I don't know what this is. We are going directly from the last line in the book. Also, I'm probably going to rewrite this when I can listen to the audio version of their last scene again. Since I can't do that now, I have to post so I will stop trying to figure out how it's not quite right.
In the Broken Light of Day
Scarlett found herself drawn to the dining room, fearful of watching Rhett emerge back down the stairs and go to that wretched woman's place. She needed fortification to get through the night. To survive until the morning when she could return to Tara and Mammy.
She had just started to fill the glass when she recalled the reason she had returned to Atlanta.
Melly.
Had Melly already gone or was she still suffering?
Someone like Melly didn't deserve to suffer.
The liquor sloshed over the rim as she recalled the children were in Marietta. Her eyes closed at the thought of having to tell the children.
How dare Rhett leave the children when Melly was gone.
The children would be broken just like he said they were, she was. The children would be broken and there would only be her to hold them.
It had been years since she had been able to comfort them, years since they had sought out her arms instead of Melly's.
Scarlett downed half the overfilled glass in a single desperate swallow as she realized she wouldn't be able to escape to Tara, to Mammy. She would have to retrieve the children from the train, tell them, deal with the funeral, with Aunt Pittypat, Ashley, Beau, Wade and Ella.
She swallowed the other half as she felt the world collapsing around her worse than minutes ago with Rhett.
She braced herself.
This wasn't that awful fall of '64. Those awful long years that followed. She had survived those she would survive this.
She felt her body start to shake; she noticed her hands shaking as she went to pour another glass.
Damn Rhett Butler, he had promised her.
She took a desperate sip. Oh, he had promised her so much when he had proposed.
Tonight, she had thought that for once she wouldn't have to be strong, but she was wrong. They were all depending on her once again. She had to carry them all through once again.
She couldn't do it.
She finished her second glass before she even felt the effects of the first glass.
Still though she knew it would come. She needed to be abed. She had to face the children. They couldn't arrive home to an empty platform. She poured another glass and then slowly walked down the hall and up the stairs.
She paused at the top and turned. Her hand seeking out her stomach and the child lost in a fit of anger.
Her eyes closing as she recalled seeing her dear, sweet Bonnie that day. That tiny little toddler, desperately climbing up the stairs to see her.
Rhett had never been able to make Bonnie truly only his, Scarlett should have fought him harder for her, not let the hurt of that sweet little baby being what he wanted instead of her overtake everything else.
She had been so grateful in that moment to have them back.
Now they were both gone, despite Rhett being down the hallway. She turned and headed back towards her room, she suddenly contemplated throwing her glass at his door, only then she would lose the precious liquid it contained and she needed it. If she didn't have him, she needed it to stay strong.
Perhaps the first years after the fall of Atlanta would have been easier if she could have at least had a full glass.
She summoned a maid to help her undress and as she slid into bed without even a single pass of her brush, she was haunted by her earlier thought, "Tomorrow is another day."
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Scarlett slept fitfully the entire night and her thoughts only grew worse as the daylight began to seep into the room with the shade she hadn't had fully drawn. She was still abed when she heard his door open and close in the frightfully still house.
She eventually arose and began her morning routine without the aid of a maid. She had no appetite; she had no want of a breakfast tray. Eventually, she called a maid to help her dress and make sure the carriage was prepared so she would arrive before the children. The concept of them standing alone on a platform as she was about to rip their heart out made it even worse.
She didn't ask after Rhett, she hadn't heard the entirety of his closet being taken out of the room, so there was at least that. If he had left, he hadn't left with much. She hadn't so much as even quivered when the maid told her Melly passed in the night. She went to the kitchen herself and informed the staff they would need to provide food for the Wilkes household and requested several staff go over to the house and clean.
Pork took her first to the Wilkes, it took everything she had not to break down as Beau's arms wrapped around her waist. The rage she felt at the loud cries coming from Pittypat, India and Honey and that Ashley nowhere to be seen likely helped counter her sorrow.
She had no words to comfort a child, "We'll get through this," was all she could think to say, "I promise you."
She instructed Dilcey she was going to retrieve the children and to take Beau over to Peachtree to await them. She silenced anyone that tried to object with a look. Uncle Peter quietly informed her once Beau was out of the room that he had gotten the undertaker out with the sunrise to take Melly's body, Scarlett promised to see the undertaker for the rest of the arrangements after she collected the children from the train. Uncle Henry was to take the morning train from Augusta and would be in town by late afternoon. As her staff arrived and Scarlett reviewed what she expected of them, she was at least able to let out a soft breath realizing Uncle Peter would be there to watch over them. Just as he had always watched over everything in the Hamilton household.
She almost asked one of Ashley's sisters to select a dress for Melly to be laid out in and then realized she could certainly never wish an eternity on her dear friend in an outfit picked out by a Wilkes sister.
With shoulders thrown back she took the stairs in the light of day, a different misery awaiting her. One worse than saying goodbye to Melly, it was Melly being gone.
Her room was empty and cold as if all warmth had left with her. The bed stripped clean, bare of the horror that had gone on the day before.
Scarlett perfunctory performed her task. Selecting a dress she had gifted Melly with well over a year before when Scarlett had grown annoyed by seeing the same dresses day after day. Scarlett had never understood why Melly was so frugal with herself, Ashley's salary had been more than enough to provide for some basic luxuries. She gathered up all necessary items, laying them on a chair because she found herself unable to approach the bed. She headed back downstairs to the rest of her duties and instructed a servant to bring them to the undertaker and promised the morose parlor that she would return later.
o~o~o
As Pork helped her out of the coach she took in the station, once booming, the crash had slowed travel. She wondered if not for the first time if the market would ever recover, wondering if she should believe in Rhett as she had that they would be fine. Would she find herself and the children desolate once again? Her throat tightened and she wanted to flee back into the safety of her carriage. It was already happening at Kennedy's and she couldn't face it, couldn't face having to decide whose credit to extend and whose to stop. She had fled with the children to Marietta instead of facing it. Rhett had seemingly secured her funds, but for how long and for how long she could carry not just her family, but Atlanta through this.
She was suddenly struck by a panic and the urge to empty Kennedy's of its dry goods and send them all to Tara, to bunker down with the children and hide until this too passed. She had no fear of it until now, suddenly aware of how much faith she had placed in Rhett to make sure she and the children were not affected by it. It was just her now, just her once more.
She regretted not waiting in the carriage until she heard their train approaching, she forced herself to carry on, towards the platform.
As she saw him on the platform she wanted to run to him, she wanted to run to him once more and beg his forgiveness. She couldn't do this. She couldn't do this again.
She didn't crumple though, she squared her shoulders even more and walked towards her husband.
She thought it odd as generic greetings passed their lips. Why though, she did not know. For years that was all that passed their lips.
They stood in silence near each other for several moments.
"When are you leaving?" Scarlett asked, being oblivious and ignorant had only failed her, so she stiffened her spine for the facts.
"After Miss Melly's funeral. She was too fine a woman to have her death be marked by talk of you and her husband if yours were missing."
"You…" Scarlett could feel body begin to shake, feel tears begin to pool in her eyes.
"Don't start this again Scarlett," he held out a handkerchief.
She took it and then laughed softly. "You had to tell me you were leaving me and your love for me had worn out, right after I, after she," she laughed softly again and dabbed at the tears that started down her cheeks as she closed her eyes. Her eyes opened and they were a piercing green, "It is remarkable Rhett that you are the strongest person I know, but your love for me makes you into a cruel coward, even when it's gone."
"Scarlett-" Rhett's eyes began to harden.
"Odd, you always knew I was obstinate and too simple, a silly little country girl. You talked in riddles to confuse me, you would be loving then cruel, you-" she focused her gaze hard on him, "you cast me away when our daughter was born, then acted like a wounded puppy when I returned the favor. You left me after our last night together without a word, after I did everything you wanted. How did I not humble myself enough for you that night? You left and while I was worrying about you laying in a ditch somewhere, you were thinking of how to protect your precious ego and how to hurt me again. I cannot fathom how anyone who claims to love another person can break their heart so many times."
"Divorce-"
"Oh no," she shook her head at him, "you did this. You proposed. The worst heartbreak, you stole my friend from me and replaced him with you. You threw away our friendship because you couldn't stand the thought of me in bed with another and you couldn't live up to any of your promises except for the money. All those promises to a broken girl and you wonder why I'm a broken woman. You wanted this marriage, I didn't, that stupid girl knew better but you couldn't see past your ego. I believe there's a saying Captain Butler, you made your bed now lay in it."
His face was empty, emotionless as he spoke, "I will be informing people at Miss Melly's funeral that I delayed business travel to attend. Do not expect me to return for several months."
"I would suggest Greece, learn all about those tragic heroes, but I imagine we've both learned the downfall of our pride," Scarlett let out another hardened laugh. "Tell me Rhett is there a novel about a broken fool and a prideful coward falling in love and actually being happy? I'm sure it must be possible. For the life of me though, I can't imagine how."
"There is that cruel wife of mine," his voice held a hint of amusement.
"Your honest wife. I suppose, you would have liked for me to cry all those times you were mean, when your affection just vanished. You wanted me to show you just how much you hurt me, so you would know I felt something. Didn't you?"
"Are you quite done, my pet? I hear the train approaching. I imagine the loss of Miss Melly will be more than too much for the children to handle."
"The fight is gone, the dream is done. I will do what I promised Melly. I will be kind to you, I will take care of Beau and do my best to watch over the mills." She paused and looked at him, looked at him in the harsh light of day, the lines on his face so deep now they wouldn't even be erased in sleep. She smiled softly, "I imagine it will be easier to be kind now. It's almost freeing that there isn't a heart left to break."
The language in this is totally wrong, apologies. Obviously, I had some feelings about the book and characters that I needed to get out and NO ONE wanted these emotions in the other fic. :-P
