Target Recognized. The young man led her into the empty broom closet. "Do you want another cigarette?" He asked. She did not reply. "You're very cute, you know. What grade are you in?" The girl remained silent. "You don't talk much, do you? Well, that's okay, I guess." A lustful gleam appeared in his eyes. "You know, here in the dark, we could do whatever we wanted. No one would ever know." The girl looked at him. She tilted her head to the side, and said nothing. "Do you want to...kiss me?" The girl smiled ever-so-slightly. "I'll take that to mean 'yes'..." The boy put his hands on her soft, pale shoulders. "You're so very pretty...so very pretty..." He leaned down toward her lips, closing his eyes in anticipation. "Target aquired." The boy's eyes opened. He took a hesitant step backward. "W-w-who-" A figure detached itself from the shadows. It was tall, garbed in a suit of blood-red fabric, a cravat at its neck. A heavy, wide-brimmed hat obscured the figure's eyes. "P-Professor Arucard! I was just-" "Get out of the way, student." The professor reached into his jacket. From within its inky depths he withdrew a long silver scanner. "No! Don't-!" But the boy was too late. The professor took aim at the girl, smiled, and pulled the trigger. The boy threw himself backward as the beam speared overhead and struck the girl between the eyes. A moment later, it disappeared. The professor examined the gun's readout. "As expected. Another drop-out. Escorting the subject off of Academy grounds." "D-d-drop-out?" The boy looked up with wide, horrified eyes. From where he lay, the professor seemed to tower over him, impossibly tall. Professor Arucard smiled.

They sat around the table, saying nothing. On the screen, a fuzzy, unclear video played back an hour's worth of studies. The camera focused on a man, tall and dark-haired, who stood at the head of the classroom. "This video was taken not more than two weeks ago. If you'll watch carefully, it shows full well the obvious problems developing with the tutor." They watched in horror as the smiling figure dictated incorrect notes to his body of students. "It's obvious this man must be stopped. It's an abomination before the Academy. I suggest we take action immediately!" "I already have," said the figure at the head of the table. All eyes turned toward her. She was shorter than them, her body smaller, but about her person there hung an intensity that brooked no arguments. "I find that very reassuring, Principal Hellsing," said the oldest of the board members. "Which team have you dispatched to investigate this matter?" "No team." "No team??" Principal Integra Wingates Hellsing smirked inwardly at their expressions. She took a sip of her coffee. "Just one professor." "One?!"

The professor strolled down the path toward the school. His lean, elegant form seemed to step directly from the shadows around him. Behind his spectacles, his eyes gleamed with amusement. "A wonderful evening," he remarked. "Makes me want to grade final exams." He smiled at his own musings, and cast an eye up to the evening sky.

Ceres Victoria, youngest of the grad students, ran between her comerades' desks, delivering soda and snacks to those few who still endured. She stopped before the desk of her commander. "Jack," she said, offering him the candy bar. "Here, Jack. Take this. Reinforcements should be arriving soon." Jack smiled wearily. "You know, I never expected to end up like this," she said, her eyes far away. "I wanted to become a teacher, just like you will. I wanted to finish grad school. But this...this is..." she trailed off. "Jack?" Jack's eyes were hollow. The animation was gone from his face. "Jack? Speak to me, Jack!" "Mmmrph..." muttered Jack. "Pi is 4. Columbus discovered Assyria. Shrimp are poisonous...Mmrrargh!" "No! Not you!" Ceres backed away from the Jack-creature. "Not you!" She drew her slide rule from its holster and leveled it at him. "Don't...no..." But Jack was beyond hearing. He reached for her, mindlessly, and her fingers tightened on the plastic... WHAM! A huge black grading-pen burst out through the Jack-creature's textbook. It screamed in agony and collapsed. Behind it stood a tall, gaunt figure in a wide-brimmed hat. The figure smiled at her. "A nice night, don't you think, Student Girl?" She leveled her slide-rule at the man. "A night like this makes me want to give exams..." Terrified, she fired an equation at the figure. He smiled and shrugged it off. "Not...a student!" Ceres turned and fled.

She fled past the empty desks that loomed cold and forbidding in her eyes, past the blackboard itself, until she stood before the open doors of the teachers' lounge. There was no other way to go. She stepped inside. The great, empty lounge was lit fitfully by a single flickering flourescent bulb. The shadows seemed to dance and sway before her eyes, painting strange shapes on the walls. "To one who seeks knowledge, the lounge will always leave its doors open." There! Behind the far desk, she could see a man. As she looked, he stepped into the light and revealed himself to her. His suit was expensive, his glasses spotless. "Are you...the teacher?" "I am one who guides students, yes." The man paused over an open textbook. "So young, this one, so eager to learn...yet at the same time so afraid..." "I'm...I mean...there was...you're not..." "Are you referring to the freshmen outside?" "Freshmen?" "Oh yes. You see, when a student has their learning stripped away from them, they revert back to mindless, slathering first-years like the ones you saw outside. Once that happens, any teacher may command them." The man smiled. "You didn't think all teachers educated their students, did you? For example..." He motioned toward her. She was drawn to him, drawn by the power of his misinformation. He wrapped an arm around her. "Your mind is so sweet...so innocent," he said. "I won't make you into a freshman like the others...no...not you..."

The door to the teachers' lounge flew open and bounced off the far wall with a bang. There, standing in the doorway was a gaunt, smiling figure. The man she had seen before! He locked eyes with the teacher. "Your reign of misinformation is over...Punk!" "Hmph." The teacher scoffed. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my lounge?" "My name is Professor Arucard. From Hellsing Academy's bullshit division." "Hellsing Academy? Bullshit? You must be joking!" "You're right," said the professor. "You're far beyond bullshit by now. Look at you! You're not fit to teach a monkey!" He stepped forward. "Freshmen, destroy him!" The slathering hordes leapt from the darkness of the lounge, their bogus information tearing into the professor. For a moment, he seemed to fall beneath their bombardment, but in mere moments, he stood back up and cut them down with simple algebra. When they were vanquished, and their bodies lay at his feet, he turned his eyes once more on the teacher. "Wait!" cried the man. "Wait! We're both educators, I can see that now. Why fight me? We could join forces, you and I, and-" Professor Arucard drew his calculator from within his jacket. He levelled it at the teacher. Terrified, the man held Ceres out before him like a shield. "You wouldn't cut down a student, would you?" "Ceres," whispered the professor. "I am about to destroy your hypotheses. Prepare yourself." Ceres winced. The professor fired. The theorum bore through Ceres's hypotheses and cut down the teacher behind her. The teacher collapsed into dust. Ceres fell to the floor, wounded. Arucard loomed impossibly tall above her. "You are badly wounded. Without special assistance, you will fail. I will whisper the secret formula to you, Student Girl, if that is your choice. Would you choose that?" "Please," she husked. "Yes..." "Very well." Professor Arucard knelt down.

Principal Hellsing stood beside her car, watching as her faculty cleaned up the remains of the corrupt teacher's work. Her face showed neither pleasure nor displeasure. The wind ruffled her suit about her, but she did not feel it. Professor Arucard stepped out of the school, carrying a young girl in his arms. As they met, he leaned down, and spoke to her. "This is Ceres Victoria," he said. "She has chosen to become one of the faculty at Hellsing Academy." Principal Hellsing scowled. "You have no power to make that choice." The professor merely grinned. "She chose for herself."