Vaughn had worried before. He worried about Sydney going away on missions, going in to SD6, hell, he worried about her walking down the street. He endlessly held his breath waiting for her to walk in the door with her usual, 'Honey, I'm home,' which always got a laugh. He waited for days without sleep, for her to hold him and tell him that it would be all right. And even with her gone, he still waits, but knows she'll never return.

~*

"Think you can handle this?" Sydney asked. She smiled at him, flicked back her long brown hair and dumped a pile of clothes into a suitcase. "Your mother isn't helping you this time, sweetie."

Vaughn watched her as she moved, she seemed to move in slow motion. His mind flashed quickly through all the red tape they had to cut through to get this far, all the criticism, all the 'you can't's' and 'I do's' to be together. He loved her and he knew that she loved him. It was his perfect world that every now and then collided with his imperfect world. He snapped back into reality when he realized that she was waiting for him to answer. "I managed to handle you." Vaughn said trying not to smile but being unable to help it.

Sydney loved his witty remarks, she smiled and shook her head. She kissed him and then looked into him. She could see his worry. He didn't want to be left alone, he didn't want her to go away and leave him to worry for her, he didn't want to look after his daughter by himself for the rest of his life. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm coming back. I promise." She started kissing him again.

He held her in his arms. They went through this every time she had a mission. Vaughn met with her and her handler, he detailed the mission and Vaughn spent the time until she left holding her and lecturing her on being careful. "What if you don't?" Vaughn said sadly. Another frequently asked question.

"I will." She said with a great amount of sincerity, he was looking at the floor, he had moved his hands into his pockets. She took his head in both her hands a looked right into him. "I'm coming back!"

Sarah started to cry, Sydney released Vaughn, who went straight back to looking at the floor. She sighed at him, and looked down at the spot that he was staring at, a nail polish stain that she had managed to put there a few months earlier when her and Francie were having a girls night. She left him to stare at it and wonder how he was going to get it out, whilst she went to tend to her daughter.

~*

Vaughn wasn't clear on what exactly happened to her. The CIA had so many theories on how she was killed that he didn't know what to believe any more. He would have preferred to see her die of cancer than some of the ways mentioned.

He had heard that she was driving and was shot. That the car veered off the road and wrapped it's self around a pole and killed the agent she was with.

Another was that Ann Marie (the agent) was driving and got distracted when Sydney was shot, veered off the road, wrapped around a pole and killed herself.

And another was that Sydney was driving towards Ann Marie, to pick her up, was shot and then ran her over and wrapped the car around a pole.

None made much sense to Vaughn. He knew that Sydney wasn't driving the car. The coroner's report said so. He knew that she was shot, he knew Ann Marie wasn't in the car when the fire brigade arrived at the scene of the accident, he knew that Sydney had died as soon as the bullet hit her and she didn't suffer at all.

He had his own theories about how the lives of two very well regarded agents, one being his wife, were taken.

Ann Marie had just picked up Sydney, they were being chased by K Directorate, approximately three maybe four cars. Sydney was shot by an on coming vehicle, Ann Marie then lost control of the car. She was unable to regain control and tried to climb out of the spinning car by opening the door. When the car struck the pole, Ann Marie was thrown out and died by head injury when she hit the pavement.

Vaughn tried to present this to Devlin but he wouldn't hear it. He told Vaughn that he was tired at that he was still grieving Sydney and to go home and look after his daughter. Vaughn didn't want to go home, he wanted people to listen to him. He wanted to have a say in what was going to happen to his dead wife, what was going on her record, even though it wouldn't benefit her much now.

Weiss took him home. Vaughn sat down, hit with the realization that he was never going to see Sydney again. Sarah was at his mothers and he wanted to leave her there. forever. He was left alone after a small argument with Weiss about weather or not he needed company.

All Vaughn wanted to do was tell Francie. He was starting to feel sorry for her. Vaughn grabbed his jacket off the banister of the stairs from exactly where he dropped it when he walked in the door. He fumbled around looking for the car keys. He checked every where he could think of, before he heard Sydney's voice in his head, 'Put them on the rack in the kitchen and you'll always find them, silly'. He went into the kitchen and sure enough, on the rack were the shiny silver car keys. He broke down into sobs, he fell to the floor, huddled into a tight ball and cried for his wife, with all her wisdom.

~*

Vaughn knocked on the door to Francie's apartment, it was about seven thirty in the morning. It took a little while but she came to the door, looking tired and wearing a white bathrobe. She looked at him rather confused, as if she didn't even know who he was. She moved aside without saying a word and let the tired, worn, unshaven man into her apartment and closed the door.

Francie knew that something was wrong, he rarely came to see her unless Sydney was with him. She bit her lower lip as she watched him sit down and rub his neck. "What's wrong Michael?" She asked looking worried. "Are you okay? Is Sydney okay?"

Vaughn closed his eyes and tried to fight back his tears, but couldn't stop a few from escaping, he shook his head, as if he were unable to speak. Finally after all the rocking back and forward and fighting off tears, he managed a: "No! Every things not okay." He sobbed it out. He let the tears stream down his face.

Francie just stood frozen, something had happened to Sydney, something bad. She prayed that she was just in hospital, a coma or something, she prayed that it was just something that she would recover from in a few weeks. Francie wasn't going to cry, not until she knew exactly what was wrong. "What? What happened? Please tell me what happened." Francie was pleading with him, she couldn't take it anymore, what was it that her best friend's husband was so upset about?

"Sydney," was all he could get out before burying his head in his hands a sobbing, "She's. I. I'm sorry Francie. I didn't want her to go, she wanted to, you can't stop her, she's dead." He blurted out in a mass of jumbled words and nonsense.

Francie stared at him, she was angry at first and then she started to cry. She didn't understand why this happened to Sydney, her best friend, bridesmaid at her wedding, godmother to her child as was Francie to her. She thought that she needed to sit, but she couldn't make her body move. She looked up and saw Vaughn standing directly in front of her, she fell into his arms. They cried together for their friend and partner.

Francie's husband came in from the next room. He was tall, muscular and was also wearing a white bathrobe. "Francie, baby, is everything okay, honey?" he asked looking very worried. He recognized Michael straight away, and knew that something wasn't right. The two of them standing together crying wasn't the only factor supporting his thought, the way Vaughn presented himself was quite different. He was in casual dress, he wasn't groomed, and his eyes were red and puffy.

Vaughn released Francie from his grip, and sat back down on the couch. He tried to calm himself down. He was taking deep breaths and had his head thrown back so he was staring at the ceiling.

Francie moved swiftly over to her husband and he held her, "Syd is dead," she cried into his chest. "She's gone and she's not coming back."

~*

Sydney's funeral was beautiful, if she were there, she would have agreed. Her family and friends that she knew and were still alive had come to say goodbye to her. They cried and wished Vaughn the best and said hello to Sarah.

There were white lilies all around the church, photos of a happy smiling Sydney placed at the front of the altar and her coffin. It was dark wooden brown and had a white silk interior. Jack had wanted to have an open coffin but Vaughn wouldn't allow it, Sydney was pale and dead, he didn't want people looking at her with a big hole blown into her chest.

"Sydney was a wonderful person, she loved her family, her friends and always searched for the truth. She was the strongest person I ever knew and now we say good bye to someone who didn't deserve to die. I am going to read a poem that Sydney read at the funeral of our good friend Will Tippin." Francie read off a piece of paper on the podium, to a tissue gripping audience and tried not to cry. "We strive until we broke, We hurt until we died, We fell to the ground and wept like children, And screamed for freedom, We never had the chances, We never gave in, We screamed for freedom, And disappeared into the dark, We cried for the ones we lost, We lied to the ones we protected, We disappeared into the dark, And waited for an absolution, We hid under the fear, We hid from the murderer, And waited for an absolution, That never came." "Thank you all for coming." Francie stepped down from the podium and returned to her seat next to Vaughn.

Sydney was put in the ground next to Will, who was next to Danny. Vaughn stood with Francie, she was so upset about saying goodbye to her friend, her and Francie had been friends ever since they were kids, and now one of them was gone. "Are you okay?" Vaughn asked her.

"I'm saving that spot for me." She said pointing to the empty patch of ground next to Sydney's grave. "The three of them, they were all murdered. Danny, Will and now Sydney, I hope I don't go like that." She had tears streaming down her face.

Vaughn took her in his arms. "We'll grow strong. Sydney and Will and Danny weren't meant to die like this, but they did and we have to be strong for them. I love Sydney and I always will, but I have to be there for Sarah and you have to be strong for your family."

Francie had forgot all about Sarah, not purposely but she had, what was Vaughn going to do with out Sydney. Francie assumed that she would have to step in with the up bringing of Sarah, she was her godmother after all. "I'm going to help you." Francie said to him, looking so sincere that Vaughn suddenly felt peaceful.

"Thank you." He said.

Everybody bowed their heads as they said the final prayer to God and buried Sydney. Jack had organized for everyone to have a white rose that was thrown into the grave once the coffin was in place. Francie moved forward and crouched at the end of the grave. "Thank you friend. Don't worry, I'm going to take care of Michael and Sarah for you. I love you Syd, bye." Francie kissed the rose and threw it into the grave and went back to standing next to Vaughn.

The wake was also nice. Vaughn was surprised at the sympathy that he received, they all said that they wanted to take Sarah home with them. Vaughn shook a lot of hands and met a lot of new people. Many of Sydney's friends from SD6 were there and a lot of the people from their wedding were also there. There was talk of Sydney, tears for her and cake.

~*

Vaughn didn't want to get rid of Sydney's things, some where inside he still believed she was coming back. Her clothes, shoes and make up went to Francie, and Vaughn kept all of her other stuff. Like the letters from friends, the photos of her and her friends, her sentimental things like teddies that she had, had since she was a baby and her diary, he kept her CDs and videos as well. Francie, Weiss, Jack and his mother had come to help him clean out her stuff. They tidied the house and did his washing, Vaughn just sat there, nursed Sarah and watched them move around him.

"It's going to get easier, Michael." His mother said to him, she took Sarah and put her into her bassinet that was sitting in the middle of the lounge room. "I promise, you just need time." She patted him on the head.

"Before she died, Sydney promised me that she was coming back mom, don't make promises because I don't believe them." He said bitterly. He was past being upset about Sydney's death and had moved on to being angry, with himself, the CIA, everybody and Sydney. He hated her for leaving him like this, to look after Sarah, to look after himself.

"You will be okay and we will always be here for you." She got up to help the others and left Vaughn sitting on the couch sulking.

Vaughn was slowly drifting off into a world where every thing was okay, he saw familiar people and Sydney was there. He wanted to stay in this world forever, he wanted to be safe, he wanted Sydney.

"Michael," A small voice dared to interrupt, "I found this." Francie was grasping a small folded piece of paper, she stood a little bit crouched over him, she was worried about him snapping at her as she had seen him snap at his mother earlier.

She held it out to him and he took it from her, "Thanks." Was all he said before sitting back on the chair and staring out the window at the swing in the small yard that Sydney liked playing on, he had called her a big kid so many times cause she loved it so much.

Francie left him alone, she had been too curious not to read the letter Sydney had left for her husband to read if she should never return from one of her missions.

Vaughn moved outside into the cold LA weather and sat on the swing, he carefully unfolded the letter and read it to himself.

Dearest Michael, I love you. If you are reading this then it means one of two things, one I am dead or two you are going through my underwear draw. Get out of my underwear draw! If it is for the first reason then I'm sorry. I never wanted to leave you or Sarah. If it's for the second then get out of my damn underwear! (I laugh). I saw this done in several movies and decided to steal it, I didn't want to die without you knowing that I love you. Bring Sarah up the best you can, tell Francie I love her very much and good luck with BJ, always remember to feed the dog and honey, put your keys on the rack and you'll always know where to find them. I wish I could go on forever, tell you everything you need for life but I can't, just promise me that you'll look after yourself. I worry about you the most. Never forget how much I love you and I will always be with you, I mean, you never know, we may meet again in another life, look out for me. I love you. Sydney PS Now I am your Guardian Angel.

Vaughn let a few tears out. Sydney had touched him, he really needed a part of her, during this hard time and now he finally had something from her. He loved her so much, he decided that he was going to move on, for her. She said that she was watching over him and he believed that she was. He was going to treasure the last major thing she gave him and he was going to do a good job, Sarah was his daughter and nothing would ever change that.

Vaughn went inside and for the first time in days, spoke to his friends and family, helped them out with their little task and he even started to smile again.

~*

[Sixteen years later]

"Sarah, you're going to be late for school if you don't hurry up!" Vaughn yelled angrily up the stairs. He was wearing a blue suit and kept looking at his watch with anticipation.

A tall thin girl with long black hair, approximately sixteen years of age stood on the platform at the top of the stairs. She was wearing a long black skirt and a long sleeved black top. She was wearing dark makeup, big black army boots, several items of jewelry hung around neck and wrists and had a pierced nose. "Nobody asked you to drive me to school." She said sounding rather nasty.

"Yes. the bus driver did after you threw that water balloon at his head and made him crash the bus." Vaughn said sounding as mater-of-factly as possible. "And do you think that you could show up for some classes today?"

"I don't even know why you send me to that dumb school, I hate it." She was sounding bitterer by the second, she looked at him with a devilish look. "Can't I just leave school?"

"By Californian state law I am required to send you to school until you finish senior studies." Vaughn quoted the newly passed laws about education in America. "Look at you. Your mother would turn in her grave if she saw you."

Sarah dropped her head down and stared at the floor. She knew in so many ways that she blamed her mothers absence for her screwed up life. She dad would never remarry, she never had a mom, both her parents were only children and Francie had died in a car crash ten weeks after her fourteenth birthday. "I know."

"Stick out your tongue." Vaughn said quickly, scaring his daughter and making her jump.

"Why?" She questioned hoping to advert the conversation to something that didn't require her getting in to too much trouble.

"Stick your tongue out now!" Vaughn had tried not to raise his voice to his daughter too often but some times she pushed him over the edge. She stuck her tongue out to reveal a prefect silver sphere. "Ahh, more holes. Why do you do this? I said yes to the belly button as long as I didn't see it, I accepted the nose ring but this is going too far young lady."

Sarah felt small. She hated up setting her father, but always managed to anyway and she was starting to not care whether she did or not.

Vaughn stopped himself when his eye caught on a shiny sparkling item hung around her neck. He looked closely at it and recognized it instantly. "You're wearing your mother's pendant." He said calmly pointing at the silver necklace.

Sarah fingered it, "Yeah, I like it, it. makes me feel close to her. I know that sound silly." She looked at it, she wanted to cry, she was never told how her mother died. Never in her life had a person explained to her how her mother was taken away from her. She had once asked Vaughn if she had died giving birth, but that just made him drag out photos of her in hospital and at age three months and other stuff.

"No, I totally agree, I have the same kind of thing." He said looking at her with a new tone of voice and through different eyes.

"Really, you have something that reminds you of mom? What is it?" She was now eager to know, her father have something very special that was the one thing that kept him close to her mother, it didn't seem like him.

"You." He said in a tone that sounded to Sarah quite like: 'I will love you even if you look like Mick Jager'.

She stared at him, for the first time in a very long time she saw the father she had always wanted, he wasn't closed to her but he didn't share with her either. Then she did start to cry, he held her in his arms and let her cry. When she finally looked up she said, "Michael, can I drive?"

"Okay then Sarah." He said, then was suddenly hit with the fact that he had just put his life into the hands of a sixteen-year-old girl.

"Dad I'm changing my name to Magenta. Where are the keys?" she said and started going through his pockets.

"Magenta? What ever for?" He asked as he watched her going though his jacket, and get really frustrated.

"I like it. Dad! Where are the keys?" She said very frustrated and jumping up and down.

"I like the name Sarah. What did you mother always say?" he said smiling at her.

"Put the keys on the rack and you'll always know where to find them." They both said together and then laughed. They hugged each other as if the finally found the people they were looking for.

"Dad," she said looking up at him from his tight embrace, "While we're in the sharing mood, there's something that I really want to tell you." She seemed nervous.

"What is it sweetie?" He asked without letting her go, he want to cherish this moment forever.

"Dad, I'm having a baby." She said boldly and very frightened of what he was going to say to her.

"What?!?!?!?!?!?"