A/N: This is an idea that I had while I was writing Operation: Swear Jar that just WOULD. NOT. GO. AWAY. So hear I am with a new fic fresh off the heels of another!
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING.
And Awaaaaaay We GO!
The Pit. To some people it's just some U.S. Military base in some Midwestern desert of the United States. But, to a few members of the Pentagon's top brass, It is known as the official home of Special Counter Terrorism Task Force Delta, codename: G.I. Joe! Each member is a master in their field, making G. I. Joe a well choreographed fighting force for dealing with terrorist threats such as COBRA.
However, for all their professionalism, the team could probably come off as close to certifiably insane. After all, when you're not fighting an enemy, you're fighting boredom. As a result, stupid things happen, as the leader of the team Brigadier General Clayton "Hawk" Abernathy had found out ever since the team's beginning. So, in an effort to combat these occurrences, he posted a set of rules.
THE RULES OF THE PIT
1. Never piss off the brass on purpose.
(They will make you pay-dearly.)
2. Do not talk the greenshirts into doing dumb things for your entertainment.
(Seriously, don't.)
3. If Shipwreck and/or Clutch think its a good idea for fun, it will end in disaster.
(Human Slingshot? Really?)
4. On the other hand, if Shipwreck and/or Clutch think its a bad idea for fun, listen to them.
(If even they won't do it, that should tell you all you need to know.)
5. No more tank races.
(The punishment is not worth it.)
6. If Beach Head is cheerful and happy early in the morning, PT will be hellish and painful.
(This should be pretty obvious.)
7. Never piss off Roadblock.
(The man doesn't get usually get angry but when he does...)
9. Grenades are not toys. So, no more grenade baseball, hockey, or RAM cycle polo.
(Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you people?!?!?!)
10. Never let Shipwreck talk you into going to a sailor bar.
(Duke had a rather nasty black eye for a week after.)
11. Eat Gung-Ho's Cajun Gumbo at your own risk.
(Beach Head's co-tankers still haven't forgiven him for what is now known as The Great MOBAT Hot-Box incident.)
12. Do NOT sexually harass the women on this base!
(Do you really want to piss off an elite martial artist, a professional javelin thrower, or a former model who drives tanks for a living?!?!)
13. Stop stuffing Beach Head's foot locker with deodorant.
(It was funny the first time, but now it's getting old.)
14. Never mess with Clutch's car.
(Seriously, you don't mess with a man's wheels.)
15. It is not a good idea to steal from Shipwreck's super secret secret liquor stash.
(He went overboard to find out who did it.)
16. If you are on a mission in a jungle, don't swing from a vine.
(Falcon found this out the hard way.)
17. Do not change another Joe's ringtone without permission.
(Jinx was responsible for the creation of this rule in the aftermath of Falcon's Vine-Swinging incident.)
18. You are not allowed to use any of the Jackass movies for inspiration for anything.
(Yet another reason why everybody hates Beach Head. Not that he cares.)
19. Remember, there is a video camera and recorder in EVERY aircraft.
(The video of Ace singing in his cockpit is still an internet sensation.)
20. Supply closets are for supplies only, NOT for hooking up.
(This means You, Duke and Scarlett!)
So whaddya think about this idea huh?
Next will be chapters on how each rule was created.
YO JOE!!!
