Wow, I'm writing a new fic! I gots ta stop starting new fics in the middle of old ones. But this
couldn't wait. I was too excited. Hooray! R/R and I be so very happy.
The Almighty Tallest had been best friends ever since they were little smeet in the
education plugs back on Irk. They had grown up together, sharing the pain, the joy, and the food.
So much food. Seriously, they ate a ton and still looked anorexic. It's really we-
Oh. Right.
So the Tallest had grown up as Invaders, never realizing until one fateful day that they
were, eh, TALL.
The news of Almighty Tallest Spork's death spread quickly throughout Irk, though
nobody could seem to remember just how he had died. Fortunately, nobody really cared, either.
He was dead and that was that. Excitement was in the air as announcements requesting all
Military District leaders to send their most promising, tallest resident. One M. D. leader,
however, sent two, explaining that they were equals as far as Tallest material went. The situation
was frowned upon by some, but, in the end, was accepted.
Twelve Irkens, all identically tall to the naked eye, traveled to the Hall of Politics. There
were three females and nine males. The three females hunkered down in their dormitory, hiding
from the nine leering males. One in particular had been exceptionally bold. He had approached
Nae, the oldest of the three, as the group was arriving at the Hall.
"So, what's your name, gorgeous?"
She blinked. "Nae." Coughed. "So, uh. . . who are you?" She realized that she may have
worded that a bit more politely, but it was too late to take it back now.
"My name is Larr, but I want you to call me 'Red', 'kay, babe?" He flashed a grin laced
with perversion at her. His bright red eyes (Nae assumed that this was where he got the name
'Red' from) danced in his head. She frowned.
"Nice to meet you, Larr. I'm going to go to my room." She turned and walked away with
the other two females. They began to walk down a corridor when all of a sudden one of the other
males coughed, getting their attention.
"Was my friend being rude to you three fine ladies? You'll have to forgive him, you see,
he's an idiot, I'm afraid. But he's certainly a good friend."
"That is so sweet!!" squealed Rillee, younger than any other Irken there by some years.
"Like, you're toooo cute! And your eyes are my favorite, like, color!! What's your name?"
"Uh, it's Dol. But usually I'm called 'Purple'."
"NEAT!! Let's go do stuff!"
Much to Red's displeasure, all three of the females latched onto Purple for the rest of the
afternoon. He had a dazed grin plastered on his face the whole time. When he suggested that they
go to a place a bit more private, however, they fled.
Red was still laughing at Purple as they got ready for bed. All twelve Irkens, however,
were jittery about the important events that would take place tomorrow.
The next day, official measurements were announced, and the whole of Irk was shocked
to learn that there was not one successor to Almighty Tallest Spork, but two. The odds of two
Irkens being the exact same height was extremely unlikely, and the fact that they were best
friends made the whole situation even more strange. Red and Purple, however, could not have
been happier.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'EXACTLY THE SAME HEIGHT?!!'" shrieked Red. "We
*can't* be the same height!! I must be, like, at *least* three millimeters taller than him. I mean,
c'mon!! I WAS BORN TO RULE!!"
The Tallest still did everything together. Except use the bathroom. Because that would be
more than just a little bit disturbing. Each morning they woke up at the exact same time and met
each other for breakfast. Then, after they had dressed, they measured themselves, each with their
own separate measuring device. Each time both machines chanted out, timed to perfection, "Nine
and three-quarters feet!"
This morning had started no differently.
"Nine and three-quarters feet!" chimed Purple's dutifully.
"Nine and three-quarters feet," said Red's. The Tallest grinned happily at one another. ". .
. and one half inches," finished the device.
Nobody in the room moved, right down to the lowest servant drone. The air was
completely still and the room was completely silent. Red blinked.
"YEEESSSSSS!!!!!"
I bet you're wondering what happens next, huh? You're all like, "Hey I wanna know what
happens next FROWN FACE."
couldn't wait. I was too excited. Hooray! R/R and I be so very happy.
The Almighty Tallest had been best friends ever since they were little smeet in the
education plugs back on Irk. They had grown up together, sharing the pain, the joy, and the food.
So much food. Seriously, they ate a ton and still looked anorexic. It's really we-
Oh. Right.
So the Tallest had grown up as Invaders, never realizing until one fateful day that they
were, eh, TALL.
The news of Almighty Tallest Spork's death spread quickly throughout Irk, though
nobody could seem to remember just how he had died. Fortunately, nobody really cared, either.
He was dead and that was that. Excitement was in the air as announcements requesting all
Military District leaders to send their most promising, tallest resident. One M. D. leader,
however, sent two, explaining that they were equals as far as Tallest material went. The situation
was frowned upon by some, but, in the end, was accepted.
Twelve Irkens, all identically tall to the naked eye, traveled to the Hall of Politics. There
were three females and nine males. The three females hunkered down in their dormitory, hiding
from the nine leering males. One in particular had been exceptionally bold. He had approached
Nae, the oldest of the three, as the group was arriving at the Hall.
"So, what's your name, gorgeous?"
She blinked. "Nae." Coughed. "So, uh. . . who are you?" She realized that she may have
worded that a bit more politely, but it was too late to take it back now.
"My name is Larr, but I want you to call me 'Red', 'kay, babe?" He flashed a grin laced
with perversion at her. His bright red eyes (Nae assumed that this was where he got the name
'Red' from) danced in his head. She frowned.
"Nice to meet you, Larr. I'm going to go to my room." She turned and walked away with
the other two females. They began to walk down a corridor when all of a sudden one of the other
males coughed, getting their attention.
"Was my friend being rude to you three fine ladies? You'll have to forgive him, you see,
he's an idiot, I'm afraid. But he's certainly a good friend."
"That is so sweet!!" squealed Rillee, younger than any other Irken there by some years.
"Like, you're toooo cute! And your eyes are my favorite, like, color!! What's your name?"
"Uh, it's Dol. But usually I'm called 'Purple'."
"NEAT!! Let's go do stuff!"
Much to Red's displeasure, all three of the females latched onto Purple for the rest of the
afternoon. He had a dazed grin plastered on his face the whole time. When he suggested that they
go to a place a bit more private, however, they fled.
Red was still laughing at Purple as they got ready for bed. All twelve Irkens, however,
were jittery about the important events that would take place tomorrow.
The next day, official measurements were announced, and the whole of Irk was shocked
to learn that there was not one successor to Almighty Tallest Spork, but two. The odds of two
Irkens being the exact same height was extremely unlikely, and the fact that they were best
friends made the whole situation even more strange. Red and Purple, however, could not have
been happier.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'EXACTLY THE SAME HEIGHT?!!'" shrieked Red. "We
*can't* be the same height!! I must be, like, at *least* three millimeters taller than him. I mean,
c'mon!! I WAS BORN TO RULE!!"
The Tallest still did everything together. Except use the bathroom. Because that would be
more than just a little bit disturbing. Each morning they woke up at the exact same time and met
each other for breakfast. Then, after they had dressed, they measured themselves, each with their
own separate measuring device. Each time both machines chanted out, timed to perfection, "Nine
and three-quarters feet!"
This morning had started no differently.
"Nine and three-quarters feet!" chimed Purple's dutifully.
"Nine and three-quarters feet," said Red's. The Tallest grinned happily at one another. ". .
. and one half inches," finished the device.
Nobody in the room moved, right down to the lowest servant drone. The air was
completely still and the room was completely silent. Red blinked.
"YEEESSSSSS!!!!!"
I bet you're wondering what happens next, huh? You're all like, "Hey I wanna know what
happens next FROWN FACE."
