I was betrayed by my best friends and I know they were trying to protect me, but it doesn't make what they did right. After 8th grade Maya and I waited for Lucas to make his decision and the longer he took the more of a toll it took on our friendship. By 10th grade Lucas decided to choice no one to salvage what was left of our friendship. We are finally seniors, we managed to stay friends after all this time and all the drama.

I am running late to meet my friends at the moment. When I get to where we are supposed to meet I see Lucas kissing Maya. I freeze in my spot not being seen and I just stand there in complete shock. Finally, I hear a throat clear and Farkle say, "Guys you need to break it up Riley will be here soon. It's been a year guys don't you think you should tell her? I mean you got together right before 11th grade. Smackle and I found out half way through 11th grade. Haven't we kept this secrete long enough?"

Zay says, "Yeah guys this is a little ridiculous." All of my friends know about this? So I basically have no real friends, because real friends wouldn't keep a secret like this from me. I am over Lucas I got over him a long time ago.

I hear Maya sigh and say, "She's just not mature enough to handle this yet." I'm not mature enough to handle this? Says the girl who decided to lie to her best friend to avoid the consequences of her actions.

Lucas nods and says, "Yeah Riley would over react and that could ruin everything. Plus, I mean she is like the only person who doesn't know so it's not like we're really hiding it." So if you aren't hiding it why haven't you told me? Or acted like a couple in front of me? He is so fake what did I ever see in him?

I don't need to hear anymore I hurry away from the scene in front of me completely devastated. I sent a quick text to Maya telling her I wasn't feeling well and that I was going to stay home. I ran practically the whole way home.

When I finally walked in to our apartment I had tears pouring down my face and when my parents saw me they rushed over. Daddy asked, "Riley what's wrong?" I'm not like my friends, I am not a liar so I am going to tell my parents everything.

I tell them, "Lu-u-c-as and M-aa-yy-a ar-e da-tt-in-g an-d h-a-ve be-ee-n fo-r fo-r a ye-ar. Th-e-e on-l-y re-as-son I fo-uu-nd o-ut i-s be- because I sa-w th-em ki- ki- ki-ss-ing an-d Za-ay, Far-kle and Smac-kle kn-ee-ew. Th-ey d-oo-n't thi-nk I a-m mat-ure en-ou-ghh to han- han han-dle it." I hope they understood all of what I said, I can't calm my crying down enough to be any clearer than that.

Mom hugs me close and says, "Oh baby I am so sorry they did that to you. The fact that you didn't run up to yell at them and cause a scene shows you are mature." She has a point I could have done that, but the thought never crossed my mind.

I calm down a little and say, "They said basically that everyone knew. How could no one have told me? Why didn't they tell me? I wouldn't have been mad I just want my friends to be honest with me. Mom it's been a year." I am not upset Maya got Lucas, I am upset that all my friends lied to me.

Dad says, "I'm sorry Riley I had no idea or I would have told you." I know that is true dad couldn't keep a secret to save his life. I don't think as many people know as they claim. I think they want to ease their guilt.

I wide my tears and say, "I just want to be alone I'm locking the window. If they come looking for me or call, I'm sick." My parents nod and I hurry into my room when I get in there I do as I said I was I lock the window and close the curtains. I lay in bed just thinking about all I'd learned today, it hurt so much to be betrayed by all my friends and to know that no one had my back. I feel asleep just wishing I could get away from this place.

After that day I was distant and none of my friends seemed to notice. When after a month they still hadn't told me I did something a little crazy I'd already applied to NYU with all of them for the fall, but I knew if they didn't tell me I'd need another option to get away to start over with better friends who wouldn't lie to me.

So I looked at schools all over the country and I decided on Cyprus-Rhodes University (CRU), located in Ohio. It had a good fashion program and a good English program which is what I'm interested in. It wasn't a random choice my uncle Josh goes there and I would have at least one person on my side there.

When acceptance letters came in I opened my NYU one with them and hid my CRU one from them. We all got into NYU, even Zay which was a surprise, and we went out to celebrate. We had 5 months left in senior year and still no one had told me the truth so after we celebrated I went home and opened my CRU letter and to my joy and excitement I was accepted.

I went and told mom and dad about CRU and they were shocked that I'd want to go so far away, but they understood my need to start over. I mean they did the same thing when they were a little older than me and it's only for college I'd move back after I graduated. Plus, there are holidays and I told them they could visit me there.

I made them agree to not tell my friends about CRU and if I decide to go there they swore they wouldn't tell them what school I was going to. I also decided if I do go to that school I'm changing my number first if I leave I'll need a real break and I will need time to heal and if I keep my number they'd never give up until they found me. I know it sounds petty, but I am hurt and I want to take time to recover.

Senior came to an end and still no one told me about Maya and Lucas it was actually quite heartbreaking and I didn't know how to deal. I've been distant since I found out and none of them even noticed which was more upsetting.

We graduated finally, so we took tons of pictures and went out that night to celebrate. We also went to celebrate my 18th birthday which was a couple days ago on May 28th. I didn't have much fun and they still didn't tell me. The day after graduation I called CRU and got everything set up it was decided I was going to Ohio.

I spent the summer with my friends and it all felt like a lie. They asked what classes I was taking and I told them honestly what they are just not where I am taking them. I kept them away from the apartment most of the summer, mostly because I packed up like half of my room and I couldn't let them know I was leaving.

The night before I was set to leave I went out to a club with my friends it was awful, but since it would be a while before I saw them again I pretended to have a blast. When I got home I sat down and wrote a letter for each of my friends. Mom was still awake so I gave them to her and told her to give them to my friends when they come looking for me. I text all my friends a good night and I love you.

I waited for them all to reply before I called the phone company and changed my number and made sure they couldn't get my new number. I wrote the number down and gave it to my mom and told her much like my location she needed to keep this from my friends. She gave me a sad smile, but nodded none the less.

I know I need to get some sleep, because I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow so I start getting ready for bed. I saved up my money over the years and mom and dad helped cover the cost for me to buy a car to take to CRU. It's not new, but it's still nice. I get into bed and set my alarm for really early I need to be gone before my friends wake up. School doesn't start for a week so they still get to sleep in.

My alarm goes off before I know it. Dad and I start packing up my car and checking to make sure I have everything I need. Once mom, dad and I have made sure that I have everything I tape a note to the window for Maya when she comes in later. Then I tell my mom, my dad and Auggie bye. I give them each a big hug and say, "I'll be back for Christmas."

Mom and I cry a little as we head down to my car. As I drive away I don't look back. I need to start over and looking back would just ruin everything. Look out Cyprus-Rhodes University here I come. I smile as I realize this is going to be an adventure and if there is anything Riley Mathews loves its adventure!

Letters:

Maya:

I have been calling Riley for like an hour and it keeps saying this number no longer exists, but that can't be Riley is my best friend and she wouldn't change her number without telling me. We don't keep anything from each other. Ok so maybe I kept Lucas from her, but only because I didn't want to lose her. She's my best friend.

I decide to go to her apartment to figure out what's going on. When I get there I see her room is half empty and there is a note taped to the window. It says: Go talk to my mom. I than leave Riley's room in search of Mrs. Mathews. I find her in the kitchen and ask, "Mrs. Mathews where's Riley and her stuff?"

Riley's mom sighs and says, "You better call your friends. This is something you'll want to hear together." I feel terrified by what she says, so I sent out a 911 text and told everyone to get to Riley's as quickly as possible.

It didn't take long for Farkle, Smackle, Lucas and Zay to arrive, but after they did I said, "So we are all here where is Riley?" This is so scary. I want my best friend!

Mrs. Matthews gave us a sad smile and said, "She left for school. She left these for you." She showed us letters and passed them to us. Mine had Maya written on it in Riley's beautiful hand writing. What does she mean she left?

I look at it than up at her mom and ask, "Did she decide to stay in NYU housing?" Please tell me that is what she means please.

Mrs. Matthews shook her head and said, "Read the letter Maya." I didn't need to be told twice, well three times so I ripped open my letter and it said:

Dear Maya (peaches),

If you're reading this than I'm sorry to say I'm long gone. I love you, you know I love you. We have been best friends for years and you mean the world to me. Which is why it was so devastating to find out about you and Lucas by seeing you two kissing at the beginning of the year instead of you telling me. And then to hear you say I wasn't mature enough to handle it was so much more heartbreaking to hear.

You have been together for two years and have never once tried to tell me. I could never do that to you or I couldn't before if I meet someone at my new school, which I won't tell you the name of neither will mom and dad the only two who knows where I will be, it'll be a while before I tell you about him.

I don't hate you or Lucas, Maya; I just wish you would have told me. I need this fresh start with new people, hopefully people who won't lie to me about something so big. I love you and we will always be friends, but it'll be a while before I can face you all again.

I changed my number so don't try calling or texting me because I won't get it. I know you'll think this is some spiteful act against you for getting Lucas, but it's not I got over him a long time ago, I just need this space to figure out who I am and without you guys being over bearing and over protective, deciding what I should and shouldn't know about my life.

I'm a big girl Maya and its time you guys see that. I can and will take care of myself at my new school in a completely new state, and no I won't tell you which state either. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. One day when I'm ready I'll find you and we'll talk about all the things I'm not ready to talk about now, but for now I need you to give me this.

I need this time and space more than I have ever needed anything in my entire life. Go be happy with Lucas, have fun with Farkle and Smackle, and help Zay find a girlfriend. Go be amazing at NYU and do all the great things you always wanted to. I love you so much Maya and even though I'm taking time away I wish you guys all the absolute best and hope you guys do great things

-Love always,

Riley Matthews

I break down crying and look at my boyfriend and our friends, who have yet to open their letters, and say, "She's gone." They immediately rush to open their own letters each with a look of worry on their faces.

Lucas

When Maya called us over here saying 911 I thought it must mean Riley found out. I mean what else could it have been? I sat watching Maya read her letter and I debated if I should open my own when Maya look up with tears rolling down her face and said the most chilling words I've ever heard, "She's gone." I along with our other friends tore into my letter hoping this is some sick joke that would be over soon. My letter said:

Dear Lucas,

If you're reading this than I'm sorry to say I'm long gone. I'm sorry you guys had to find out this way, but considering how I found out you and Maya were dating I guess it's kind fair. You feel as blind sighted as I did.

Despite what I just said I'm really not doing this to punish you guys, so please don't start your whole blaming yourself thing because honestly there is no one person to blame. We all share equal blame I suppose. I know you guys don't think I'm mature and maybe me leaving like this makes you believe it more, but please understand I needed time to heal away from the constant hurt I feel every time I see all of your faces.

I'm not upset, because I still have feelings for you that ship has long passed, I just can't believe you guys would keep such a big secret from me and I honestly don't know how to deal with all of you now. You were supposed to be my best friends, but you guys betrayed me because you thought you knew what was best for me, but news flash I need to live my own life without your help.

So I will be going to college out of state, I told Maya and now I'm telling you I won't tell you which school or state and neither will my parents the only people who know where I'm going, while I am there I'm going to take care of myself like you guys think I'm incapable of doing.

Be happy and do amazing things like I know you want to. Love Maya with all you have, be there for Farkle when he has trouble with Smackle, and just help Zay period. Be the best Veterinarian ever!

Don't try to call or text me because I changed my number. I wish you guys well and eventually when the feeling of betrayal lessens we'll all sit down and talk these things out, but for now I need time to adjust and to just start over.

-Love always,

Riley Matthews

I sat there in complete shock well I was right and wrong. She did find out, but the 911 was the fact that she left and I honestly don't know if I blame her. We kept this from her for two years rationing she couldn't handle it, but who were we to make that choice for her? Even when she is hurt and mad she still is the nicest person on the planet.

Farkle

I knew we should have told her. She is our best friend and we kept a huge secret from her. I don't know what Maya means when she says she's gone so I hurry to open my letter. It says:

Dear Farkle,

If you're reading this than I'm sorry to say I'm long gone. I'm sorry I know you wanted to tell me and you were in a hard place, but it honestly feels like you chose their side. I know it's not fair for there to sides, but unfortunately there are and you, Zay and Smackle took theirs.

I love you, you are my friend, but the betrayal I feel isn't just from Lucas and Maya it's all of you and I just can't stand to be here anymore. I just don't know how to deal with you guys anymore. And before you jump to conclusions I don't have feelings for Lucas anymore that's not why I feel betrayed.

I need to go somewhere where people let me make my own choices and don't decide they know what's best for me without actually asking me or telling me what's going on. I need to be allowed to be an adult which is why I'm going away for school, and no I will not tell you what school or what state or give you any kind of hint and neither will my parents the only people who know where I'm going.

Be good to Smackle, Farkle, help Lucas and Maya with their school work, and help Zay to actually pass a class. Be great and be happy. One day I'll find you guys and we'll sit down and talk about all the things we need to talk about, but for now I need space please respect that.

And don't try to call or text me I changed my number and made sure the phone company has it set where no one can find it and if you manage to I'll just change it or get rid of my phone. I mean it Farkle I need time and space to get past this.

-Love always,

Riley Matthews

I don't even know what to do I told them to tell her and now she's gone with no hint to where she went and no clue what her new number is we have no idea when we'll be able to talk to her again. Oh what have we done?

Smackle

Oh dear. This cannot be good at all Lucas and Farkle have started tearing up and Maya is crying. I don't know what one does in these situations so I just open my letter. It says:

Dear Smackle,

If you're reading this than I'm sorry to say I'm long gone. I'm really glad we became friends Smackle and I know social situations are kind of hard for you so I know it must have been confusing for you to be in this madness.

Please try to understand I feel hurt and betrayed it has been two years and no one has told me a thing or even tried too. I needed to get away and start over I hope you can understand that.

You are very smart Smackle and you can handle anything life throws at you. I decided to leave the state for college, I won't tell you which college or which state and please don't let Farkle try to look I need this time away. I also changed my number again please don't let Farkle look for my new number either I need some time and space. See if you can make Farkle see that.

Love Farkle dearly, be there for Maya and Lucas and help Zay understand things in life in general. I love you Smackle you may have been a newer add on to our group, but you do mean a lot to me and one day when I've had the time and space I needed we'll all sit down and talk about all things we need to talk about I promise.

-Love always,

Riley Matthews

Poor Riley. Well if she wants space I will try to keep these people away. One thing they don't seem to understand is what space is especially personal space. I hope Riley finds what she is looking for at her new school.

Zay

Things don't look good as I watch everyone read their letter and see them all tear up, even Smackle, I decide it's probably time for me to read my own letter. It said:

Dear Zay,

If you're reading this than I'm sorry to say I'm long gone. I know this is coming as a shock, but I can't be here right now. Finding out about Maya and Lucas was hard and it wasn't hard because I love Lucas, because I don't. It was hard because all of my friends kept huge secret from me for two years, deciding for me that I couldn't handle the truth.

That's not fair and I know you know that you always try to convince them I can handle more than they think. I understand why you didn't tell me Lucas is your best friend, but I still wish you would have.

I wish you would have as his best friend seen he was messing up and done something to fix it, but I also know that's a little unfair. You are a good guy Zay don't let anyone tell you any different.

I'm going away for school, I won't tell you where or which state and neither will may parent so don't bother asking. I also changed my number so don't bother trying to call or text me.

Be good Zay, find a girlfriend, pass your classes, actually go to your classes, be there for Lucas and Farkle, help Smackle show them that I need time and space away from all of you guys, and try not to anger Maya I can't calm her down now.

You will do good things Zay I know you will. One day we'll all sit down and talk about all the things we need to talk about, but for now I just need to start over somewhere new.

-Love always,

Riley Matthews

This can't be real. She really left and it's all our fault, if one of us any of us had told her she'd be here getting ready for NYU with us. This is our fault now she's who knows where alone and it's our fault. I miss her already.

Topanga

I watch as the kids open their letters one by one and by the time they are all done they each have tears in their eyes. I look at them and say, "She is right Cory and I won't tell you what school she's gone to and Auggie doesn't know. She needs this time and space and if you ever want to be her friends again you have to give her what she has asked for. She loves you all, but you betrayed her and she waited nearly a year after she found out to see if any of you would tell her and none of you did. Let her start over let her grow up. She's an adult now you have to start treating her like one."

Maya asks, "Will she ever forgive us?" I know she will I just don't know when that will be. My daughter is a good person, but she is a sensitive one too.

I smile sadly at her and say, "Of course she will honey just give her time. I miss her too, guys. My baby is off in another state and all I can do is sight here and miss her, but I know she needs this chance to spread her wings to be on her own. Without any of us making decisions for her. She needs to take control of her life and we need to let her no matter how hard it may be." With that being said I leave the room giving them time to process this.