Notes:It is as you can see a crossover between the 2 brands which I decided to make due to the amount of references they do of each other, before you ask, yes I know these 2 brands are very different which is the point of my crossover, to use that as source of tension hence the "Vs" in the title.
Disclaimer:I own and regret NOTHING!
It was a normal morning in the little town in Oregon called Gravity Falls, one look and you would think of it as some peaceful urban country, except it isn't thanks to being the magnet for monsters, conspiracies, a literal Armageddon, and the falling saucer which just came from a green glue-like portal.
The said saucer crashed and landed 1 foot away from two idiotic excuses of a cop who were busy drinking from mugs before both simultaneously spit their coffees.
"PSSSSHU-! *Cough cough*holy mother of donuts!" Sheriff Blubs exclaimed.
"Did you see that!?" Sheriff Durland cried out.
"I see it alright! And it ain't a hallucination from coffee mixed with alcohol this time!" Blurbs stated.
"We should call the cops! Wait-we are the cops!" Blurb's partner declared in realization.
"Come!" Blurb said as he and Durland followed the trail of smoke.
What they saw was a weird hybrid between a classic saucer and a car with smoke coming from it and jizzes with electricity.
"W-we probably should call backup!" Blurb's colleague vocalized nervousness.
"Come on, saucers are not exactly the weirdest thing in this town, who knows maybe the aliens are just tourists!" Blurb tried to assure his companion.
Then a door from the saucer opens, and from it, a couple of empty bottles fall, a slender hand grabs from one side of the door and comes out strugglingly. What came they didn't see clearly due to all the smoke, to them it was a humanoid-shaped slender being with blue hair which dazzled and walked toward them to their tense stand.
"Eh-hem-I m-mean are you a-alright-sir or what?" Blurbs spoke anxiously as he reached his hand to his taser, his partner was anxious too; however, What comes from the entity will send them running and screaming.
"Wu-Lubba-Dub Du-BLURRRRRP!" a stinky ammonia odor comes from the being's mouth after uttering its alien words like a skunk.
"AAAAAAAH!" Both policemen hug each other and run until they leave a mile away from it, or rather him.
" *Aaaargh*Woah, so that's what a gas emission feels like!" He commented in his hangover, next he injected himself with a syringe.
Just then, a smaller being with a yellow shirt and disheveled look comes out of the saucer.
"R-rick! Why do you keep drinking while flying!?" The little entity shouted.
"Hmmm, much better…" he throws his syringe "And that's how you solve global warming!" Rick's hangover was cured while he stretched.
"Rick! We are now in some weird dimension of pine trees! What if they are sentient and we just destroyed some of them while crashing!?" Morty uttered in fear, he meant the pine trees that the ship broke while it crashed.
"Oh relax Morty, we would just portal back to-" he stops his sentence as he sees the portal gun which grabbed keeps sparkling from damage.
"Oops, I should definitely make my Portal Gun less damageable!" the scientist noted.
"Oh gee, w-we are lost! Now we have to live in the woods and drink our recycled piss AGAIN!" Rick's companion voiced concern with both of his hands on his head.
"Oh stop bitching! I once fixed my shit with mere woods in a dimension where woods taste like jerky! All I need is to just search for materials, now if I just see what dimension we are here…" he checks to see what dimension he and his hyperventilating grandson are.
"Let's see…dimension 46- well shit! Come, Morty! I know where I can fix my Portal Gun!" Rick announced and walked as Morty followed.
After minutes of walking using an advanced relocator, they stumble upon a strange cabin from a 50-foot distance, but before they reach it they meet a denizen of this dimension.
"Oh HELLO!"
"AAAAH!" Morty steps back, before being relieved that it is just some old lady with one eye open instead of some weird horror, Rick on the other hand looked at her in disgust.
"I'm Suzan! You must be new here!" the old woman said in a friendly manner.
"Sorry, no interruption in moving the plot." The nihilistic man then grabs a cylinder from his coat, it is a piece of machinery with an upside-down cone at its end that sparkles with blue electricity.
"Whoa, What's this-" Before their greeter could finish, Rick grabs her in a move and puts the machinery into her blinded eye, with the sound of machinery working.
"AH! OH! IT TICKLES! OH!?" Rick's victim says in pain.
"RICK!?" the yellow shirt boy shouted in alarm.
"Just a sec, almost…there!" The white coat man brings his cylinder, puts it back in his coat, and leaves the poor lady.
"Aw, what was that for??" Rick's subject questioned as she nuzzles her eternally blindsided eye.
"Haven't you noticed one of your eyes is off? I just regrow the synapse of your eyelids."
Suzan blinks repeatedly, as she finds out both of her eyes now blink simultaneously, which leads to her expression being changed into joy.
"I can see with both of my eyes! Thank you, stranger! How can I-"
"Leave us be." the blue-haired man told her with a deadpan expression.
"Okay!" Suzan abridged cheerfully, not before she blinked flirtatiously, thus Rick's expression turns into revulsion with his teeth, but Suzan was oblivious to that.
The duo starts continuing their walk toward the cabin.
"Uhm…Grandpa Rick, what is this place?" Morty inquired.
"Isn't that obvious? It's a cabin! Do I need to go to one exposition bullcrap every time we are on an adventure?" Rick answered sarcastically. "As to why we are here? Let's just say an old acquaintance of mine works here." Rick continued as he opened the door.
What they see looks like a tourist trap with merch, antiques, a unicorn made of corn, and the cashier's place in which a lean figure sat there, too focused on a magazine she was reading.
"Well look at this dump! Only someone as gullible as Jerry would believe all this." the blue-haired scientist voiced his opinion as he looked around.
"The old acquaintance you mentioned, how do you know him? Is he like your ex?" Morty asked.
"Ha! No! Leave that for shippers! He was a newbie when I found him, kept directionless hopping between dimensions like a tailless dumb cat, we were partners for some time, punching mustache villains, went from one trouble to another, committing crimes in the name of freedom because governments suck, get the girls(though in some cases we didn't even know what gender they were or even if they had a gender) all that adventure bullshit until his disneyish "morality" decided to go corny and we departed because APPARENTLY." Rick used 2 indexes of each of his hands in a gesture "My awesome ways are too much for his "friendship is magic" brain of his to handle." Rick explained as he rolled his eyes.
Rick's grandkid wasn't sure how to answer his grandpa until they were greeted by a chubby man in a suit with a fez, an eyepatch, and a cane who stepped in.
"Oh hi, dudes! Welcome to the mystery shack! Are you ready to be amazed and be-... I mean be-... befuddled?" He paused, wondering.
"Anyway! Here-"
"I'm going to stop you right there before you sing and dance like some damn Disney princess which gives me the urge to gag, we are here for a man named Stan Pines, do you know him?" the old man cuts the tubby man before he finishes.
"Oh, you friends of Mr. Pines the previous Mr. Mystery? He is right there." The gopher-like man pointed to an old man who was struggling in drinking what looks like coffee and nightmare of having a baby.
Soos leaves and Rick nodes on Morty to follow him as he walks toward the elder man.
"Really Stanford? I know you sometimes lose it, but I wasn't expecting…this." Rick gestured around, grabbing his attention.
"Seriously, What's with the Tourist Trap? I thought you wanted to be a respected scientist, have you become so lazy that you have to make-up cryptids like some Victorian-era taxidermist?"
The old man blinked in confusion, he had never seen this blue-haired man, yet he seems to know him. "Eh…do I know you? Are you one of my indebts I conned out of?" He inquired with perplexity.
"Hello? Rick Sanchez? The smartest man in the multiverse? The blue turd who saved your nerdy ass in a bar?" Multiverse's self-proclaimed smartest man replied sarcastically.
"Oh…well funny story, I think you've mistaken me for my twin." The middle-aged man retorted in revelation from the implications.
"Last I checked your brother Shermie did not share a womb at the same time with you."
"No, that's my other brother."
Rick raises an eyebrow "Other brother? I thought you only had one brother?"
Stan slightly twitched, and looked a bit hurt by that information, Morty noticed but Rick didn't care "ehhhh, I never told you about my twin Stanley? He is-"
"Oh my nonexisting God!" the nihilistic scientist uttered as he rubbed his eyes "So, what are you saying, is that at some point you stranded yourself in some unoriginal eldritch dimension, drove yourself to total madness, and fabricated a twin brother just so you can have a companion? Your outdated sense of right and wrong was bad enough, but this takes the cake! You really lost it, Stanford, reeeeally lost it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you REALLY need to visit a shrink buddy."
Out of nowhere, a six-fingered hand touched Rick on his shoulder "Rick!? What are you-"
Both Rick and Morty started in surprise "HOLY SHIT!" the interdimensional criminal in one swift move points a blaster from his left hand and his right hand turned into a cannon.
"Okay, who is the evil alternate version? Or is this a cloning thing!?" he threatens "Start talking or one you are going to experience an immediate release from your bladder and it's not going to be pretty!"
The six-fingered man stepped in "It's me, Stanford! Who you were talking to is my twin Stanley!" Ford volumed.
"Really? Now changing the last part of your first name is a thing now? If you are really the Stanford I know then tell me, have you ever danced with a Shrimp naked on a public Shrompomo?"
Both men were silent, unsure how to reply "huh?" Stan's twin uttered in uncertainty.
"I guessed so." Sanchez lowers his gun and his canon hand returns to normal "How come you never mentioned you have a twin? It's so cliché."
"Well…It's a BIT complicated…" Ford said.
"Understatement of the century…" Stan stated blandly.
Ford ignores his twin and turns his attention to Rick "What brings you here?".
"Ship crashed and my Portal gun broke. I figured you would have the materials I need to stop my short-sighted grandson Morty from whining."
Poindexter's eyes widened in surprise "Grandson? I have grandkids too, well grand niece and nephew but still…" he went off, smiling as he described them, his grand-nephew particularly "Heck, my great nephew, Dipper is very smart like me, must run in the family. Reminds me of when I was younger, that boy is bound for great things, mark words." His attention is now focused on Morty "So, Morty I take it you also aim to become a brilliant scientist?"
Morty's mouth gaped, trying to find an answer to that question "I uh-uh…"
"I'm not here for your Morties Sixer, Will you help me fix my Portal Gun or not?" Rick stepped in an impatient tone, unintentionally saving Morty from embarrassment.
"Hey! Only I get to call Ford as Sixer!" Stanley complained.
"Sure, it is in my lab downstairs, I'll take you there," Ford said as he guided Rick and his grandson.
"Whatever, you nerds have fun while I finish my great niece's DELIGHTFUL drink." Mabel's favorite Grunkle said Delightful in a forced tone and slight shudder.
Just then, someone intervened.
"Great Uncle Ford! I just wrote my first discovery in my Journal-"
The boy with a red brandit lumberjack jacket with a hoodie and blue pants notices Morty and Rick, "Oh, hi." He greets politely.
"Dipper, this is Rick, one of my old acquaintances and his grandson Morty." the boy's favorite Great Uncle introduced.
"Sup kid." the blue-haired elder casually greet with a hand in his pocket, the yellow shirt kid on the other hand was sheepish.
An idea lit up in Rick's head "Hey buddy, this is the perfect time to hang out with kids of your own age, you go have fun with the smart Morty and Girl Morty while I and Sixer are here to fix my Portal in peace."
"Um…sure?" Morty replied in worry.
"Great Uncle Ford? Can I at least show what I write really quick?" Dipper asked.
"Sorry Dipper, I have work to do and Rick needs my help. When I'm done, show me your entry during the DDD campaign."
"No problem." The boy with a trapper hat smiled and then led Morty away.
"Are you kidding? You still play that DnD rip-off? You are a fucking geek Ford! What are you, some kind of Fantasy enthusiast to the point that you would play a knockoff willingly?" Rick spoke as Ford put his codes on the vending machine.
Rick's used-to-be-partner turned around "No, he is." He points at the current Mr. Mystery who was talking to someone on the phone on camera about the fantasy genre.
"So you see Melody? You don't have to worry about your long-relative not liking your present for his birthday, this genre is specifically geared toward…" Soos kept talking to his fiance Melody online about why the present was perfect due to its representation of his long relatives demographic and having Wyrms and Dragons which are two different things and Demons and Devils which for some reason are not the same thing.
"...I take back what I said." the interdimensional traveling-blue-haired criminal announced as he saw Soos geeking around.
Notes:As for when the next chapter comes? no clear timetable so don't expect another chapter anytime soon.
