More Middle



*Hogwarts*

Sevvy: I CANT TAKE EVERYONE HITTING ON ME DAMN IT! Uhhhhhh. I mean. I CANT TAKE THIS KILLING, RAPING, EVIL DARK LORDS GONE NUTSO, PHYSCOTIC BLONDES, AND GENERAL AGNST ANYMORE!

Vampire!Sev: Trying again, are we?

Sevvy: *Glare* Elysium, here we come! *Hangs himself*

Fangirls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Sob*

Mark: Cliffhanger! HAHAHAHA!

Sevvy: Damn. I'm not dead.

Dumbledore: Course not, you're far too hot, uhm, I mean important to die.

Vampire!Sev: HAHAH

Everyone: Shut up!

Vampire!Sev: Shutting up.

Dumbledor: Look at it this way. You get to be a spy and feel like you're doing penance or whatever. Plus, you get this humble abode down in these nice cozy dungeons.

Sevvy: Sounds good.

*Later*

Sevvy (in tight leather pants and shirtless, chained to the floor): AHHHHHH! NO MORE WHIPPINGS! AHHHH! *Sob*

Voldie: Enough.

Sevvy: W00t!

Voldie: You hurt my Sev, know that? Promise you wont do it again, kay?

Sevvy: Sure.

Voldie: Wee.

*Present day*

Sevvy: So yeah. I spied on peeps. It was cool. I saved some people, lost some others. It about evens out.

Vampire!Sev: Oh give me a break! You still cry yourself to sleep everynight.

Sevvy: ... *Sob*

*Dark Lord's Crib*

Voldie: Were gonna kill the Potters.

Sevvy: Uhm, that's phat yo.. Uhm, lemme go get some special potion back at Hogwarts. Right...

Voldie: Sure thang, hun. *Snicker*

Sevvy: *Writes note to D. There Gonna Get James and Co, gotta run. Peace out.*

Voldie: MUAHAH! I know what your wroteeeee.

*Godrics Hollow*

James: AHHHHH! *Dead*

Lilly: Ahhhhhhh! *Dead*

Harry: Mummy.?

(Author: All with me now, awwwwww)

Sevvy: NOOOOO!

Voldie: *Die/Spasm/Go bye bye*

Sevvy: Nooooo! Wait. Yay.? *Black out*

*At Hogwarts some years later, after Harry's sorting*

Sevvy: WINNEEEEEEE! WEEE! *Hiccup*

House Elf: Eeeep. Yes'sir..

Sevvy: Woe me. Woe Lucius. Woe Voldie. Woe James. Ah Shit. Life sucks. Can't cry. Can't kill myself. Can't kill others. Fuck, I can't even go screw Lucius any more. Fuck Pettigrew, and Fuck Sirius; the mad bastard. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be talking. After all, I am talking to myself. Tehe. *Hiccup* Maybe I should have stayed at Mungos. Aw, fuck that, too.

Dumbledore: What the fuck is your problem now Sev?

Sevvy: *Hiccup* I shoulda DIEDDDDDD! Not to mention the fucking obscenities that are happening in this story.

Vampire!Sev: No shit Sherlock.

Sevvy: *Scowl*

Dumbledore: Shit happens. How bout this? You protect Harry and be your usual happy self, then you die?

Sevvy: Sounds good.