Ibuki: Disclaimer! The author does not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners!
"Is this thing on?" Sarge wondered, checking the camera. "Helloooo?" He tapped the camera.
"Sir, I believe it's already recording." Simmons said.
"It is? Oh wonderful!" Sarge cleared his throat. "Hello there, fellow readers! I am Sarge from the popular web series Red vs Blue!"
"And I'm Simmons from the same series!"
"Boy, does it feel good to be in a new story!" Sarge chuckled. "I can already smell the potential!"
"How did you convince the author to do this?"
"Weeeeell…"
Earlier…
"Cheer up, Nan-chan!" Ibuki rubbed his shoulders. "Chibi may be over, but think of all the memories everyone had. That should count for something, right?"
"Heheh… yeah, you're definitely right."
"Ibuki knows what'll cheer ya up. You wanna play Smash?"
"Sure." He nodded as they went into the living room to play some Smash Bros.
"Roy!"
"Rosalina and Luma!"
"Oh, going with Rosie, eh?" The author smirked.
"Yup yup!" Ibuki grinned as they selected the stage.
"Three! Two! One!"
SMASH!
"Wah!" The author yelped as the front door was knocked down.
"Hold it! Hooooold everything!" Sarge walked in. "Just because Chibi is done doesn't mean the fun can't be over!"
"My front door…"
"You know how our show had PSAs over nonsensical stuff? We might as well do the same for this series too!"
"PSAs?"
"Bingo! And you can have your own cameos and give out your thoughts on certain subjects! You can also invite your friends on that Discord thing to have 'em be part of the fun too!"
"Oh, I like the sound of that. I'm in!"
"Perfect! I knew you would see things my way! …By the way, you might wanna pay attention to the TV."
"Huh?"
"GAME! Rosalina and Luma WIN!"
"WOOHOO!"
"HUH?! I thought I paused it!"
Back in the present…
"I thought you announced it in the last skit?" Simmons asked.
"That was my chibi self. This is how my non-chibi self is doing it!"
Simmons sweatdropped. "Ooookay then."
"Now then, what you'll expect in this PSA series is what you'll expect to see in Chibi. Absolute nonsensical fun! We'll dive right into the shenanigans and all that fun stuff, not to mention we'll also be having BGMs this time AND, for the very first time that'll happen in the series… confessionals!"
"Confessionals…?"
"Yes, you know… like what they do on those reality TV shows!"
"Ugh, like those stupid shows like Survivor, Big Brother-"
"Hey!" Sarge gave him a glare. "I will not stand for such slander for Survivor and Hell's Kitchen! I will not hear any bad mouthing about Gordon Ramsey!"
"What about Big Brother?"
"That show is good for everyone wanting a good laugh over whining babies." Sarge chuckled. "Anywho! Let's get on with this first segment!"
PSA: Hacked Games
"As you can see on the title card, we're here to talk to you about Hacked Games!" Sarge said.
"Indeed. When playing a video game, people are expected to have fun and enjoy themselves. There's a genre for everyone. Platformer, Fighting, Racing, FPS, MMO, MOBA, Action, Adventure-"
"Boring games like Point and Click with no action going on… not to mention those Visual Novel games that I will never understand how people get entertained by those…"
"Sarge!"
"What?"
"Some people like a casual wholesome game of point and click or visual novel games!"
"Wholesome… HA! Tell that to Doki Doki Literature Club."
"That's! …A fair point."
"Anywho, there is a genre for everyone. But, there comes a point where people get bored out of their minds while playing games and they decide to… spruce up their experience for whatever reason. That's right, they decide to hack their own games and see what kind of nonsense they can do! Kind of like a certain hacker we all know."
Confessional - Futaba
Futaba was busy typing away on her keyboard. "…Hmm?" She turned her head and saw the camera. "What? Just because I'm a hacker doesn't mean I hack games! Sheesh!" Futaba went back to typing. "You go and hack Remnant's network one time just to see what makes it tick and everyone thinks you hack games for a living…" She mumbled.
End confessional
"Most of the time, hacking can be a fun experience to enhance or make changes to the gameplay." Simmons said. "This is the usual case of being bored and you have way too much time on your hands."
"Yeah, like in Super Mario 64! There's such a hack that can make Mario have infinite jumps and make him jump as high as inhumanly possible! …And then make him fall on top of Peach's Castle where a spire will pierce right through his body and have him instantly die." Sarge let out a growl. "Lousy sadistic bastards…"
Confessional - Peach
"They do WHAT to my man?!" She yelled and then pulled out a Fire Flower, absorbing it with a fiery look in her eyes. "I'll be right back."
End confessional
"Or they can do something silly like change Mario into a Goomba." Simmons said.
Confessional - Mario Bros
"PFFFT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luigi laughed hysterically, falling on his back while continuing to laugh, all the while Mario had his arms folded in annoyance.
"I don't find that amusing…"
End confessional
"Wait, so you mean to tell me they can turn Mario into a Goomba and have said Goomba destroy Bowser?"
"Yes!"
"…The Goomba Revolution has begun…" Sarge mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I'll be right back." Sarge took off running. "YAAAAAAAH! YOU'RE NOT GONNA KILL ME WITH YOUR GOLDEN OVERLORD, GOOMBAS!"
Simmons sweatdropped. "Ooookaaaaay…" He said. "Anyway, most of the time, the hacks are pretty harmless for the most part. Sometimes people decide to make brand new games called Fanhacks and make brand new experiences such as Another Metroid 2 Remake or AM2R for short-"
"That sounds suspiciously like ASMR!" Sarge would say, firing his shotgun. "Yaaaah! Die Goombas!"
"…Huh, it kinda does." Simmons mused. "Anyway, people tend to make fangames like AM2R or the many many many Pokemon fanhacks because the fans truly love their work."
"Unfortunately, Nintendo hates fun!"
"To be fair, Sarge… Nintendo has every legal right to do so because they own the copyright and they are just trying to protect it. They are technically in the ri-"
Sarge's shotgun popped up in front of the camera. "NINTENDO HATES FUN."
"…Right, right, of course. My mistake, sir. Nintendo hates fun."
"That's more like it!" The shotgun left the camera as Sarge proceeded to shoot up more Goombas.
"Anyway, there are also games like the classic Fire Emblem games that people love to recreate and add in new original scenarios or make it from the ground up and come up with a new plot to make a different kind of game!"
Sarge walked back into the scene. "Damned rascals… they're a slippery bunch. I blame Captain Goomba! Anyway, just because you wanna hack a game for the sheer fun of it does mean you should hack EVERY game. We're talking about hacking in multiplayer games, and if you hack in a multiplayer game, you are a scumbag!"
"Yes, just because it is fun for you does not make it fun for everyone else. Sure, it might be fun if a hacker is on your side and you win a match that you were about to lose… however, it will become rather boring after winning every match."
"Yes sir, or better yet, there are some multiplayer games that make you a damned cheater and that ain't fun. It makes you look bad." Sarge said. "For instance! Take Pokemon Home for example!"
"…Uh, sir, that's not a game. It's an app. You can only categorize-"
"If you interact with an app, then it's a game! No exceptions!"
Your philosophy is weird… Simmons thought.
"You might be wondering "What's Pokemon Home gotta do with this?". Well, my good reader… allow me to paint you a picture. There's this poodle that goes by the name of Furfrou and Pokemon Home recently updated to allow Furfrou to be added to the game. However… people got a little… dickish."
"Wait a minute, how did Furfrou get in Home if it's not available in Let's Go and Sword and Shield?"
"Ever heard of Pokemon GO?"
"Oooh… I wonder how people in Galar are taking it…"
In Galar…
"I don't know!" Leon exclaimed as he was on the phone. "I don't know why you can't bring in your Furfrou into the region. Macro Cosmos made a very complicated system to allow certain Pokemon in the region and they made it impossible for me to turn it around! Why? Because Oleana knows how to do it and she disappeared off of the face of the world! Even Rose told me this and he's in prison! It's a headache for all of us! …I don't even KNOW what a Heart trim for Furfrou looks like! …Pharoah trim? If you want something like that, take your Furfrou to the Cairo Region, they'll probably let your Furfrou in! I'm sorry, my hands are tied!"
He hung up and buried his head in his hands. "For the love of Arceus, Gloria… why did you update that app and allowed Furfrou in!"
Confessional - Gloria
"Wot? I wanted to see what a Furfrou looked like up close! I ain't payin' fare to go all the way to fookin' Kalos just to see a Furfrou! You wana know what the people are like over there? They're all pompous ad arrogant, think they know what's best! Pah! The nerve of those arseholes…"
Confessional - Korrina
"The sad thing is, she's right… everyone's all nice but if you're a foreigner, everyone just becomes arrogant assholes! I mean, we Gym Leaders and Sycamore aren't like that, but the rest of the city folk are! Oi vey… je ne le comprendrai jamais!" (I'll never understand it!)
Confessional - ? (Covered in shadow)
"It's simple, honestly. You bring in all the Pokemon to Galar and it'll be crowded and unlivable. So I suggested to Rose that we should simply nip it in the bud before Galar got overcrowded with Pokemon. It was a wonderful idea to not allow the National Dex in the region… I'm not really sure what all the fuss was about… isn't that right, my precious Garbodor~?"
"Gar Gar~!"
End Confessional
"Yes indeed. Your Furfrou will not be allowed into Galar! For some reason… in any case-"
Suddenly, a gap opened up and a man walked out of it. "I'M BAAACK!"
"Ack! Who the hell are you?!" Simmons asked.
"Cody the Worldwalker, Nan's friend."
"Welp, I did say his friends could come in to say something." Sarge chuckled. "I'm sure he has something to say."
"Yeah. See this cute adorable Growlithe?" He pulled out a Shiny Growlithe. "It's hacked."
"How can a shiny cute critter like that be hacked?" Sarge wondered.
"Well I got it from a Wonder Trade. Holding this Master Ball.. and it has a Adamant Nature with perfect IVs. For those who do not know, that is basically a Dream Pokemon that would require hours upon HOURS of breeding to get that lucky... Oh also it's original trainer used a website for their trainer name."
"Wait, people do that?" Simmons asked. "Why would you-"
"Visiting said website showed they were selling Pokemon like this for a lot of money."
"A LOT OF MONEY?! This sounds like a money laundering scam!" Sarge exclaimed.
"I could not agree more Sarge. And hey If someone were to find the location of said site's owners and teach them a lesson.. along with any other site like this... Well I don't think anyone would miss em."
Sarge raised his hand up. "I volunteer!"
"Make sure they can stand trial. Pretty sure Nyx would help." He chuckled. "Along with the rest of JINX." He then got a text. "Oh gotta go the wife needs me. Apparently Hades decided it would be a good idea to replace the flour with Talcum Powder."
"That… sounds horrid." Simmons said.
"It is. It ruined a whole bunch of chicken! Anyway ta ta for now! I'll be back later!" He then disappeared into the gap with the Growlithe.
"Well, there you have it folks! People like to do that kind of stuff off of websites because they have nothing better to do!"
"How would that work in RWBY standards?" Simmons asked.
"I dunno, experiment on them in a lab or something." Sarge shrugged. "But that's not all folks! There's a popular online FPS game that our very own author liked to play before it got taken over by bots, not to mention it rarely gets updated these days. We'll let the man himself take over for that one!"
At the author's room…
The author was typing on his computer. "How about if we have Rosalina go 100% full power when-"
"Nan-chan! They turned it over to you!"
"Huh? What? Oh, it's my turn?" He turned around to face the camera. "Ahem, anyway, there's a popular game that I liked to play in the old days… although I'm not sure if it's popular anymore. They hardly ever update it anyway. Y'all ever heard of Team Fortress 2? If you don't know what the heck that is, go watch the "Meet the" videos. I recommend starting with "Meet the Scout" and work your way down from there. Save "Meet the Pyro" for last! Oh, and then go ahead and watch "Mann vs Machine", then watch the short titled "Expiration Date" and then while you're at, go watch "End of the Line", it's truly-"
Ibuki pulled out a remote and pressed a button. "Fast forwarding… sorry guys, Nan-chan tends to ramble on with TF2." She giggled and then pressed the button again.
"Hah… hah… man, I'm exhausted. Ibuki, did you fast forward me again?"
"Whaaaat?" Ibuki tossed the remote behind her. "What makes you think she did that~?"
He rolled his eyes. "Anywho, allow me to pull up a dramatization one time when I was playing Team Fortress 2 one day. It happened several years ago too! Ibuki, if you'll be so kind!"
"Gladly!" Ibuki pulled up a video.
In the video…
"Alright, Ibuki, let's knock this BLU Team sky high!" He smirked.
"Ready to knock some heads off, Nan-chan!"
The author, currently running out into the battlements of 2Fort as Demoman, would proceed to blow everything up with grenades while Ibuki, as Soldier, was rocket jumping away and blowing up the BLU Team.
"SCREAMING EAGLES!" Ibuki laughed as Soldier landed on the platform, only for a Heavy to go speeding by and shooting her up and killing her instantly. "Huh?! What just hit Ibuki?!"
"You okay?" Nan asked, blowing up an Engineer nest with sticky bombs.
"Something just killed Ibuki in a blink of an eye, but it wasn't a Sniper or a Spy. She thinks its a hacker!"
"A hacker? Haven't encountered those since my Mario Kart Wii online days… eh, I'm sure it'll be fi-" The same Heavy went past him and shot him up while running by. "Ack! …Ooooh, that's a problem."
"NO NO NO NO! AAAAAAAGH!" Ruby yelled from the voice chat.
"We have dropped the enemy intelligence!"
"Where did HE come from?!" Ruby exclaimed. "Heavies shouldn't be faster than Scout!"
"Don't worry, I got him!" Weiss aimed the Machina at the hacking Heavy. "There you are, you squirrely son of a-" She fired the Machina, but the Heavy disappeared from view and appeared right next to her. "Where did he…?"
"POW! HAHA!"
"Agh!"
"MY ENGI NEST! NOOOOOOO!" Pit yelled.
"Aaaand there goes my Ubercharge…" Jaune sighed.
"Come here, haaaacker~! I'm gonna burn you up~!" Nora sang in a sing songy voice.
"Alert! The enemy has taken the intelligence!"
"I'll trap him." The author smirked, quickly setting up a Sticky trap.
"You failed! The enemy has captured the intelligence!"
"WHA?!" He yelled before he ended up getting killed. "Alright, that's it, I'm reporting this guy!" He said as he started to report him. "Alright, now we just gotta wait for him to get kicked out."
Twenty minutes of spawn killing later (Yes, this actually happened.)
"HOW IS HE STILL HERE?!" Yang yelled. "And why are our votekicks not kicking this guy out of here?!"
"As you can see, you report a hacker and they never seem to go away. Oh, but if you had the audacity to capture a point in Hightower, everyone calls you a try hard and kicks you out for playing the game PROPERLY!" He let out a groan. "One of the many reasons why I've stopped playing TF2… along with the many bots that are showing up everywhere."
"Why didn't you just leave that particular server with the hacker and go into a different server?" Ibuki asked.
"Because I was stubborn and I wanted to power through, not wanting to give the hacker the satisfaction of seeing me rage quitting." The author shrugged. "Eh, what can ya do?"
Ibuki giggled. "True enough."
"Anywho, that's enough rambling from me. I've also been hearing stuff about some hackers stealing people's personal info as they play TF2… or maybe that got fixed, I dunno… I haven't been keeping up with it lately. Gah, when are they gonna continue that comic storyline! It was the perfect set up too… Gray Mann takes over Mann Co industries, the Mercs are fired-"
Ibuki looked to the screen, sweatdropping. "Back to you guys! Ibuki's gonna be here a while."
"-And then Miss Pauling rounds the gang up for one last hurrah, and not to mention that Soldier is in a relationship with Heavy's sister, and THEN-"
Back with Sarge and Simmons…
"Wow… he's still rambling." Simmons said.
"Anyway, one last example before we sign out! Apparently there's something called… DbD."
"Db… what?"
"It's called Dead by Daylight, apparent-"
"DEAD BY DAYLIGHT?!" Sonia Nevermind suddenly came running in. "There's a friend of Nan who wants to do this particular segment! I wanna be a part of it too! Sarge, you're gonna have to see this for yourself!" She grabbed Sarge's arm and ran off.
"WHOA!"
"…H-hey, wait up!" Simmons said as he ran after the duo.
Meanwhile…
It wouldn't be hard for Sonia to find said friend, having followed the sound of scraping metal as a familiar, bespectacled individual was approaching a building that supposedly had those cheaters generating hacked Pokemon.
"Open the gates and be judged..." Flash mused, walking on inside with a giant sized knife.
(Confessional) Flash
"Just a quick disclaimer before anyone gets any ideas, no, I do not work for a malevolent spider goddess that eat souls, not only because it's not a very well paying job, but because I only have this due to something we call Author Powers. You'll see what I mean in a moment."
End confessional
"Oh Flaaaaash~!" Sonia waved him over with Sarge and Simmons behind her.
He wouldn't hear them the first time, as he was already inside the building. Wouldn't take long for a group of folks to start running for their lives.
"What in sam hill?" Sarge wondered.
"Why are you guys running?" Simmons asked.
"SOME CRAZY PERSON IS TRYING TO KILL US!"
"Probably for a good reason." Sonia hummed before she walked inside.
Once inside, they'd see the aftermath of a merry chase inside the building, Flash leaning his weapon against the wall and dusting his hands off. Next to him was one of the hackers suspended inside a cage, iron bars keeping their limbs immobilized.
"He'll be capable of standing trial. That won't sacrifice him at least," He mentioned. "Mind if I ask what you're doing here?"
"I'm just trying to sell some shiny Pokemon! How is this bad by any means? People shiny hunt all the time and they make themselves go crazy so we thought we'd provide!"
Confessional - Nan
"And this is why I don't shiny hunt... i'd rather not go insane. That said, i'd rather not go into GTS and get myself a hacked shiny."
End confessional
"Yeah, tell it to someone who cares." Flash turned his attention to Sonia. "I take it this is about the PSA stuff Nan's starting?"
Sonia smiled. "Yup!"
"Alright! Let's skedaddle and get somewhere more appropriate for this." Taking his weapon in hand, Flash would follow Sonia and the others out.
"H-Hey! Wait! Don't leave me in here!"
"You won't die in two minutes, you big baby!" Flash shouted back. "You'll live!"
"Just hang in there! Heheheh... darn it, Yang's got me sayin' 'em now!" Sarge mumbled.
"Salutations gamers, gamettes, and everything in between. It's me! Flash!" Flash waved to the camera once they were back. "And it has come to my attention when it comes to DbD, that there are some asshats who are DDoSing streamers and regular players for what I can only assume to be acting like bitch babies. Not just that, but also one streamer got swatted! What the hell is up with that? I get you don't like facing Hag mains, but come on."
"Wait, people are WHAT?!" Simmons yelled.
"This is why I don't stream... because of those assholes." Sonia mumbled.
"I don't get it, what's swatting?" Sarge asked, making Simmons whisper in his helmet. "PEOPLE ARE DOING WHAT TO INNOCENTS?!"
"Usually over losing in a game..." Flash rolled his eyes. "So I'm gonna take a more constructive approach to my part in this PSA, and impart some wisdom from me to you - the viewers - in order for you to avoid winding up like these salty manchildren."
Sonia smiled. "Take it away!"
"First thing's first, whenever you feel yourself getting tilted, don't keep playing and pour out your salt on the next hapless player you come across. Step back from the game and play something that's more geared towards zenning out. If there's a game you find therapeutic, play that till you come off the tilt."
"GAAAAH!" Hiyoko yelled as she got herself killed yet again after being hooked. "THOSE NO GOOD LOUSY-" She stopped herself before taking a deep breath. "Keep calm... it's just a game..." She said to herself as she turned the game off before grabbing a Switch and turning on Animal Crossing. "Hmhmhmhm~!"
Confessional - Hiyoko
"Sonia gave me a Switch and a copy of Animal Crossing just in case if I needed to calm myself down in case if I'm annoyed by antics that piss me off ranging from DbD to any dumb shenanigans those Reds and Blues do. It definitely helps!"
End confessional
"Second off, accept that it's fine to lose. Trust me when I say this, it is more enjoyable to 'lose' but have a good time instead of winning and sweating your nards off. The latter leaves you exhausted and burns you out more than you would think. This is something a lot of people can't do for whatever reason, so learn to take an L, otherwise you'll never learn and improve."
"Yeah! We got it!" The teal Inklings cheered while the purple Inklings were looking annoyed and one of the girls was crying in frustration.
One of them sprang up, slapping her cheeks. "Come on, guys! We can't let one bad loss leave us in shambles! We oughta pick ourselves up and try it again! Now who's with me!" She exclaimed as her fellow Inklings got back up, wiping their tears away and raised their weapons up in the air with a loud cheer.
"The most important thing to remember however is that at the end of the day, it's a fuckmothering video game. I cannot stress this enough. If for whatever reason you feel motivated enough to send a SWAT team to someone's house because you got styled on, you either have serious problems that need to be worked out, or your parents have not done a pretty good job so far."
Byleth walked over to her room, looking incredibly disheveled and holding an entire keg of alcohol with one arm.
Confessional - Byleth
"I was holding a therapy session with these kids. It turns out one of them "swatted" the other because he lost to this kid's character in a game. I wondered why he swatted him on the butt... until he relayed to me that swatting meant calling the cops on somebody and manipulating them into thinking you're committing a war crime! Ugh! It's so damn frustrating, WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?! Nearly taking a life all because you lost?! For the love of SOTHIS, DON'T DO THIS!"
She took a deep breath. "Sorry... learning what Swatting does did a number on me. Sure, we ended the session cordially but... I screamed into a pillow when no one was looking. It's why i'm breaking out the heavy stuff... I do enjoy a occasional glass of wine but I don't think that's gonna cut it here."
End confessional
Dorothea walked in. "Hey babe, you wanna go to the park and-" She spotted Byleth downing the alcohol straight from the keg. "Oh... one of those days." She sweatdropped.
Manuela walked by Byleth's room, unaware of what was going on. "Has anyone seen my keg of alcohol? Someone stole it..."
"That's all from me on general advice. One more thing to add - anyone who streams DbD and reads these stories, I am aware that some hackers will try and hold you hostage on both sides of the aisle. The only thing I can suggest if possible is switching your stream feed to a different system, so that way you can continue streaming and the hostage taker can't stop you from doing that." Flash folded his arms before asking, "...I feel like we're forgetting someone."
"Hmm..." Sonia rubbed her chin. "Oh! The hacker!"
"Want me to dispose of him? I'll gladly do it!" Sarge pumped his shotgun.
"Ehhh...someone will get him eventually." Flash shrugged it off.
At the police station…
Officer Jenny pulled in a cage with the hacker. "Hnngh! Mmmph! A little help here!" She requested as an Arcanine came running over and helped her. "Thank you!"
"This is not how I imagined I'd be spending my day…"
Back with them…
"Alright, back to hunting those dirtbags. Sonia, you wanna come with?"
"Oh…" Sonia took out her rapier. "I'll be more than happy to~!" She said as she walked off with him.
"Welp, that's all we have time for today!" Sarge said. "This is Sarge!"
"And Simmons!"
"Don't be a hacking dirtbag in multiplayer games!" Sarge pumped his shotgun and walked off. "Do do do do~"
"Sarge? Where are you going?"
"Going to help out Flash and Sonia!"
Simmons sweatdropped. "Oh dear…"
-And THEN the Mercs have a fight with the Classic mercs while-
Ibuki: Nan-chan! Chapter's over!
...The what? Oh! Hey, hope you enjoyed this! So things are gonna be a bit different with PSA compared to Chibi. The chapters are gonna be published every once in a while compared to the formula before. Like, a Chibi immediately comes after the main story and then Gaiden right after, then main story then back to another Chibi. It's gonna be Main Story/Gaiden/PSA/Main/Gaiden/Main with a PSA sprinkled in every once in a while. That way, I won't fry my brain to come up with ideas compared to Chibi. Good idea, no?
Ibuki: Ibuki thinks so!
Also, shout out to Cody and Flash for writing up their little segments in this one!
