Chapter 8: Smallville Pie Council

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"The Luthor residence, how may I help you?"

"Hi, can I speak to Lex please?"

"*Mr Luthor* is very busy at the moment,"

"I'm sure *Mr Luthor* can stop the hostile takeovers for five minutes and speak to me."

"Who may I say is calling?"

"Chloe Sullivan"

"Do you have an appointment? Mr Luthor is very busy."

"I have to make an appointment to speak to the man who knows what my puke looks like?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just put the call through, it's not that hard, just push the little button on the-"

"Mr Luthor us very busy."

"What are you a broken tape recorder?"

"I doubt Mr Luthor has time to speak to you right now."

"Excellent way to rephrase... Do you have any idea who I am?"

"No..."

"Chloe Sullivan, does the name ring a bell?"

"Actually it does sound familiar... oh my gosh! Aren't you the Congresswoman from Canada!?"

"Erm... of course I am! Congresswoman Sullivan, that's me!"

"Oh dear! I apologize, I'll put you directly through to Mr Luthor."

"Thank you."

pause

"Congresswoman Sullivan I presume?"

"Sorry, I had to lie, but I couldn't get through to you! You're secretary isn't too bright by the way."

"Former Miss Metropolis's tend to have that character flaw."

"I bet you have them lining up at your door."

"Not really... they congregate around the front gate and hold up giant heart shaped picket signs."

"Fascinating... anyway I need to see you."

"Oh really....? I help you out in Metropolis and when we get back to Smallville you ignore me for three weeks. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"Luthor's have feelings?"

"We've been trying to breed the emotion-gene out of the Luthor dynasty for generations. but no such luck yet."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I just needed time to think. It's not every day that I wind up drunk in a millionaire's apartment and I just spent half an hour trying to get a hold of you so will you please listen to me?"

"Why didn't you just come over?"

"And brave the crowd of supermodels beating down your door?"

"That was a joke."

"That's comforting to know. We have to talk about what happened in Metropolis. I've been putting it off and avoiding you, but I woke up this morning and realised that I have to know... now."

"That night really wasn't a huge deal. Why don't you just let it go and forget about it?"

"This coming from a guy who still has the car he wrecked when he drove over a bridge?"

"Point taken."

"Are you going to the Farmer's Market?"

"The Farmer's Market? As in cows running around everywhere?"

"Actually they're mostly sheep."

"Well as long as they're not Bulgarian..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind, long story."

"Whatever! Meet me there in an hour."

"It's a date."

"No it's not!"

"It's just a phrase, Chloe."

"Right... well... tell your secretary that Congresswoman Sullivan of Canada says hi."

"I'll pass on your regards, see you in an hour."

The conversation ended and Lex hung up the phone. What was he supposed to tell Chloe in an hour? That she'd gotten drunk, bit his hand, kissed him, thrown up in his car and cost him $8000 dollars for a wild life conservation scheme... Just then his phone beeped again.

"Mr Luthor, there's a Victor Neufeld on line three."

Lex clenched his jaw and reached for the phone. What the hell was *he* calling for?

"What do you want Vic?"

"Now is that anyway to talk to a friend, Lex?"

"You have a strange definition for the word friend. Last time I checked we weren't friends." Lex replied icily.

"Oh yeah... that's right. Ever since LuthorCorp bought out the Asian branch of Neufeld Industries things just haven't been the same between us."

"You know that I had nothing to do with that.... it was my father's idea. Now what do you want?"

"Nothing... I just wanted to mention that I'll be stopping by Smallville later today. I have a piece of information you might be interested in...."

"I don't think you're stupid enough to blackmail a Luthor. Besides, you can't possibly have anything that could darken my reputation further."

"Really? Well I'm sure the naive residents of Smallville would be fascinated to know about the incident with the little blonde girl. What was her name again? Chloe something... we were a little preoccupied to introduce ourselves properly. From what I remember she wasn't that interested in my name anyway..."

"Leave her out of this. This problem between you and me started way before I came here or met any of these people."

"It's all part of the game Lex, remember how we toyed with each other's lives back in high school?"

"I do, but there's a distinct difference between us now, Vic."

"What's that?"

"I grew up."

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He was late. Twelve seconds late to be exact. Maybe he wasn't coming! Why would he come all the way down to a Farmer's Market anyway? He better show up though. Chloe started pacing. She'd spent an hour trying to form the perfect country girl outfit and she thought she'd done a pretty good job with the faded jeans, red flannel shirt, bandanna topped off with a cowboy hat. The epitome of the Smallville stereotype, and totally un-Chloelike.

Lana came up to Chloe wearing a similar outfit, "You waiting for somebody?" she asked when she saw Chloe fidgeting nervously and looking around.

"Uh... yeah. I'm supposed to meet Lex here, I'm ready to find out about you- know-what that happened in Metropolis." Chloe explained hurriedly. She'd told Lana everything when she'd returned to Smallville. Lana just had that *confess your sins to me* vibe and she hadn't made Chloe feel guilty either.

"I'm certain that everything will be alright, Chloe. Just relax. You look great by the way..."

"I hate dressing up for these things," Chloe muttered loosening her dark blue bandanna.

"Well, it's tradition for the pie auction. So how did your pie turn out anyway?"

Chloe smirked, "I whipped it together this afternoon... my dad forced me to. I pity the person who bids on it, but at least I can disappear before they take a bite."

"Didn't you hear? The person who bids the highest gets your pie *and* gets to have lunch with it's baker..." Lana said smiling.

Chloe's jaw dropped, "What?! When did they come up with that rule?"

"About five minutes ago." Lana replied innocently. "I mentioned it to the pie council and they said it was a great idea."

"We have a pie council?" Chloe asked, then shook her head. Could this day get any worse?

"That's just great! Clark's going to bid on your pie, Pete will bid on Erika's... I have to find someone to bid on mine!" Chloe started stressing at the thought of nobody wanting her pie... or wanting to have lunch with her...

"Smallivlle has pie auctions?" A voice behind Chloe startled her.

"Of course we do, it's tradition, Lex." Lana stated with a faraway look in her eyes. "It all goes towards a children's charity."

"Sounds like a good cause," Lex stated staring at Chloe and taking in her outfit. Her bright eyes were almost hidden by the brim of her cowboy hat.

Chloe tensed when she saw Lex. In his silver suit and spotless black shoes he definitely stood out in this crowd of people... in a good way.

"Nice duds there, cowgirl," Lex said to Chloe with a grin.

"Nice suit there richboy," Chloe shot back smirking.

"Cowgirl."

"Richboy."

"Cowgirl."

"Rich-"

"Sorry to cut in," Lana interrupted, "But we were discussing the bidding of your pie, Chloe."

Lex raised his eyebrows, "My favourite reporter bakes pie?"

Chloe blushed a little, "Well... not really..." she faltered.

"I definitely have to bid on yours," he confirmed, "I can't miss out on this opportunity."

"That's great!" Lana stated before Chloe could interrupt, "You also have to find somewhere here to camp down so you can eat the pie together,"

Chloe's blush deepened, "You really don't have to do that-"

"Nonsense, I wouldn't miss it for the world. It would be the perfect opportunity for that discussion about that uh... thing." Lex continued carefully.

"It's okay, Lex," Chloe said, sighing, "Lana knows about my exploits in Metropolis."

"I'd hardly call them exploits," Lex stated. He wished Chloe would stop beating herself up about the whole incident. It really hadn't been her fault. He wandered if he should tell her about the phone call from Vic, but then dismissed the thought... why upset her when she looked so happy...?

"Over here Clark!" Lana called when she saw him through the crowd. She gave a little wave.

"Hey, guys," Clark said jogging up to them. He paused when he saw Lex.

"Hi, Lex. I didn't know you were going to be here." Clark said a little surprised. Clark was also dressed in the standard cowboy costume, especially for the occasion.

"How could I refuse bidding on Miss Sulivan's famous pie?" Lex asked smirking.

"Her pie's are famous alright..." Clark nodded, "...famous for putting people in hospital."

Chloe smacked Clark in the arm, but he just grinned down at her.

"So will you be bidding on Lana's pie?" Chloe asked not so subtly.

Clark gave a nervous chuckle, "Of course... what are friends for?"

"Thanks again, Clark..." Lana said smiling up at him, "I couldn't bear the thought of having pie with someone I didn't like. Why don't we move up to the front? The auction's just beginning." she pulled Clark away with her.

Chloe rolled her eyes, "Those two are so obvious, I wish they'd just make out already... they hid behind the *we're just friends* for long enough!" Chloe stopped when she saw the look Lex gave her.

"What?" she asked uncomfortably.

"You acquire the most interesting expression on your face when you get irritated," Lex said bending down a little to her.

Chole glared at him.

"See! There it is again!" Lex stated.

"Very funny... now remember to bid on my pie, and don't run off."

"Why would I run off?"

"Just in case you realise that you find somebody else's pie more appealing..."

"Yours is the only pie I desire. I'm not leaving without it." Lex said, reaching out to straighten Chloe's bandanna.

Chloe held her breath at his touch, then stepped away, "About the auction, do you have cash on you?" She paused when he threw her a smirk, "Oh... wait, I forgot... you're a millionaire."

Lex nodded, "Us millionaires tend to carry cash around with us in case a beautiful reporters require us to bid on their pies."

"That happens a lot I take it?" Chloe said, purposefully ignoring the fact that Lex Luthor had indirectly called her beautiful.

"It's already happened once today... so what's the going rate for a pie?" Lex asked in a business-like tone.

"Well, it depends. Lana's will probably go up to fifty dollars, but I'll be lucky if mine reaches to fifteen." Chloe admitted with a slight smile.

"Why is that?" Lex asked a little confused.

"Have you looked at Lana Lang recently? Poor Clark has a lot of competition, especially with Whitney out of the picture. All the guys here are willing to dish out cash to have lunch with her..."

Lex sighed and looked down at Chloe, "The teenage boys of Smallville really are clueless if they're all running after Lana."

Chloe blushed a little deeper, "Look that's Lana's pie." she said pointing to the makeshift platform in the field. A large crowd congregated quickly.

Lex glanced upwards and saw Clark biding furiously along with a few other lovesick guys. The price rose steadily till Clark was the only one left with a offer.

"Ladies and Gentleman lets give Miss Lang a round of applause for raking in a record price for her pie... eighty-five dollars!" the auctioneer's voice boomed over the speakers and mingled with the sound of clapping.

Chloe laughed, "Poor Clark... grinning like an idiot after blowing two months worth of allowance!"

"The following is a delicious cherry pie, made by Chloe Sullivan, shall we start the bidding at ten dollars? Remember folks, the highest bidder also gets to take the lovely Miss Sullivan out to lunch." The auctioneer stated expressively.

Chloe groaned. Having her pie auctioned for a measly ten dollars after Lana's impressive eighty-five would be so embarrassing.

Lex raised his hand, "Ten dollars!"

"Ten dollars from the man in the suit! Do I a hear twenty? For this once-in- a-lifetime, delicious cherry pie created by Miss Sullivan."

There was a pause before Clark raised his hand, "Twenty!" he said, then winked at Chloe.

"Thanks for upping the price, Clark," Chloe said to herself.

Lex grinned and raised his hand again, "Forty!" He was actually enjoying this.

"I have a Forty from the man in a suit. Do I hear a fifty...? No? Going once, going twice... so-"

"One thousand dollars!" A man from the back called. There was a murmur from the crowd as heads turned to see who the new bidder was.

Chloe gulped, "Isn't that..."

"Vic." Lex stated.

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Please Review!

I'd like to make a formal apology to Sicily and anyone else to who gets dizzy and nauseous while reading this fic. It wasn't my intention to give Chlex fans migraines... really! I had this mental picture of people dropping out of their seats while reading. I guess I do get carried away with the POV changes... anyway, if anyone gets seriously injured, send me the doctor's bill.