Disclaimer: Come on people I have like five dollars in my checking account!!
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Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
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"Is it that easy Pan?" I saw her start to shake and those eyes I have loved so long become glossy. This is all her fault, why the both of us are miserable. She did this to the both of us.
"Trunks, please not here." Her soft hand came up to my shoulder and rested lightly like nothing was wrong. Her hand, how can she have so much power over me with just one touch? I will not let her get to me. I want to know why she did this to me to us. The party tonight was the first time we have seen each other in two weeks. Never have I been separated from her so long. It is like hell on earth without her near me.
"Tell me damn it. I have a right to know. Is it that easy?" Taking a step back she covers her face with her hands trying to fight those tears. Does she think that I would hit her? My anger grows just looking at her but not because of hate but because of love I fear I have lost. The two of us have been dating for a year now and that is all I ever wanted. Every morning waking up to think that I get to hold her, kiss her, let her feel my love is what I was use to. Until about two weeks ago.
I was cooking us dinner at my new apartment waiting for her to come over. I heard her enter to apartment and I felt an instant smile on my lips. Her boots clicked on the kitchen tile as she approached me from behind. Then the clicking stopped and I heard her let out a light cry. Now worried I turned around to see a single tear fall from her brown eyes. Rushing over to hold her, her hand flew up and stopped before I could reach her.
"Trunks I'm not ready for this type of a relationship. So I was thinking…" I could not let her finish because I knew what the next words were going to be.
"Dinner is ready. I made your favorite. How was work? Did you talk to Goten he called here looking for you about training tomorrow? Do you want to eat now or do want to rest first?" The questions kept coming out of my mouth. I didn't want to hear what she was going to say. "Maybe you should…"
"Trunks! We need to break up." My body went numb and I just lowered my head. Her shoes clicked again on the tile until I saw those old boots. Her hand touched mine and I looked up at her. My own eyes were fighting tears. I felt her squeeze my hand and then try to smile.
"Why Panny?" I know I looked like a child, head half down pushing tears back and asking why. Her thumb rubbed the back of my hand and the other started to stroke my cheek.
"We're not ready for this." That was all she said before I felt her hand leave mine and saw her walk out of the kitchen. Leaving the uneaten dinner, a broken heart, and a violet box in my pocket. The only reason I came to this dumb party was to see her and I'll be damned if I don't get her back. Her voice brought me back away from the worst memory in my life.
"Trunks I don't want to do this here. Everyone is here. Please!" She is speaking through her hands on her face as her body is sliding up against the wall behind her. So what if the entire gang is here, she killed me and I want to know why this happened. Walking closer to her I grab her by her shoulders tightly but would never inflect any pain upon her. Pulling her up to look into my eyes I demand it silently.
"Is it that easy to throw away everything that was good in our lives, to move on and pretend to be happy? Pan I love so much that I wake with tears I never known I've cried because you are not with me at night. I can't do anything with out you; you have always been with me. Cheering me up, making me do what I don't want to do, giving me advise, and helping me at work. I just can't cope without you in my life. Tell me why you broke up with me? Tell me that you are actually happy." She fell against my chest and hugged me tightly.
"I'm scared to death" Was all she said before her body began to tremble from her sobbing. I ran my hand through her hair to comfort her the only way I know how. What could she possibly be scared of? Doesn't she know that I will be the one to always protect her no matter what? Standing like this with the only women I have ever loved was just what I have needed these past two weeks. Stroking her hair and down her back I found her hand and held it tightly. She lifted her head off my chest and looked up at me with those huge eyes, that I fall in love with every time I look into them.
"I sorry." She whispered it like the voice of an angle. "I was so happy with you and in love that it was scary. Then I was talking to the girls and they said that not everything last forever. They said that I needed to focus on my career. That I was not ready for such a serious relationship at this point in my life. That we needed a break and focus on ourselves first. I was seeing if I could make it without you but I just found I hated myself. You make it worth getting out of bed every morning. I was being selfish yet again."
This was over because of someone's words? Why would she believe such a thing? I felt my anger return because of what had ended the best thing in my life. Then I looked back to her and she did it, that smile that kills me every time. I could fell myself forgiving her.
So what to you want me to do with this story? Up to you guys. Oh, this is to Sonya for my first review ever and being there with my stories. Love ya! And to Ayarose go to www.dailycelebrations.com for those quotes. Laterz!
