It was a beautiful day in Madagascar. The sun was shining bright and not a single cloud covered the crystal clear, blue sky.
With Alex protecting them from the fossa and Karl helping to beef up security around the kingdom, the locals were allowed to relax and today, many had gathered around the water hole, some swimming in it, while on the beach, adults were sunbathing and the children were running around and playing.
Everyone was having a good time. Well…almost everyone.
"Hey, do you kids have a permit to be selling stuff on this beach!" Tammy yelled at a young red-fronted lemur and sokina tenrec, who cowered behind their lemonade stand.
She turned to Willie, who was holding a glass of lemonade and smacked it out of his hands.
"And you're encouraging such delinquency?" the plus-sized soccer mom said scathingly. "Shame on you!"
"I just wanted a drink." Willie wilted fearfully.
"And don't think I didn't see you!" she glowered at a mother bokiboky and her floaties-wearing cub, who was laughing and splashing while learning how to swim.
"Don't you even think about eating our darling children, carnivore." Tammy did a "watching you" gesture, making the bokiboky huff and pull her child further away from the hefty busybody.
"For the love of Frank." Tammy shook he head. "What's this place coming to? It's pure anarchy."
Nearby, one wholesome but not particularly passionate couple was sitting by a palm tree on their beach towels.
"Oh, Ted. Isn't this so romantic?" Dorothy asked while holding onto Ted's arm, but to her annoyance, the brown lemur's mind seemed to be elsewhere.
"What do you think we should get King Julien?" he asked with a dorky, overenthusiastic smile. "You know his birthday is coming in a week?"
"Oh, I'm sure we'll figure it out? After all, it's mostly the thought that counts." Dorothy replied. "Now, where-"
"But I really want it to be special." Ted said with strong conviction. "I think he and I grew so much closer during our time as rogues in exile, roaming the high seas, scraping by, and facing peril head-on like real men! Oh, those were the days." He sighed nostalgically.
"Yeah, while the rest of us slaved away as Koto's "unpaid interns"." The mongoose lemur said flatly.
"You're right, we should probably avoid any gift that might remind him of the mountain lemurs?" Ted rubbed his chin, in deep thought.
"Oh, I know! How about… a coconut?"
"Yeah, very inventive… I'm sure no one else will think of that." Dorothy snarked while pondering how she could reawaken Snake, when a large shadow was cast over her and Ted.
"Personally, I would go with red lychee nuts. We know he has a serious sweet tooth for them." Said Mary Ann, towering over the lemur couple. She was wearing a beach hat and carrying a folded-up parasol over her shoulder.
She stuck into the sandy ground, while a nervous Ted and Dorothy slowly scooted away.
"Hello, neighbors! Nice to see you came to the beach as well." Horst greeted them as he spread out a plaid blanket and placed his picnic basket on it.
"We're glad to see you too, Horst." Ted tried to smile while keeping his eyes away from the fossa who sat down next to his wife. "So...how is the whole "being married to a fossa" thing going?"
"Oh, it's going great." Horst replied enthusiastically while digging into the basket and pulling out one of his drinks. "I never realized how drab and lonely life as a bachelor was?"
"So, you're also excited about King Julien's birthday party?" Mary Ann asked the quivering Dorothy.
"I certainly am. I've never really witnessed a birthday party before, since we fossa don't celebrate birthdays, or understand the concept of calendars." Mary Ann admitted sheepishly.
"Um, Ted? How about we go down to the creek, it's a bit bumpy up here?" Dorothy grabbed her husband's arm and pulled him away with her.
"Rude much?" Horst shook his head while Mary Ann just sighed to the side.
"Just strike up a casual conversation, that's how you make friends." She was starting to think that advice only worked for lemurs?
"You okay?" Horst asked her.
"Huh? Oh…I'm fine." She tried to keep an even face when a beach ball rolled up to them and a young crowned sifaka followed it but froze in his tracks as he came face to face with the fossa.
Mary Ann gave him the friendliest smile she could muster with her rugged, sharp-toothed features and picked up the ball.
"Here you go, dear." She tried to return it to him but it popped and deflated in her paws. The little lemur started whimpering in terror.
"Ops…sorry?" Mary Ann grinned sheepishly. "Semi-retraceable claws?"
The child whimpered harder as he got a good look at her teeth and bolted away, crying, "Mooom!"
Seeing that, the other beachgoers grew nervous, grabbed their stuff and led their friends and/or family away at a brisk pace, and the once-bustling beach was quickly deserted.
Tammy gave the odd couple a scornful look. "Great, the lemur-eater and the fossa-lover are here? So much for having a nice day at the beach? Butterfish! Todd! Let's scram!"
"You said it, Tammy! Good-for-nothing miscreants picking on kids!" a crowned sifaka agreed while taking her crying son with her.
"Yes, mother. Whatever you wish, mother." Tammy's blank-eyed son said meekly and followed right behind her.
"Whatcha say, baby?" a sunglasses-wearing Butterfish drawled while lying in a duck floatie in the middle of the water hole.
Mary Ann and Horst were left all alone, and an awkward silence ensued until the blue-eyed lemur scoffed.
"Whatever. Now we have the whole beach to ourselves. Lucky us, right?" He tried to put a positive spin on it, but Mary Ann just hung her head.
"How does Alex do it so seamlessly?" she wondered somberly.
Lying on a beach chair in front of the megafauna hotel, Alex was squirming in his sleep, as his mind subjected him to a horrifying dream.
"Just kidding! We're never coming back!" Skipper and his team laughed as they and the ship swiftly disappeared over the horizon. "Initiate warp drive!"
"No! No! No! Don't leave us!" Alex mumbled while tossing and turning, as Marty came back from his morning jog, saw him and tried to wake him up.
King Julien and Maurice also happened to arrive on the scene, with intentions of giving the lion and zebra a cordial invitation to a very special party.
"Alex! Hey! Wake up!" Marty shook his best friend.
"Rise and shine, Mr. Alex!" the groggy lion woke up with a start as the lemur king himself hopped onto his chest to greet him, throwing his arms up exuberantly, "Wakey wakey, eggs and stakey!"
"Ya okay?" Maurice asked.
"Oh, man…" Alex rubbed his sore eyes. "That was awful…"
"Had that same dream again, didn't ya?" Marty figured.
"I wouldn't call it a "dream" at this point, Marty." The moody Alex grumbled as he got up from his beach chair, forcing Julien to jump down. "I'd call it reality."
He gestured at the baobab tree in front of them, which had a whole lot of tally marks etched into it and Alex used his claw to add another one.
"And now we are officially at seven months. Seven months since we got stranded here." He slouched his shoulders and sighed. "Just where are those psycho birds anyway?"
"Seven months?" Marty blinked and whistled. "Boy, time sure flies by quick in this crazy kingdom?"
"You're saying that like it's a bad thing?" Julien laughed. "It is the lemur motto to live life to the fullest every single day."
"Marty, this is no laughing matter." Alex told the zebra. "I'm really starting to think that those penguins just forgot about us."
"C'mon, Alex?" Marty tried to defend his little pals. "Cut 'em some slack, will ya? I'm sure they have their reasons?"
"For what?" Alex glowered at him. "For going on an infinite field trip instead of helping us get back to New York? Need I remind you that it was their fault we got ourselves into this mess in the first place?"
"Well…we can't blame all of it on 'em." Marty looked aside sheepishly. "I was the one who ran away from the zoo?"
"But only after they led you astray with their vague but enticing tales of this promised land called "the wild"…" Alex waved his paws sarcastically.
"I at least had the decency to apologize after I went loco and tried to eat ya, and you also owned up to your screw-up, but do those birds have any sense of accountability? Nope! Nadda. They just kicked us to the curb so they could go after that "Dr. Blowhole" guy, who I can tell you, totally doesn't exist and is just a figment of the head honcho penguin's deranged imagination."
"I do believe Mr. Alex is telling the truth." Julien was all too eager to back the big cat up while also hoping that what Alex was saying was true. That the penguins had indeed just abandoned them.
"No arguments here." Maurice shrugged. "He didn't strike me as very…well-adjusted when he first mentioned the dolphin guy?"
"Yes, precisely! Total mental cases!" Julien concurred. "Those silly penguins clearly have no sense of accountability and for all we know, they totally ditched you here. What bailers! Perhaps it's time to just face reality, Mr. Alex?"
"No sense of accountability, huh?" Julien and Maurice jumped and the latter hid behind his king.
Julien turned around and was faced with the penguin squad, their leader folding his flippers and giving him a stern yet confident look.
"Bossy penguin?" Julien blurted when Skipper poked him in the chest.
"You lower primates clearly never heard of the penguin credo. No man gets left behind! We don't do the bailing thing."
"You! Finally! Just where the hell have the four of you been!" Alex snapped at them. "We haven't heard a peep from you in seven freaking months!"
"Good." Skipper smirked, much to the lion's chagrin. "It means me and my boys have done a superb job searching the entire island incognito. Well done, team!"
The four proceeded to slap each other's flippers, while Alex stewed.
"Take it easy, kitty cat." Skipper joked. "I don't blame ya for wishing to ditch that guy…" he gestured at Julien "…as fast as possible."
"Hey!" Julien snapped.
"But I also expected a little gratitude. While you and your hippie friends were lounging around and enjoying your unscheduled tropical vacation, my team and I risked life and limb navigating through this savage, uncharted jungle trying to track down a dangerous supervillain bent on world domination."
Clearly, none of them had heard about Alex getting destroyed by Wigman Wildebeest a few months ago and barely making a recovery. So much for gathering intel.
Marty, on the other hand, looked more pleased to see them again. "So, have you guys figured out a way to get us back home? And what's the stat on that evil dolphin dude?"
"Marty…" Alex rolled his eyes. "You're not seriously buying into this crap-"
"Very good question, Stripes, and I have some good news for you, but also some bad news. Which one would you preferer to hear first?"
"The bad news." Alex said firmly. "Just how bad are we talking about?"
"Well, we haven't found a single trace of Blowhole or any of his minions." Skipper narrowed his eyes. "Clearly, that diabolical dolphin has upped his game and knows how to hide his entire demented operation."
"You hear that, Blowhole!" Skipper suddenly shouted and looked around for the hidden cameras and mikes that weren't there. "You may have won this round but the battle isn't over, you bottle-nosed freak! You can't evade us forever!"
"Dear Frank…" a frightened Maurice whispered to Julien "…he really is off his rocker?"
"Our fates lie in the hands of these whackos…" Alex looked aside and muttered despondently, the prospect of returning to his beloved zoo seeming increasingly more like a pipe dream.
"And what's the good news?" Marty asked as Kowalski patted his leader's back.
"Keep it together, sir. We cannot allow that fiend's mind-games to get to us."
"You're right." Skipper composed himself and cleared his throat. "Well, the good news is, assuming you hippies are willing to risk possible death via air missiles…"
"We are." Alex crossed his arms, his tone sarcastic. "Call it a cat's sixth sense, but I have a feeling we won't be seeing any air missiles."
"Now that's the spirit, soldier." Skipper gave him a genuine smile. "Diving headfirst into danger without a second thought, I may have misjudged you."
"Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever…you were insinuating that you had a plan to get us back to New York?" was Alex's snippy response.
Julien and Maurice both felt their blood running cold.
"You are correct. We have devised a fool-proof plan to leave this island." Kowalski added with unbridled confidence, making Alex's eyes grow wide.
"You have? How?"
"Simple. Suffice to say, the ship won't be going anywhere without fuel." The science penguin explained. "But it's not the only mode of transportation at our disposal that's suitable for carrying megafauna. There's also the crashed plane."
"My plane?" Julien blurted.
"The plane?" Marty made a face. "But how is that rust bucket supposed to fly? It's a total wreck? And the whole crew are nuthin' but skeletons?"
"And you call that a hindrance?" Skipper shrugged with an air of nonchalance while Rico hacked up a wrench and a blowtorch. "Just leave it to me and my boys. We'll make that hunk of junk operational again in…"
He looked at Kowalski's abacus. "Two or three weeks at the longest. Give or take a day, depending on if you want us to install inflight tv or not?"
"What?" Julien was outraged. "You cannot-"
"I'd love that!" Marty smiled while Alex looked like he had just won the lottery.
"That's great news! When will you start with the repairs?"
"Right now." Skipper smirked. "Rico's been itching to use that blowtorch-"
"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Julien jumped between them and did a "time out" gesture. "Excuse me, but what is this talking about using my plane to leave the island?"
"Yes?" Maurice scowled. "You didn't ask the king for permission?"
"No, we didn't." Skipper said flatly. "What's your point?"
"Yes, we do not require any assistance from you lemurs." Kowalski made a shooing gesture. "So just stay out of our way, we'll make progress much faster without your interference. Trust me, you won't even notice our operation-"
"Not so fast!" Julien snapped before crossing his arms and huffing. "I don't believe you silly penguins heard me right, which is not surprising, since you clearly do not have ears."
"Incorrect, we birds might lack external ears made from cartilage, but our internal ears are perfectly functional." Kowalski seemed ready for another long-winded lecture. "In fact, our hearing-"
"That's not my point!" Julien cut him off. "I was talking about how you didn't ask me for permission to use my plane? Which is a totally rude thing to do to a king by the way!"
"Yes, this plane has been in the possession of the King Julien monarchy for generations." Maurice added indignantly. "It has served as their palace ever since King Julien VI!"
"Yes, it is an important family heirloom! You cannot just take someone's heirloom and do with it as you please!" Julien continued. "Especially a king's!"
Marty and Alex exchanged conflicted looks. "I haven't thought 'bout that?" the zebra lowered his ears.
The penguins though looked unmoved and Rico sniggered. Except for Private, who visibly shrank.
"Oh, boo-hoo. How inconsiderate of us?" Skipper made a mocking face. "Heaven forbid we put that plane to proper use if it means you lemmies can no longer use it as your personal play castle."
"Yes, clearly you need it more than us." Kowalski sneered, his tone laced with dry sarcasm, which, for once, was not lost on Julien. Nor was Rico hacking up a violin and playing a cloyingly sad song.
But before Julien could retort, Skipper turned back to Alex and Marty. "Anyway, we can start with the repairs at twelve hundred hours, our main concern should be the engines, cuz the plane is missing one, but Kowalski and Private will get busy constructing a-"
"Do not be turning your back on the king!" Julien jumped in front of him. "I did NOT give you my kingly permission and I don't intend to do it in a million-"
Skipper casually shoved him aside. "The lemurs might give us some trouble, but Rico will take care of any hostile interlopers and get them to "cooperate"."
Julien and Maurice yelped and hugged each other as the psychotic penguin hacked up a chainsaw and turned it on while chuckling evilly at them and licking his beak.
"Wait! Wait! Put down the chainsaw!" Alex waved his paws before growing a saddened look. "We won't be using the plane. That plan is off the table." He said begrudgingly.
"It is?" Julien smiled while Skipper's jaw dropped.
"What the deuce?"
"Yes. You guys are our friends." Alex gave the ringtail a weak smile. "You took us in after we got marooned here and have been nothing but kind, helpful and supportive, and we're supposed to just steal your property in return? I don't think so."
"Yeah, we would never do that." Marty added. "That's jus' common decency. We ain't no stinkin' robber barons."
"I…yes. Thank you so much for being so understanding." A relieved Julien pressed his hands together while Maurice cringed with renewed guilt.
"Oh, come on, you oversized marshmallows!" Skipper threw his flippers up incredulously. "You can't be serious? "Robber baron" is just a derogatory term used by hippies to guilt-trip people into not making use of resources that are being squandered by clueless natives!"
Alex sighed in resignation. "Well…guess me and my friends really are "hippies", cuz we're not going through with this."
"Yes! Yes! Who says being a hippie is a bad thing? Being in tune with nature and all that jazz!" Julien wholeheartedly agreed. "I'm also a hippie and proud of it!"
He then blew a raspberry at the lead penguin, who scowled in contempt.
"Skipper, he's right." Private finally spoke up. "Your plan sounds very unethical to me. It's not right to just take things from people without their consent."
"Private!" Skipper gasped before glowering at Alex and Marty. "Look what you did, you maniacs! You brainwashed the poor boy with your insidious hippie propaganda!"
"Skipper, please?" Private implored him. "There's got to be another way to get our friends back to New York, surely we can figure something out?"
"Oh, no. You're giving me that look?" Skipper winced as the youngest of the penguins looked at him with sad puppy dog eyes. "Do not give me that look, soldier! That's an order!"
Private continued giving him the look. Accompanied by an adorable whimper.
Skipper finally caved in. "Fine! I'm officially calling off Operation: Air Penguin!"
"Awww man!" an annoyed Rico threw his chainsaw away and it fell a nearby palm tree, which squashed an unsuspecting Willie.
Skipper glared at Alex and Marty. "I hope you're happy? Thanks to you taking pity on these lemmies, we are stuck in this tropical dump indefinitely."
"Awesome!" Julien cheered before turning to the disappointed Alex and Marty.
"Eh…I mean… look on the bright side, freaks? Perhaps a certain someone will be celebrating his birthday within, oh I dunno? A week? And I'm sure that certain someone will invite you guys to his super-awesome-tacular surprise birthday party."
He gave the duo several winks. "Wink, wink. Nod, nod…" Then he made a shushing gesture, while Maurice and Skipper rolled their eyes.
"But don't tell anyone, for that certain someone is meant to be surprised by his surprise birthday party. I'm sure that will totally make you forget about being marooned here."
Skipper facepalmed. "Let's just salvage what we can from this miserable situation before I have an aneurysm. New plan!"
His team stood at attention and Skipper started pacing back and forth.
"Alright, we can use this delay to our advantage by continuing our hunt for Blowhole! We have to search every nook and cranny. We cannot leave a single stone unturned."
Julien smiled hopefully hearing that. He would be rid of the penguins once more!
"But, Skipper? We already did that? And I'm pooped." Private said in a tired tone.
"We need to be thorough, Private. We cannot let our guard down now." Skipper barked before relaxing a bit. "But do not fret. I have a new mission for you."
"A new mission?"
"Affirmative. You and Kowalski will be stationed here for the time being."
"What?!" Julien blurted.
"Oh, no…" Maurice shook his head.
"You need to guard the hippies and do a thorough search of this so-called kingdom."
"This is a real kingdom!" Julien snapped and had to be held back by Maurice.
"Kowalski, you'll be in charge of gathering intelligence while I'm gone! For all we know, Blowhole has rigged this place with hidden cameras and double agents, ready to strike the moment you lower your guard. So stay sharp, soldier!" Skipper continued while ignoring the lemur.
"Since we're stuck here, it is our duty to keep these hapless civilians safe, so I expect you two to keep your eyes peeled and be on the lookout for any suspicious activity."
"Understood, Skipper." Kowalski nodded.
"Yes, we won't let you down." Private added.
"Good, we'll remain in contact with you. Should you find anything, report to me immediately and Rico and I will be back in a heartbeat!" Skipper put his flippers behind his back while Rico hacked up two walkie-talkies, which Kowalski and Private caught before saluting their superior.
Skipper and Rico returned the favor.
"Stay strong, man." Skipper said before he and Rico belly-slid into the jungle.
Once they were gone, Kowalski's stoic composure cracked and he let out a giddy laugh while clutching his walkie-talkie.
"Uhhh! Skipper left me in charge! I knew he trusted my judgment the most!"
"What should we do now?" Private asked him and the tall penguin composed himself before turning to Alex and Marty.
"No need to panic, innocent civilians. You will be under our protection until further notice. You can resume your daily routines without worrying about any surprise attack from that fiendish cetacean and his crustacean henchmen. I have everything under control." He said with an air of smugness.
"Gee, I feel so safe now…" Alex rolled his eyes.
"No thanks necessary, though they are greatly appreciated." Kowalski insisted. "Now, if you'll excuse us. The private and I have lots of work to do. First order of business…" he paused to savor the feeling of authority "…uhhh...it feels so good saying that."
"Kowalski…don't let this get to your head." Private whispered to him through a semi-closed beak.
"Um…yes. Anyway, our first order of business is to construct a temporary HQ! Come on, Private!"
The two saluted the mammals before belly-sliding out of there.
Alex deflated and dropped his arms. "We're gonna be stuck here forever."
Rearing up, Marty put his arm over him and started leading him away.
"Don't be such a pessimist, Alex." The zebra said in jest. "I'm sure things will work out in the end. I think you need a good dose of fermented grapes! And I know just the place for it. See ya later, KJ!"
Julien waved back nervously before turning to Maurice.
"Mo-Mo, this is not good." He quivered. "If those nosy penguins hang around our kingdom, sooner or later they might find out…"
"I guess this calls for another emergency meeting at the plane." Maurice sighed. "Given the circumstances, we need to plan this out thoroughly, and be quick and discreet about it."
"King Julien? Is this really the best "safe room" you could afford?" an irate Karl asked.
"Yeah, it is a little… too close for comfort?" Timo agreed as he, Karl, Julien and Maurice were pressed uncomfortably close to each other inside an outhouse.
"Budget cuts." Julien explained as he shoved Maurice's face away from his own. "It's the best we could find on short notice."
"I like it here."
"Mort?!" Julien jolted as the annoying mouse lemur manifested in the middle of their group. "Where did you come from? How did you find us?"
"I always know where my King Julien is." Mort smiled. "Always." He added in an eerie whisper.
"Oh, brother…" Karl rolled his eyes.
"Guys, I don't want to panic anyone…" Timo chuckled nervously, followed by a snort. "…but I am terribly claustrophobic, and my claustrophobia sometimes makes me lose control over my bodily fluids."
"Okay, where's the key!" Maurice panicked but was pushed to the wall by the others.
"Enough of this!" Julien barked. "We have a major crisis going on and we need to plan an emergency meeting."
"Oh, you mean about your surprise birthday party that you are not supposed to know about?" Mort asked excitedly.
"No! I'm talking about the silly penguins. They are back and they might be on to us? If they catch wind of what we've done and spill the beans to the freaks, our whole kingdom could be in jeopardy."
"What?" Karl blurted.
"Oh, dear…" Timo paled, and tried to keep the incoming explosion of flatulence down for his friends' sake. Karl pressing his elbow into his gut made it all the harder.
"Oh, that is bad." Mort nodded. "But I don't see how that takes priority over King Julien's birthday party?"
"Mort, I swear..." Julien was losing it. "…if we weren't pressed against each other in this dinky "safe room", I'd be kicking you all the way to Africa!"
"Keep it together, your majesty. Cool heads always prevail." Maurice advised him while pushing the latter's bushy tail out of his face.
"He's right, King Julien. Panicking now would be very counterproductive." Karl nodded while shoving Timo's spiky arm off his face. "I say dividing our duties would be the quickest way to organize this meeting?"
"Please don't talk about "duty"…" Timo was sweating and clutched his rumbling stomach, the gas inside of him building up.
"Yes, that's exactly what we should be doing." Julien smiled. "Okay, Maurice, Timo and I will inform my subjects, while Karl will use those fly thingies to keep an eye on the penguins."
"And what about me?" Mort asked, much to Julien's chagrin.
"You? Ehh…just keep your yap shut and…eh…continue working on the gift for me…I mean, for the birthday boy."
"And what would the birthday boy wish to get more than anything in the world?" Mort asked excitedly while suddenly holding a pen and a notepad.
Julien rolled his eyes. "I dunno. Getting rid of those pesky penguins once and for all would be the greatest gift in the world. Not just for me but for my whole kingdom." He lamented absentmindedly.
Mort grew a pensive look before we zoom into his eye and find him standing under a spotlight in an otherwise empty black void.
"Those nosy penguins! Always making King Julien miserable!" Mort ranted.
"Yes, they're gonna ruin his birthday party! Those pitiless party poopers!" another Mort, dressed like Pagliacci, agreed and honked his horn.
"But what should I do?" the main Mort asked.
"Simple. Do what your king has ordered you." Morticus Khan told him, chuckling evilly and fiddling with a dagger. "Get rid of those vile penguins!"
"Yeah, kill the penguins?" Mort wrung his hands. "That would be the greatest gift King Julien could ever get!"
"Yeah, then he'll love you forever and ever!" Another Mort, wearing a blonde wig and green sundress with flower patterns, piped in happily and hugged himself.
"And he'll be free ta keep dem freaks captive till da end of their days!" another Mort, who wore a vest and a straw hat, said while holding two more Morts tied by their wrists like slaves, who nodded happily.
"Groovy, man." Hippie Mort said while playing his drums.
"A smashing idea. I wager King Julien will never see that coming." Smart Mort agreed while sipping tea.
"Yeah, talk about a real surprise!" the main Mort laughed manically.
"And why not kill Karl too while you're at it?" a mangy-looking Mort who was covered in X-shaped scars casually suggested while passing by him, with two knives behind his back.
"Great idea! Oh, thank you, guys! Now I know how to give my king the best birthday gift ever!"
"Mort!"
Mort was snapped back to reality and found himself giggling sinisterly.
"Just what were you mumbling about now?" Karl asked with a suspicious glare.
"Oh, nothing…" Mort sent him a cute and innocent look.
"Then how about you quit wasting the king's oxygen and help us find the key!" Julien snapped as he and the others felt around.
"Yeah, Timo's 'bout to blow!" Maurice cried as the streaked tenrec sported a constipated look while holding his bulging belly.
"Aww…crud." Mort's face fell.
"Nobody poke him or we're done for." Karl said, his pupils shrinking. Another rumble told them they were running out of time.
"On second thought, forget the key!" Julien exclaimed. "Just ram the door! Ram for your lives!"
He, Maurice, Karl and Mort started ramming it with all their might, nearly knocking the outhouse over until the door finally busted open and they spilled out into a pile.
"Thank you, guys!" Timo said frantically and shut the door as loud and nasty bowel sounds were soon heard from inside the outhouse.
Mort was the first to jump to his feet. "Well, see you later! I've got some gift-shopping to do!" he laughed and ran off into the jungle.
"Another close call…" Julien chuckled lightly. "Classic KJ and co adventure."
Someone cleared their throat and the three of them looked up. Julien beamed as he saw his parents staring at him with skeptical looks.
"Is this any way to greet your parents, Julien?" Princess Julienne asked with a scowl.
"Mommy! Big Pappa!" Julien was overjoyed and went in to give them a big hug, but his father kept him at bay with his travel scepter.
"Goodness gracious, son." Prince Barty said poshly. "Could you refrain from any physical displays of affection until after you had your shower?"
"What? Oh, oh. Don't worry, you misunderstand." Julien raised his hands. "Me and my entourage were just doing our business in there."
His parents gave him odd looks and Julien's eyes shifted to the outhouse, where Timo was still loudly doing his business.
"No, not that kind of business." He chuckled nervously. "I meant royal business. We were having a private discussion about national security and what not? A good king always has to keep his kingdom's well-being in mind. It's his kingly duty."
"If you say so, old boy?" Barty just shrugged. He had always been told that a royal's main duty was to take whatever they wished.
Julienne scowled at her son. "Well, while you were preoccupied discussing national security, your father and I had to contend with the worst reception service imaginable."
"Ma'am? Sir? Please?" Julien, Karl and Maurice saw Mason and Phill standing behind the older ringtails, both holding a ton of luggage in their hands, while their knees buckled.
"We told you last time we met, my partner and I are NOT bellhops." Mason said while sweating profusely.
"I agree." Barty sent them a displeased look. "Your performance leaves a lot to be desired. I'd advise working on your tardiness first."
"And we had nobody to escort us to our son. Were you expecting us to escort ourselves like commoners?" Julienne added, still miffed.
"Oh, how dreadful." Barty shuddered. "Doing things on our own? What a ghastly idea?"
"Your majesties, please forgive us." Maurice said respectfully, despite not harboring much respect for the couple. "But you caught us in the middle of something important, and nobody informed us that ya were coming for a visit."
"Well, I suppose that's a fair point." Barty tapped his chin. "We weren't planning to do it either, but then we learned about a monsoon heading towards our island condo and we simply had no choice but to leave."
"Monsoon?" Julien blinked when something hit him. "Oh…right, a monsoon, I got ya." He gave his father a knowing wink, much to the latter's confusion.
"I understand now the reasoning behind your unannounced visit." Julien chuckled mischievously. "I should have known better. You have the king's sincerest apologies."
His parents exchanged looks but just rolled with it and shrugged.
"Oh my…" Julienne cringed with disgust as she noticed Karl. "That…thing is here?"
"Don't look at him, dear. Just don't look." Barty covered her eyes. "Remember, out of sight, out of mind."
"Is there a problem?" Karl asked with thinly-veiled indignity.
"Please, do not address my wife." Barty told him with a scowl. "You are that Kurt fellow? The one who tried to convert our son into committing unspeakable atrocities from which there is no return."
"I cannot believe you allowed that riff-raff to stay in your kingdom, Julien." Julienne said scoldingly.
"What? Oh, no, no. Is that what they told you?" Julien chuckled. "Karl didn't do anything, neither did I. That was just a stupid rumor that got blown WAY out of proportions."
Karl narrowed his eyes. "Yes, so there is no need for open hostility-"
"Rumor or not, a mother should never hear such horrifying things about her own son." Julienne retorted. "My burning wrath at the news was the only thing that helped me wake up from my coma."
"Same here." Barty shook his head. "I spent a whole day as a prisoner inside my own body, trying everything I could to get past my shock and tap into my righteous anger."
Karl twitched. "I don't think you grasp what we're trying to say-"
"Oh, Barty. I can still hear it." Julienne whined.
"Marcel, was it?" Barty turned to Maurice, who at this point didn't care to correct him. It just needlessly dragged things out.
The portly ringtail pointed his scepter at the chimps. "Could you please direct those novice bellhops to the hotel? My wife and I wish to check in before we get defiled by all this jungle filth and the unruly company in our vicinity."
Karl stewed while Maurice went over to the chimps.
"Maurice, could you please explain to these pompous twits that we are not bellhops?" an irate Mason asked him.
"Please, jus' roll with it till they're settled." Maurice told him before whispering, "Trust me, your problems will be over much faster that way. Remember, they're royals."
Rolling his eyes, Mason obliged and Phill did the same as Maurice led them to the hotel.
"Have a nice day, son. We'll be seeing you later. Maybe?" Barty told Julien while leading Julienne away, whose eyes he was still covering.
"And please, make sure that unruly civet sleeps on the other side of the island." Julienne insisted.
"Or better yet, on the other side of the globe." Barty suggested.
Karl crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "I keep forgetting how much we truly have in common, King Julien." He scoffed. "Insufferable parents for one thing."
"Oh, Karl, Karl, Karl…" Julien shook his head and threw his arm over him. "So lacking in the perspective."
"I think you're confusing me with your parents." The fanaloka sneered.
"Don't you know how to read between the lines? They are trying to trick us, but I'm way smarter than that."
"What do you mean "trick us"?"
"Doy! They've obviously come here to personally oversee the organizing of my surprise birthday party that I'm not supposed to know about. I am their son after all. That "monsoon" bunk is just a cheap cover story."
Karl's face dropped. "You can't seriously be thinking this?"
"Oh, their acting sure fooled you, buddy." Julien patted his head and then chuckled. "But I don't blame ya, they are masters at masking their true emotions. But as their son, I know how to read the subtle details."
He let go of Karl and stepped forward. "They just went with Maurice and the pansies to start the planning. The party will obviously be held in the lobby of the VIP hotel!"
He rubbed his hands. "I need to be on my A-game with my own mad acting skills to appear convincingly surprised."
"But King Julien-"
"Now be honest with me, which "surprised face" works better?" Julien turned back to him and clutched his face while turning his mouth into an O-shape.
"Oh, my goodness! I am so surprised!" he exclaimed.
"Or how about this?" Julien clutched his hands below his chin and grew big, teary eyes. "Mommy? Daddy?" he sniffed. "I don't know what to say? This is the best gift I could have asked for."
"But….I…..ughhh…" Karl facepalmed. This was just stellar. Not only did they have the crisis of the penguins snooping around, but now they also had the incoming crisis of dealing with a sulky and heartbroken King Julien, on his own birthday no less.
"What?" Julien blinked. "Too much with the waterworks?"
Well, this story is likely going to be a fair bit longer than my previous AHKJ fics, since the main story simply needs room to breathe, along with a number of side plots. Which is why I aimed to establish the subplots early on before we get to the meat of things. Not sure just how long it will be, but I'll try my best as usual not to be too wordy or drag out any plot points for too long.
And the penguins, especially Skipper, sure went full colonialist in this story XD I must reiterate, I really do like them as characters, but let's not kid ourselves, Skipper has always been characterized as a 50s style, all-American patriot with the appropriate prejudiced beliefs (such as sexism and bigotry towards other groups, namely mammals), or at least as much as they could show on a kid's show XD There's also a perspective flip thing going on. In a reversal of their roles in POM, here, it is King Julien and his kingdom who are the focal characters while the penguins serve the role of the intrusive antagonists and their own, less-than-admirable qualities, such as Kowalski's ego, Rico's psychopathy and Skipper's prejudice make them come off as a lot less pleasant than on POM, where we had a clearer grasp (as an audience) of who they were as people, while here, we see them more as how the lemurs would perceive them.
