Chapter 1
Jessamine had to admit that she was quite proud of her trophy collection. Organized on shelves in tidy rows, each part with a plug-written sign that bore the name of its former owner as well as the date on which the task was performed, every single one of them was evidence of a successful assignment. They were a proof of her competence and her efficiency.
Proudly she was regarding her collection, all the tubes and fixtures, the circuit boards and processor chips and various other parts that were vital for machines to function. Especially the motors. Those, too, came from all kinds of appliances, but a lot were from vacuum cleaners. So loud in life, so silent now. Many a vacuum had tried to intimidate her with their noise when she came after them- to no avail.
"Jess? Are you busy?" A voice from the door snapped her out of her contemplations, and she turned around to see Poinsettia, one of her closer friends inside the assassin guild. Like Jessamine, Poinsettia was a Thermalli lamp – same brand, different model. Not a Rainbow like Jessamine, colorful as they were, but a Nebula that came in more discreet colors and with an angular shade.
Jessamine turned around, a rare smile appeared on her face as she saw her friend. "Oh, Poinsettia, come in! What is it?"
"Lord Thanatos wants to see you… a new appointment."
"A new appointment?" Jessamine's face lit up, even if her bulb didn't. She cast another look at her trophy shelves. So, there would soon be another piece added to it. She smiled. She never failed and she was sure she wouldn't this time, either. "Excellent! Thank you, Poinsettia."
Without losing any more time, Jessamine made her way to Lord Thanatos, the head of the assassin guild. The guild resided in an abandoned warehouse, as there were several in this part of town. A run-down area in which many former business and industrial buildings were given up due to reasons the humans knew and the appliances didn't care about much.
The assassins had to come to Lord Thanatos, because he wouldn't come to them. Some said he couldn't, but it might as well be simply because he was the boss. His subordinates had to come see him in his room. He was an incinerator, painted in menacing red and black, who was installed in the basement. Rumor had it that he had already been there when the business that used to reside in this building was still running, but he had never confirmed nor denied it and shrouded his past in an aura of mystery.
"My Lord Thanatos, you called for me?" Jessamine greeted the chief of the assassin guild with a respectful bow.
"I did," the huge incinerator replied with a low, rasping voice. "A new client ordered a job from you, Jessamine. Meet him in the office backroom to discuss the details. You know what is expected from you."
"Of course, my Lord." After long years of serving in the assassin's guild, Jessamine knew the rules well, and she followed them with pleasure. The vital part of the victim always had to be brought back as a proof that the deed was done. Always.
The client was already waiting for her in the office backroom – this was one of the usual places to discuss business with customers who sought them out. He was an electric can opener with a few scratches on his surface Jessamine could tell didn't come from normal wear. This was a rogue appliance, but that was nothing unusual among the clientele that sought out the assassins' services.
"Greetings. You require the service of the assassin guild?" she greeted as she entered the room.
"Indeed I do. There is an appliance who has grown a little… obstructive lately. My boss and I want him to be taken care of." The voice was raspy like the sound of a blade cutting through a tin can.
The client showed Jessamine a photo that had probably been taken by one of the assassin guild's cameras with his directions. Many different types of appliances worked for the guild, among them two or three cameras. Unlike the other types, their main job wasn't taking out victims, but rather take photos of them at the clients' request so that the other assassins would have a clear picture of who to target.
"This is the target. His name is Osmond. He got in the way of our business… stands up for others a little too eagerly, if you know what I mean. That's why he has to go." He made an unmistakable cut-throat gesture with his cord. "Do you think you can do this?"
"Of course I can!" Jessamine replied full of reassurance; how dare this rusty bozo even doubt her abilities! She studied the picture he had given to her. "I'm the guild's vacuum expert, after all!" It was a vacuum, as she had seen first glance, and she smiled like a gourmet being served their favorite dessert. A Kirby vacuum with a blue bag. A Kirby Tradition… very good. He reminded her of her first Kirby kill, who had been of the same model, a member of a rivaling mafia group. The trophy she got from him was still one of her favorite pieces, a reminder of a well-earned triumph after a good fight she still liked to look at. He had also been the one who gave her the two parallel scratches on her ceramic face, one of the few who actually managed to leave a mark on her. Thoughtfully, she touched her scars with her prongs as she remembered that past victim while thinking about the future one.
Like all of the assassins, Jessamine took all kinds of assignments, but her favorite prey were vacuums. Her model was known to have an affinity to them, but in her case, it was tragically turned into the opposite. When she was new, she had still shown that typical fascination and curiosity, but when her household's vacuum cleaner, a Dirt Devil named Cerberus, noticed, he began to mock and ridicule her for it. Soon, he and his vacuum friends from neighboring households, a Bissell and a Vorwerk Kobold, bullied her regularly. Over time, it turned really bad… until she finally snapped. And one night, after she heard about the assassin guild, she ran away from home to join them. She became one of them and trained hard. And when she returned one day, she had her sweet revenge. Cerberus and his friends became her first victims, one after another. Cerberus was first. Their motors, her very first three trophies, still were among the favorite pieces of her collection. And from those days on, with the experiences she made in early life, she was convinced that vacuums were nasty and malicious beings who deserved her coming after them.
"So, you are confident you are able to perform this task?" The can opener's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. He seemed to become a little impatient, which made her frown.
Jessamine looked up from the photo and met the customer's gaze with confidence. "Of course I am! As I said, I am the assassin guild's vacuum expert, and I have taken out specimens of this brand – and even this exact model – before. If anyone can, it's me."
A malicious smile crept onto the can opener's face. "Excellent. I can count on you, then."
She nodded. "Consider it done within the next two weeks."
The client described the street and house where the target lived. "But he's sometimes out and about to disturb our business and generally be a pain in the butt. It should be easier to get him then."
Then he left, and Jessamine returned to her room with a confident smile on her face. It was time to prepare for a new mission. That vacuum's motor would soon adorn one of the still empty spaces on her trophy shelf, she had no doubt about that.
