"Besides, if anyone wishes to see me, I know they'll come and find me."

It was supposed to be a small jab at her insistence, that was all. Xiao didn't think he would see her, but he found himself waiting for her anyway, and he didn't understand why.

Xiaolumi Week 2022 [SFW] — Day 1: At the Lantern Rite

•••

"Besides, if anyone wishes to see me, I know they'll come and find me," he gave her a look after he said it, hinting at the meaning behind his words. She raised an eyebrow at him as a smirk played at her lips.

"So whether I'm here or in the city… It makes no difference." He'd already turned away, for some reason unable to hold eye contact with that molten gold of hers. Through the corner of his eye, he managed to see her place her fists on her hips.

"You better wait for me, then, because I don't take jabs like those lightly, you know."

Xiao scoffed.


That interaction had happened hours ago, and he remained in the same place, legs crossed as he tried to meditate instead of restlessly thinking about her.

She didn't show up for the fireworks show, not at Wangshu Inn. Verr Goldet had insisted he made the arduous effort to keep them company during the celebration from afar, in case he was against the idea of sitting at the table with them. The woman was awfully stubborn and didn't take no for an answer, so he had to comply in the end.

Still, as he looked at the inn staff and the fireworks, her face didn't leave his thoughts as her words echoed in his mind. That unfocused state remained after leaving the inn, and not even meditating near Pervases' temple seemed to help.

He didn't expect her to take his words to heart, and it would be logical he shouldn't take her own words seriously—she always joked, always teased, it wasn't anything he was unfamiliar with.

No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that she wouldn't come, that she was probably busy helping in the city like the previous year, Xiao would still turn his head at any noise with the hope of seeing her prideful smile. He found disappointment instead.

Was he expecting to see her because of what she'd told him… or because he wanted to see her? Her company wasn't a nuisance, he could admit that much, yet since when did he search for it?

This… uneasiness had been haunting him for a while, this fluttering sensations in his stomach and chest whenever she showed, and whenever she wasn't present, moments with her replayed in his memories.

For a moment he thought it was aversion, but he came to notice that the quickened beating of his heart and the need to soak in the sight of her were… pleasant sensations. Odd, but pleasant all the same.

He didn't have a name for it—or did he? Something came to mind, a word that meant too much for him to consider, one that entailed a vulnerability he wasn't willing to show to anyone.

But, when he thought about her, about her laughter and her happiness and her company, he wasn't averse to the idea of her being the cause of it.

"Xiao."

He felt his fingers twitch and his breath hitch in his throat, but none of that was clear when he turned his head to find her a couple of feet away, two lanterns in hand.

"I told you, didn't I?"

She did.

Maybe he underestimated how persistent she could be, or maybe that was what he was trying to tell himself.

The traveler—No, they were far past that point.

Lumine walked over and sat down next to him, scooting a little closer once she was seated. She didn't waste a second and explained away what made her take so long—not like he cared if she was late, since he couldn't be happier with her being there in the first place.

As she talked about mundane details, Xiao couldn't help but admire her now that he was aware he might or might not feel something for her.

"I want you to wish for something for yourself," she spoke up just after he was done writing his wish. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Am I not supposed to wish for whatever I want?"

"Well… yeah, but I want you to be a little selfish for once. You deserve it."

With a sigh, he complied.

Even after releasing the lanterns, their wishes written on each one, while her eyes looked at them float away with an awed smile, Xiao saw her as the brightest light that night, and he came to terms with this new, but not unwelcome emotion blooming in his heart.

"I wish for her to remain untainted by my karma," was written and scribbled right below was his selfish desire,

"So I am able to stay by her side and love her appropriately."