic undertones*

MM: We'll give ya 30 pieces of silver and a free criminal record for Voldie.

Dumbledore: Don't be a wimp.

Sevvy: Uhm yeah.. Sure thing.

*One random night*

Voldie: Wee! I rock.

Sevvy: *Smootch*

Voldie: WTF? I was the one dude who loved you for your sad pathetic self and not your hot scrawny body!

Sevvy: Oh yeah. Fuck.

MM Dudes: TO LATE L00z3Rz! DIEEEE SUCKERZ! *Twang, Zap, Pang*

Lucius: Hey Cutie..

Sevvy: Me?

Lucius: *WInk* Yep! *Pop*

*In Luc-cie's rooms*

Lucius: I still love ya..

Sevvy: Fuck off.

Lucius: WHAT? I always get what I want muh Sev-Boi. *Wink*

Sevvy: *SLICE AND DICE* BLOOOOOOOD! MUAHAHAHAHA! Take that Luce. NANANANANANANAANANA!

Lucius: Oooo Sevvy, you've seemed to have suddenly developed balls.. Hrmm.. *Wink*

Sevvy: Do you EVER give up?

Lucius: No.

Sevvy: Oh, ok, just checking.

Lucius: Sure. Close the door on your way out.

Sevvy: Yep.