Disclaimer: What I don't own: Higher Ground

Soul Asylum's Runaway Train

What I wish I Owned: Higher Ground

Soul Asylum's Runaway Train

(While we're on the topic) All the hot guys I happily obsess over

All the Bands I love

What I do own: Rowan

Dwayne

Rowan's Dad

This story line

Any questions?

"Oh God Rowan," said Peter, "what, what happened? Where have you been? I thought you liked it here."

"More than you could know," whispered Rowan, half to himself, but Dwayne caught the words.

Call you up in the middle of the night

Like a firefly without a light

You were there like a blowtorch burning

I was a key that could use a little turning

"Where have you been? What happened? Wh-" started Sophie.

"Please," pleaded Rowan, "just give me the name of the place."

"Alright. Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate something?" consented Dwayne, although he longed to ask more questions.

"How long have I been gone?"

"A week. Now answer my question. When was the last time-"

"A week ago."

"What?" Dwayne stuttered and stopped, defeated.

"Sit down," said Kat, all the other Group members seemingly shocked into silence by the wicked turn of events. They had imagined the police bringing Rowan back, or Dwayne, or Peter, with the runaway a little bruised but not this. Anything but this.

Dwayne watched as Rowan staggered to the offered chair. He sat, his torso shaking, although Rowan was making an obvious effort to control it. "Why are you shaking?" asked Peter, kneeling down in front of the boy. Rowan leaned his head back against the comforting wood and just slid up the sleeve on his jacket to expose his right arm, his wrist clumsily wrapped in a torn shirt. Though the shirt had once been black, it was stained a darker color.

So tired that I couldn't even sleep

So many secrets I couldn't keep

I promised myself I wouldn't weep

One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now,

I'm in too deep, there's no way out

This time I have really led myself astray

Peter stared at the needle marks that covered the offered elbow crease. "He used to be really smart- like a total math and science whiz. So smart he can mix drugs. He needed someone to try the drugs on. To try out the trips. He knew I don't see the difference between life and death and that was it. He came, he grabbed, he drugged and conquered. No choice for me." Peter slowly put his fingers on the drying clumsily wrapped cloth on the wrist. "No, don't…" Rowan half-heartedly pleaded. Peter unwrapped the bandage and watched as the blood welled up. "Christ man," Rowan sighed, "you started the bleeding again. I can't loose much more." He struggled to put that bandage back on, exposing accidentally that his other wrist was wrapped in a similar fashion and that he wore no shirt under the ¾ zipped jacket. Peter's eyes stared at the tattoo that intruded the pale skin's scar sanctuary.

Runaway train, never going back

Wrong way on a one-way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Peter took the ripped shirt and tied it back on, gently. "Who's he?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"My father."

"I thought you liked it here," said Dwayne.

"You don't get to make a lot of decisions when you've got a gun to your head and told if you run your blood is his and that if you run to the one place you feel safe at he'll kill the people there too. I may not have any respect for my life but I do have some reverence for other life." Rowan breathed raggedly, as if the effort of merely speaking was tiring.

"You feel safe here?" asked Sophie, in wonderment.

"I don't have a lot of past experiences to go by, but yeah."

Can you help me remember how to smile?

Make it somehow all seem worthwhile

How on earth did I get so jaded?

Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go

I know what no one else's known

Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain

With a ticket for a runaway train

"Please," Rowan paused, "just give me the name of the goddamned place. I'll go there and you'll never see me again."

"What if we don't want to never see you again?" asked Kat quietly.

Ezra spoke now, "You've got people now, Rowan."

"Yeah, people who are going to get majorly fucked if I don't get the hell out of here soon. Look, I have to go. Long enough for my Dad to cool down."

It was Daisy's turn to speak. "So you ran away. Why would he want to kill you?"

"That's… That's not all I did."

And everything seems cut and dried,

Day and night, earth and sky,

Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train, never going back

Wrong way on a one-way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here nor there

"What else?" questioned Dwayne, not sure if the answer was one he'd like.

"I sorta called the cops on him. I came off a high and was just lying there and decided to get the hell out. I felt blood pooling in my hand from when he slit my wrists, so I took my knife and cut my shirt and tied it around my wrists to try and stop the bleeding which didn't work so well, as you may have guessed. I grabbed my jacket and left. I walked a couple of blocks, stole some guy's cell phone and called the cops on my dad- I mean, the guy's wanted by three countries. I figured they might want to nab 'em. I also said he had a drug business going."

"Oh shit," said Dwayne. "That's got your name down on the fucked boy list. But he's in jail. The police came and carted him away, right?"

"Didn't stick around long enough. Besides, his name's got meaning. Even from behind bars he can get someone to hunt me down."

Bought a ticket for a runaway train

Like a madman laughing at the rain

A little out of touch, a little insane

It's just easier than dealing with the pain

"But you said you felt safe here," said Sophie.

"THE GUY SAID HE'D KILL EVERYONE HERE IF HE FOUND ME HERE! I tend to believe him!" yelled Rowan, getting pissed he couldn't get the simple information he needed.

"Alright, calm down, I'll go get the name of the place, " said Dwayne, "and something for you to eat. I'll drive you there."

"No, I'll go on my own. I can travel easier, stay out of sight, stay low."

"Fine. I'll see you guys in a minute. Peter, I'm just going to go check your records." Dwayne caught Peter's eyes for a moment, and Peter nodded.

"Call the pigs and I'm out of here, into the woods, before they step out of their car," threatened Roan.

"OK," came the defeated answer. Dwayne left, the open door briefly betraying the sound of the rain smacking into the wood porch and hardened mud.

Runaway train, never going back

Wrong way on a one-way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here nor there

"How'd you get here?" asked Peter. "Hitch hike?"

"Nah, got in the back of some guy's tuck. I heard him saying he was going by this place. The assholes had a good laugh about the prospect of the going so close to place for the screwed up kids." Rowan's voice tightened for a moment. "Just till out of town though. Then walked."

"It's 10 miles!"

"It was a long walk."

"Oh. Well-" There was silence for a moment until the door flung open. Rowan jumped up and stared at the dark figure for a moment, just for a moment, his voice shrieked out the one dreaded word.

"DA!" He ran out the other door like a beast of hell was on his heels, and in a way, one was.



Runaway train, never coming back

Runaway train, tearing up the track

Runaway train, burning in my veins

I run away but it always seems the same